HeliAnon

Anon and Jeffs Bogus Journey

Oct 29th, 2016
1,759
0
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 28.68 KB | None | 0 0
  1. >”Why would a colt live in a set of abandoned ruins, by himself no less?”
  2. >A series of similar questions followed Rarity’s as the girls pondered the latest piece of information.
  3. >You all gathered at Sugarcube corner for your weekly meet-up.
  4. >And because Pinkie had some new cupcake recipe she wanted you all to try.
  5. >But mostly because you had important meeting things to discuss.
  6. >The first thing on the agenda was the what all of Equestria was abuzz about.
  7. >A week ago a group of researchers headed out into the desert lands and found ruins of some ancient city.
  8. >The scholar in you was more than ecstatic, who wouldn’t want to read the about the discoveries they made.
  9. >The history and… and… the SCIENCE!!!
  10. >But everything turned for the worst when some minotaur-like creature attacked them and chased them off with a broom.
  11. >Only after the fact did the researchers deduce that the creature was a colt, how? You don’t know.
  12. >But you were going to find out.
  13. >You weren’t the Princess of Science…err Friendship and stuff for nothing.
  14. >”Equestria to Twilight. I hate it when she gets like this.” Applejack sighed dejectedly.
  15. >You’d have to get in touch with Celestia about the proper permits for going out there, not to mention proper planning for cultural resource management…
  16. >”Oh look a special sale on ink and parchment.”
  17. “WHAT!? WHERE?” Your eyes scanned the area, looking for the marvelous deal.
  18. >”I thought that would get your attention dear. We were saying that a colt out there by himself could get hurt, maybe we should take a look.”
  19. >Way ahead of you.
  20. >A plan began forming in your head as you looked at your friends.
  21. “I have a plan girls. Go pack your bags.”
  22.  
  23. Elsewhere…
  24. “Damn scorpions.”
  25. >You flung another critter out of your sleeping bag before trying to settle in for the night.
  26. >You were crashing in the Lincoln bedroom, or what was left of it anyway.
  27. >DC sure as hell went to shit.
  28. >When you woke up the place looked like something out of those cheesy apocalyptic movies where everything just got overtaken by nature.
  29. >Wait, deserts are nature, right?
  30. >The capital was now more sand than politics.
  31. >Building that fell apart replaced the silenced cries of young female interns who looked for ways to get “ahead” in politics.
  32. >Usually these situations would be dire for a homebody like yourself.
  33. >But you were resilient.
  34. >You managed to scour the empty supermarkets for any canned goods you could find.
  35. >Unfortunately the only stuff that managed to survive whatever it was that happened to the human race was vegan shit.
  36. >And a short trip to a half collapsed sporting goods store netted you a sleeping bag and clothing.
  37. >Feeling something crawling on your leg you saw another scorpion trying his very best to get comfy and settle in.
  38. >Seriously what the fuck happened to this world?
  39. >These little bastards didn’t even try to sting you.
  40. >You nearly had a heart attack the first morning you woke up and found several of them using you as a source of heat.
  41. >Picking the little buggar up by the tail, cause being cautious no matter how friendly they were, would keep you alive longer, you walked to the giant opening in the wall and put him on the ground.
  42. “Go be a nuisance somewhere else.”
  43. >Turning back around your shoulders slumped in defeat.
  44. >There must have been at least ten more now on your sleeping bag.
  45. >You could feel their little beady eyes all trained on you. Waiting patiently.
  46. >This is how you die, not from some crazy adventure or balls deep in a some sloot.
  47. >But from frustration.
  48. >Fuck it, that moldy couch in the oval office would have to do for the night.
  49. >Walking to the door you turned back and regarded the vicious creatures.
  50. “You did this, I’m sleeping on the couch tonight and it’s all your fault, I hope you’re happy!”
  51. >They looked sad…
  52. >Seriously what the fuck?
  53. >You might be going a little crazy.
  54. >Talking to bugs.
  55. >Wait were scorpions bugs? It feels like you should know the answer to that.
  56. >Maybe you should go to the library of congress tomorrow and try to find out.
  57. >Hopefully you could avoid the other manifestations of your brains descent into insanity.
