Thread 111: Stories 46-59

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>Chitania
"Pommel"
'???'
~~

"...So, are you-"

>Shut up.

"Not even gonna back off a little on the-"

>Shut upppp.

"Okay, you know what? I really hate stubborn jerks like you. Just never listens to anyone but yourself, never does anything for anybody, you're as stubborn as a..."

>...What?

"Ahem."

'No, go on, what were you going to say?'

>Who the fuck are you?

'Hi, names Hanky. Visiting my cousin Cranky. Missed his wedding, so I decided to come visit.'

"That is very interesting and I would like to hear more of that."

'Sure, right after you finish what you were going to say.'

"Erm..."

>Am I missing something? What's wrong with him calling me as stubborn as a dragon.

"YES! DRAGON! THAT'S WHAT I MEANT DRAGON!"

'Uh uh... you sure you didn't mean-'

"NOPE!"

>Am I missing something?

"Well... SOME ponies-notmecertainlynotme-tend to use a... newer phrase."

>Oh? What is it?

"...Stubbon as a... ahem... Stubbornasamule."

'OF COURSE!'

"OH COME ON! She asked!"

'Uh huh! And that's totally not what you were going to say!'

"You're not even a mule!"

'GASP!I will have you know I am proud one half buffalo, THANK YOU!'

>...heh.

'And what do you find so funny about that!?'

>Burro cholo.

"...what!?"

>Cholo is mixed between buffalo and something else. Burro is short donkey.

'I AM NOT SHORT!'

>You are to me.

'HMPH!'

>So, he's a burro cholo.

"...There's terminology for buffalo having mixed kids? Is that common?"

'And why wouldn't it be!? Is there a problem with that!?'

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!"

'MY MOTHER IS A CLASSY LADY!'

>Dad likes bigger type, I take it?

'GASP!'

>...

'...Well, I mean, yes, but that has nothing to do with anything!'

>He likes big butts.

"And he cannot lie."

'...Go back to being racist.'

"I'M SORRY!"

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>7
"???"
~~~

That pony was far too trusting sometimes.

All it took was a simple nod, the guise of going into the woods "for a break", and she trusted him implicitly. There was not so much as a hint that she felt he was dishonest at all.

He felt a little bad, really.

>What did you find?

Eyes, red as an inferno that mingled with green, looked back at him from the shadows.

"They are being moved."

>To where?

"... Everywhere."

A thoughtful hoof touched his chin, his tongue poking out ever so slightly.

>So, those orders on her desk were to Saddle Arabia...

"And many others."

>Indeed... Well, you know what to do.

"Of course. Should we tell the Pony?"

>No... Not yet. We can handle it for now.

"As you wish."

>Good. Take care, and call me if there are any problems. I will be there, if you need me.

"... Thank you."

>No need at all. Take care... Blossom.

In a second, a blink, she was gone. Off to do what he asked, to gain information he would soon pass to his Queen.

For, even if his current job had taken him to odd places... He was still a Changeling after all.

And he would serve his Queen.

>Take care...

No matter how much he hated to see her go.

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 OOCO
>AJ
"SA"
'???'
~~

"Aj, you're drunk.'

>Ah'm not drunk, YER drunk!... Hn? See? Ain't sho nice when someone says stuff like that. Hurts the feelinsh."

>You're drunk.

"Anh yer' mean!"

>You're drunk.

"Prove ih!"

>You want me to?

"Yesh! Go on, besha can't!"

>Easy test. Where do you think we are right now?

"...In yer' offish?"

>...

"Why're yer' lighsh out?"

>Applejack, we're not in my office.

"Haw! Likely shtorhy! Iffin' we ain't what where we was, then where is we?"

>We're at Two's Happy Heart Day play.

"...."

'Hi Auntie Applejack!'

"Heeyyyy budddy!"

>...

"...Ah' might've ghotten a weetle bit o' the juice."

>Could've fooled me.

'Um, Applejack? Could'ja get off the stage?'

"Shure!"

WHUMP!

>...Ow.

"Hee hee, yer' shoft."

>Please just do the sleep thing.

"ZZZZZzzzzzz..."

>Thank goodness.

'...Wait, don't she normally-'

"BLARGH!"

'There it is!'

>...

'How many points is that?'

>...It doesn't matter... I lose.

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>Chitania
"Pommel"
'13'
-41-
~SP~

>...

"..."

'...'

"So..."

'Don't.'

"Bu-"

'Do you not know the definition of insanity?'

"Look we're gonna be here for another-FORTY FIVE MINUTES!?"

>FUCK!

"I know right!?"

>NO YOU IDIOT! FUCK! OW!

'Mom?'

>SOMETHING POKED ME IN THE EYE!

"...that hurts you? I thought it wouldn't hurt."

>IT'S AN EYEBALL, YOU MORON, IT'S NOT MADE OF TITANIUM!

'Hold still, I see it. Captain, yank it out.'

"Yeah yeah."

Yoink.

>Fucking...gah...

'What is it?'

"It's a paper airplane."

'What.'

>WHO THREW THAT!?

"Hang on, there's a picture on it..."

>...

'...'

On the page, doodled in crayon, was a picture of Pommel and Chitania knocked out in a heap with a certain pair of Pegasus and Changeling giving a brohoof.

>"'...'"

-...-

~...Hey 41! I didn't get it! You sure you threw it right? ...uh oh.~

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>Chrysalis
"SA"
~~~

