Thread 30: Stories 76-88

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>Lucky Strikes
"Coco Pommel"
'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
~Random Changeling~

---

-Celestia, I have regrets.-

'Uhyeeeeah, I wiiin~'

-So many regrets...-

'You are mine, for a day!'

-Many... reg--

'Ah, quit your whining. Be humble in defeat, my newly crowned butl-- ...Ha. Ahaha.'

"What's so funny?"

-I am scared to know.-

'Not my butler for a day--'

-Oh, you're calling off the bet? How kin--

'--My maid, for a day. Ha!'

-You're joking...-

'...Do I look like I'd not embarrass you?'

-...Shit.-

"Eeeeee! I call dibs on making his outfit!! Never maid a maid uniform before!"

>I am staying well out of this

-You cannot dress me up as a maid! I am not a girl!-

'No? You sure as tartarus look like a mare to me!'

"You do have a lovely long mane and tail. They look so silky."

-A guy can't take care of himself?!-

'It's totally not like the heavy eyeliner you wear isn't helping this case, like, at all(!)'

-I like my eyeliner!-

"It makes you look cute."

-...thankyoushutuppleaseee...-

'I said it before and I'll say it again; the changeling that thought you was a girl? He can shape-shift, into anything, and he thought you were a mare.'

~Wait, 'she's' not a she?~

>GAH! Hey! How did you get out, prisoner?!

~I was hungry, I asked a guard to let me out.~

>DARN! BETRAYAL IN THE RANKS!

~So, you're not a mare?~

-NO!! S-shut-up!!-

~...You're still quite pretty.~

'Oh Celestia, my damn sides... Haha...'

~What?~

'J-just... aha... he was stomping his hoof and shouting no, and that was so girly it wasn't even funny, but then you go and say that... and, and, man, just look at that face! Fuckin' priceless...'

"Awh, he's blushing."

-T-thankyouforthecomplimentsbutP-PLEASESHUTUP-

'Aha... haa... Sorry Sash, too funny.'

-I'mgonnagotobed...-

'Heh, look forward to tomorrow!'

-Uuuugh.-

"I'll have it ready!"

~What did I miss?~

>GET BACK TO YOUR CELL!

'Eh, basically a bet on a shooting contest. He lost.'

~A guys gotta honour a bet, even if he looks like a chick.~

>C'mon, you. With me

~Isn't this done? I want to go to bed.~

"Yeah it's pretty late, sir. We won against the changelings."

>I suppose

"Yay, sleep!"

>...I'm not tired

~Wanna grab a beer or something?~

>Heck, why not? I guess I'm off duty now

~Haha, doody.~

>Immature

~I try.~
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>Rekulk
"Vekir"
'Grehm'
-Security Guard-

"VICTORY!"

>Yes indeed, sister, a great and glorious victory!

'...by forfeit.'

"Victory is victory, brother-by-mate! Bravely we arrived at the Tag of Lazers, and bravely we removed our armor because the controller of the lazers said so, and BRAVELY-"

'Terrified all the ponies and stole the helmets.'

"LIES!"

>No matter the ways, we have received the helmets, yes?

"Yes!"

Vekir holds up a large sack.

"Now I can give more than just one helmet to the helmeted one, but ALL the helmets!"

>But sister, do we not get helmets?

"...eh?"

>The helmets were for all members of winning team, yes? Then we all should get an equal amount of the helmets!

"...yeeees, brother, yeeeees...of course..."

>Good now-HEY!

'She is running away.'

>THIS IS KNOWN! SISTER RETURN WITH THE HELMET SACK!

"NEVER!"

The two older Morlocks give chase as the smaller one scurries away with the sack of helmets in her mouth. The trio race through a thoroughfare, making ponies scatter in their wake. A security guard makes the mistake of getting in the way, and yelps as Vekir leaps onto his back.

"Mercenary! Protect me from my vengeful brothers, I shall give to you many cloud sweets, dead animals, and helmets!"

-I, what!? What ARE you!? Get offa me!-

"Waaaah! Mercenary, why do you betray me!?"

>Grehm, that pony is harassing our wayward sister!

'Or she is harassing him.'

>...point. Grab her, for please!

One yoinking later...

>Many apologies, soldier for hire, our sister has a habit of...

'Stupidity.'

