bbx

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Subtitles by explosiveskull
akumenang.com

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I love each and
every one of you who have

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supported me over the
years with all my heart.

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It's difficult for me to come
to terms with my diagnosis,

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00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:37,386
but I do know that the
emotional bond we share is real.

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00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:45,493
So while I only have a
few months left to live,

7
00:00:45,495 --> 00:00:49,162
I'm reminded that even though
I've only met a few you

8
00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:53,935
in person, that our time
together has made my life

9
00:00:53,937 --> 00:00:55,872
everything I always
wanted it to be.

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I'm so grateful for all of you,

11
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and I made this flash
to remember you all.

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Fucking cunt.

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What?

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00:01:08,018 --> 00:01:09,683
Laura, I hate her.

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Laura, who is dying of cancer?

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Oh, c'mon, you know
she's just doing it

17
00:01:12,688 --> 00:01:14,588
to get to the top of
the charts for the week.

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She got cancer so she
could get the most views?

19
00:01:17,259 --> 00:01:19,060
Maybe she didn't get
cancer for that reason,

20
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but she's definitely milking it.

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She's going to be
dead in a few months.

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I think you can wait that long

23
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to get back to number
one on str33ker.

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I was number
one for six weeks.

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Seven would have
been a record str33k.

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Well, maybe when
Laura is dead,

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you can get that
str33k started again.

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Shouldn't you be studying for
that exam tomorrow, anyway?

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I have to get
ready for the party.

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You're going, right?

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Do I really have to?

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I really need to study.

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I still don't understand this
taxonomy stuff that well yet.

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Kinky people can
often find good sex.

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That's all you need to remember.

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Ha, ha, very funny,

37
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but I don't think
that's gonna be enough.

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We have to memorize
like 200 plant species.

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I'm sure you can study
wallflowers at the party.

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00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:02,505
Get ready.

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00:02:04,006 --> 00:02:05,206
Whose party is it?

42
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I don't know, some
old guy who still thinks

43
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it's appropriate to be hanging
out with college students.

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Ugh, that's creepy.

45
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It's a Halloween party.

46
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It's supposed to be creepy.

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Hello Bailey Nation,

48
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or Bailey World,
Bailey Universe.

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00:02:28,864 --> 00:02:30,898
We've been number one
for the past five weeks,

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00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,233
and I just wanna thank
all of my awesome fans

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00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:38,071
with, da, da, da, da, a tour
of Hollywood's weirdest!

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Also, I wanna thank
my very, very,

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very unfortunately
short roommate,

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Emma, who's helping
us film today.

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Emma is super studious,

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but I believe she
has a really fun side

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underneath all those
piles of books,

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and when she finds out the
scientific cure for nerdom,

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she'll be having as much
fun as the rest of us.

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Emma, say hi.

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You know, Emma, smiling
doesn't cost you anything.

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00:03:02,097 --> 00:03:04,731
Alright, so let's
see what cannibal

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hobo freaks we can find today.

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So, uh, I know I've been
quiet this entire time,

65
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:08,362
but honestly, I'm just
in shock right now.

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What now?

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Are you dressed
as a, as a poop?

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Yes.

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So you thought it was a good
idea to go to a cool party

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where you're gonna meet new
people dressed as a turd?

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A poop.

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A turd is a poop.

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No, a turd is a specific
type of excrement.

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A poop is more general.

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I am a poop.

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So, you're generally speaking,

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depicting a broad category of
excrement with your costume

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as opposed to a specific,
single type of excrement?

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Yes.

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Okay then, moving on.

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When we get to the party,
if anyone talks to you,

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which I highly doubt because
you're dressed as a turd.

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A poop.

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Whatever, a frickin poop.

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00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,985
Just don't mention anything
about the str33k, okay?

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00:05:03,987 --> 00:05:05,386
Especially if Brayden's there.

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Fine.

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But you can
smile, if you want.

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I don't.

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How 'bout laughing?

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Good enough for a poop.

92
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:30,011
What's up lion buddy?

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00:05:36,251 --> 00:05:41,256
Kinky people
can often find.

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Did you see that poseur
carrot at the party?

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Oh, right.

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Oh, that's her.

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00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,396
Hey, guys.

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00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:52,299
Bailey, I can't believe
you lost your str33k.

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00:05:52,301 --> 00:05:55,102
Oh, yeah, well,
Laura, you know?

100
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She's probably faking it.

101
00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:58,840
Yeah, um, excuse me.

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Did I ever tell you
yellow is my favorite color?

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- This was a fun party.
- Oh, you stink.

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Hi, Bailey.

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Hey, Brayden.

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I'm a little busy.

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Oh, you weren't too
busy to call me every

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single day last week
begging to hang out.

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Well, you had a
str33k then, now.

110
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Oh, now I'm just nobody?

111
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Yeah, pretty much.

112
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You know roses are my thing.

113
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I don't think you own
the legal rights to roses.

114
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I don't think
you own the legal

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rights to being a
fucking dickhead.

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- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

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Well, you're a loser.

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Good one.

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Give me back my key.

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You're finally gonna see
how many bolts you get

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on your flashes when you don't

122
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have a woman doing
everything for you.

123
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Oh, but I'm nobody, right?

124
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Whatever, I got a
flash on the charts.

125
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,302
Oh you do, really?

126
00:07:02,304 --> 00:07:03,537
Mm-hmm.

127
00:07:03,539 --> 00:07:04,705
Is it the one that
I edited and shot,

128
00:07:04,707 --> 00:07:07,343
or the one that I
wrote, edited and shot?

129
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Bye now.

130
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Ugh!

131
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,364
Yeah, so like, whose
lame party is this anyway?

132
00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,568
Do you guys mind,
I'm trying to study!

133
00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,072
Oh, sorry.

134
00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:11,739
Ugh!

135
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:16,746
Kinky people can
often find good sex.

136
00:08:17,612 --> 00:08:18,746
Are you dressed as a turd?

137
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,916
Oh shut up.

138
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Next year I'm dressing
as something more popular.

139
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Bailey!

140
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,963
Bailey!

141
00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:39,867
Bailey!

142
00:08:39,869 --> 00:08:42,969
Bailey!

143
00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:45,939
Bailey!

144
00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:48,041
Bailey!

145
00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:51,547
Bailey!

146
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,083
It's 4 A.M., come
on we have to go.

147
00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,117
Okay, okay, no.

148
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:57,952
Five more minutes.

149
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,620
No come on, get up.

150
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,420
Okay, I'm going, I'm going.

151
00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:02,055
No you can't walk.

152
00:09:02,057 --> 00:09:03,223
No be careful!

153
00:09:03,225 --> 00:09:04,924
No, no, no you're drunk.

154
00:09:04,926 --> 00:09:06,227
No be careful, be careful.

155
00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:08,328
No, no, no, no,
no, no be careful.

156
00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:14,436
What's so funny?

157
00:09:16,071 --> 00:09:17,105
Nothing's funny here.

158
00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:39,459
Come on, you're okay.

159
00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:42,096
I'm so drunk Emma.

160
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,332
I can tell.

161
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,233
I'm really angry
with you right now.

162
00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:48,069
Why?

163
00:09:49,439 --> 00:09:51,307
You know I don't
know how to drive.

164
00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:58,112
Then why are you sitting
in the driver's seat?

165
00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,914
They taught us in health
class in high school

166
00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,281
that it is better
to drive without

167
00:10:01,283 --> 00:10:03,583
a license than it
is to drive drunk.

168
00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:06,388
Oh, I bet you got an
A, miss smarty pants.

169
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,523
I did.

170
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,161
You're gonna fail
that test tomorrow.

171
00:10:14,029 --> 00:10:18,799
Kinky people, something.

172
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,369
Fuck, who cares?

173
00:10:21,571 --> 00:10:23,871
Well, Professor
Vargas probably does.

174
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,772
No she doesn't.

175
00:10:25,774 --> 00:10:28,343
She comments on all my
flashes, she doesn't care.

176
00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,681
Everyone just cares
about flashes, anyway.

177
00:10:33,782 --> 00:10:35,748
That's not true.

178
00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,119
People like you for you.

179
00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:40,656
You don't even like me for me.

180
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:42,424
I do too.

181
00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,228
I liked you before the flashes.

182
00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:49,128
I still like you now.

183
00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:52,665
I just wish you cared about
something other than clicks.

184
00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,602
And I also wish that you
were driving right now

185
00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:56,237
because this is making
me very anxious.

186
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,538
Oh wow, we're
getting real real

187
00:10:57,540 --> 00:10:59,506
in the car right now, okay.

188
00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:01,242
It's a safe space here.

189
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,775
So safe.

190
00:11:02,777 --> 00:11:06,413
Soon we'll be hurling down
the street, out of control.

191
00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,348
We're hurtling down the
street out of control.

192
00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:09,549
Stop, stop!

193
00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:11,484
No, you're not making
me feel any better

194
00:11:11,486 --> 00:11:12,719
about this driving thing.

195
00:11:12,721 --> 00:11:14,221
Okay, then we'll
just stay here then.

196
00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:16,656
Jesus Christ, I
don't give a fuck.

197
00:11:16,658 --> 00:11:18,157
No, I can't do that.

198
00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:20,627
I didn't have any time to
study at that stupid party,

199
00:11:20,629 --> 00:11:21,694
we wasted a ton of time.

200
00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:24,299
Oh that party was so stupid.

201
00:11:25,734 --> 00:11:28,636
Everyone there just liked
me cause I had a str33k.

202
00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:33,107
And now they like Laura
who is dying of cancer.

203
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,407
Whatever, she'll be dead soon,

204
00:11:34,409 --> 00:11:36,077
then everyone will
like me again.

205
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,314
I have a plan.

206
00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:42,016
Okay, am I involved
in this plan somehow?

207
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:42,884
Uh, duh.

208
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:47,223
Well, do you wanna
tell me about it?

209
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,694
In due time my dear.

210
00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:54,663
In due time.

211
00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:04,572
I knew I could get you.

212
00:12:48,117 --> 00:12:50,918
I can't get my key out
if I'm holding you up.

213
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,687
Ugh!

214
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,122
I lost my key.

215
00:12:56,124 --> 00:12:57,323
What do you mean?

216
00:12:57,325 --> 00:12:58,458
I thought you
brought your own key

217
00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:00,196
and you got Brayden's key back.

218
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:01,895
Oh yeah.

219
00:13:01,897 --> 00:13:03,997
Hold on.

220
00:13:03,999 --> 00:13:05,232
Ugh.

221
00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:17,011
Oh, no no no.

222
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,945
Come on.

223
00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:44,170
No, you're fine.

224
00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:45,939
I'm gonna make this
bed for you okay?

225
00:13:45,941 --> 00:13:48,076
Oh no, I don't want it.

226
00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,144
Good night.

227
00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,781
Wait, we need to
say our prayers.

228
00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:55,214
Fine.

229
00:13:55,216 --> 00:13:56,684
Okay you start.