Failure was something she was all too used to by this point. Failure to win over hearts and minds was another sadly common staple of her life. Suspicion was a part of her life, to be thought of a monster was as common as a pony who was shorter than her in height. What had happened, the words, the anger and the demands, were not something unexpected, or something she could not conceive.

Somehow still, this time managed to reach her more than usual.

"Where are you going?"

She hadn't stood long before striding out of that meeting room, waiting only until the Gryphon entered the airship and took to the sky before her limbs moved of smooth accord to propel her out of the room with the shattered table, never looking to the prince who watched her with every step, and followed her without hesitation the moment she was through the door.

"Chrysalis, stop!"

She ignored him, striding with purpose down those castle halls, every step reverberating off the finest crystal to ever grace the planet, a reflection of prestige and beauty for which it was known.

The prince paid no mind to the splendor, much as the Queen did not, keeping pace with her through extended effort to match her far taller legs. She ignored him, never looking back as she strode with her mind on fire far hotter than she herself could ever hope to conjure. Mind on a single truth that terrible exchange had shown.

Her worst fears, realized.

"It's not that bad, okay? Just stop!"

She had tried, she had truly tried there. Perhaps it was too late, she mused. Perhaps she should have made more of an effort back when she first arrived, perhaps she should have been more interactive with the royals beyond those she knew. Perhaps, if she had not waited so long, any would believe her or Shining as they spoke that this was not an invasion.

Perhaps, maybes and what ifs, as useless as a snowcone in a blizzard.

"I said stop!"

She listened to no commands, another thing quite common in her life. She gave him nothing as she strode past bedrooms and offices, bathrooms and playrooms, all the while thinking to herself with thoughts that made her eyes go red.

She knew, if she were to have stake in this world, there would need to be some sort of understanding beyond this sphere of protection, there would need to be some sort of interaction with the world as a whole. This one exchange told her more of what she could expect if she ever brought herself to strike out in the world abroad then any speculation ever could.

The kingdom, the new country she had been forming in her mind, would face nothing but this. They would fight her, they would not trust her, and perhaps that was for the best.

No doubt even her one other ally in this world was in a state of chaos. She would have to act now. She could wait no longer for things to get better.

"Chrysalis!"

She opened the door without delay, as smooth and as powerful as a snakes strike, and looked to her target with all the hunger that rattlesnake would feel as they looked to a mouse.

If this was the world she would have to face, so be it. She had fought stronger opponents, deadlier, bigger and more powerful. If it was too late, so be it. If her stake in this would would call forth the sharks seeking blood in the water, so be it. If they feared her, if they wished her gone...

She would face this world, and show them why she was the greatest Queen who ever lived. They would not be rid of her, ever.

She stepped into the room, and waited no more for the world to change.

"I SAID STOP!"

Until he made her, that was.

She didn't know what to think when she looked down and saw her destination encased in a shield, only had a second to even register it before that shield expanded, and shoved her back with far more force than she had been expecting. Though it had not knocked her down, it may as well have blown her away.

To be cast through the air would make far, far more sense than the look on the alabaster prince's face when she turned around.

