Spring usually means myself being less active due to real life, but this spring and to a lesser extent last winter you might have noticed I have been around much less often.

I am posting this in private matters for safety reasons and a few months ago I passworded my desktop PC to ensure that no one can get in and read my Facebook or forum PMs, which apparently might have happened at one or more points in the past. So please, the following info must remain inside this section, else I assure you and [member=2]Streetwalrus[/member] [member=3]aeTIos[/member] [member=5]Juju[/member] [member=53]Snektron[/member] [member=2840]p2[/member] that if one person dares spreading this outside this section, he's banned for from CW until July 1st 2018.


Basically, in 2009-11 I faced serious social issues [size=8px](see the quote at the bottom of this post for more details) [/size]in life that, combined with a anger-management-related self-esteem collapse, almost led me to take my life in December 2010 (which resulted into Juju and his mom calling the cops on me after they managed to get an hold of my home address from Eeems, and sending me to the hospital for most of Christmas eve). I eventually recovered, but the social issues, while far less frequent than they were back then, still remains a problem to this day, just enough to be irritating and occasionally a source of stress. A close real life person also faced serious harassment problems in recent years and the fact I might be seeing some of the problematic people regularly makes me a bit sick in the stomach, as I spent the last 3-4 years worrying that the close person might do something irrecoverable. In addition to that, in recent years in particular we have been increasingly victim of serious privacy invasion attempts.

In addition to that, when I want to go out with friends (and in a few months, that close person), it takes me 90 minutes to get there and if I come back very late it takes 3 hours to come back. It also costs me $12 each time to do so because Quebec City doesn't use the same public transit company as Lévis does. On the other hand, those people are or will be located in a much more open-minded and diverse environment.


This is why, in late August 2016, I have begun the process of saving money in order to accomplish a secret life project  I've been considering for a few years already, but is now official: On July 1st 2018 (or hopefully a month or two before) I'm moving out of Lévis, QC, and relocating to downtown Quebec City.


The difficult part of this is that this will require me to switch jobs a few months before this happens (so I am sure to have a stable new job before the move), while keeping this project a secret away from undesirable people. The new job will inevitably give me fewer hours as I'll be a new employee at first, so this is why I stopped paying CW bills in late 2016 (the ads, along with the rest of the staff, are taking care of that now) and this is why I am saving up more than I should need, in case I am a bit broke at first. This is also why my Xbox Live subscription will end in May and why I have re-entered the music business. *cough*This is also why when I go out with [member=5]Juju[/member] that I insist that he pays his drinks this time around :P *cough*. I don't want to stop having fun entirely for 1.5 years, but I'm still saving up a specific sum per month with no exception regardless.

The turnoil surrounding this project and the fact it's essentially official now (it's not done deal but there's no going back. I'm done with this city) is increasingly making me alternately excited and down. Excited because I am already in the process of rebuilding my real life friend circle and found a second trustable friend recently, excited because I will finally have a certain minimum of privacy (which is impossible in Lévis), extra freedom to live how I want without being constantly questioned, made fun of or reprimanded about my hobbies and lifestyle (same), excited because of the aforementioned benefits. But down, because I still have to wait 1.3 years for my current apartment lease to run out (I can't financially afford to move earlier), and down because I'll have to continue dealing with my current problems and not being able to see my friends as much as I wish for at least one year. And stressed because if anyone IRL discovers my plan before the move then I'm in for a miserable few months of life. From April 16th to 23nd I felt down more often than usual and had three episodes where I had some sort of mental breakdown (but in rather mild form, since I was still functional for the most part and they only lasted a few hours each, but in two of them, one of which was on Tuesday the 18th and Friday the 21th, I suddenly felt like crying for no reason. I also had one that got triggered by a real life incident that lasted two days and an half starting May 12 evening until the night of May 14), and one moment of anxiety/depressive mood led to [url=https://youtube.com/watch?v=TsgzWaxmcS8]this song remix[/url] rather than a different idea (although that part might be a good thing in the end).