230
00:13:56,686 --> 00:13:59,620
Dear Lord, please
let Bailey go to sleep

231
00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:02,055
and wake up with no
hangover so I don't

232
00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:04,257
have to hear her
complain tomorrow.

233
00:14:04,259 --> 00:14:05,291
Ugh good one.

234
00:14:05,293 --> 00:14:06,760
Okay.

235
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,796
Dear Lord, please do that
thing that Emma said,

236
00:14:09,798 --> 00:14:11,865
and also please give
me the confidence

237
00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:13,766
of a mediocre white
man so I can go

238
00:14:13,768 --> 00:14:16,336
through my life as
brazen as I'd like.

239
00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:17,570
Did you really need that?

240
00:14:17,572 --> 00:14:19,606
Oh and please
make sure that Laura

241
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:23,010
gets better so that
she can stop hogging

242
00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:24,277
the top of the str33ker charts

243
00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,612
and I can get my record
str33k going again.

244
00:14:26,614 --> 00:14:28,348
You're a real saint, Bailey.

245
00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:30,883
No one can say I
don't care about others.

246
00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:31,720
Goodnight.

247
00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:56,075
Like every patriotic American,

248
00:14:56,077 --> 00:14:57,611
you wanna start
your morning right

249
00:14:57,613 --> 00:15:00,848
with delicious, nutritious
toaster pastries.

250
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:04,718
But heating up normal toaster
pastries is such a hassle.

251
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,819
They never fit in the toaster.

252
00:15:06,821 --> 00:15:10,424
Even when they do, they
always come out too cold.

253
00:15:10,426 --> 00:15:11,824
Or too hot.

254
00:15:12,628 --> 00:15:13,861
Well, not anymore.

255
00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:16,530
With new toot strudels
radioactive flavors.

256
00:15:16,532 --> 00:15:18,866
Toot strudels radioactive
flavors use patented

257
00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:20,733
nuclear technology to self heat

258
00:15:20,735 --> 00:15:23,035
to precisely the
right temperature.

259
00:15:23,037 --> 00:15:24,304
Just open the packaging,

260
00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:26,607
exposing the atomic
isotopes to air,

261
00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:30,012
and in seconds your toot
strudels are ready to eat.

262
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,183
Normal toaster pastries get
cold before you can finish them.

263
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,253
Toot strudels stay the perfect
temperature all day long.

264
00:15:40,255 --> 00:15:41,854
Don't spend hours making perfect

265
00:15:41,856 --> 00:15:43,756
toaster pastries for breakfast,

266
00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:45,324
throw away that toaster!

267
00:15:45,326 --> 00:15:49,262
With three toot strudels
fluorescent glow favorites.

268
00:15:49,264 --> 00:15:51,198
Radioactive watermelon!

269
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,232
Atomic eggplant!

270
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,001
And nuclear celery.

271
00:15:55,003 --> 00:15:57,871
And of course, no one can
eat just one toot strudel.

272
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,573
So we put two amazing,

273
00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:02,342
perfectly baked
strudels in every pouch.

274
00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:04,678
That's right, two
perfect temperature

275
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,914
toot strudels in every pouch.

276
00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,582
So you get a double
dose that will set

277
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:11,684
your Geiger counters
clicking every single day.

278
00:16:11,686 --> 00:16:13,820
And don't forget to take
our which toot strudel

279
00:16:13,822 --> 00:16:16,689
are you quiz to find
out if you are cool

280
00:16:16,691 --> 00:16:19,492
and confident like
radioactive watermelon.

281
00:16:19,494 --> 00:16:22,462
Strong and steady,
like nuclear celery.

282
00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:25,600
Or spontaneous and weird,
like atomic eggplant.

283
00:16:29,537 --> 00:16:30,703
Hello!

284
00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:32,707
I am Professor Wolfgang
van Tütstrudel!

285
00:16:33,942 --> 00:16:37,511
The inventor of the
patented toot strudel

286
00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:39,715
self heating toaster pastry.

287
00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:43,049
Join me on November 11th

288
00:16:43,051 --> 00:16:46,285
for National Toaster Pastry Day.

289
00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:50,823
And you could win a lifetime
supply of toot strudels.

290
00:16:50,825 --> 00:16:54,527
That's right, three
square meals a day

291
00:16:54,529 --> 00:16:58,732
of toot strudels for the
rest of your existence.

292
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:03,002
Just upload your best
five bolt flashes

293
00:17:03,004 --> 00:17:05,371
about what toot
strudels mean to you.

294
00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:08,075
And you could be
our lucky winner.

295
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:09,710
Toot strudels!

296
00:17:09,712 --> 00:17:12,779
The official toaster
pastry of str33ker.

297
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,884
There's froot in every toot.

298
00:17:20,555 --> 00:17:22,021
Froot contains no
flavors, colors, pulp,

299
00:17:22,023 --> 00:17:25,994
or other natural derivatives
of fruits or vegetables.

300
00:17:27,295 --> 00:17:32,132
Kinky people can often find

301
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,336
good sex.

302
00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,442
Hey there sleepy head.

303
00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:43,409
That was some party last night.

304
00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:44,344
Shh!

305
00:17:44,346 --> 00:17:46,312
Why do you have to be so loud?

306
00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:47,547
Please.

307
00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:50,751
Um, I was speaking at
normal indoor volume.

308
00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:53,522
Don't try to confuse me
with your flawless logic,

309
00:17:54,122 --> 00:17:55,355
Emma, okay?

310
00:17:55,357 --> 00:17:57,725
I have not seen you
this hungover in awhile.

311
00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,395
I think you had one too many.

312
00:18:01,397 --> 00:18:03,999
Ten too many.

313
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:08,670
Ugh, thank god, I'm starving.

314
00:18:19,514 --> 00:18:23,017
Fine, fine, I'll just
have a glass of water.

315
00:18:27,555 --> 00:18:29,023
Mm, filling.

316
00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:34,161
You know I had the
strangest dream last night?

317
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,896
About what?

318
00:18:35,898 --> 00:18:37,097
You were in the shower.

319
00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:38,030
Perv.

320
00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:39,132
No!

321
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:40,500
Not like that.

322
00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:43,036
Not all sexy and stuff.

323
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,437
Are you saying I'm not sexy?

324
00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:45,840
You know what I mean.

325
00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:50,444
Anyway, you were in the shower.

326
00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:54,681
I saw a face glowing in
the reflection of the door.

327
00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:57,084
It was an evil face.

328
00:18:57,086 --> 00:18:58,751
And then they pulled out a knife

329
00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:01,588
and started stabbing
at you wildly.

330
00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:03,324
You were spitting out blood.

331
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,492
And you reached for the glass

332
00:19:05,494 --> 00:19:08,797
and left a hand print
on it, and then fell.

333
00:19:10,264 --> 00:19:13,367
And the killer was
breathing heavily.

334
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,668
I could hear their heartbeat.

335
00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:20,040
I saw the knife and it
said doppelgänger on it.

336
00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:22,576
Why would the knife
say doppelgänger on it?

337
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,909
I don't know!

338
00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:26,215
That's the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.

339
00:19:27,148 --> 00:19:28,882
I can't control my dreams!

340
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:29,849
Sure you can.

341
00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:31,285
Have better dreams next time.

342
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:40,092
How did you film this?

343
00:19:40,094 --> 00:19:40,928
Film what?

344
00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:44,030
Us coming home last night?

345
00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:46,001
I don't remember
anything from last night.

346
00:19:47,668 --> 00:19:48,836
Take a look at this.

347
00:19:50,872 --> 00:19:52,571
I can't get my key
out if I'm holding you up.

348
00:19:52,573 --> 00:19:56,242
What the fuck?

349
00:19:56,244 --> 00:19:58,177
This is terrifying.

350
00:19:58,179 --> 00:19:59,646
I'm calling the police.

351
00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:00,981
How many views does it have?

352
00:20:00,983 --> 00:20:02,717
I thought
you had your own key

353
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:04,119
and got Brayden's back?

354
00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:06,888
20,000 and rising.

355
00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:09,425
Five bolts?

356
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,926
Five bolts.

357
00:20:13,361 --> 00:20:14,194
Don't worry about it then.

358
00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:15,694
Don't call the police.

359
00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:17,798
It's probably just creepy
Mrs. Wilson from next door.

360
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,066
She's harmless.

361
00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,903
But how did she
get your password?

362
00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:24,136
I don't know,
I'll just change it.

363
00:20:24,138 --> 00:20:24,971
Who cares?

364
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,473
Don't freak out.

365
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,706
I'm too hungover to deal
with it right now, anyway.

366
00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:29,610
Plus it will start
a new str33k for me.

367
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,046
We had better get
to that exam anyway.

368
00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:35,682
Kinky people can
often find good sex.

369
00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:38,617
How could you joke
at a time like this?

370
00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:39,418
Joke?

371
00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:40,221
I'm studying.

372
00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:46,893
Okay class, you
have 15 minutes.

373
00:20:46,895 --> 00:20:49,829
I just want to give
you a little hint

374
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,631
for the classification
taxonomy on number 13.

375
00:21:02,778 --> 00:21:04,113
Shh! Be quiet

376
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,647
I don't know like
90% of this shit.

377
00:21:08,649 --> 00:21:12,753
Shh, knock it off or
you'll flunk us both.

378
00:21:22,664 --> 00:21:24,500
I don't know like
90% of this shit.

379
00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:31,070
Shh, cut it out.

380
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,640
Is there a problem, ladies?

381
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:37,644
Yeah, actually...

382
00:21:37,646 --> 00:21:40,113
No, no, not at all,
Professor Vargas.

383
00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:42,449
Bailey just needed
to borrow a pencil.

384
00:21:42,451 --> 00:21:47,287
Very well, just remember
there's no talking during exams.

385
00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:49,255
Yes, Professor, of course.

386
00:21:49,257 --> 00:21:50,557
And both of you come and see

387
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,528
me in my office after the exam.

388
00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:23,792
Fuck.

389
00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:29,828
I'm very disappointed,
especially in you, Emma.

390
00:22:29,830 --> 00:22:31,565
- I...
- Don't I.

391
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,399
You should know
better than to ask

392
00:22:33,401 --> 00:22:35,868
Bailey for answers
during an exam.

393
00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:37,136
But you don't...

394
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:40,440
No, now Bailey,
I am so sorry that

395
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,742
you have to be a party
to this dishonesty.

396
00:22:43,744 --> 00:22:48,280
Let me present you with this
rose as a token of gratitude.

397
00:22:48,282 --> 00:22:49,883
- Thank you.
- Mmhmm.

398
00:22:49,885 --> 00:22:52,484
Professor Vargas, please
don't be too hard on her.

399
00:22:52,486 --> 00:22:53,787
She's really a good kid,

400
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,088
and it's just hard
being my roommate

401
00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:57,624
with all the attention.

402
00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,291
I could only imagine.

403
00:22:59,293 --> 00:23:02,729
You know, your last
str33k was wonderful work.