  58. >Like seeing small talking horses.
  59. >With little explorer hats and compasses.
  60. >Horses don’t talk.
  61. >Or wear hats.
  62. >Or use compasses.
  63. >Except on tv, but Mr. Ed was the shit when you were growing up so he got a pass.
  64. >You being the perfectly sensible creature chased them off with the most deadly weapon you had found in this wasteland.
  65. >Mr. Broom or Jeff as you liked to call him.
  66. >The horses scampered off, the fear of getting fucked up by Jeff a very convincing argument.
  67. >And their screams of fright and yelling was something you had written off as the heat getting to your head.
  68. >Reaching the oval office you pushed the wooden door open and surveyed the room for anymore unexpected guests.
  69. >We’re in the clear.
  70. >Walking to the dirty and dilapidated couch you flopped onto it.
  71. >An action that earned you a nice cloud of dust and whatever else was in those cushions.
  72. >Beggars can’t be choosers you guess.
  73. >Closing your eyes you sincerely hoped that your dreams would be filled with big tittied-girls and beer.
  74. >God do you miss beer right now.
  75.  
  76. >Want to know the downside of sleeping on a shitty couch in the middle of damn desert?
  77. >It gets pretty damn cold at night.
  78. >You expected that and planned for it.
  79. >However the damn desert viper, who was currently curled up on your chest, chose to forego the need to find adequate shelter and chose to mooch of your body heat.
  80. >You had a nice run in with one when you were younger.
  81. >These bastards would chase you like assholes.
  82. >This one was simply eyeing you, daring you to move and disturb his comfortable spot.
  83. “Can I ask you a question?”
  84. >The snake only stuck out it’s tongue.
  85. >You’d take that as a yes.
  86. “Let’s say hypothetically I start screaming and flailing in an attempt to get a snake which would probably kill in a single bite off. Would that make you upset?”
  87. >You could have sworn the snakes eyes grew a little wide.
  88. “Okay then.”
  89. >Channeling your inner child you flailed and screamed like you never had before.
  90. >The snake, being of better sound mind and body retreated off to parts unknown.
  91. >After a few more seconds of mindless yelling, just to be sure the snake didn’t get any ideas and come back, you calmed down.
  92. >If there was any humans left in this crazy world you really hoped one of them was a shrink.
  93.  
  94. >”But darling it’s soooo hoooot out here!!!”
  95. >Just ignore her Twilight. Maybe she’ll be quiet and let you navigate this desert in peace.
  96. >”This sand is completely destroying my hooficure, just look.”
  97. >Deep breaths… deep breaths.
  98. >Looking down at the map, which floated in front of you, you peaked at your compass.
  99. >If the coordinates those explorers gave you were right then you should be there in another hour or so.
  100. >If you didn’t have to make anymore stops because
  101. >”I got sand in my tail, how can anything live in such abysmal conditions.”
  102. >Celestia help you right now.
  103. “Rarity please, I’m trying to concentrate here.”
  104. >”But it’s in my tail.”
  105. “Concentrating now.”
  106. >Somewhere off to the distance you could have sworn you heard screaming.
  107. “Girls did you hear that?”
  108. >”That almost sounded like a dying ostrich.”
  109. “Fluttershy how.. wha? You know what never mind, forget I asked.”
  110. >Ignoring the continuation of Rarity’s comments about how her coat would take weeks to fix from all the sand you pushed on.
  111. >You had knowledge to find.
  112. >And to save a colt.
  113. >The knowledge would just be an added bonus.
  114.  
  115. At a slightly worn down library
  116. “Huh well who would have thought. Scorpions are more related to spiders. Guess I’m never going back to there again.”
  117. >Sitting in the library of congress you were doing what came best to you.
  118. >Wasting time in pursuit of useless knowledge.
  119. >The stack of books on the table next to you was a sheer testament to that fact.
  120. >It would have probably been easier if there were any working computers around but even then you would still have one minor problem.
  121. >No electricity.
  122. >So sans computer you had fallen back to the old ways.
  123. >Books and catalogs.
