Please, I am NOT transphobic. I just don't know how to feel about this. Please read before down voting.
My [45] husband [49] and I opened our relationship a few months ago. Admittedly he was opposed to it initially, but I managed to convince him of the benefits and how it would allow us to explore our sexual fantasies safely. I wanted him to experience more women, because he lost his virginity to me and has been faithful ever since then (at least I believe so).
But it's lead to a very strange situation. We have been married since college, over 20 years, and in that time my husband has always been a very reserved person. He knows how to please me, but he was never a kinky person... He's romantic and we have had a healthy sex life, but he's never even shown an inkling of a kinky side.
So when we opened our relationship, I was expecting (or perhaps hoping?) he would try and find his kinky side with other women. I thought that maybe he was too afraid to open up to me. Turns out this is not the case, because literally less than a week of our relationship being open, he slept with this young transgirl (early 20s I think) without even attempting to hide it. He just acted normal and said it was "something different".
This was just the start. Every single week without fail, hell normally several times a week, he has brought a young transgirl to our house to sleep with them. No women at all. He just keeps sleeping with young trans girls (who always look like they are only just above legal age) in our bedroom.
The thing is, I have NEVER considered myself bigoted against people for their sexuality, but this has me SO CONFUSED about how to feel. He never showed any signs of attraction to transgirls, especially considering he's always been very conservative/reserved. I want to yell at him and say "STOP! WHY AREN'T YOU ATTRACTED TO WOMEN LIKE ME?" but I know that would be so hypocritical of me. I have been so upset by this I haven't even slept with anyone other than my husband since we opened our relationship.
I keep maintaining this facade about how great it is, and then find myself crying when he's gone. I start thinking that if he's not attracted to other women, then he's probably not even attracted to me.
Our children are also unsure how to feel about the entire ordeal. And.. I don't know what to tell them.
Please right now I need advice, I know I shouldn't be so judgmental but I am so confused so please don't hate me.