404
00:23:02,731 --> 00:23:04,530
It's just I'm so sorry that that

405
00:23:04,532 --> 00:23:07,233
cancerous bitch
knocked you down.

406
00:23:07,235 --> 00:23:08,167
Well thank you
Professor Vargas.

407
00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:09,603
Oh no, you don't deserve it.

408
00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:11,037
Call me Harriet.

409
00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:13,473
- Oh, thank you, Harriet.
- Yes, thank you.

410
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:14,741
Oh, cancer is hard to beat.

411
00:23:14,743 --> 00:23:17,409
Well, you can do it,
I have faith in you.

412
00:23:17,411 --> 00:23:19,511
I hope so, I think I can.

413
00:23:19,513 --> 00:23:22,350
Oh, I know you can,
I enjoy your work.

414
00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:25,719
She's so nice, isn't she?

415
00:23:25,721 --> 00:23:27,220
She, but she.

416
00:23:27,222 --> 00:23:29,222
I just wish all my professors
were that understanding.

417
00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:31,760
Hey, hey, um you
left my rose behind.

418
00:23:33,061 --> 00:23:34,828
So I did.

419
00:23:46,308 --> 00:23:50,777
So is it just me or was that
test, like, mostly pointless?

420
00:23:50,779 --> 00:23:52,511
Eh, it's just you.

421
00:23:52,513 --> 00:23:56,950
Yeah, like I said, Dr.
Vargas does not give a shit.

422
00:23:56,952 --> 00:23:57,916
Oh, God, don't look.

423
00:23:57,918 --> 00:23:59,618
It's that creeper, Mrs. Wilson.

424
00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:01,855
Hi girls, hi Bailey.

425
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:02,688
I loved your latest flash.

426
00:24:02,690 --> 00:24:03,857
Hi Mrs. Wilson.

427
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:04,691
Don't, don't, don't, don't.

428
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:05,524
Bye.

429
00:24:05,526 --> 00:24:06,358
What are you doing?

430
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,193
Don't talk to her.

431
00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:08,127
Why?

432
00:24:08,129 --> 00:24:08,927
She gave me 500 thousand views.

433
00:24:08,929 --> 00:24:09,697
If that was her.

434
00:24:11,233 --> 00:24:12,699
No, she's really creepy, I...

435
00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,603
Don't talk to her,
I don't trust her.

436
00:24:19,308 --> 00:24:20,540
Will you fail the
next test on purpose

437
00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,142
so that we can stay
in class together?

438
00:24:22,144 --> 00:24:24,511
Well, why don't you actually
try studying for once,

439
00:24:24,513 --> 00:24:26,514
and then we can stay
in class together.

440
00:24:27,616 --> 00:24:28,617
Nah, too annoying.

441
00:24:29,984 --> 00:24:30,916
Know what I've been thinking?

442
00:24:30,918 --> 00:24:33,185
Uh oh, you've been thinking?

443
00:24:33,187 --> 00:24:36,123
I know, it's painful, but
once in a while a neuron fires.

444
00:24:39,261 --> 00:24:42,662
I was thinking, why do
I even need college?

445
00:24:42,664 --> 00:24:44,164
What?

446
00:24:44,166 --> 00:24:46,465
I mean, I'm a junior,
and I'm still undeclared,

447
00:24:46,467 --> 00:24:48,702
and I don't really
care about much.

448
00:24:48,704 --> 00:24:52,338
I'm making awesome flashes
that get five bolts,

449
00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:54,107
that's what I'm good at.

450
00:24:54,109 --> 00:24:57,277
Bailey, you can't be serious?

451
00:24:57,279 --> 00:24:58,845
Why not?

452
00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:00,413
Bailey, are you crazy?

453
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:03,215
You can't make a
living off of str33ker.

454
00:25:03,217 --> 00:25:05,117
But I'm famous.

455
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,854
Bailey, you're
internet famous,

456
00:25:07,856 --> 00:25:10,723
not even internet famous,
but str33ker famous.

457
00:25:10,725 --> 00:25:12,925
Str33ker famous
and famous are two

458
00:25:12,927 --> 00:25:14,260
completely different things.

459
00:25:14,262 --> 00:25:15,561
You're being such
a bitch right now.

460
00:25:15,563 --> 00:25:17,431
I got five million
views just today.

461
00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:21,734
Yeah, of that guy
stalking you from outside.

462
00:25:21,736 --> 00:25:23,036
You have to think
about your future.

463
00:25:23,038 --> 00:25:24,436
I am thinking about my future.

464
00:25:24,438 --> 00:25:26,006
This is why I'm bringing it up.

465
00:25:27,175 --> 00:25:29,174
Wait, how do you
know it was a guy?

466
00:25:29,176 --> 00:25:30,643
That's sexist.

467
00:25:30,645 --> 00:25:32,511
Okay, I don't know
it was a guy, but...

468
00:25:32,513 --> 00:25:35,714
Okay, well, girls stalk
people too, sometimes.

469
00:25:35,716 --> 00:25:37,216
Okay, fine.

470
00:25:37,218 --> 00:25:38,417
Well, you need to think
about your future in case,

471
00:25:38,419 --> 00:25:40,587
the guy or girl stalker
doesn't murder you.

472
00:25:40,589 --> 00:25:42,555
What, so I can earn 70 cents

473
00:25:42,557 --> 00:25:44,790
to the dollar and
hit a glass ceiling?

474
00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:47,327
No one takes me seriously, Emma.

475
00:25:47,329 --> 00:25:49,028
Well, maybe if you
didn't act the way you act.

476
00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:50,562
How do I act?

477
00:25:50,564 --> 00:25:51,832
- The way you act...
- I what?

478
00:25:52,967 --> 00:25:55,467
Never mind, never mind.

479
00:25:55,469 --> 00:25:57,537
You're just twisting my words.

480
00:25:57,539 --> 00:25:59,539
You're too smart to
not be taken seriously.

481
00:25:59,541 --> 00:26:02,341
Okay, well maybe too
smart to get a normal job,

482
00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:05,110
and too smart to
lead a normal life.

483
00:26:05,112 --> 00:26:07,213
If I were dumber,
you'd be happier,

484
00:26:07,215 --> 00:26:09,449
then I could just be safe
and do the safe thing,

485
00:26:09,451 --> 00:26:10,716
is that what you're
asking me to do?

486
00:26:10,718 --> 00:26:12,452
Yeah, that's probably
what you should do,

487
00:26:12,454 --> 00:26:15,387
but you make it sound so bad.

488
00:26:15,389 --> 00:26:17,557
You're sounding
like a crazy person.

489
00:26:17,559 --> 00:26:20,527
You can't just sit around
making videos all day,

490
00:26:20,529 --> 00:26:21,728
not for a living.

491
00:26:21,730 --> 00:26:23,328
There are other
popular internet stars

492
00:26:23,330 --> 00:26:25,264
that you know that
make plenty of money.

493
00:26:25,266 --> 00:26:26,465
What's your point?

494
00:26:26,467 --> 00:26:27,934
My point is, I thought
you were my friend.

495
00:26:27,936 --> 00:26:29,202
What's that supposed to mean?

496
00:26:29,204 --> 00:26:30,970
It means you're
supposed to support me.

497
00:26:30,972 --> 00:26:32,938
I do support you,
that's why I'm always

498
00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,473
helping you make
your stupid videos.

499
00:26:34,475 --> 00:26:35,308
Stupid?

500
00:26:35,310 --> 00:26:37,342
They're flashes!

501
00:26:37,344 --> 00:26:39,111
That's not what I
meant, what I meant was...

502
00:26:39,113 --> 00:26:41,013
I know what you
meant, alright.

503
00:26:41,015 --> 00:26:42,281
No, hear me out.

504
00:26:42,283 --> 00:26:43,782
No, you said, you
said too much, dude.

505
00:26:43,784 --> 00:26:47,619
Just go get me my
sweatshirt, I'm cold.

506
00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:00,633
Bailey, did you
leave a grenade

507
00:27:00,635 --> 00:27:02,635
in your underwear this morning?

508
00:27:02,637 --> 00:27:04,503
Why?

509
00:27:04,505 --> 00:27:06,140
They're all over the floor.

510
00:27:46,013 --> 00:27:47,614
Aren't you freaking out?

511
00:27:47,616 --> 00:27:48,947
This your idea of a joke?

512
00:27:48,949 --> 00:27:50,517
What do you mean?

513
00:27:50,519 --> 00:27:52,151
You just told me to
stop making flashes,

514
00:27:52,153 --> 00:27:54,654
and then my most recent
one gets sabotaged?

515
00:27:54,656 --> 00:27:57,223
Bailey, that is not me
tossing your underwear around.

516
00:27:57,225 --> 00:27:58,724
I know it's not you, Emma.

517
00:27:58,726 --> 00:28:00,592
You're short as fuck, and
you're with me all day.

518
00:28:00,594 --> 00:28:04,030
My point, so what exactly
am I getting blamed for here?

519
00:28:04,032 --> 00:28:05,330
Who'd you get to do it?

520
00:28:05,332 --> 00:28:06,732
Who'd I get to do what?

521
00:28:06,734 --> 00:28:08,902
Come into your room
and act all creepy?

522
00:28:08,904 --> 00:28:10,403
Right, who?

523
00:28:10,405 --> 00:28:11,538
I know I'm your only friend,

524
00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:13,241
so did you hire someone or what?

525
00:28:14,676 --> 00:28:16,576
Okay, first of all, you
are not my only friend.

526
00:28:16,578 --> 00:28:17,409
Yes I am.

527
00:28:17,411 --> 00:28:18,877
No, you're not!

528
00:28:18,879 --> 00:28:21,481
Second of all, why on earth
would I hire someone to do this?

529
00:28:21,483 --> 00:28:23,616
You just told me to
stop making flashes.

530
00:28:23,618 --> 00:28:24,850
I did not.

531
00:28:24,852 --> 00:28:26,552
I said you could not
do this for a living.

532
00:28:26,554 --> 00:28:27,486
Ugh!

533
00:28:27,488 --> 00:28:28,687
You only hear what you want.

534
00:28:28,689 --> 00:28:30,322
You said what I heard,
you told me to stop.

535
00:28:30,324 --> 00:28:31,723
If I really
wanted you to stop,

536
00:28:31,725 --> 00:28:33,559
this is not how I would do it.

537
00:28:33,561 --> 00:28:35,427
I'm always helping you with
your flashes all the time.

538
00:28:35,429 --> 00:28:37,599
Did you ever stop
to think about that?

539
00:28:38,832 --> 00:28:41,733
No, I guess I hadn't
thought about that.

540
00:28:41,735 --> 00:28:43,036
Right, I've been helping you

541
00:28:43,038 --> 00:28:45,271
with your channel since day one.

542
00:28:45,273 --> 00:28:46,705
Okay, well if it's not you,

543
00:28:46,707 --> 00:28:48,508
then who's trying
to sabotage me?

544
00:28:48,510 --> 00:28:50,209
I think the better
question would be how did

545
00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:52,811
this person get into
your room to film this?