  124. >Apparently the library of congress also had several years worth of playboys in its collection, which would no doubt come in handy later on.
  125. “Alright next on the docket… ah” Looking at your little notepad you read off the next thing you wanted to figure out “What the fuck happened to humanity.”
  126.  
  127. >You should have known that it would be those damn furries that would be the downfall of humanity.
  128. >It’s always the damn furfags!
  129. >So after spending another hour or so in the search for the answers to what happened to the human race you did find them.
  130. >Oh boy did you find them.
  131. >So get this, some faggots decided that their creepy obsession with people in fur suits just wasn’t cutting it anymore.
  132. >They up and went with genetically altering and combining animal mRNA with a humans.
  133. >The end result? People that were more animal than human.
  134. >The pictures of these abominations only made you sick.
  135. >Unfortunately for humanity the retards in charge decided that due to these hybrids being more disease resistant it would lower the cost of healthcare.
  136. >So enter the doctors who say that everyone should do it to be healthier.
  137. >As time passed however the genetic information being passed down was more animalistic that human.
  138. >THE FURFAGS KILLED OF HUMANITY!
  139. >Seriously why the fuck didn’t anyone say “Hey how about we don’t destroy the human race?”
  140. >Now that you think about it tThere was probably a forest somewhere filled with deer and shit that descended from humans.
  141. >Wait, so if you hunted a deer for meat would that count as murder?
  142. >God dammit, that’s another thing ruined for you by those damn deviants and their fetish.
  143. >”Girls this place is amazing! LOOK AT ALL THESE BOOKS!”
  144. >Sitting up you looked around for the source of the voice.
  145. >That was definitely a female voice.
  146. >”Calm down Twilight, remember we have to find the colt first and make sure he’s okay.”
  147. >”But books”
  148. >”Maybe after Sugarcube.”
  149. >Sugarcube?Twilight?Colt?
  150. >”Ok, I do wonder what the process is for checking them out?”
  151. >Slowly and making sure to make as little noise as possible you walked over to the railing.
  152. >From the second floor you had a clear view of lobby below.
  153. >Five multi-colored horses were there just looking around.
  154. >It’s those damn horses again!
  155. >And like an idiot you left Jeff at the white house.
  156. >Mutherfucker!
  157. >”Girls look.”
  158. >Ducking down you prayed they didn’t see you.
  159. >”These hoof prints are fresh, but why are they so big?”
  160. >”Maybe he’s in here.”
  161. >Double shit.
  162. >”Let’s split up and take a look, and that means look for the colt not the books.”
  163. “I need to get the fuck out of here and fast.”
  164. >”What’s fuck mean?”
  165. >Turning your head very slowly to your left, your eyes met a set of blue ones.
  166. >Which belonged to a pink horse, who was looking at you with a big ‘ole smile on her face.
  167. >A part of you wanted to explain the intricacies of the greatest word ever created by man.
  168. >But you went with the other.
  169. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
  170. >Leaping to your feet you took off towards the window at the far side.
  171. >With a last burst of speed you leapt through, the glass shattering as you dove through it.
  172. >TUCK AND ROLL MUTHERFUCKER!!!
  173. >Oh look there’s some nice cement and bricks below to soften your fall.
  174. >This was probably going to hurt.
  175.  
  176. >Your leg might be broken.
  177. >Along with your arm.
  178. >And your coccyx.
  179. >Landing on a pile of rubble after jumping from the second story of a building might have been in retrospect a bad idea.
  180. >But you were alive and limping towards the white house.
  181. >You had to get away from these horses.
  182. >Their talking led to only one logical conclusion after all.
  183. >They were after you.
  184. >The furfags weren’t satisfied with only destroying humanity.
  185. >They wanted your ass gone.
  186. >Being an average human was probably a slight against their degenerate ways.
  187. >Two of them had horns, probably to do the stabbing.
  188. >”I think he went this way.”
  189. >Fuck
  190. >You needed to hurry.
  191. >If you could get back to the safety of your makeshift home you might get through this.
  192. >Ignoring the throbbing pain in your leg you increased your pace.
  193. >Soon enough the broken fence which lead to the south lawn came into view.