"What do you think you're doing?"

>I could ask you the same thing.

He advanced on her, locked on like a beast towards a wounded animal, and did not stop until he was no more than a step away from her.

"I'm keeping you from making things worse."

>I don't see how I could-

"CHRYSALIS!"

To hear him roar like that was like nails on a chalkboard to her ears. It hurt, and in more ways than one. It was only the way his face melted away into one of regret, and remorse, that reminded her of whom she was speaking to.

"...Do you really think this isn't going to have any repercussions? Chrysalis, I'm not stupid. They... she was wrong, we know she was wrong, but she made her choice. This isn't going to just affect you and me anymore. This isn't just about you, or the changelings. If she throws up an embargo, we're going to lose out on a lot of trade. If she somehow gets to all our other partners and convinces them to do the same, it could have massive repercussions. We could lose a lot here."

>...I know-

"No, you don't. You don't understand."

His voice dropped lower, went deeper, sadder.

"You don't understand... because just a couple trade partners isn't enough to make them reconsider. This would be bad, but they're beings who thrive on love, they won't turn them away for some lost profits. The gryphons and even the Maretonians or Saddle Arabians, that's not enough. But if it gets worse, if you... I know you never mean to, you don't want to, and you wouldn't. But sometimes... you just do."

>I-

"You cause some problems sometimes, you make things worse sometimes, and maybe my subjects might just ask what she did. They might ask you... go away."

Ever words was a bitter thing, every letter leaving a foul taste in her mouth. She hated it, every word, and wanted nothing more that for him to stop and never speak like that again.

>So... why did you tell her no? Why not just offer to keep me from the castle, it would make things so much easier.

"Because I don't want you to leave, damn it!"

Even if she had not been a changeling, she would have felt that. She would have felt the emotion, the feeling from the bottom of his heart, bursting out with his voice.

From there, it poured.

"I don't want you to leave! I don't want to be forced to watch you go away, understand!? I like having you around, I can admit that! I like having you here! I never want you to feel like this isn't a place for you! I want you here, I... but I'm not a tyrant, Chrysalis!"

He spat that word, his voice changing from it's low, desperate plead only for a second.

"I'm not like... him! Like he was! Or like the Queens! I can't force them, I can't control them, I won't! I can mitigate this, I can deal with this. There will be problems, but I can handle this... but if this gets worse, if this gets too much for them..."

He looked to her, with eyes desperate as a dying stallion in the desert pleading for water.

"I can't tell them no, Chrysalis. They're my subjects. I swore I would make their lives better, strive for happiness. I can't tell them I'd rather they lived in fear and misery. I can't... I can't do it. So... so don't make me, please. Don't make this any worse. Don't make it so I might have to... make you go."

He reached out to her, at last. His hoof on hers, not letting go.

"I don't want you to go."

She had been speechless, silent throughout his speech, eyes and mouth agape in shock, no longer able to bring herself to hide it with her magic as she had so many times before. She could do nothing but look to him, exposed, as he pleaded with her as loudly with his gaze as his words screamed from the top of the castle.

Time was forgotten, she would never know how long it lasted until at last the keeper of reality caught up to her, and her hoof not pressed down by his rose up to break her trance.

He could feel her heartbeat pounding though her hoof as it placed itself atop his head, burying itself in the twin-blue mane as gently as if she were holding a butterfly. She held it there, held him there, so she could look him in the eyes when she said her next words.

>I don't want to go either.

She pulled him in, his fur to her chitin, and she held him, for as long as she was able.

No matter how long it was, it was not long enough.

>I won't make it worse... but I have see them.

She released him, let him go and watched the sadness on his face when she did. Watched him feel bereft, without her grip on him any longer. Watched him look cold, without it.

>I'm telling the truth.

It was as desperate a plead to him as his own had been. Needy as a child's, and as desperate as well.

>...believe me.

He was shaking, when he did it. Slow, like frozen water trailing over the top of an icy lake, as he lifted his hoof off hers, and let her go.

Her head moved closer, so slowly he almost could not see, until he could feel the breath from her nostrils tickling his nose. She held there, so close she could nearly touch, looking right into his eyes in a gaze that would not leave. She twitched, as if she were to move forwards, and Shining found himself tensing for something, though he did not know what.