546
00:28:52,813 --> 00:28:53,980
Should we call the cops?

547
00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:55,048
Yes, I'll call.

548
00:28:55,050 --> 00:28:55,982
No, no, no, no.

549
00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,649
What do you mean, no, no, no?

550
00:28:57,651 --> 00:28:59,652
I should call, it's
my underwear and I don't

551
00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:01,486
want you to make it sound
unsexy or something.

552
00:29:01,488 --> 00:29:02,355
Really?

553
00:29:02,357 --> 00:29:03,556
Yeah, really.

554
00:29:03,558 --> 00:29:05,258
Fine, you make
the call, but do it!

555
00:29:05,260 --> 00:29:07,762
Okay.

556
00:29:08,629 --> 00:29:10,128
Um, the number is 911.

557
00:29:10,130 --> 00:29:12,030
I'm getting there, Emma.

558
00:29:14,468 --> 00:29:16,836
This is my new roommate Emma.

559
00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,540
We just moved in together today.

560
00:29:19,541 --> 00:29:20,906
I met her on the Str33ker forums

561
00:29:20,908 --> 00:29:22,709
and we love all the same things.

562
00:29:22,711 --> 00:29:24,042
Also, we're both
beautiful and smart.

563
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,358
What's going on?

564
00:29:39,994 --> 00:29:42,664
Alright, looks like
the coast is clear.

565
00:29:43,798 --> 00:29:46,965
Yes, thanks for your bravery.

566
00:29:46,967 --> 00:29:48,268
All in the line of duty.

567
00:29:49,937 --> 00:29:51,838
Haven't I seen you
somewhere before?

568
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,240
I don't know,
were you in 'Nam?

569
00:29:54,242 --> 00:29:55,441
What?

570
00:29:55,443 --> 00:29:56,876
No.

571
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,980
Neither was I, so we
probably didn't meet there.

572
00:29:59,914 --> 00:30:02,447
Um, okay, not important.

573
00:30:02,449 --> 00:30:03,649
Look somebody broke...

574
00:30:03,651 --> 00:30:04,450
Look, guys I gotta
take a breather,

575
00:30:04,452 --> 00:30:05,917
I gotta take a breather.

576
00:30:05,919 --> 00:30:08,322
Come fill me in, alright,
just come fill me in.

577
00:30:13,628 --> 00:30:15,828
Somebody broke into our
apartment and made a video

578
00:30:15,830 --> 00:30:17,496
while we were on
campus for class.

579
00:30:17,498 --> 00:30:19,866
A flash, a flash,
it's called a flash.

580
00:30:19,868 --> 00:30:21,600
- A flash?
- Yeah.

581
00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:22,734
What?

582
00:30:22,736 --> 00:30:23,571
A flash.

583
00:30:25,005 --> 00:30:26,271
A video.

584
00:30:26,273 --> 00:30:27,773
Whatever, someone came
in and played 52 pickup

585
00:30:27,775 --> 00:30:30,576
with my underwear, which
is very sexy, I might add.

586
00:30:30,578 --> 00:30:32,110
Write that down,
write that down.

587
00:30:32,112 --> 00:30:34,379
He doesn't care if your
underwear is sexy or not.

588
00:30:34,381 --> 00:30:36,982
Look, I am here to get to
the bottom of this, I mean.

589
00:30:36,984 --> 00:30:41,889
Um, you have some,
um, on your hat.

590
00:30:43,390 --> 00:30:45,390
Oh, so I do.

591
00:30:45,392 --> 00:30:47,894
Look, I'm here to
gather clues, okay?

592
00:30:47,896 --> 00:30:49,962
If the underwear
being sexy is a clue,

593
00:30:49,964 --> 00:30:51,563
I need to know about it.

594
00:30:51,565 --> 00:30:55,568
It's not a clue really,
Bailey has a stalker.

595
00:30:55,570 --> 00:30:56,536
I'm sure this is the first time

596
00:30:56,538 --> 00:30:58,236
the stalker saw her underwear.

597
00:30:58,238 --> 00:30:59,338
Are you sure?

598
00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:01,941
I don't display my underwear.

599
00:31:01,943 --> 00:31:04,743
Very well, you
know this may be

600
00:31:04,745 --> 00:31:06,945
some kind of a desperate attempt

601
00:31:06,947 --> 00:31:09,382
to get a closer look
at your underwear,

602
00:31:09,384 --> 00:31:12,819
by some kind of a
pervert or something.

603
00:31:12,821 --> 00:31:16,021
I think that's the kind of
thing perverts are into.

604
00:31:16,023 --> 00:31:19,959
Yes, perverts, I think
we've made that clear.

605
00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:22,595
Bailey has a stalker.

606
00:31:22,597 --> 00:31:24,830
Can't you dust for
fingerprints or something?

607
00:31:24,832 --> 00:31:26,132
Anyone ever tell
you to smile more?

608
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,366
Smile?

609
00:31:27,368 --> 00:31:28,501
Our apartment just
got broken into,

610
00:31:28,503 --> 00:31:30,069
and you want me to smile?

611
00:31:30,071 --> 00:31:31,872
Well, I mean...

612
00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:34,973
Can't you dust
for fingerprints?

613
00:31:34,975 --> 00:31:36,642
Fingerprints?

614
00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:40,749
Yes, um, I just need my
fingerprints kit from the car.

615
00:31:42,149 --> 00:31:44,450
You know, I would
dust for fingerprints,

616
00:31:44,452 --> 00:31:45,818
I just don't think fingerprints

617
00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:48,186
are gonna show up on underwear.

618
00:31:48,188 --> 00:31:50,123
You know, I'm actually
kinda new to this part.

619
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,357
This is actually my first case.

620
00:31:51,359 --> 00:31:53,225
First case?

621
00:31:53,227 --> 00:31:56,596
Yeah well, I had a
desk job before, kind of.

622
00:31:56,598 --> 00:31:59,598
But, I never dusted underwear

623
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,234
or anything else,
for fingerprints.

624
00:32:02,236 --> 00:32:04,872
I don't want dust all over
my underwear anyway, so.

625
00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:10,242
Look, you say
you're in college?

626
00:32:10,244 --> 00:32:12,411
Right, I'm gonna
chalk this one up to

627
00:32:12,413 --> 00:32:15,248
a stupid prank among
college students.

628
00:32:15,250 --> 00:32:17,215
Somebody broke
into our apartment,

629
00:32:17,217 --> 00:32:18,684
this is your first case...

630
00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:20,252
Yeah, yeah, look, was there
any sign of forced entry?

631
00:32:20,254 --> 00:32:21,087
No, but...

632
00:32:21,089 --> 00:32:22,355
Was anything stolen?

633
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,357
No, all my sexy
underwear is here.

634
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:29,364
Alright, take my card,
it's got my direct line.

635
00:32:30,231 --> 00:32:31,463
You notice anything missing,

636
00:32:31,465 --> 00:32:33,933
anything else out of
the ordinary happens,

637
00:32:33,935 --> 00:32:36,702
don't hesitate to
call me, don't wait.

638
00:32:36,704 --> 00:32:38,406
For now, there's
nothing I can do.

639
00:32:39,808 --> 00:32:43,475
Do you want me to take your
underwear into evidence?

640
00:32:43,477 --> 00:32:45,677
No, I'll hold onto
that, thank you though.

641
00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,180
Yeah, what if she wants to run

642
00:32:47,182 --> 00:32:48,446
for President some
day or something?

643
00:32:48,448 --> 00:32:49,816
Emma, this country
is never gonna let

644
00:32:49,818 --> 00:32:52,052
a woman even mention
underwear, be President.

645
00:32:53,353 --> 00:32:55,954
Look, I'm sorry
I couldn't do more.

646
00:32:55,956 --> 00:32:57,690
It's okay, don't
worry about it.

647
00:32:57,692 --> 00:33:00,158
Yeah, thanks for coming by.

648
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,495
No problem, look, you
girls stay safe, okay?

649
00:33:03,497 --> 00:33:05,463
Make sure to look that
door and do something

650
00:33:05,465 --> 00:33:08,367
you like to keep your
mind off of this.

651
00:33:08,369 --> 00:33:10,237
Laughter is really
the best medicine.

652
00:33:21,182 --> 00:33:24,916
We're not sick!

653
00:33:24,918 --> 00:33:26,051
The following flash has been

654
00:33:26,053 --> 00:33:28,553
brought to you by toot strudels,

655
00:33:28,555 --> 00:33:31,156
the official toaster
pastry of str33ker.

656
00:33:31,158 --> 00:33:34,159
There's froot in every toot.

657
00:33:34,161 --> 00:33:35,627
Froot contains no
flavors, colors, pulp,

658
00:33:35,629 --> 00:33:37,530
or other natural derivatives
of fruits or vegetables.

659
00:33:37,532 --> 00:33:38,630
Hey guys, you're
watching Brayden's

660
00:33:38,632 --> 00:33:41,733
str33ker workout video, oh yeah!

661
00:33:59,052 --> 00:34:01,087
Oh yeah!

662
00:34:54,174 --> 00:34:59,179
Emma, Emma, Emma,

663
00:35:00,581 --> 00:35:05,284
Emma, Emma!

664
00:35:05,286 --> 00:35:06,485
What is it?

665
00:35:06,487 --> 00:35:08,286
Can you sleep with
me tonight, I'm scared.

666
00:35:08,288 --> 00:35:12,192
Fine.

667
00:35:29,444 --> 00:35:31,811
What the?

668
00:35:31,813 --> 00:35:34,315
Emma, are you dreaming again?

669
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,555
What?

670
00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:26,253
I'm thirsty, I'm gonna
get something to drink.

671
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,905
So let me get this straight.

672
00:39:20,907 --> 00:39:22,608
The man came back
and attacked you?

673
00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:25,076
You watched the video.

674
00:39:25,078 --> 00:39:27,212
Yeah, well, I'm not
totally sure what I saw,

675
00:39:27,214 --> 00:39:29,047
it's kinda dark, but uh,

676
00:39:29,049 --> 00:39:32,016
he didn't hurt you,
and instead ran off?

677
00:39:32,018 --> 00:39:34,152
Well, yeah, yeah.

678
00:39:34,154 --> 00:39:35,055
And you're okay?

679
00:39:36,190 --> 00:39:38,389
Not emotionally, but...

680
00:39:38,391 --> 00:39:40,194
Nothing's been stolen?

681
00:39:41,362 --> 00:39:44,829
No, but officer,
he tried to grab me.

682
00:39:44,831 --> 00:39:49,567
Fine, fine, look the
best I can offer is,

683
00:39:49,569 --> 00:39:51,369
I'll station myself
outside the building,

684
00:39:51,371 --> 00:39:53,074
and I'll keep an
eye on the place.

685
00:39:55,342 --> 00:39:57,610
I'm calling someone else!

686
00:39:57,612 --> 00:40:01,012
Officer could you just give
us like, one minute please?

