World War Also Not An ERP: S3

[17:02:15] <Cille_Lund> After a particular incident, Cille found herself wondering about Naida. The voices held a unanimous agreement that Naida probably should never have been allowed near magic ever, and Cille was inclined to agree at this point, even beyond the usual fare of magic being something no one should be near. But, at last, she finally made the mistake of having accidentally scarred Ingra. Cille supposed she should just leave her be since she plans on taking off, the voices got into an uproar, and demanded Cille at least ask for an apology or something like that, like come on, honestly, she's not going to go out and apologize herself, she hasn't left her room ever since she got in it. After some minor pressuring, Cille found herself knocking on Naida's door!
[17:03:18] <Naida> Silence.
[17:08:42] <Cille_Lund> *"Either we've got a difficult one, or she's not there." "If I were a betting...voice, I'd bet on the former. And I am. 50!" "50 what?" "Imaginaries. 50 imaginaries."* Cille sighs, both at the lack of response and these obnoxious things, bent on killing the mood, whatever the mood happens to be. She figures to at least try calling out before trying the door and going through her room without permission or something. "You in there, Naida?"
[17:10:22] <Naida> There's a bit of a sniffle and some mumbling but that's it.
[17:15:53] <Cille_Lund> *"51!" "You only won one?" "Well, considering the odds, I'd say it's a fair bet." "...Oh, you saying we have to keep it down? ...Fine. But only a little."* Eventually, Cille tries the door!
[17:17:16] <Naida> It certainly isn't locked, although a chair and an overturned nightstand are partially impeding its path.]
[17:23:21] <Naida> The curtains are drawn on the window, leaving the room quite dark, though a figure seems to be sitting on the bed facing you.
[17:29:03] <Cille_Lund> ...Huh. This is something. She did seem to get in, but someone must have been...feeling very, very negative to have made the mess in the way of the door. A...feeling she could be familiar with if she didn't opt for bottling it up most of the time. Differences, ho! "...I wanted to see how you were holding up, but I wasn't quite expecting this..." She is NOT GOOD AT THIS, but damn if she doesn't try anyway.
[17:35:48] <Naida> "...you were not expecting a monster?"
[17:36:48] <Naida> Her voice is raspy and breaks as she speaks.
[17:42:42] <Cille_Lund> "...I certainly wasn't expecting a monster, and I still do not see one. I fear that you might eventually become one as things are currently going, but you aren't a monster." Cille sounds...unsure of herself, in here, half expecting to accidentally say something terrible. Still, damned if she doesn't try!
[17:46:14] <Naida> As Cille's eyes acclimate to the dark, she begins to notice pairs of eyes in all of the darkest shadows. "Ah, it is normal to inspire horror in those you touch then?"
[17:53:19] <Cille_Lund> "Of course it isn't. And of course, it's a bad thing. But being able to do these things, and even doing them on accident, doesn't make you a monster." ...There's a lot more eyes in here than she figured. ...And that, too, is probably a bad thing. "...It might make you a fool, but it doesn't make you a monster. You aren't a monster until you stop caring about what you do."
[17:55:46] <Naida> "...does it really matter if I care or not when they'd still turn and run regardless?"
[18:03:58] <Cille_Lund> "...As things stand, you are dangerous, there is no mistake. But, there are ways to protect others from you. I have no idea if the things that have happened to you will stick or not, but if you were more careful, you would not have been treated like a monster. Whether by not going outside outright for a while, covering a good portion of your skin so nothing makes direct contact...there are ways around this, some more extreme than others, which would result in less turning and running."
[18:05:00] <Naida> "In other words, acting less and less like a person would make me perceived less and less as a monster?"
[18:11:33] <Cille_Lund> "In some instances, yes, it can keep you from doing the things that would make people perceive you as a monster." *"Or, a better long term goal, stop being an idiot and putting your magic on full blast all of the time cause it makes blowing things up quicker. It just turns you into a walking health hazard, a freak, something like that. Like a cripple, only worse." "We said only a little."* Cille has a strained exhale at the voices making a fair point, if not a softly worded one.
[18:15:36] <Naida> "Well it's not like I don't try...things just end up bigger than I expect...every time."
[18:22:10] <Cille_Lund> "You should probably put less into it, then, in anticipation of it overblowing. You definitely seem to go full throttle against the enemy, pretty much all the time." *"And using it to gross out a guest here is just right out. You probably deserved that instance. Hubris, and all that. Vester, the bester."* "...And if it ends up being a wash, there's other people that can cover for you. Failing even that, the fight might be a bit longer, we might get shot a little, but in comparison to what can happen if you overdo it, that might be preferred."