  194. >You couldn’t slow down now, they were probably hot on your trail.
  195. >Squeezing through the gap in the fence you stopped.
  196. >Just on the other side was mister viper.
  197. “Uh hi.”
  198. >The snake continued to watch you.
  199. >Whether it acknowledged your greeting or not was a mystery.
  200. >It’s eyes locked on you it waited.
  201. “I’m going to be straight with you here, there’s a bunch of crazy horses after me. So you got two options here.”
  202. >Casting a nervous glance behind you, you continued.
  203. “One you can bite me and we’ll call it a day or you can do me a favor and try to stall them for me. I promise I won’t kick you off the bed tonight if you do.”
  204. >The snake nodded.
  205. >IT FUCKING NODDED!
  206. >This must have been hell.
  207. >Talking horses, a world destroyed by furries, and critters that understood you.
  208. >Giving the serpent a salute you continued on.
  209. “Godspeed my friend.”
  210.  
  211. >”I’m sure he went this way.”
  212. >That poor colt must be completely distraught.
  213. >He must have hurt himself from that fall.
  214. >”Fluttershy come on, we’re going to lose his trail if you don’t hurry.”
  215. “Sorry.”
  216. >Following closely behind your friends you followed the path the colt must have taken.
  217. >The solitary conditions must have taken its toll on his poor head.
  218. >Colts were easily confused as it was but to add not having anyone to talk to must have been torture.
  219. >You had to find him fast.
  220. >”Flutteryshy can you come here for a second.”
  221. >You really need to stop spacing out like that.
  222. >Your friends stopped just short of a broken fence.
  223. >Passing by their still forms you came to face with
  224. >Oh an animal friend, maybe he can help.
  225. >”Hisssss”
  226. >Oh dear.
  227. “Girls I don’t think”
  228. >”Just tell him to move shy.”
  229. “Miss Viper says that she isn’t going to let us pass.”
  230. >”What? Why not?”
  231. “She said something about protecting her husbando.”
  232. >”We don’t have time for this Fluttershy.”
  233. >Rainbow despite your warning attempted to pass by the visibly coiled viper.
  234. >You told her many times before about how touchy snakes can be.
  235. >”AAAAHhhh she almost bit me!”
  236. “Maybe we should find another way through.”
  237. >The girls nodded in unison.
  238. >Rainbow looked like she wanted another go at the snake but quickly rethought that idea when the viper flashed it’s fangs.
  239.  
  240. “Jeff you god damn horny bastard.”
  241. >You found Jeff in the closet with two mops.
  242. “I swear to god you’re going to need to get tested. Do you have any idea what kind of shit they’ve had to clean up?”
  243. >Picking up your formidable friend you made your way to the foyer.
  244. >Hopefully your snake ally would scare those horses off.
  245. >But even if he failed, now they would have to face your combined power.
  246. >Holding Jeff up you banged your chest.
  247. “Come and get some you degenerate fuckers!”
  248. >Pain completely forgotten you readied yourself.
  249. >Off in the distance you heard screaming and yelling.
  250. >Give ‘em hell snake friend, give ‘em hell.
  251. >The yelling stopped.
  252. >All was quiet save for the wind blowing through the cracks and crannies in the dilapidated building.
  253. >This was it.
  254. >Your last stand.
  255. >No
  256. >Humanities last stand.
  257. >The still silence was eventually broken by the patter of hooves on marble.
  258. >Six figures emerged from the ruble which lined the entry way to the white house.
  259. >The multicolored horses looked cautious and alert.
  260. >Taking a deep breath you gripped Jeff tightly.
  261.  
  262. >Many Equestrian historians tried to piece together the events that transpired within the House of White.
  263. >Princess Sparkle despite being a meticulous note taker avoided making any concrete information available.
  264. >Thankfully through careful research and second hand accounts from the other parties present they were able to piece some of it together.
  265. >The following is a dramatization which has been adapted for your viewing.
  266.  
  267. >”I’m mutherfucking King Kong!”
  268. >Ducking behind an upended table you could tried get a grip on the situation.
  269. >Ears still ringing you looked around.
  270. >Applejack was clutching her flank, she was the first to attempt to disarm the frenzied colt.