687
00:40:01,014 --> 00:40:03,882
Sure, but don't
call someone else,

688
00:40:03,884 --> 00:40:05,253
I'm the guy, okay?

689
00:40:07,788 --> 00:40:11,690
Um, would you mind just like,
stepping out for a second?

690
00:40:11,692 --> 00:40:13,494
Right, yeah.

691
00:40:14,962 --> 00:40:16,161
Look, I know he's
a little weird.

692
00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:17,630
A little weird?!

693
00:40:17,632 --> 00:40:18,566
Shh, Emma, shh.

694
00:40:19,699 --> 00:40:20,632
A little weird?

695
00:40:20,634 --> 00:40:22,601
He has no idea what he's doing.

696
00:40:22,603 --> 00:40:23,835
Okay, but didn't he say it was

697
00:40:23,837 --> 00:40:25,971
like his first
case or something?

698
00:40:25,973 --> 00:40:27,172
I'm right here if you need me.

699
00:40:27,174 --> 00:40:28,940
Yep, just one
more minute, please.

700
00:40:28,942 --> 00:40:30,977
Yep, yep, yep, good, thanks.

701
00:40:32,045 --> 00:40:33,512
See?

702
00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:35,583
Okay, but it's his first
case, we can't get him fired.

703
00:40:36,884 --> 00:40:38,250
I'm a little
bit more concerned

704
00:40:38,252 --> 00:40:39,652
about one of us ending up dead,

705
00:40:39,654 --> 00:40:40,819
than him getting fired.

706
00:40:40,821 --> 00:40:43,655
Emma, relax, alright?

707
00:40:43,657 --> 00:40:45,958
Besides, that flash of you
almost getting kidnapped,

708
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,626
has 20 million views and
a perfect bolt score.

709
00:40:48,628 --> 00:40:49,895
What!

710
00:40:49,897 --> 00:40:52,667
You're so popular,
Emma, like so popular.

711
00:40:54,335 --> 00:40:56,802
What the hell
is wrong with you?

712
00:40:56,804 --> 00:40:59,404
You're almost as
popular as I am.

713
00:40:59,406 --> 00:41:03,041
Great, just great.

714
00:41:03,043 --> 00:41:04,842
Just give him one more chance.

715
00:41:04,844 --> 00:41:06,078
One more, please?

716
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:06,980
Fine!

717
00:41:08,181 --> 00:41:10,882
But I am not happy about this.

718
00:41:10,884 --> 00:41:13,486
Guys, I'm uh,
still right here.

719
00:41:15,022 --> 00:41:17,056
Officer, thank you so much,

720
00:41:17,058 --> 00:41:19,190
we really, really
appreciate this.

721
00:41:19,192 --> 00:41:20,726
Don't mention it.

722
00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,862
Look, I'll just be right out
here in the unmarked white van,

723
00:41:23,864 --> 00:41:26,197
so just call if you need me,
and I'll come running right up.

724
00:41:26,199 --> 00:41:28,032
Got hearing like an elephant.

725
00:41:28,034 --> 00:41:30,902
Aren't elephants more
known for their memory?

726
00:41:30,904 --> 00:41:32,170
What'd you say?

727
00:41:32,172 --> 00:41:33,006
Never mind.

728
00:41:36,944 --> 00:41:39,480
That guy is a complete loon.

729
00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:44,752
Our lives are in his hands.

730
00:41:45,618 --> 00:41:47,820
Great, just great.

731
00:41:47,822 --> 00:41:49,688
Come on, I want to
go buy some pretzels.

732
00:41:49,690 --> 00:41:50,521
Now?

733
00:41:50,523 --> 00:41:51,757
Yeah, I'm hungry.

734
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:54,293
Fine, I'll get
us some knives too.

735
00:41:54,295 --> 00:41:56,094
Why not guns?

736
00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:58,364
I would never shoot anyone.

737
00:41:58,366 --> 00:42:00,167
But you would stab them?

738
00:42:02,036 --> 00:42:03,601
Well, no.

739
00:42:03,603 --> 00:42:05,904
What if someone
were hurting you?

740
00:42:05,906 --> 00:42:09,907
I'd ask them politely to
stop until they stopped.

741
00:42:09,909 --> 00:42:12,043
And you think that would work?

742
00:42:12,045 --> 00:42:13,277
Sure.

743
00:42:13,279 --> 00:42:14,346
- Because you're cute.
- Because I'm cute.

744
00:42:14,348 --> 00:42:15,547
Oh my...

745
00:42:15,549 --> 00:42:16,815
And what if someone
were hurting me?

746
00:42:16,817 --> 00:42:18,550
I'd ask them politely to...

747
00:42:18,552 --> 00:42:19,684
Keep going?

748
00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:22,353
Probably, yeah.

749
00:42:22,355 --> 00:42:23,454
Cute.

750
00:42:23,456 --> 00:42:25,157
I am cute.

751
00:42:25,159 --> 00:42:26,991
Remember that one time
you couldn't even kill

752
00:42:26,993 --> 00:42:28,761
that mouse that was
caught in a trap.

753
00:42:28,763 --> 00:42:31,396
I couldn't kill
it, it was so cute.

754
00:42:31,398 --> 00:42:34,532
It was suffering, you just
want to let it die slowly?

755
00:42:34,534 --> 00:42:36,869
I told you, I cannot
kill a living thing.

756
00:42:36,871 --> 00:42:38,103
Oh my god.

757
00:42:38,105 --> 00:42:39,404
I couldn't then,
and I can't now.

758
00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:46,147
How To Eat Like A
Lady With Mrs. Wilson.

759
00:42:47,614 --> 00:42:51,217
Here it comes, mmm,

760
00:42:53,186 --> 00:42:54,087
yum, mmhmm.

761
00:42:55,656 --> 00:42:58,692
Mm mm mm so good mmhmm,

762
00:43:00,460 --> 00:43:02,027
that's it.

763
00:43:02,029 --> 00:43:03,397
Great job, mmhmm.

764
00:43:04,931 --> 00:43:09,235
This has been How To Eat
Like A Lady With Mrs. Wilson.

765
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:11,172
That's me!

766
00:43:25,685 --> 00:43:27,453
I'm really worried.

767
00:43:27,455 --> 00:43:30,221
You've been really worried
for the past 21 years.

768
00:43:30,223 --> 00:43:31,956
I'm only 20.

769
00:43:31,958 --> 00:43:33,592
Yeah, you were
worried in the womb.

770
00:43:33,594 --> 00:43:35,092
You were conceived and
you started worrying

771
00:43:35,094 --> 00:43:37,029
before you even
divided into two cells.

772
00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:38,663
Very funny.

773
00:43:38,665 --> 00:43:41,032
It's not a joke,
your first cell

774
00:43:41,034 --> 00:43:42,500
was probably an adrenal cell,

775
00:43:42,502 --> 00:43:46,003
and then you started producing
cortisol before mitosis.

776
00:43:46,005 --> 00:43:49,174
I thought you didn't
study for biology class.

777
00:43:49,176 --> 00:43:50,641
Kinky people.

778
00:43:50,643 --> 00:43:52,744
It's not related to cortisol.

779
00:43:52,746 --> 00:43:55,648
I know, but it seems to get
you really stressed out, so.

780
00:43:57,351 --> 00:44:00,384
At least we have our new
doppelgänger knives now.

781
00:44:00,386 --> 00:44:01,920
So, which one of
us is evil, then?

782
00:44:01,922 --> 00:44:03,422
Huh?

783
00:44:03,424 --> 00:44:06,291
A doppelgänger means an
evil mirror image of a person,

784
00:44:06,293 --> 00:44:08,659
so, one of us has to be evil.

785
00:44:08,661 --> 00:44:10,829
I mean, I guess it
has to be me, because.

786
00:44:10,831 --> 00:44:12,833
I think I'm the evil one.

787
00:44:13,868 --> 00:44:16,168
You, Miss Goody-two-shoes?

788
00:44:16,170 --> 00:44:17,369
Evil?

789
00:44:17,371 --> 00:44:18,839
You don't know
what's in my heart.

790
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,639
I'm sure a heart
full of darkness,

791
00:44:21,641 --> 00:44:25,444
just waiting to show me your
true self at any moment.

792
00:44:25,446 --> 00:44:27,311
Yeah, yeah, whatever.

793
00:44:27,313 --> 00:44:29,884
Really though, you
drive me crazy.

794
00:44:31,217 --> 00:44:33,018
You are one of the smartest
people I know and...

795
00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:34,619
What?

796
00:44:34,621 --> 00:44:36,221
Well, you don't care.

797
00:44:36,223 --> 00:44:37,188
Why should I care?

798
00:44:37,190 --> 00:44:38,924
No one cares if I'm smart,

799
00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:41,058
all they care about is
if I'm making funny faces

800
00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:42,895
while I'm interviewing
Hollywood's weirdest,

801
00:44:42,897 --> 00:44:45,998
or if I'm making a makeup
tutorial or something.

802
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,232
Doesn't that bother you?

803
00:44:47,234 --> 00:44:50,168
No, that's your problem, Emma.

804
00:44:50,170 --> 00:44:51,904
You think too small,

805
00:44:51,906 --> 00:44:53,971
you think that you need
to follow the rules.

806
00:44:53,973 --> 00:44:55,607
You think that there
even are rules,

807
00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:58,543
and no one cares
about rules, only you.

808
00:44:58,545 --> 00:45:02,146
Fine, I guess I'll loosen
up a little bit then.

809
00:45:02,148 --> 00:45:03,348
Now we're talking.

810
00:45:03,350 --> 00:45:05,219
Here, have a pretzel.

811
00:45:08,656 --> 00:45:09,587
Good, right?

812
00:45:09,589 --> 00:45:10,723
Mm yeah, it's pretty good.

813
00:45:11,891 --> 00:45:14,125
Maybe we should
go to class now.

814
00:45:14,127 --> 00:45:15,860
Dressed like this?

815
00:45:15,862 --> 00:45:18,264
No one cares, and we're
dissecting people today.

816
00:45:19,299 --> 00:45:20,732
Oooo.

817
00:45:20,734 --> 00:45:24,505
Once the blood is
drained from the cadaver,

818
00:45:27,273 --> 00:45:31,712
and is preserved
with embalming fluid,

819
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:39,552
the body remains
completely flexible

820
00:45:40,621 --> 00:45:42,954
and intact.

821
00:45:42,956 --> 00:45:45,857
Smells a little like vinegar,
doesn't it?

822
00:45:47,627 --> 00:45:51,596
And ba bum bum!

823
00:45:52,433 --> 00:45:53,599
The heart.

824
00:45:53,601 --> 00:45:54,435
Awesome.

825
00:46:07,114 --> 00:46:10,583
I guess Emma wanted to
get a slightly closer look.

826
00:46:11,618 --> 00:46:12,619
Take five.

827
00:46:15,688 --> 00:46:20,694
Emma, Emma, Emma.

828
00:46:21,295 --> 00:46:21,960
Hi Bailey.

829
00:46:21,962 --> 00:46:23,395
Do you mind?