She pulled away at the last second, too quick to follow, and turned her attention to the portal that would lead her to Equestria.

"Will you... try to make it better?"

>...I don't know if I can.

He watched her be consumed by the magic, gone away before she could hear whatever it was he was preparing to say back. She went though, with resolve to if nothing else, not to make this worse.

Yet, despite the portal closing, despite the distance, despite all between them... she swore she heard it.

It stayed with her then, and she did not know if it would ever leave.

"I believe you."

She never wanted it to go.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pennydrop
"??"
'??'
~Canterlot~
~~~~

This was what she lived for.

To walk out those doors, to see those faces, as numerous as they were powerful, be it in politics, business or just plain magic. Canterlot, the crown jewel of Equestria, the diamond in the rough, and every single one of those magic wielding snobs were looking to her, rapt with attention. They were waiting on her, her every word, as if she were a royal who moved the stars themselves.

As it should be.

>Anything you want to say before I get started?

She had no illusions of doubt that the princess was behind her. While she was certainly not one to be out on the front lines in a fight, there was little chance she would stand back now that she knew what she was up against.

The princess stayed silent, and Pennydrop paid her no mind. Perhaps, at last, she had accepted the inevitable.

>Very well... Canterlot, can I have your attention!

She spoke with all the enthusiasm of a gameshow host, as happy as could be. If there was one thing a head of a multinational corporation and sometimes arms dealer understood, it was all about the presentation. She couldn't look official, not at all, she had to look like she was one of the group, like she was just as excited as they are.

She had to play her game.

~Well? What did she say!?~

A couple nervous eyes threatened to trail off to the taller pony, but Pennydrop would have none of that.

>I'm happy to say, that the princess has agreed to every single request we made!

There it was, the cheers. A refined, yet somehow still sloppy and sporadic cheer though it was. They were clearly all trying to put on as much an air of sophistication as would fit their breeding, but it was impossible to keep down the almost childlike wonder of having such a success. They were heard, they were obeyed, they mattered, that was all they cared about.

"Indeed, my little ponies, I have heard your requests, and I agree to them."


A strained grin crossed the smaller mare's face, so wide the Chesire Cat would tell her to back off, and opened her mouth to speak again, only to have herself beaten to the punch. A bit bitter, Pennydrop naturally decided to blame it on oversized lungs filled with hot air.

"Yes, you... representative?"

>I was jut who got picked.

"Oh, right, of course. Well! Miss Pennydrop has told me all of your wishes, and to be honest, I agree with them!"

More cheers, more excitement, more feeling of superiority.

~Well, it's about time!~

~I should say!~

"I of course understand you worry that your privacy or the safety of our kingdom was compromised. And though I could assure you, it was not, that all of this is just a terrible misunderstanding and nothing nefarious was done by any parties, I realize that actions speak far louder than words, do they not?"

~Here here!~

~Words are cheap, dear princess!~

"Which is why I am opening my doors to a full outside investigation to ensure nothing was compromised!... With one little exception."

Those cheers became quite mute after a time.

~...Exception?~

~I don't like the sound of that.~

The princesses eyes flickered to the side, just for a second, just for a brief flash so quickly no other could have possibly seen it, just to see. Just long enough to look to the much smaller mare.

She expected many things, perhaps a bit of excitement at the prospect of an entire crowd angry at her, thoughtfulness over more leverage, maybe even some insult that she would say this.

But to see the mare look to the crowd with a bit of worry was certainly the last thing she expected. It seemed, in this instance, she was just as worried of the rising swell that could turn into a riot just the same.

A mental note had been made.

>Princess, would you please elaborate for the group, you're being rather vague.

"Yes, of course. Ahem, the exception is, of course, that no investigation will be allowed to look at your private records, such as medical or what have you. But instead, I shall be opening up the records office and doubling the staff for all of you to personally come and take a look for yourselves that they were not tampered with or otherwise affected. After all, we can't have somebody sleuthing through an innocent pony's affairs!"

~I can agree to that.~

~Bully! I'd just as soon not have some tallywag eyeing up my business, thank you!~

The mare beside her almost frowned.

Almost.

>Well, I'm sure we can all agree to that. And the other requests?

"Ah, yes. Of course, all funding to changelings shall be examined to ensure they were of the legal nature and do not need refunded or what have you-

>And of course, the princess has agreed to ensure that no such conflict of interest is made, so she has agreed to bar any and all changelings from the premises.

~Now that's what I'm talking about!~

~Much better!~

Internally, Celestia cursed. She had gotten quicker, and in such a short time...

>Should we mention the fact that anyone who associated with them during this time is also barred? It doesn't seem necessary, right? They're smart enough to know.

