Good stuff

Now I am fully aware that it is fairly common practice among some people to say shit like “if you want to know about me talk to me XD” or some joke about profile stalking. I don’t do that and the explanation is fairly simple. You know those playmate data sheets? No? Probably because the last time you looked at porn (if you can call it that) as soft as Playboy was back in grade school, and back then you had no interest in reading the facts about the woman you were fapping to. You saw her as an object to fap to and didn’t have any interest in reading what she had to say about herself and allowing her to turn from a fapping object into a human being… and you should be ashamed of yourself. Well I read one of the data sheets once, and it turns out it actually managed to subtract personality. Afterwards I was so turned off I couldn’t fap to her.

So what’s my point? Well, I couldn’t have talked to one of those models, so it would have been silly if her data sheet had some smartass comment about talking to her. I recognize some of you may not want to talk to me, so you come to stalk my profile instead, because you want to know about me. Second, I’m massively paranoid about people masturbating to my profile… yes I said “massively,” I’m compensating for something. But I figured if the interview with that Playboy model was able to convince me that she had such a bad personality that she was not worth fapping to, then information about me should do the same. Think about it, I have even less personality than one of those models, and I don’t even have any amount of silicone to compensate for it. So this seems the most foolproof way to keep people from wanking.

Well first off, you are reading this rather than talking to me, so I must be able to conclude that you are interested in finding another place to talk to me! No? Well I’ll tell you anyway, so just write it down and don’t be such an ungrateful shit about the whole thing. My name is Stiltonchees in most places, so yes, if you wanted to make a “Stiltonchees” account on some weird site to make it look like I was there, then you’d be a success. I doubt I’m worth that kind of effort. But you can find me as “Stiltonchees” on The Society, Youtube, Soundcloud, Progulus, Newgrounds (though I almost never use it, save to watch flash animations on occasion), and even OFO (but I’m banned). I also have an MSN and an AOL instant messenger, But if you want to use those you will have to ask me for them.

I am currently a Jazz Saxophone Performance Major at an arts school in Seattle, but I play a lot of instruments besides the Saxophone. In skill order, Saxophone (Alto, Tenor, Bari), Clarinet (Bb, Eb), Guitar, Drums, Bass, and Piano. I am working on Flute, but I don’t play it well enough to put it on the list, I am not going to claim I play Flute until I am actually competent on the instrument, just like your friend who just learned how to play “Smells Like Teen Spirit” on guitar should shut the fuck up… they aren’t a guitar player. I write music, but the vast majority of all the music I have up on the internet is Metal (usually symphonic these days), or soundtrack oriented classical stuff. I have a whole lot of Jazz tunes I have written, and not so many recordings, I may release one of the ones I have though.

I heard it’s a good idea not to discuss politics and religion, I have a theory that’s the reason why I don’t have so many friends. But really, besides making unfunny jokes, I also like to share my idiotic points of views and attempt to justify them. Just a warning though, I don’t always argue for my side, I like to play devil’s advocate. At any rate, I will happily discuss politics, philosophy, religion, or really any serious topic with people.

I have delusions of grandeur and like to pretend I am a troll. If I piss you off with one of my jokes or opinions, please rage about it. When you do this it makes me think I am a good troll and I masturbate furiously. It’s the only way for me to get aroused these days.