830
00:46:23,397 --> 00:46:24,998
Uh, I'm sorry.

831
00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:27,165
Ohh.

832
00:46:27,167 --> 00:46:28,333
You okay?

833
00:46:28,335 --> 00:46:29,400
What happened?

834
00:46:29,402 --> 00:46:31,335
Oof, long story, dude.

835
00:46:31,337 --> 00:46:32,570
No, I'm just kidding,

836
00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:33,505
it's actually not a
long story at all.

837
00:46:33,507 --> 00:46:35,206
Uh, you fainted and fell face

838
00:46:35,208 --> 00:46:36,974
first into a dead
person's abdomen.

839
00:46:36,976 --> 00:46:41,982
Ohh, I hate when
that happens.

840
00:46:42,850 --> 00:46:43,815
The following flash has been

841
00:46:43,817 --> 00:46:46,284
brought to you by toot strudels.

842
00:46:46,286 --> 00:46:48,887
The official toaster
pastry of str33ker.

843
00:46:48,889 --> 00:46:51,822
There's froot in every toot.

844
00:46:51,824 --> 00:46:53,291
Froot contains no
flavors, colors, pulp,

845
00:46:53,293 --> 00:46:54,659
or other natural derivatives
of fruits or vegetables.

846
00:46:56,730 --> 00:46:57,962
Hi!

847
00:46:57,964 --> 00:46:59,530
Do you ever wake up in
the morning, think boy,

848
00:46:59,532 --> 00:47:02,166
I wish I could
poop, but I can't.

849
00:47:02,168 --> 00:47:03,300
I drank a whole gallon of coffee

850
00:47:03,302 --> 00:47:04,703
and it's just not coming out.

851
00:47:04,705 --> 00:47:07,005
Not anymore with toot strudels.

852
00:47:07,007 --> 00:47:08,306
It'll make your bowels so soft,

853
00:47:08,308 --> 00:47:10,108
it'll just flow
right out your butt,

854
00:47:10,110 --> 00:47:11,375
straight in the toilet.

855
00:47:11,377 --> 00:47:12,476
I don't even have
to wait sometimes.

856
00:47:12,478 --> 00:47:13,712
Sometimes I'm rushing out there

857
00:47:13,714 --> 00:47:15,313
and I'm already turtling.

858
00:47:15,315 --> 00:47:17,849
Toots strudels, comes
in new three flavors:

859
00:47:17,851 --> 00:47:21,219
strawberry, watermelon,
and also cat flavor.

860
00:47:21,221 --> 00:47:24,489
Toot strudels, get it
out while it's in there.

861
00:47:24,491 --> 00:47:25,956
♪ Drop drop drop ♪

862
00:47:25,958 --> 00:47:27,659
♪ Hear the sound in the toilet ♪

863
00:47:27,661 --> 00:47:31,329
♪ Toot strudels will make
you poop like a baby ♪

864
00:47:31,331 --> 00:47:32,533
Toot strudels.

865
00:48:08,268 --> 00:48:10,469
I think I'm gonna take
a nap when I go inside.

866
00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:12,503
Yeah.

867
00:48:12,505 --> 00:48:13,938
Boo!

868
00:48:13,940 --> 00:48:14,973
Fucking Christ, Brayden,
are you kidding me?

869
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:16,273
I'm just messing with you.

870
00:48:16,275 --> 00:48:17,509
Thought you were into
that kind of stuff

871
00:48:17,511 --> 00:48:18,677
now with your new
horror channel.

872
00:48:18,679 --> 00:48:19,945
I got this new camera.

873
00:48:19,947 --> 00:48:21,645
That's not horror,
Brayden, it's real.

874
00:48:21,647 --> 00:48:23,148
People are actually
breaking into your place?

875
00:48:23,150 --> 00:48:25,616
C'mon, I'm not dumb
enough to believe that.

876
00:48:25,618 --> 00:48:27,119
Thought we can go out sometime?

877
00:48:27,121 --> 00:48:29,755
Now you wanna go out, now
that I'm back on a str33k?

878
00:48:29,757 --> 00:48:30,989
Well, yeah.

879
00:48:30,991 --> 00:48:34,726
Oh my god, thanks for
the rose, by the way.

880
00:48:34,728 --> 00:48:36,230
See you later, Brayden.

881
00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:03,557
Wow, Brayden really
likes to stomp on things.

882
00:49:04,792 --> 00:49:06,391
That makes me feel
a little bit better

883
00:49:06,393 --> 00:49:08,362
about fainting into
that dead body.

884
00:49:10,130 --> 00:49:13,100
That's the worst thing that
could have ever happened.

885
00:49:14,601 --> 00:49:16,737
Talk about falling
for someone heartless.

886
00:49:19,806 --> 00:49:20,640
Get it?

887
00:49:23,810 --> 00:49:25,976
I'm still worried.

888
00:49:25,978 --> 00:49:27,878
Don't be, Officer
Dobson's right outside,

889
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:29,346
and he has a gun.

890
00:49:29,348 --> 00:49:31,016
Does he have a gun, though?

891
00:49:31,018 --> 00:49:32,483
I didn't see one.

892
00:49:32,485 --> 00:49:35,353
I'm not even sure if
he has a real badge.

893
00:49:35,355 --> 00:49:37,322
He didn't even notice
Brayden coming up.

894
00:49:37,324 --> 00:49:39,157
Well, they probably
gave them one

895
00:49:39,159 --> 00:49:40,558
of those plastic
badges and no gun

896
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,328
until after their
first assignment.

897
00:49:43,730 --> 00:49:45,365
Anyway, I'm sure it's fine.

898
00:49:47,967 --> 00:49:50,367
Anyway, we should
go to bed, dude.

899
00:49:50,369 --> 00:49:52,103
I'd say we have to
do some flashes,

900
00:49:52,105 --> 00:49:53,971
but this one of you
getting kidnapped

901
00:49:53,973 --> 00:49:57,041
is str33king up
the charts, what.

902
00:49:57,043 --> 00:49:58,244
What about Laura?

903
00:49:59,679 --> 00:50:04,215
Her first chemo flash is
third after the kidnapping,

904
00:50:04,217 --> 00:50:05,953
and the underwear toss, what?

905
00:50:06,853 --> 00:50:09,721
The sexy underwear toss.

906
00:50:09,723 --> 00:50:12,190
Yes, Emma, I
taught you so well.

907
00:50:12,192 --> 00:50:13,627
Alright, let's go to bed.

908
00:50:15,696 --> 00:50:17,362
No prayers tonight?

909
00:50:17,364 --> 00:50:19,965
Nah, I'm already
feeling as confident

910
00:50:19,967 --> 00:50:21,235
as a mediocre white man.

911
00:50:23,203 --> 00:50:26,270
I wish I could be as
confident as Dobson.

912
00:50:26,272 --> 00:50:28,405
He's pretty damn mediocre.

913
00:50:28,407 --> 00:50:29,409
He sure is.

914
00:50:32,212 --> 00:50:34,414
I could solve this
case as well as he can.

915
00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:36,850
Well, I'm counting on you.

916
00:50:37,717 --> 00:50:38,518
Great.

917
00:50:40,152 --> 00:50:44,023
Well, I gotta go to bed,
I'm totally frazzled.

918
00:50:45,424 --> 00:50:46,225
Good night.

919
00:50:48,027 --> 00:50:48,828
Good night.

920
00:50:53,667 --> 00:50:56,867
Being creepy
sure brings out my hunger.

921
00:50:56,869 --> 00:51:00,038
Crouching in the bushes all
night making you peckish?

922
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,840
When I'm outside
someone's window,

923
00:51:01,842 --> 00:51:04,141
filming them without
their consent,

924
00:51:04,143 --> 00:51:05,744
I make sure they've got a box

925
00:51:05,746 --> 00:51:07,878
of toot strudels ready
in their kitchen.

926
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,049
When I need a break, I
just force open their door,

927
00:51:11,051 --> 00:51:13,985
tiptoe through the
house and grab a snack.

928
00:51:13,987 --> 00:51:16,387
Nothing like a
self-heating toaster pastry

929
00:51:16,389 --> 00:51:18,223
to give you energy to stay up

930
00:51:18,225 --> 00:51:20,525
all night watching
someone sleep.

931
00:51:20,527 --> 00:51:23,695
With patented radioactive
isotope technology,

932
00:51:23,697 --> 00:51:25,529
they help me stay warm
on chilly damp nights

933
00:51:25,531 --> 00:51:28,032
when I'm lurking in the shadows.

934
00:51:28,034 --> 00:51:29,867
Toot strudels,
the favorite snack

935
00:51:29,869 --> 00:51:31,737
food of night
creepers everywhere.

936
00:51:33,139 --> 00:51:37,076
Well, all's quiet here,
time for a little meditation.

937
00:56:23,330 --> 00:56:28,335
Shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.

938
00:56:34,373 --> 00:56:36,107
I woke up and
walked out of my room.

939
00:56:36,109 --> 00:56:38,308
The whole house
smelled like vinegar.

940
00:56:38,310 --> 00:56:41,112
I figured maybe Bailey
was cleaning or something,

941
00:56:41,114 --> 00:56:42,813
but she was gone.

942
00:56:42,815 --> 00:56:44,849
I thought maybe she
went for a walk,

943
00:56:44,851 --> 00:56:46,617
but then I received a text,

944
00:56:46,619 --> 00:56:48,418
I ran out right away to get you.

945
00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:49,820
Did you not hear anything?

946
00:56:49,822 --> 00:56:51,723
Yeah, it turns out that
my elephant hearing,

947
00:56:51,725 --> 00:56:54,625
not quite so keen and
fast when I'm asleep.

948
00:56:54,627 --> 00:56:56,326
What the hell
are we going to do?

949
00:56:56,328 --> 00:56:58,563
I mean, did you
try calling her?

950
00:56:58,565 --> 00:57:00,030
Yes, of course.

951
00:57:00,032 --> 00:57:01,532
And?

952
00:57:01,534 --> 00:57:04,067
No answer, look, somebody
broke into our apartment,

953
00:57:04,069 --> 00:57:07,804
not once, but twice,
it was not a prank!

954
00:57:07,806 --> 00:57:09,806
You were supposed to be
out there protecting us.

955
00:57:09,808 --> 00:57:12,309
He attacked me and
he kidnapped Bailey.

956
00:57:12,311 --> 00:57:13,244
Aaahh!

957
00:57:13,246 --> 00:57:15,313
Fucking do something about it!

958
00:57:15,315 --> 00:57:18,215
Do you have any leads at all?

959
00:57:18,217 --> 00:57:20,150
Aren't you the detective?

960
00:57:20,152 --> 00:57:21,786
I suppose I am, I mean,

961
00:57:21,788 --> 00:57:24,389
that's what it says
on my badge, anyway.

962
00:57:24,391 --> 00:57:26,056
You know, I can't place it,

963
00:57:26,058 --> 00:57:27,858
but you really
remind me of someone.

964
00:57:27,860 --> 00:57:30,460
I look like
a lot of people, okay?