  271. >In her hurry she didn’t expect him to retaliate so fiercely.
  272. >You watched in horror as the broom he was holding came down and gave her a nice hit on the backside.
  273. >Rainbow Dash was still flying around him zig-zagging in an effort to avoid getting hit.
  274. >Fluttershy was hanging onto to Pinkie like her life depended on it.
  275. >The isolation must’ve really gotten to this colt.
  276. >”Twilight darling, we need to get this colt under control.”
  277. ::SMACK!::
  278. >Taking a peek you saw Rainbow now floating high up rubbing her rump.
  279. >”Can’t you just use your magic to get him to calm down?”
  280. “I can’t use magic to overpower a colt.”
  281. >”I guess I have no choice then.”
  282. “Rarity what’re you going to do?”
  283.  
  284. >The blue one was out of reach.
  285. >You managed to whack her on the butt once or twice.
  286. >Your attention however turned towards the white horse that emerged from behind the desk.
  287. >It confidently strode up and stopped right in front of you.
  288. >Just out of reach of your broom you might add.
  289. >”Now darling don’t you think this has gotten out of hoof. Why don’t you just set that broom down so we can have a little” she batted her eyes “chat.”
  290. >Oh fuck no!
  291. >You were not going down like this.
  292. >These horses didn’t want to just do you in.
  293. >They wanted to corrupt you in the worst way imaginable.
  294.  
  295. >Like a man possessed you swung your broom in every direction you could.
  296. >Various objects flew off their shelves and mantles as Jeff made short work of anything in your vicinity.
  297. >You may not have accidently knocked a bust of President Reagan in the process either.
  298. >You were probably going to hell for that.
  299. >But collateral damage was to be expected in war.
  300. >A war for your virginity.
  301. >Because you sure as hell weren’t going to be raped today.
  302. >These damn horses were not getting anywhere near your dick.
  303. >”Girls scatter!”
  304. >The purple one ducked as Jeff missed her snout by a mere inch.
  305. “Will you stop goddamn moving around so much, how the hell do you expect me to hit you otherwise?”
  306. >Damn horses weren’t even willing to listen to reason.
  307. >You only wanted to give them a mild beating.
  308. >The kind that serves to solidify a point.
  309. >Five of them managed to get to the entrance way and away from you.
  310. “YEAH you better run!”
  311. >A painting fell behind you, causing you to quickly turn, Jeff at the ready to deliver his swift justice.
  312. >The yellow flying horse had knocked a painting off the wall in her haste to get out of the reach of Jeffs mighty blows.
  313. “Trying to sneak up on me eh?”
  314. >”I wasn’t I swear.”
  315. >You couldn’t tell if she was lying or about to wet herself from fear.
  316. “Not buying it.”
  317. >It honestly didn’t matter.
  318. >Towering of the horse you assumed a batters stance.
  319. >This was probably going to smart, but judging by just how big-bottomed this mare was you weren’t too worried about permanent damage.
  320. >Her eyes grew wide with the realization of what exactly was about to happen.
  321. >With a nice swing Jeff connected with her bottom and sent her flying towards her friends.
  322. >Waving the broom in the air you watched with a small amount of satisfaction as they ran from building.
  323. >This place was for red blooded Americans, ones that liked big titties and internet porn.
  324. >Definitely not for some weird degenerates that wanted to fuck animals or vice versa.
  325. >The retreating horses forms shrunk as they galloped away.
  326. >They would be back.
  327. >You wounded their pride.
  328. >And some of their behinds.
  329. “We did it bud, we managed to beat them back.
  330. >Looking around at the carnage you groaned inwardly.
  331. >This place was already a mess and you had gone and made it even worse.
  332. >Spotting some movement on one of the tables you saw one of the scorpions.
  333. “And where were you when I needed help? The snake was out there busting his balls.”
  334. >The scorpion threw his pincers up in the air and gave you shooing motion.
  335. >This little mutherfucker.
  336. >Shaking your head in disappointment you walked over to the painting which got knocked down.
  337. >Gripping the frame you turned it over.
  338. >President Trump.