>Enthusiasm.

"My helmets, miiiiine..."

-You realize you can't actually wear those, right?-

>"'...'"

-Yeah, they're little helmets for the Hyperspace Hyperwars FIGURES, not actual ponies.

"...SHESHVEGH!"

>LANGUAGE!

'Truly our entrance to this park was cursed.'

>Nonsense, we survived the trials of entering better than any!

-...can I see your tickets?-

>...what is ticket?

-...I'm gonna need some back up.-

>"'RETREAT!'"
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>Chitania
"Attendant"
~~~~

>FUCKFACE!

"...Can I help you."

>I actually find it funnier you thought I meant you, but you'll do. When's this thing going to land?

"Land? Ma'am, the suns going down, Partyland reaches a higher altitude at night. It's so we can turn on the party lights for the night dancers."

>...Well, shit.

"Problem, ma'am? Do you need help finding the hotel?"

>I hate hotels.

"Ma'am, I assure you our resorts are top notch! Best of the best."

>I'm just used to sleeping elsewhere when I travel.

"Really?"

>In trees, mostly. I like trees.

"...You look weirdly well groomed for someone who likes to rough it."

>And just what is that supposed to mean!?

"Ma-Ma'am I'm sorry, I- wait... are you angry I said you looked good?"

>I'm angry in general!

"Look, if you want we are more than happy to take you to the ground, it'll just take a bit."

>...Fuck, fine, I'll just go sleep at the hotel.

"Good call."

>...Are you staring at me?

"In fear, mostly. This is not attraction, this is pure fear."

>...Good.
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>Batmom
"Dadling"
_______

>...Why are you patting yourself down?

"ACK! Don't sneak up on me like that!"

>I've... but I've been standing beside you for the past half hour now looking at you search through your holes like you really expect to find something in them.

"..."

>So. I'll ask again. Why are you patting yourself down? What's wrong?

"What's wrong? W-why, nothing of course! Nothing is what's wrong because that's what it is! Nothing. A big bowl of it, candied nothing. So stop worrying."

>I'm not worrying.

"Yes you are. I can see it. Stop it. And quit searching, we'll find them."

>I'm... not? I'm not searching for anyth-

"Because you'll find the keys to our hotel room in record time, oh yes you will! You'll find them before the lights go out and a gang of bloodthirsty clown ponies come lurching our way while ominously flipping a bit, the metal catching against the soothing moonlight."

>That was a surprisingly detailed scenario, honey.

"MY NIGHTMARES BURN LIKE ACID!"

>Dear, calm down, it's alright.

"Nonononono it's not alright because I can't find the room keys and if I can't find the room keys we can't get inside where it's safe and that leaves my wife and soon-to-be-bugspawn unprotected and open to the elements and I'll be a terrible husband slash father known for leaving his family out in the freezing cold while sex-crazed clowns hold my beloved down and take turns-"

>Oh look, I found them.

"..."

>At the bottom of our party bag.

"..."

>Yes, you can say it now.

"I love you."

>I love you, too.
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>Sucker Punch
"41"

>Where the heck IS he!?

"I have no clue, you'd think finding a purple dragon wouldn't be that hard. You sure it has to be him? I mean, the other Gun Club guys would suffice, right?"

>Well, do you see THEM anywhere either?

"I see a lot of ponies giving us a wide berth."

>Gee, I wonder why.

Sucker Punch holds up his lightning-infused hoof, 41 backs up.

"Don't point that thing at me!"

>My bad.

"Do you...feel any different?"

>It tingles a bit, but that might, y'know, be the LIGHTNING.

"Sheesh, irritable much?"

>Whatever, just help me find Spike...or hell, Princess Twilight could work too. Wait, no, NOT Princess Twilight, she's on the mend from the craziness but this right here could get me on a dissection slab!

"That is a baseless accusation of your own Princess...who I am now looking for instead of Spike."

>Oh go eat a frag grenade.

"...wait...it's night, right?"

>Getting there, Faust above we wasted all day in that stupid Fawntaine House of Flim Flam!?

"But...if it's night, people would be going to the hotel here, riiiight?"

>...

Sucker Punch facehoofs.

>I'm an idiot.

"You realize this now?"

>Aw shut up, let's...go...uhh...

"Uhh what?"

>Where's the hotel?

"..."

>...

>"Crap."
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A-sort-of omake
Based on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ttsx5squWg

>Music
"Crowd"
{Luna}
~~~~
A stagecoach pulls up to the Equestria Games Stadium. PJ looks out the window as a crowd of ponies swarm the stagecoach in the rain.