965
00:57:30,462 --> 00:57:33,132
Any leads, anything?

966
00:57:35,034 --> 00:57:37,837
I mean, Bailey
had a lot of fans,

967
00:57:39,005 --> 00:57:40,773
I don't think she
had any enemies.

968
00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:45,476
Come to think of it, she
did have a lot of enemies.

969
00:57:45,478 --> 00:57:47,045
Like who?

970
00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:51,449
That Chase guy,
Brayden, our professor,

971
00:57:51,451 --> 00:57:54,518
just about everyone
loves and hates Bailey.

972
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,119
It's her thing, I guess.

973
00:57:56,121 --> 00:57:57,424
What about you?

974
00:57:59,491 --> 00:58:02,326
Nobody notices or
cares about me, really.

975
00:58:02,328 --> 00:58:07,130
No, no, no, I mean, don't
you love and hate Bailey?

976
00:58:07,132 --> 00:58:09,800
How do I know you're
not a suspect?

977
00:58:09,802 --> 00:58:10,603
Really?

978
00:58:12,205 --> 00:58:14,973
Yeah, I guess we can go ahead
and cross you off the list.

979
00:58:15,808 --> 00:58:16,810
What about you?

980
00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:18,842
Me?

981
00:58:18,844 --> 00:58:19,678
Sure.

982
00:58:21,614 --> 00:58:23,983
We can go ahead and
cross me off the list too.

983
00:58:25,451 --> 00:58:28,119
Great, just about eight
billion more people to go,

984
00:58:28,121 --> 00:58:29,454
until we find the kidnapper.

985
00:58:29,456 --> 00:58:30,355
Or killer.

986
00:58:30,357 --> 00:58:31,621
What?

987
00:58:31,623 --> 00:58:33,090
I mean, we just don't
know, she could be dead.

988
00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:36,059
What the hell kind of
detective school did you go to?

989
00:58:36,061 --> 00:58:37,261
You don't just tell people that

990
00:58:37,263 --> 00:58:38,962
their missing friends
might be dead.

991
00:58:38,964 --> 00:58:40,630
Yeah, I guess I missed
that day in class.

992
00:58:40,632 --> 00:58:42,000
Yeah, apparently.

993
00:58:43,235 --> 00:58:46,003
This whole apartment
smells like vinegar.

994
00:58:46,005 --> 00:58:49,574
Vinegar, you sure it's
not just chloroform?

995
00:58:49,576 --> 00:58:51,442
Well, what does
chloroform smell like?

996
00:58:51,444 --> 00:58:54,612
It, uh, smells exactly
like vinegar, yeah.

997
00:58:54,614 --> 00:58:56,813
Well then, there you have it.

998
00:58:58,650 --> 00:59:00,986
Hey, could I see your notebook?

999
00:59:03,123 --> 00:59:05,525
Um, sure.

1000
00:59:11,063 --> 00:59:12,896
Yup, well, I'm gonna
have to get going,

1001
00:59:12,898 --> 00:59:14,699
gotta get back on the case.

1002
00:59:14,701 --> 00:59:15,766
You should be okay, you know,

1003
00:59:15,768 --> 00:59:17,101
since nobody really notices you

1004
00:59:17,103 --> 00:59:18,405
or cares about you at all.

1005
00:59:19,406 --> 00:59:21,471
Thanks, I guess.

1006
00:59:21,473 --> 00:59:24,676
Just please promise me
that you'll find Bailey.

1007
00:59:25,844 --> 00:59:28,311
I know that she's
an idiot sometimes,

1008
00:59:28,313 --> 00:59:32,849
but she's really my only friend.

1009
00:59:32,851 --> 00:59:35,487
Yeah, I
promise I'll do my best.

1010
00:59:41,326 --> 00:59:45,898
It just doesn't add up,
I didn't hear anything.

1011
00:59:47,266 --> 00:59:49,335
Officer Dobson
didn't hear anything.

1012
00:59:54,373 --> 00:59:56,842
What does chloroform smell like?

1013
01:00:08,587 --> 01:00:09,520
Aaaahh!

1014
01:00:09,522 --> 01:00:11,188
Whoa, easy there, relax!

1015
01:00:11,190 --> 01:00:13,357
What have you
done with Bailey?!

1016
01:00:13,359 --> 01:00:14,592
What?

1017
01:00:14,594 --> 01:00:15,826
Nothing, I just came
to help her study.

1018
01:00:15,828 --> 01:00:16,960
Dr. Vargas wanted
me to tutor her.

1019
01:00:16,962 --> 01:00:18,929
Then why are you breaking in?

1020
01:00:18,931 --> 01:00:20,030
Breaking in?

1021
01:00:20,032 --> 01:00:21,364
I knocked and no one answered,

1022
01:00:21,366 --> 01:00:22,632
and I saw the door was open,

1023
01:00:22,634 --> 01:00:24,101
so I figured I'd see
if anyone was home.

1024
01:00:24,103 --> 01:00:27,440
a
little bit creepy, no?

1025
01:00:29,107 --> 01:00:31,208
Yeah, I guess
you're right, sorry,

1026
01:00:31,210 --> 01:00:33,945
I'm just not too used
to being around people.

1027
01:00:33,947 --> 01:00:35,413
Uh, do you think
maybe you could,

1028
01:00:35,415 --> 01:00:36,715
like, put that thing down?

1029
01:00:37,951 --> 01:00:40,985
I guess so, but
one false move and...

1030
01:00:40,987 --> 01:00:42,820
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

1031
01:00:42,822 --> 01:00:44,791
Alright, I just came
over to see Bailey.

1032
01:00:45,757 --> 01:00:47,326
She's not here.

1033
01:00:48,795 --> 01:00:51,094
Well, can you let her know
I stopped by or something?

1034
01:00:51,096 --> 01:00:52,929
I can't.

1035
01:00:52,931 --> 01:00:54,364
Why?

1036
01:00:54,366 --> 01:00:57,336
Because she's been kidnapped
or murdered or worse.

1037
01:01:24,630 --> 01:01:26,866
Oh my goodness, you're awake.

1038
01:01:28,333 --> 01:01:30,534
You have no idea how long
I've waited for this day,

1039
01:01:30,536 --> 01:01:32,504
now it's finally here.

1040
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:36,773
You know, I've followed your
work for sometime, Bailey.

1041
01:01:36,775 --> 01:01:38,275
From the beginning, really.

1042
01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:41,512
And I just knew if I could get
you alone in a room with me,

1043
01:01:41,514 --> 01:01:43,316
we'd be best friends.

1044
01:01:44,516 --> 01:01:48,518
But here we are
finally together,

1045
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,654
just the two of us.

1046
01:01:50,656 --> 01:01:52,723
I can feel the love in the
room already, can't you?

1047
01:01:55,694 --> 01:01:58,397
Oh that's right, that's
right, you can't talk.

1048
01:01:59,898 --> 01:02:02,465
Well, I'm awful sorry about
the accommodations, you see,

1049
01:02:02,467 --> 01:02:04,902
my neighbors complain
about the loud music,

1050
01:02:04,904 --> 01:02:07,871
who knows how they would feel
if they heard you screaming

1051
01:02:07,873 --> 01:02:10,107
down here, you get it right?!

1052
01:02:10,109 --> 01:02:12,143
Right?!

1053
01:02:15,081 --> 01:02:20,086
Help me, help me!

1054
01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:30,293
No, no, no, that's
a very, very bad girl.

1055
01:02:30,295 --> 01:02:32,598
We're supposed to have
fun together, remember?

1056
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:36,634
I've worked very
hard to get you here,

1057
01:02:36,636 --> 01:02:38,335
this is like a dream
come true for me,

1058
01:02:38,337 --> 01:02:40,637
but if we can't
have fun together,

1059
01:02:40,639 --> 01:02:43,109
well, there really is no
use for you, understand?

1060
01:02:44,177 --> 01:02:45,078
Understand?

1061
01:02:46,679 --> 01:02:49,215
Great, then let's
try this again.

1062
01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:52,382
What do you want from me?

1063
01:02:52,384 --> 01:02:54,851
I thought I made
that perfectly clear.

1064
01:02:54,853 --> 01:02:57,054
I want you to be my friend,

1065
01:02:57,056 --> 01:02:58,521
and we're gonna
hang out and make

1066
01:02:58,523 --> 01:03:00,525
flashes for everyone out there.

1067
01:03:02,094 --> 01:03:03,561
Flashes?

1068
01:03:03,563 --> 01:03:06,630
Yeah, someone has gotta
continue your str33k.

1069
01:03:06,632 --> 01:03:09,400
Like I said, I'm a
huge, longtime fan,

1070
01:03:09,402 --> 01:03:10,668
and I just always
wanted to be in

1071
01:03:10,670 --> 01:03:13,039
the flashes together
with you as a team.

1072
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:18,009
If I make flashes with
you, you'll let me go?

1073
01:03:18,011 --> 01:03:20,610
We'll see, we'll
see, but look,

1074
01:03:20,612 --> 01:03:23,413
I've taken the liberty of
typing up a script for you.

1075
01:03:23,415 --> 01:03:26,416
Now, I know normally you
improvise your flashes,

1076
01:03:26,418 --> 01:03:28,152
but I really think it's better

1077
01:03:28,154 --> 01:03:29,853
if we work from a
script to start.

1078
01:03:29,855 --> 01:03:32,155
You see, I've got
this perfect idea

1079
01:03:32,157 --> 01:03:34,190
in my mind of how
it's supposed to go,

1080
01:03:34,192 --> 01:03:36,860
and if it doesn't
go just perfectly,

1081
01:03:36,862 --> 01:03:38,829
I may have to make some cuts.

1082
01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:49,609
Help me, help
me! Help!

1083
01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:54,047
Well, at least she isn't dead.

1084
01:03:56,882 --> 01:03:58,114
And this is the most viewed live

1085
01:03:58,116 --> 01:03:59,819
str33k in the
history of str33ker.

1086
01:04:01,319 --> 01:04:03,088
I've gotta call
Officer Dobson.

1087
01:04:10,630 --> 01:04:11,762
The following flash has been

1088
01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:14,230
brought to you by toot strudels,

1089
01:04:14,232 --> 01:04:16,833
the official toaster
pastry of str33ker.

1090
01:04:16,835 --> 01:04:19,804
There's froot in every toot.

1091
01:04:19,806 --> 01:04:21,271
Froot contains no
flavors, colors, pulp,

1092
01:04:21,273 --> 01:04:22,407
or other natural derivatives
of fruits or vegetables.

1093
01:04:25,277 --> 01:04:27,413
This will be my
last flash ever.

1094
01:04:30,917 --> 01:04:33,018
I just wanna say
thank you so much.

1095
01:04:36,322 --> 01:04:39,058
I'm told I only have
hours left to live,

1096
01:04:41,893 --> 01:04:45,931
my heart's giving out and
there's nothing anyone can do.

1097
01:04:49,701 --> 01:04:51,036
I wish you all the best.