~Pssshhh, well obviously!~

~What do you take us for, country ponies!?~

It never ceased to amaze her how easily tides could turn in a mob.

"Of course. Which, naturally, includes myself. But I'm sure none of you would mind that?"

They actually did seem to, she was quick to note.

>Excepting raising the sun, obviously, calm down who's ever in the back.

~I-I thought no such thing!~

>Oh, you! Anything else left?

To the crowd, it was obvious. She was asking if they had missed anything.

To the princess, the truth was obvious.

"Oh, just one more thing. Who will be heading this investigation? You?"

>Me? Oh, no no no! This is the City of Canterlot! It needs to be a native with pride, right?

~Here here!~

"Then have you picked out a suitable replacement?"

>Myself? Oh no... it doesn't matter to me who does it. I'll leave it to them, it's all the same.

Only she caught the underlying note to that. The crowd cheered, already chatting among themselves as to who would take on this task.

>So, who would like to prove the nobility of Canterlot?

'Myself.'

The crowd stopped, growing silent in an instant, parting like waves just as quickly.

From their horde, he emerged. A white, shining beacon who strode with purpose, a dashing fellow if ever there was one.

Without a seconds thought, or hesitation, he moved to the front of the crowd, and stood tall with the others.

'I shall be heading the investigation myself, if it is alright.'

>...Fancypants?

The stallion nodded, already practically drowned with smiles and looks of thanks.

~Thank goodness!~

~Fancy! Of course, old boy!~

~Bully!~

>What an... unexpected surprise. From what I've heard, you actually have a bit of a liking for the changelings, don't you?

She tried to turn the tide back, of course she did.

'I should say that I did! However.'

Dramatically, he pulled off his monocle, and wiped it on his chest.

'I rather detest deception, and I even more so detest when my affair may have been affected by parties who I could not hold responsible in the event something were to go wrong. I have always been prone to giving the changelings a chance, though you should note I've never hired one to work for myself, but if there is deception to be had, I shall bring it to light!'

~Marvelous!~

~That's our boy!~

The tide would not turn.

>Well, so long as we can ensure you're not biased thanks to your interactions with the Elements-

'Biased? Why, if anything they have spurred me on greater! I have newfound respect for dear Princess Rarity, even! It takes great courage to expose something like this, and I would shame her if I did anything less! No, if she can shine a light on any corruption, then so shall I!'

Instead, it washed right back, and drowned her out with their cheers.

>...Well then, it's decided! Good luck, Fancy! Do Canterlot proud!

She shook hooves, the battle as short as it was decided.

'Oh, I assure you, I shall... princess, good evening to you, I'm off to get everything in order.'

She gave him a single respectful nod, smiling all the while.

"I thank you, Fancy."

'Don't thank me, it's very likely I will be forced to embarrass you in some manner.'

"But will you do it anyway, if I deserve it?"

'Of course.'

"...Then you are free to."

He shared her smile, shared her nod, and moved back into the crowd. The moment he was back in, the mare's facade was back on, her smile returned, and her showmanship at it's prime.

>Well, that's it, folks! You've won! Go home, get ready to wait in line-or pay someone to do it-and good job!

It was like a war rally returning home, proud marching of everyone back to their abodes to celebrate. At first, they rushed off in waves.

Then, those remaining bled out in a low wash.

Finally, the last trickled out like drops, until only two mares remained on the front lawn of Canterlot castle.

"...Didn't expect that, did you?"

>Hmmm, can't say I did. Not that it changes anything.

So much confidence, she had to respect that if nothing else.

"Do you want to know why I was never worried, Pennydrop?"

>You're going to tell me anyway, aren't you?

"It's because all you saw was a mob to be controlled... I saw ponies, and every one of them strong, even if they don't know it yet. It only takes one voice, Pennydrop. One voice... to topple a tyrant."

>Oh ho, Celestia, I know that... from experience.

With a strut in her step, and a flip of her hair, the mare began to walk off, shooting back one last, cheery note before she was gone.

>Enjoy your vacation, Celestia... it might be a long one.

The first round had been decided.

It would not be the last.

"...You know, I hear the beaches are lovely this time of year..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
~~

It's warm glow.

It's beautiful splendor.

The magic that radiated off of it in soothing, lovely waves.

To look to it was to look not to the sun, not to heavens light, but instead something more beautiful, more wonderful, more indescribable. To look to the tree, the beacon of the very state of harmony that flowed through all beings, was to look into a wonder that had never been understood by any being, and never would be. To look to it was to know, to live, harmony.

To look to it was to know that inside, all the answers that ever were, would ever be, were held. To this tree, she gave all of her questions, and wants.

There was just one problem.

It didn't answer back.

...for it was a tree.

>... Ah' might not'a thought this one through all the way.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


DELETED SCENE
[???]
{???}
~~~