"You suck Changeling!"
"You're going to choke at the games!"
"You don't deserve to be part of the games!"
"You'll never be as good as Spitfire!"
"You're fucking going down!"
"Boooo! You don't belong here!"

PJ calmly turns away and puts on a pair of headphones shaped like beets. The music starts and the screams of the crowd fades away.

>Well you can tell everypony
>Yeah you can tell everypony
>Go ahead and tell everypony
>I'm the mare, I'm the mare, I'm the mare
>Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am
>I'm the mare, I'm the mare, I'm the mare
The royal guards try to push crowd back as PJ exits the stagecoach

>I believe every lie that I ever told
>Paid for every heart that I ever stole
PJ walks in slow motion through the angry crowd.

>I played my cards and I didn't fold
>Well it ain't that hard when you got soul (this is my world)
PJ hoofbumps a pony in the crowd that had her hoof extended.

>Somewhere I heard that life is a test
>I been through the worst but I still give my best
>Celestia made my mold different from the rest
>Then she broke that mold so I know I'm blessed (this is my world)
PJ takes out a potato and takes a big bite of it.

>Stand up now and face the sun
>Won't hide my tail or turn and run
Distorted slow motion boos
"Booooooo~"

>It's time to do what must be done
>Be a Queen when kingdom comes
A camel hawks a lugi. PJ casually dodges it and continues walking.

>Well you can tell everypony
>Yeah you can tell everypony
>Go ahead and tell everypony
>I'm the mare, I'm the mare, I'm the mare
PJ walks into the Stadium smiling.

{HEAR WHAT YOU WANT... BEETS BY DR. DRAKE}
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Non-canon preview

>Pinkie
~~~~~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CoWplXbeUw

The first day of Partyland is coming to a close with fireworks, my friends and I meeting up with Shining's group, and Cadence losing a bet with 18. In 32's dream, meets 2 in the caves. Vekir discovers the joys of cotton candy. Sucker Punch and 41 wrap up their investigation on Fawntaine and are trying to find Spike. Night time hijinks are in store for us as the anons realize how long it's going to take to complete this arc. 77 discovers how hardcore a cosplayer Cheerilee is. Silver Spoon demonstrates her dodging skills in a game of laser tag. When are we finally getting to the hotel? Find out next time in thread 31: Hotel Califoalnia...And of course, did I mention fan service?
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NON CANON
>29
"32"
~~

>It is terrible, brother! I thought I would be having a time of joy and party, but instead it is filled with woe and misery! WOE AND MISERY!

"..."

>...What?

"Shut the fuck up."
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NON CANON
>PJ
~~~

>Why the hell was I only in one story in this entire thread!?

*CRICKETS!*

>...Oh, right...
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NON CANON
>SS
"DT"
~~~~
>I'm getting a lot more parts in this arc!

"And I got a Fireworks rocket....now what should I do with this?"
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NON CANON
>Chitania
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~

>Oh, neat, backstory... wondered how the fuck I could talk to everyone like a damn cell phone...

"WHY IS YOUR LIFE SO SAD!?"

>Don't have any idea what you're talking about.

"So, are you going to do anything next go round?"

>Who knows? I might actually interact with a main character again.

"...That seems like it'll go south fast..."

>...

"Stop smiling."

>...

"STOP IT!"
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NON CANON
>55
"Actarius"
'JJ'
[Arana]
~~~~

>I'M EMOTIONAL!

"I'm... like... a character now!"

'What the fuck are you, anyway?'

[He's clearly an alicorn!]

"..."

[...Well, you are.]

"HOLY SHIT!"

'Those are going to disappear when this ends.'

"...MOTHERFUCKER!"

>...I'm complex...
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NON CANON
>56
"Luna"
_______

>Want some cocoa, Moons?

"Cocoa..? That's a bit... random. Why now?"

>'Cause now I've got time to just sit and talk with you. I'm not gonna waste it.

"O-oh...."

>So... cocoa?

"We would be delighted."
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