flurry's creepy uncle

>>I want to be Flurry Heart's creepy uncle who's starting to notice her blossoming into a teenager.


>"I can't believe she wore a saddle! A SADDLE! It took me two weeks to convince Cadance to wear one in the bedroom, and here she is, wearing one at her first party!"
"Heh, that's what kids do these days dude, it's no biggie--"
>"No biggie?! Did you see the way they were looking at her?!"
"Dude, Shining, relax mate, it's normal for colts that age to look at fillies--"
>"Normal?!"
"Oh please, as if you weren't eyeing flanks left and right when you were their age--"
>"That's not the same!"
"Of course it's the same, they're growing colts, she's a beautiful filly, they have a dick and she has a puss--"
>"ANON!"
"Don't 'Anon!' me! You're married to the princess of fucking LOVE! You of all ponies should understand this kind of shit--"
>"But we're talking about my little girl here!"
"Well, she's not so little anymore, if you know what I mean,"
>"... what do you mean?"
"Dude, I'm just saying that she takes after her mother, a lot,"
>"... her wings?"
"Ugh, no, I'm not talking about her wings, Shining, I'm talking about her... you know,"
>"... what are you doing with your hands?"
"I'm trying to show you! Look!"
>"I don't get it,"
"God fucking damnit Shining, it's not that hard!"
>"Just tell me what you mean!"
"She's got a real nice badonkadonk,"
>"Badonkawhat?"
"Her trunk is full of junk!"
>"Trunk?! What the hell are you talking about--"
"Her bum! Her tushie! Her derriere!"
>"Wha--"
"Her butt Shining! I'm talking about her butt!"
>"You've been looking at my daughter's butt?!"
"No! I mean, maybe, but by accident! Like, one minute I'm reading a book and the next one there's this huge thing swinging in front of me--"
>"Anon!"
"What?! It's not my fault it takes half of my field of view whenever--"
>"Can you stop talking about my daughter's--"
>"What are you guys talking about??"
"O-oh! Hey Flurry!"
>"N-nothing sweetie! We were just talking about... huh..."
"About how good this saddle look on you!"
>"Dude!"
>"Oh, hehe, thanks~,"

___
>you groan as you wake up, a quick look to the clock next to your bed letting you realize that it is indeed way past noon
>good thing it's a sunday
>as you lay there, images from yesterday night starts flashing by your eyes, and you can't help but grin