"Dash? I need you to go to Ponyville and tell AJ about what happened."

[You got it, princess!]

"And I need you to do it, fast."

[Well, you picked the best mare for this job!]

"No, you don't understand... fast."

[...Uh...]

"Bulk? Need some help."

[What.]

{I feel like I live in a world made of... pastel. Always worried I'm going to tear the canvas, always worried that something, someone, is going to break.}



{But you can take it, can't you big mare?}



{What we have here is a rare opportunity.}

[WHOA!]

Without warning, he picked her up.

{For me to show, just how strong I really am.}

[...I'm not okay with THIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiii....]

She was hurled, off into the distance.

And off... and off... and offf... and offf... and oooooofffffff....

"...think you overdid it."

{YEAH!!!!}

"..."

{...I mean, yeah probably.}

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
During->>25706643
"???"
'???'
~~~

>So did him having sex really destroy the world?... That kinda sucks.

~Hm? Oh, nooo, something else did that. It's just a funny joke.~

>Oh? What did?

~~~~

"..."

'Erm, Sugar cube, you sure you should be lookin' at that? You know what happens when you eat spicy peppers, and that was a mild one. That one there is the hottest pepper in the world, ponies have died from that!'

"Oh ho, Ingrid, but I have a secret this time."

'And what's that, 55?'

"I can't be burned... IF I'M ON FIRE!"

'...that ain't how that works-"

"GET IN MY BELLY!"
~~~~

~And then everyone just died.~

>...Who the fuck is Ingrid?

~55's marefriend, keep up!~

>Who the fuck is 55!?

~...You are so pleb.~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Nightguard1
"NG2"
~~~

*DINGDINGDINGDING!*

>...

"..."

*DINGDING DINGWHOOOoopp...BING! DINGDIGNDING!*

>...So when's he going to realize he found the common room.

"Bigger question, why is he disrespecting the "Dibs" rule. I had dibs on the pinball machine next."

>No respect, that changeling.

*DINGDINGDING!*

"...Di-"

>Dibs.

"FUCK YOU!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKEEEE!
>Luna
"Celestia'
~~~

SLAM!

>ALRIGHT, SUBJECTS! BEGONE FROM OUR PREMISES! WE HAVE THE MARACAS OF TRUTH, AND WE DO NOT FEAR USING THEM TO REVEAL ALL OF THOU'S DIRTIEST SECRETS!

"..."

>...huh. Everyone is gone?

"Everyone's gone."

>Huuhh... neat.

"..."

>...So we can-

"Are those really maracas of truth?"

>Yes.

"They can show the truth."

>Yes, sister, obviously! Why?

"..."

>...Oh, wait....

"..."

>Should we have used these sooner?

"..."

>...Well, now we feel silly-

ZAP!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMUKEH

>PD
“Screws”
~~~~

>Eh bitch!

“That’s my nickname, don’t wear it out!”

>Stuff it! I heard what you said earlier, saying I smelled like trash? Really? When you stink like a bag of corroded metal?

“I seem to recall someone not being very fond of bathing back in the hayday, Droplet. Something about a bad experience, only doing it rarely? Why do you think Fawny kept your office waaaay down the hall?”

>You ass-ramming fetishist! How DARE you bring up Mr. Fawntaine! At least I actually did something for him! I made plans, moved mountains, engineered everything he needed! What did you do besides bounce up and down the halls like a mad clown?