  339. >You think it was anyway.
  340. >You don’t recall him ever wearing an eye-patch or being bald.
  341. >Placing the painting back on the wall you gave it a salute.
  342. “I won’t let you down, I’m going to make America great again!”
  343.  
  344. >”Can we stop running away now Twilight?”
  345. >Coming to a stop you looked at your friends.
  346. You all stood together trying to figure out what exactly just happened.
  347. >This didn’t go according to plan at all.
  348. >You were supposed to save the colt, be a hero, and maybe get him to show you his dick.
  349. >Like in the comic books that most certainly weren’t hidden under your bed..
  350. >When did it all go so wrong?
  351. “I think we may need some help on this one and I know just the mare who knows how to deal with unruly colts.”
  352. >”Twilight don’t you think getting Princess Celestia or Luna involved seem like a bit much for just one silly stallion?”
  353. “Who said anything about them?”
  354. >Applejack gave you a confused look.
  355. >”But you said you we needed help?”
  356. “The Princess Celestia and Luna aren’t exactly know for their interactions with the fairer sex.”
  357. >Your sister-in-law however had the most experience in dealing with these situations.
  358. >Your brother was certainly a hooffull at times and Cadence knew just how to get him to stop with his tantrums.
  359. >You’re sure that if you explained the situation to her she would help you.
  360. “Hold still everypony, we have a letter to write.”
  361. >Charging up the teleportation spell you felt the magic start to concentrate in your horn.
  362. >With a blinding light all six of you vanished.
  363.  
  364. >After putting Jeff back in the broom closet so he could continue his attempt at picking some slooty mops you went to the oval office.
  365. >Poor guy was going to have to get tested.
  366. >God only knows what kind of shit those mops have picked up in their careers.
  367. >Thoughts racing through your head you replayed the events of the day.
  368. >Going to the library.
  369. >Jumping out a window.
  370. >Hitting some horses with a broom.
  371. >Why couldn’t you have a normal life?
  372. >Was that so much to ask for?
  373. >Sitting down in the chair that used to belong to God Emperor Trump you thought about just how much shit was headed your way.
  374. >They would be back.
  375. >It wasn’t a matter of if, but when.
  376. >Suffice it to say you couldn’t stay here.
  377. >But where would you go?
  378. >Opening up the drawers of the desk you rifled through the contents.
  379. >Pulling out file after file of papers you scanned the titles.
  380. “This looks like a three year old drew it.”
  381. >The drawing consisted of a man in a blue suit with the words “Me as President” scribbled in crayon underneath.
  382. >Well he didn’t get elected for his artistic skills.
  383. >Finding a blank sheet of paper and a pencil you got to work.
  384. >Geography wasn’t exactly your strong suit but you did watch that show about how states got their shapes.
  385. >And being a gold-mine of useless knowledge you retained all the information you would need.
  386. >You began drawing a map.
  387. >It wasn’t going to be the prettiest thing, but it would have to do.
  388. >If you were in DC you could probably make your way north and see if your old house was still intact.
  389. >With any luck you’d never encounter these equines again and you would live the rest of your life happily with your best friend Jeff.
  390. >Maybe even find him a nice broom to settle down with.
  391. >After all the crap he went through alongside you it’s the least you could do.
  392. >Mind made up you began making a list of what you would need for this journey.
  393. >You would set out at dawn.
  394.  
  395. >”So he fought you off with a broom?” Cadence look positively bewildered.
  396. >”Uh-huh, after Rarity told him she was ready to suck him dr”
  397. >”I said no such thing!”
  398. “Will everypony just quiet down!”
  399. >You loved your friends to death but sometimes they really just needed to assess the situation and hold back on the unimportant details.
  400. “We asked for your help since you know how to calm a stallion down.”
  401. >”What makes you think that?”
  402. “Shining”
  403. >”Point taken, but still I fail to see how I can help with the situation.”
  404. “When we go back you’re our best bet in talking him down.”
  405. >”Why didn’t you just use your magic?”
  406. >Giving your sister-from-another-mister a look you continued.
  407. “If we can avoid the need to get physical with him it would be for the best besides the thought of overpowering a colt seems pretty barbaric.”