1098
01:04:53,406 --> 01:04:58,311
I'm also hoping that
Bailey gets rescued safely.

1099
01:05:00,846 --> 01:05:03,482
I'm rooting for you.

1100
01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,855
The start of the greatest
str33k in the history...

1101
01:05:17,596 --> 01:05:19,197
Fucking telemarketers.

1102
01:05:21,067 --> 01:05:22,699
You should really sign up
for the Do Not Call list.

1103
01:05:22,701 --> 01:05:23,535
Shut up!

1104
01:05:25,337 --> 01:05:26,737
You know, if you wanted
to be in one of my flashes,

1105
01:05:26,739 --> 01:05:28,271
you could've just asked me.

1106
01:05:28,273 --> 01:05:31,175
No, no, no, no, no,
you see, I tried that,

1107
01:05:31,177 --> 01:05:33,844
it's funny you should say
that, because boy did I try.

1108
01:05:33,846 --> 01:05:35,179
I sent you a letter every week

1109
01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:36,447
telling you how much I loved you

1110
01:05:36,449 --> 01:05:38,681
and wanted to be in
one of your flashes,

1111
01:05:38,683 --> 01:05:40,050
but I never got a reply.

1112
01:05:40,052 --> 01:05:41,518
I never got any...

1113
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,954
Yeah, well, water under
the bridge now, right?

1114
01:05:43,956 --> 01:05:46,623
We're here together now,
that's all that matters.

1115
01:05:46,625 --> 01:05:50,661
And look, here's a rose
to show you my love.

1116
01:05:50,663 --> 01:05:53,230
Ew freak, stop.

1117
01:05:53,232 --> 01:05:54,934
Hey, that's not very ladylike.

1118
01:05:57,435 --> 01:05:58,270
Fine.

1119
01:06:05,310 --> 01:06:08,679
Well, everybody, our time
is just about up for today.

1120
01:06:08,681 --> 01:06:12,882
But we'll be back in just
a few short hours tonight.

1121
01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:16,020
Be sure to tune in for the
start of the grand finale,

1122
01:06:16,022 --> 01:06:17,721
the beginning of
the greatest live

1123
01:06:17,723 --> 01:06:20,025
str33k in the
history of str33king.

1124
01:06:25,031 --> 01:06:28,833
I don't know why he's
not answering his phone.

1125
01:06:31,203 --> 01:06:32,203
You've
reached the voicemail

1126
01:06:32,205 --> 01:06:34,137
of Detective Frank Dobson, yeah,

1127
01:06:34,139 --> 01:06:35,239
I can't come to the
phone right now.

1128
01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:40,012
I'm calling 911, forget it.

1129
01:06:50,723 --> 01:06:52,625
Do you think we
took this too far?

1130
01:06:53,926 --> 01:06:56,226
I, I, I don't know, I'm
freaking out about this,

1131
01:06:56,228 --> 01:06:58,128
and Emma's really
worried and I feel like

1132
01:06:58,130 --> 01:06:59,996
people think this is
real or something.

1133
01:06:59,998 --> 01:07:01,532
Oh, well, I hope
they think it's real,

1134
01:07:01,534 --> 01:07:02,702
it's been great so far.

1135
01:07:05,270 --> 01:07:07,237
I, I, I don't want to do this,

1136
01:07:07,239 --> 01:07:08,806
I'm gonna call Emma.

1137
01:07:08,808 --> 01:07:10,474
Don't you think
she's gonna be angry?

1138
01:07:10,476 --> 01:07:12,009
No, it's Emma.

1139
01:07:12,011 --> 01:07:13,143
She'll be annoyed at first,

1140
01:07:13,145 --> 01:07:14,645
and she'll pretend not to care,

1141
01:07:14,647 --> 01:07:17,380
but she cares about being
famous as much as I do.

1142
01:07:17,382 --> 01:07:19,983
And she won't tell anybody
either, so don't worry.

1143
01:07:19,985 --> 01:07:21,951
Well, I guess she's gonna
have to save you then.

1144
01:07:21,953 --> 01:07:23,522
Yeah, but she can pretend.

1145
01:07:24,991 --> 01:07:28,491
Listen Bailey, I mean it's
been real up to this point,

1146
01:07:28,493 --> 01:07:31,262
but uh, I'm not just
gonna throw this away.

1147
01:07:31,264 --> 01:07:34,697
We've come this far, I'm not
just gonna walk away from it.

1148
01:07:34,699 --> 01:07:36,634
Well, I'm not going to do it.

1149
01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:37,902
Yes, you fucking are!

1150
01:07:37,904 --> 01:07:39,402
You fucking said you
would, you're here,

1151
01:07:39,404 --> 01:07:41,038
we're here, we're
doing it, okay?!

1152
01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:43,940
We're doing it!

1153
01:07:43,942 --> 01:07:47,511
Now just stop arguing
with me, I'm tired of it.

1154
01:07:47,513 --> 01:07:49,045
We're going with the
plan we agreed on.

1155
01:07:49,047 --> 01:07:50,782
Please I don't want to do it.

1156
01:07:54,819 --> 01:07:57,387
Just shut up about that.

1157
01:07:57,389 --> 01:07:58,922
I just need you to shut up,

1158
01:07:58,924 --> 01:08:01,324
it's the last time I'm
gonna say it, okay?

1159
01:08:01,326 --> 01:08:04,994
Just shut up and
let's finish it, okay?

1160
01:08:04,996 --> 01:08:05,829
What, what, what
are you doing?

1161
01:08:05,831 --> 01:08:07,096
Stop.

1162
01:08:07,098 --> 01:08:08,301
What, why are you
making it tighter?

1163
01:08:09,902 --> 01:08:14,907
Right, uh, I'm sorry,

1164
01:08:15,641 --> 01:08:16,142
look, I'm really sorry.

1165
01:08:17,243 --> 01:08:18,509
I just started freaking
out when I thought

1166
01:08:18,511 --> 01:08:20,079
you were gonna back
out all of a sudden.

1167
01:08:21,746 --> 01:08:23,012
It's okay, it's just I feel

1168
01:08:23,014 --> 01:08:24,148
like this is
getting out of hand.

1169
01:08:32,959 --> 01:08:34,524
Is that my real knife?

1170
01:08:34,526 --> 01:08:36,961
Yeah, I just grabbed
it from your place.

1171
01:08:36,963 --> 01:08:38,162
Oh my god, I'm not
gonna hurt you.

1172
01:08:38,164 --> 01:08:39,563
You don't need to freak out

1173
01:08:39,565 --> 01:08:41,064
or get all hysterical
or anything.

1174
01:08:41,066 --> 01:08:42,599
My god, I just need
it to look convincing.

1175
01:08:42,601 --> 01:08:43,833
Alright, please,
please, please,

1176
01:08:43,835 --> 01:08:46,002
just please don't cut
me with the knife, okay?

1177
01:08:47,205 --> 01:08:48,604
Just put it away, please.

1178
01:08:48,606 --> 01:08:50,341
Yeah, you don't need
to worry about it.

1179
01:08:50,343 --> 01:08:51,507
Okay, but...

1180
01:08:51,509 --> 01:08:53,111
Yeah, I have the
reflexes of an elephant.

1181
01:10:15,895 --> 01:10:18,964
Toot strudels, awesome.

1182
01:10:21,299 --> 01:10:22,668
Where the hell is Dobson?

1183
01:10:24,837 --> 01:10:26,170
You've got to have seen
the guy who did this,

1184
01:10:26,172 --> 01:10:27,306
at some point, right?

1185
01:10:28,441 --> 01:10:30,843
I don't know, I
can't think of anyone.

1186
01:10:31,776 --> 01:10:32,842
I mean, I guess at this point,

1187
01:10:32,844 --> 01:10:34,944
it could be a lot of people.

1188
01:10:34,946 --> 01:10:37,581
I even thought you
were a suspect.

1189
01:10:37,583 --> 01:10:40,553
Me?

1190
01:10:42,721 --> 01:10:44,621
What's so funny?

1191
01:10:44,623 --> 01:10:46,924
That you thought I
could be a kidnapper.

1192
01:10:46,926 --> 01:10:48,593
No, no, that's
not what I meant.

1193
01:10:49,895 --> 01:10:54,667
What I meant was,
what's so funny?

1194
01:10:57,069 --> 01:11:00,237
Sorry, I have no idea
what you're talking about.

1195
01:11:00,239 --> 01:11:02,238
I think we need
to watch the video.

1196
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:03,074
Which video?

1197
01:11:04,509 --> 01:11:05,708
This is
like a dream come true for me,

1198
01:11:06,945 --> 01:11:08,211
but if we can't
have fun together,

1199
01:11:08,213 --> 01:11:11,081
well there really is no
use for you, understand?

1200
01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:11,951
Now laugh.

1201
01:11:13,919 --> 01:11:15,452
Ha ha.

1202
01:11:15,454 --> 01:11:16,953
For real.

1203
01:11:16,955 --> 01:11:18,788
Okay, why do people always
tell other people to laugh or

1204
01:11:18,790 --> 01:11:19,756
smile?

1205
01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:22,326
Laugh.

1206
01:11:25,196 --> 01:11:26,863
Can't
have fun together,

1207
01:11:26,865 --> 01:11:28,364
well there really
is no use for you.

1208
01:11:30,768 --> 01:11:31,570
What's so funny?

1209
01:11:33,172 --> 01:11:34,339
I know where Bailey is!

1210
01:15:30,709 --> 01:15:32,309
The preceding film
has been brought

1211
01:15:32,311 --> 01:15:34,277
to you by toot strudels.

1212
01:15:34,279 --> 01:15:37,881
There's froot in every toot.

1213
01:15:37,883 --> 01:15:39,716
Froot contains no
flavors, colors, pulp,

1214
01:15:39,718 --> 01:15:42,354
or other natural derivatives
of fruits of vegetables.

1215
01:19:10,227 --> 01:19:14,229
Helllllo Emma nation,
Emma world, Emma universe!

1216
01:19:14,231 --> 01:19:16,632
We've been number
one for 13 weeks now,

1217
01:19:16,634 --> 01:19:18,835
and I would like to
thank all of my fans

1218
01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:21,604
with a tour of
Hollywood's Weirdest.

1219
01:19:21,606 --> 01:19:25,475
I would also like to thank
my very tall roommate Bailey

1220
01:19:25,477 --> 01:19:27,579
for helping us film today.

1221
01:19:28,446 --> 01:19:31,780
Bailey is very, very serious.

1222
01:19:31,782 --> 01:19:36,788
But underneath that sour exterior
is a very, very fun girl.

1223
01:19:38,222 --> 01:19:41,056
And I think when Bailey
learns to smile and laugh,

1224
01:19:41,058 --> 01:19:44,527
she'll be having just as
much fun as the rest of us!

1225
01:19:45,630 --> 01:19:48,366
Bailey, smile for the camera!

1226
01:19:48,851 --> 01:19:50,929
Subtitles by explosiveskull
akumenang.com