“Um, hello? Top mare of ACTUAL engineering? You know, mixing and splicing and all the shit that went on behind closed doors? I performed feats of magic and I’m not even a damn unicorn!”

>You're right, you're not a unicorn. You’re nothing but a washed-up dominating husk at the end of her career who’s last beacon of light is some down-on-his-luck changeling too dumb and scared to distance himself from you. Fact.

“Meanwhile, you, my dear Droplet, are a smelly, delusional fool who went from quiet and timid and worth two bits to textbook megalomaniac who’s hardly worth the drool that my pervert spews thinking about my sexy hooves. Hooves that are sexier than any of those erotic roleplaying costumes you’ve got hidden in your closet. Fact.”

>I’LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!

“BRING IT BITCH!”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKEEEEE!
>Pinkie
"AJ"
~~~

>WOOO! WE GOT UNLOCK!

"Actually, we need ya' ta' dance if we want that."

>...

"..."

>...

"..."

>....jiggle.

"Good enough.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE
>SA
"Gwen"
'???'
~~

>...Huh... never thought I would enjoy this. You think, just like, the physics of it would be awful, but you're good. I'll give you that, you're really good at this.

"Hmmm."

The door, despite being a block of crystal, somehow creaked when it opened.

'Honey? Did you get to an agreement with...'

>...

It was only a small consolation that Shining was facing the door when this happened.

'...Shining Armor, why is my wife's head in your lap?'

>I thought that would be obvious.

"..."

>Just fair warning, the whole berserker rage thing won't work.

"Ih woh.... glk... glk..."

>Damn!

'G-Gwendolyn, can you stop that... thing... you are doing.'

She shrugged, lifting her head up nice and slow, letting out quite unsettling sounds when she did so, only ending when she rose up quite a lot higher than he was comfortable with, wiped her mouth, and turned around, thankfully blocking his sight of... things.

His heart stopped when she tried to sit back down.

It did not help when he was the one who stopped her, hooves on her hips.

>Whoa there, one off. You only get one!

"What!? But Applejack got three in a row!"

>Main character.

"This is such bullshit! I want more! Give me more!"

>Nope.

Seeing her try to sit back down again was too much.

'G-gWENDOLYN! W-whyyyy? Why have you done this to me!?'

"Screentime."

'WHAT!?'

Wordlessly, a talon pointed in the air.

'... is... is that a massive eight part story, with ties to the plot, differing emotions and character development? With setup for future conflict!? We have those!?'

"I do, now."

'B-but I didn't get any of that!'

"Well, duh.... hrm."

He did not like the look on his wifes face, especially when she looked right at him.

"...You know, if he got some, I'd get some more, wouldn't I?"

>...Wellll... I guess it's not technically breaking the rules.

'W-what isn't?'

His wife just gave him that... look.

That look.

Then she got up, revealing that thing he most certainly did not want to see, and walked over to him.

She placed her talons on his cheeks, and looked him right in the eye.

"Honey? Do you want screentime?"

'...I...'

"Well? To be a character again, with stories?"

'...I... I do...'

"Well, there's only a sure way to get one, for certain. Be in a prophecy... or...'"

She tugged him, very gently, very slowly turning him.

And turning, and turning... until his back was pointed to the price.

'D-dear...'

"You don't have to, you know, if you don't want to."

'...'

"Well, Idris? Any requests?"

His pupils dilated, his breath went short, and his body rigid. Slowly... he went to all fours.

'Can... can I be in a comedy story? Please? I... I'm always so serious, I want to be in a comedy story. All of my stuff is too serious, please....'

Slowly, very slowly, his lion like tail swished to the side.

'...I want to have comedy screentime-OOF!'

A weight settled on his back, and there was hot breath in his ear.

>I'll make sure you get two.

He bent forwards, just a bit.

'T-thank you...t-...thaaaaannn....'

"Wait, doesn't this normally end with you in pain or hurt or something?"

>Normally, yes. But this is Princess Applejack.

"Which means?"

>Fixing stuff, it's all Celestia's fault...

'A-ah... ahhhhh...nggaahhhhh! N-not so fast!'

>And FUCK GRYPHONS!

'A-AHHHHHHH!'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________