Magnus: We come from far away, we’ve really travelled a great distance to be here, um, and I recognize, I see the three of you, and I recognize proud, brave, strong, intelligent warriors. Warriors like myself. And, one of the strongest things a warrior can do—
Griffin: When you say, actually I’ll interrupt you, when you say “Warriors like myself,” the big brown Kodiak bear fucking laughs, and he’s like,

Kodiak Bear: You’re nothing like us. You, you’re tiny, you’re not furry, you don’t have fangs or claws, I’m not—}}

Magnus: Fuck. Off.
Griffin: Uh, alright. Yeah, I think, yeah, alright. I think we just had a Marty McFly chicken moment there. Uh, I think when you say that, a bear from the audience charges you.

Travis: Cool.

Griffin: Cause you’ve just disrespected— roll plus Body.

(Gentle tinkle of dice rolling.)

Travis: That is an eleven.

Griffin: Alright. What do you do?

Travis: Well, a nine plus two.

Justin: No matter what the game, Travis rules at it.

(Joyous laughter.)

Griffin: Um, so, what do you do when this bear fuckin’, this bear is coming at you to kill you.

Travis: Well, since I’m, I assume, a little bit smaller, I’m going to do like—

Griffin: This is not, this is not, sorry, this is not the Royal Beast Kodiak bear, this bear is, like, bear sized.

Travis: But I assume still slightly bigger than me, I’m going to do, like, some judo shit, and use their strength and momentum against them and kind of do a crouching throw. So like, I go with their movements and throw them over me.

Griffin: Okay.

Clint: Did you learn that from the other bear?

[Griffin does a single chuckle.]

Travis: No, I just know that shit, that’s judo, man. You use their own strength against them.

Clint: Alright.

Griffin: When you do that, the royal bear stands up, like, with a start. And it’s—

Magnus: Oh, are you next?
Griffin: Uh, no, he’s not like standing up to fight, he’s like, kind of, he’s kind of impressed. Um. And the bear’s going to, like, the bear continues to kind of come at you? Do you, like, kill it? Or? What— do you subdue it, or? What do you do?

Travis: Um, I don’t want to kill it. I love animals. I would like to subdue it.

Griffin: Alright, you fucking choke out— with an eleven, like yeah, you choke out a bear. If you—

- The Stolen Century, Chapter One