[18:23:50] <Naida> "...I don't...I didn't want them to ever get as close to the city as that first time...I didn't want another Ingra...so of course instead I just made her worse..." Are...the shadows getting closer to Cille? At least they look attentive and aren't making a sound. Couldn't ask for a better audience.
[18:33:03] * Oxford ([email protected]) has joined #WorldWarBurst
[18:33:14] <Cille_Lund> ...Is this some long term hallucination? The intial effects didn't seem too strong, so...but, even if it IS, she stands firm. She's at least good at that. They're a better audience than these voices, anyway. *"Hey, we heard that. Anymore comments and we will try voicing the shadows ourselves."* Cille does her best to ignore the voices, and continues. "That...is understandable. It's why I've tried to get better at keeping them in place so they can't advance close enough to let that happen, enough for everyone else to advance and destroy them at their leisure. So...you can relax a bit, on that front. We're doing what we can to prevent that from happening again, as well."
[18:36:20] <Naida> "...how long? How long do you think we're all just walking abominations? Even when fighting carefully, you don't seem to completely avoid these...these curses or whatever."
[18:41:11] <Cille_Lund> "Sadly, fighting carefully doesn't stop things. It might make them last a shorter amount of time, be less frequent, and less extreme, but as long as we fight, we'll have to deal with things like that, and be...freaks, from time to time. I...might be dealing with it in an extreme way of my own, but it's better than letting everyone know that there's something magical going on with me I certainly wasn't expecting to sign up for this, but here I am. All that can be done about these things when they crop up is to deal with them in the fashion that causes people less pain. If we act less like ourselves, less human, as you were saying, to prevent that, then, so be it. All the incentive to avoid the worst of it with careful fighting."
[18:44:25] <Naida> "To...to not make anymore Ingras...I will stay here. In this room. Someone will have to look after the bar more often...and I...how have you not gone insane for how often you hid yourself away?"
[18:49:47] <Cille_Lund> "Who said I'm not insane? I'm just better at hiding it. Being used to being alone helps out, too. ...It's alright to come out, but try not to come out and see anyone other than the girls." *"And Vesty."* "Preferrably not him, but mostly just because he's...him. Cleaning up the mess you made would probably make the place seem less depressing, and you could use a less depressing scene!"
[18:51:59] <Naida> The eyes have turned their attention to Naida. "Somehow, that does not seem like it would help much...could you bring me the ledgers? At the very least I can find how long we have until the business fails too."
[18:56:45] <Cille_Lund> "...Alright, I can do that." ...Hopefully those things won't screw with her too much (given that they exist at all). It might not be the best thing to look at, but...you can't exactly hide from it, either! She goes down to get the ledgers, and after a minute or so, promptly comes back up with them!
[19:02:18] <Naida> Upon her return, the nightstand has climbed back to its feet, and a lamp you're not entirely certain was even in the room before has claimed it. Stepping briefly back towards the light to retrieve her only distraction, Naida's eyes are red and puffy. "...thank you."
[19:13:49] <Cille_Lund> There's light in the room! It's an improvement! "It's the least I can do." *"...Hey. Wait a second. You were all 'I keep them from advancing', and you're gonna leave it at that? That's kinda cruel, you know. At least let her know like, half of what your plans actually are. Give her a chance to adapt to what she should have been aware of somehow." "And give her a reason to believe you're crazy."* Cille's chest tightens. Stop having fair points! "...I...do not plan on staying here for much longer. I am glad I managed this talk while I still could, but...being cooped up here has gotten to me in a different way than you seemed to imply."
[19:16:00] <Naida> She flips it open and begins scanning the pages, not bothering to look up as she speaks. "Well, it's only been a matter of time until we did something crazy, they made us do something crazy, we died, they killed us, they enslaved us, or we just flat out left. What, exactly, are you planning?"
[19:24:09] <Cille_Lund> "As things stand, we'd do something crazy on the way to avoiding death. Being a freak isn't preferred, but it beats dying for people with something to live for. ...I plan on going into Nov territory, as I am tired of simply being here and doing nothing. ...Defending the town is an absolute must now, thanks to the earlier attack, but I can't bring myself to wait patiently to defend it from sporadic attacks any longer. I have a way to get in, and sadly, it involves generous application of magic, but it should work."
[19:24:51] <Cille_Lund> "I'm not sure what I'll be doing once I'm inside. I just know I need to make sure Vladko is alright. From there, it's just figuring out how to really damage their war effort."
[19:25:58] <Naida> "...and the others?"
[19:32:31] <Cille_Lund> "I...have told Lily, who seems willing to help me out. The others do not know, and I worry what would happen if they did." *"Like, if someone doesn't know how to control themselves and lets it slip to Vesty, who might not even be opposed to the idea. Or maybe Henriette might make efforts to prevent her from doing something foolish! Goodness knows what other conspiracy theories there might be."* "...And as much as I would like to leave without being missed, I can't stop myself from doing things like this...and she would be right, it IS foolish. I'm not even sure if I'll survive, though the plan should be able to cover a return trip. But, I'm also used to the idea of dying, so that could be worse too." *"And there's your proof!"*
[19:33:49] <Naida> "Is it supposed to be a suicide mission? Because it sounds an awful lot like a suicide mission."