Anyway in late 2017 and early 2018 I'll commute to get to work, which will cost $130 a month, so I might have to drop my mobile plan, meaning my CW activity could be reduced drastically during that time.

Afterwards, unless something or someone derails my plan, I'll have started a new life and pretty much erased myself from existence in Levis (as the close person I mentioned earlier is about to do in a few months). I plan to disable my Facebook account if any form of stalking happens, as well as changing my CW/Cemetech nicknames. In case it was not clear from what I described above (and below), I have my reasons for wanting to cut all ties with anyone from Lévis after this project comes to fruition.

Basically, it's like when I had to find a new online home (Omni=>CW) in 2014, but this time in real life. I'll then finally be able to voice-chat at will, invite friends home, save a considerable amount of money by being able to eat home before events rather than being forced to buy expensive food/drinks there due to travel time. More importantly, though, I will finally have freedom.

EDIT (April 23rd): To clarify a bit on personal stuff related to the 2009-2011 incidents and to a lesser extent the last few years, here is a spoiler explaining more things about myself below. I put it inside a spoiler to avoid detracting the attention from the above post, which was the most important part. Same rule about not sharing outside this section applies there (there are some special cases where if I am asked permission first, that it could be shared but that's about it)

[quote=Extra personal info]-There were weekly attempts at matching me with random girls even though I was not interested. In other words, there were multiple attempts at forcing me to date girls or vice-versa. I had to make sure to not give too many hints that I am not interested, though, because they usually retaliated or jumped to conclusions about my sexual orientation or things like that. As said above, this became much less bad after the December 2010 incident, but it still happened sporadically and there was even one attempt at sending a prostitute to my home to have sex without even warning me first (she finally did not come).

-There were also multiple attempts at matching me with guys to date them, which is quite ironic, considering those people are anti-LGBT, and that they are unaware of my actual orientation.

-There were multiple instance where the involved people attempted to break present or potential love relationships by starting rumors about people's girlfriends or vice-versa, saying bad things about them and outright telling the other girl she shouldn't be dating a certain guy... often before or after they tried to get the guy to date the girl. And yes, this happened to me at least once with a girl.

-One of the aforementioned person often blamed me for his own faults or often tried to find particularly original ways to reprimand me. For example, I once got blamed because his PC got messed up shortly after he tried Crazybus ROM on a Sega Genesis emulator (downloaded from a safe site) and that he had to reformat everything.

-There is a serious peer pressure and gossiping problem in my city. In Quebec City, the gossiping problem (or at least people not minding their own businesses) seems mostly concentrated in social housing (known as HLM in Quebec and France) buildings and suburbs.

-Most people in my current area hates nerds, geeks, LGBT people or anyone that doesn't have white skin.

-I am in fact LGBT, except in Lévis where I "am" straight, if you get what I mean. I thought I was gay until a few years ago, then realized I was bisexual, but if anyone in my city ever knows then I'm screwed. >.<

-Aside from online people, I only really have three people I could consider as trustworthy friends and even then, one of the most recent one looks very hard to reach. I had a bunch of hi school friends, but they all moved on to different cities after graduating. Until Juju got something ressembling public transit service in July 2011 at his former home, there was a 8 years gap where I literally had no real life friend that really respects me

-I was hit by two periods of major depression over the last decade, two of which were entirely or partially triggered by the aforementioned life problems. The most recent one lasted from October 2014 to December 2015 (although part of it was exacerbated with the Omnimaga situation at first), but the most severe one lasted from November 2009 to late 2011. The 2009-11 one was so bad that I had actually marked two approximate dates where I expected to die in my head. I wanted to continue enjoying what I had left of my online friendships until I am no longer mentally functional, at which point I was planning to pull the plug. The first date was Feb 2010, with Christmas 2009 being my last, then I postponed it to July 8th 2010 (my birthday) and eventually indefinitely, which almost turned out to be December 23th 2010 until juju's mom called the police on me.[/quote]

EDIT (April 25th): Post above updated to make some things clearer.
EDIT (May 15th): Added extra info to spoiler then replaced spoiler with quote