  408. >”You could have just floated him up so he couldn’t hurt you or himself.”
  409. >You…
  410. >Why didn’t you think of that!?
  411. “Be that as it may, we’ll go back tomorrow. He’ll hopefully have calmed down by then.
  412. >Your friends and Cadence although hesitantly nodded.
  413. >”Oooh Oooh Twilight!”
  414. “What is it Pinkie?”
  415. >Pinkie ever the hyper mare sat on her haunches rocking back and forth.
  416. >”What if talking to him doesn’t work again?”
  417. “It will work.”
  418. >”But it didn’t last time.”
  419. “We’ll make it work.”
  420. >You were sure of it.
  421.  
  422. >You are man of your word.
  423. >At some point during your artistic quest to create a map Mr. Snake had slithered back and lay coiled beside your makeshift bed.
  424. >And just as you had promised he was allowed to mooch off your body heat when you slept that night.
  425. >Provided, as you had told him, that no biting would occur during the night.
  426. >You were pretty sure that anti-venom wasn’t a commonplace thing here.
  427. >Set on going to bed early you lay down and watched apprehensively as the snake slithered up and found a comfortable spot on your stomach.
  428. >Hopefully any other critters you encountered would be this friendly.
  429. >But no more thinking for you.
  430. >It was time to get some rest.
  431. >After all first thing in the morning you were to set out on a long trip.
  432. >By your calculations it should take three to four days to get home.
  433. >Then again that all rested on you not getting lost in the process.
  434. >Your sense of direction wasn’t exactly the best.
  435. >You got lost in your basement once, luckily you found some graham crackers down there to sustain yourself.
  436. >That was a horrible week in the story of your life.
  437. >One shitty situation after the next.
  438. >Feeling movement on your stomach you saw Mr. Snake coil up a little tighter.
  439. >You had barely noticed but the temperature was starting to drop.
  440. >Grabbing the worn out blanket you set it over the both of you.
  441. >Now feeling a little bit warmer you felt your eyelids grow heavy.
  442.  
  443. >When you woke up in the morning you noticed that your sleep buddy was gone.
  444. >You were almost disappointed.
  445. >After all you did want to say goodbye to the odd friend before you set out.
  446. >Keeping an eye just in case he showed you began building your makeshift pack.
  447. >Focusing on only on the bare essentials, which there were very few off, you hefted the pack onto your back.
  448. >Honestly it was mostly what little food you could find.
  449. >Looking around the place which served as your living quarters for the past few days you headed to closet to get Jeff.
  450. >You might actually miss this place a little when you thought about it.
  451. >Shaking your head you threw those thoughts aside.
  452. >You were becoming a little too sentimental for your liking.
  453. >Getting too attached to one place was never a good thing.
  454. >Opening the door you were at a loss for words.
  455. >Jeff was on the ground with the mops on top of him.
  456. >But that wasn’t all.
  457. >The vacuum, several cleaning products, and one mop bucket were there too.
  458. “Jesus Christ Jeff.”
  459. >Untangling Jeff from the mess of others you hefted him over your shoulder.
  460. “I hope you enjoyed yourself because we got a long trip ahead of us.”
  461. >You made your way out of the white house for the last time.
  462.  
  463. “That’s where we saw him last.”
  464. >Pointing your hoof at the dilapidated building you hoped that your second attempt would have a different outcome.
  465. >”Alright remember, when we get in there let me do all the talking.”
  466. >Nodding to Cadence your group moved towards the large building.
  467. >Keeping an eye out for the snake which hindered your approach previously you all marched forward.
  468. >Soon enough you were all inside.
  469. >Telltale sign of your previous encounter still present.
  470. >”Twilight are you sure he’s here?”
  471. “This is where we saw him last.”
  472. >Humming thoughtfully you saw Cadences horn glow with magic.
  473. >You felt the tendrils of her spell passing by you even though you couldn’t see them.
  474. >”There’s nothing alive in here.”
  475. “Maybe we should check the library.”
  476. >”No, as in this entire place. There aren’t any forms of life anywhere.”
  477. >So much for doing things the easy way.
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment