I was forced to retreat further into the now empty office building, filled to the brim with convenient shelving and desks in advantageous positions. I sincerely hoped my faithful pursuers failed to notice.
They didn't.
Neither did I notice the wall in front of me while looking backward, checking for incoming bullets, so I found the nearest desk, upended it, and tried to think of what the hell to do next.
Shooting them was out of the question, since I had no gun. Then, run? Where can I find an opening...
Suddenly, above the din of gunfire and cubicle curios exploding, I heard a phone ring. It was the one on the desk - formerly on the desk - next to me, now on the floor. Out of instinct, I picked it up, and was greeted with outraged screaming.
This poor man, I thought, I've ruined him. Or her? On a strange impulse, I raised the phone receiver slowly above the sight line of the desk. I heard a *crack*, followed closely by the sound of the receiver exploding. I looked at the remains of the phone, puzzled. Here I am surrounded by people who want to turn me into swiss cheese, and yet I've just done what I have constantly dreamed of doing since I took this job.
I heard two sounds, one strange and the other familiar: The familiar sound was ceased gunfire, the other was my own maniacal laughter, unrestrained.
It was good that they were unsettled, now I could begin my work.