[19:35:40] <Cille_Lund> "It's a step from one, yes. The difference is that I've gotten far too good at not dying, so I might end up living anyway." *"Better than just offing yourself, for sure!"*
[19:38:41] <Naida> "Well...this just kind of sucks. Like the everything. Not exactly living up to what I thought it would be."
[19:43:15] <Cille_Lund> "It...really does suck. But then I look at the alternative of having never met any of you and rotting away without helping anyone, and I say I could have made a worse decision." *"Yeah, you traded a quiet death for a loud one, plus the opportunity to make a difference, which you might hose up anyway. Go you!"* "Again, the plan is to not die." *"But, you're prepared to die."* "I'm still trying not to."
[19:45:15] <Naida> Cille's words catch Naida completely off guard and she loses her place in the books. She looks up in confusion, which slowly morphs into a gloomy smile. "You know...I always thought you just kind of loathed us."
[19:55:36] <Cille_Lund> "I can't hate the only friends I have! Even if you're all prone to doing things that are...rather questionable. Rosalyne's taking off for enemy territory without warning at a speed that blew out everyone's windows, Henriette's questionable leadership earlier on as well as her own tendency to use excessive force, though she seems better at controlling it, Lily's plan to throw Vladko off a cliff to save his life somehow...you've all done things that would earn some loathing. And it wouldn't hurt to be talked to some more, it gets lonely in the back. Still, even though you all have shortcomings, you've all got a lot of good things to show in return, and no one's perfect anyway, especially me, who can't even properly say how she feels without a situation like this!"
[19:57:15] <Naida> When did half of the pairs of eyes disappear? Were they bored? "...that...was a lot of words without your friends interrupting."
[20:00:02] <Cille_Lund> *"She started remembering all of those times. We felt her frustration, panic, all that. Felt good." "Also, she admitted her own imperfections. We can't get in the way of something like that." "This entire side of the conversation's our fault anyway! Technically, we're responsible for these words. And that's OK!"* "...You heard em, I guess!"
[20:01:24] <Naida> "Do they talk when you're trying to sleep?"
[20:04:50] <Cille_Lund> *"When we feel like it. If she's bothered, we keep her up. We'd have kept her up about this if she didn't come here." "She's bothered pretty much every day, though. Cause of us, if nothing else." "We also always feel like talking."* "...Yes, but when I'm finally really tired, they start to nod off as well." "Still talk to you more than most people, though." "That's because you're all attached to me, and you rarely stop talking."
[20:06:25] <Naida> "Huh...well...I would like a bit more time to myself...if you don't mind."
[20:09:34] <Cille_Lund> "That's alright. I suppose after all this, you need some time to think." *"We're gonna have to change the betting ratio for 'Naida ruining everything', aren't we?" "Yes! I can bet and get more on it! Plus fifty instead of plus one!"* "...And it's hard to think with these things rattling on. Try not to let everything get to you, but...this might be weird to say, but Lily's pretty sure that us being kind of nuts is why magic works well with us. So, well, I guess you should try not to get TOO reasonable, but also try not to let being unreasonable be your downfall, alright?"
[20:11:50] <Naida> "...basically, embrace the crazy in battle, but hiding it in public?"
[20:18:02] <Cille_Lund> "Sounds about right, just don't forget to hold back somewhat so it doesn't change you too much. God forbid if any of it sticks. I'd rather have the voices tailing me temporarily than those shadows with eyes haunting me forever." *"She loves us!"* "And being a weirdo in general is fine too, but only if it's natural." "Then again, feeling like you have to act crazy to obtain super-powers does kind of make you a bit crazy." "Being crazy is weird. And crazy." "Speaking of crazy, we're not the only ones seeing that, right?"
[20:19:30] <Naida> "...hm...if that's all then?"
[20:24:28] <Cille_Lund> "That's all. ...Take care!" Cille, relieved that the conversation did well to clear some air, yet worried that it might mean her absence might be felt more than she had wished, leaves the room to return to her own, prepared to resume her efforts to leave the area (in this case, resuming the drawing for Lily).
[20:25:26] <Naida> Naida calls outas Cille leaves depressed people to their own devices,"Do tell me before you do crazy things!"
[20:27:51] <Cille_Lund> Cille's been doing it for years. With herself. "I'll try to, within reason!" She can't bring herself to guarantee anything, but she can sure try!
[20:40:46] <Naida> </mini>