I think that Caleb's recent Twitch suspension is the kind of thing no one can say anything about without pissing someone else off, but whatever. Everyone's got mixed opinions.

I don't think there's really much of an argument to be made against saying that he fucked up by using a racial slur. That's absolutely a fucked up thing to do whether in private or not, whether "intentionally racist" or not. Intentions are only half the picture, the other half is that the word came into existence with the specific purpose of dehumanizing an entire race of human beings in one of the most grotesque chapters of the western world's history. I'm not a person of colour, but MitoRequiem and Iceplug explained the concept of why it's such a hurtful word to use, a hurtful action to make, and anyone reading would do well to look them up and read and listen to their words.

In fact, here you go, take it directly from them instead of from this white person paraphrasing:
https://twitter.com/MitoRequiem/status/1121477901541494784?s=19
https://twitter.com/Iocesploc/status/1120477505431973889?s=19

You can argue "it's just a word" all you want, which is of course an Olympic-level performance in intentionally misunderstanding what language even does, but really, just use another word, you've got the freedom to choose from millions of them that don't have all that attached to them.

That aside, everyone had mixed opinions on Caleb's initial apology videos. The introduction to his latest stream, to his credit, seemed very genuine in terms of apologizing for causing hurt, and relating how those close to him helped him understand why his words matter. Chat mods were out in full force, and even other chatters were telling people to screw off who were complaining about the fact that he was even apologizing. I was shown a screenshot of the rules channel in his server, which now has a stronger stance against bullying, and importantly, a stronger stance against being an asshat in any other community. These are all good things.

That being said, most people's mixed reactions are completely valid. To most people I'm close to, it's far from being enough. What (worryingly) hasn't been addressed yet is the examples of transphobia in comments made by Caleb and comments by others in his discord server, that Daniel brought to light, which I'm told has also been brought up by trans people (not to me personally) several times in the past to no avail, so quite understandably, for many people there is still plenty more that needs to be said, and for many others there is nothing he can do that will be enough to set things right.

https://twitter.com/DanielRGT_/status/1119806281097805824?s=19

The transphobic comments were personally hurtful for me. I have several close friends and family members who are transgender. In 2010 I made a concerted effort to understand the state of society for trans people, as a friend had just come out to me, and I wanted to support her as best I could as someone with no prior proper knowledge. I visited an allies-welcome weekly support group on my campus and heard the most heartbreaking stories of these people just trying to exist as their authentic selves.

(cw: in this paragraph I describe why it hurts to be a trans person reading transphobia, and recommend you skip it if reading that will hurt you)
I started watching Caleb's stream a few years ago, and I loved that his chat was full of people being complete shitters and not taking themselves seriously. That's my shit, you all know. It's not for everyone, but I found it fun. Everyone's in on the joke that we're all just being fucking idiots about video games and whatever the fuck. But then all of a sudden transgender people are brought up, and you as a trans person are excluded from being in on the joke now. Because you know that the comments people are making now, are the kind of things you have to be worried about in real life. Where you came in to just meme with other people about a video game, now you're suddenly wondering which of these people would try to kill you if given the chance. It really be like that out there for trans people, it's just an especially scary world we live in, and even scarier if you're trans. As people who aren't trans, most of us just don't have the experience to know what that feels like, and it's a really fucking shitty feeling. And when that atmosphere is being allowed, or even encouraged, with some people going as far as to target you directly, it must be understandable why for some commenters there just isn't going to be any forgiveness given.

And yet, I have seen people in this "unforgiving" camp be the subject of a lot of undue criticism, being accused of "demonizing" him or expecting too much of him. That just isn't a fair criticism at all. When somebody hurts you directly, or perpetuates behaviour that others use to hurt you directly, or even indirectly, or even by just allowing hurtful things to be said unchallenged in a space that they're responsible for, you have every right to be unforgiving. If you're not the one who was hurt, you don't get to tell those who are hurt that they're being too critical. That's their right, and it's up to them and only them to choose when to issue forgiveness as they see fit. If they decide that there will never be forgiveness, then some of you just have to learn to accept that and respect their feelings. If one issue (racist slurs) is apologized for, but another hurtful issue (transphobic dialogue) is not, people affected by the second one have every right to demand that to be owned up to as well.

I'm one who, when I have an established friendship with somebody, I don't make excuses for their mistakes, but dropping them like a hot potato is rarely an option in my mind. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and watch with the expectation that they will make good on their words. Caleb has stated that getting kicked in the ass is how he learns a lesson, and has stated that he's committed to doing better. I'm one to take people at their word when they make that promise, and go forward with the expectation that they're honestly committed to it, and I'm certainly not alone there - however, I also see several people in the second-chances camp who are -very- quick to forgive, and judgmental of others who are unforgiving, or forgiving-but-critically-cautious. No one can demonstrate change in the timespan of a day, and it's unreasonable to me to suggest that even those of us who are willing to give the benefit of the doubt owe somebody a clean slate when they themselves are aware they have work to do. Self-improvement is a lifelong job, not a to-do list to knock out over a weekend.

There always needs to be people who are willing to stick around and offer to be long-term witnesses to someone making good on their improvements. Several of Caleb's friends are doing this, and it's an important role to take. If the good people who want to help bring out the best in you all leave, then you're surrounded only by enablers who enjoy your fuckups and encourage you to keep fucking up and doing hurtful things. These are the people demanding Caleb not apologize (who, notedly, he rightfully told to kick rocks with that suggestion). These also, unfortunately, include those with malicious motivations who fight against apologies for racial slurs because they themselves and their agendas are emboldened when an influential person demonstrates any kind of racist behaviour. Nobody will ever improve if they are surrounded by that nonsense, so to those people, although they're not going to be listening to me, let the man apologize if that's what he thinks is the right thing to do. I see right through you, and you're not doing anyone any favours.

Nobody can improve themselves when the people around them actively discourage them from doing so. However, while it's important to not be an enabler of repeated mistakes, and while it's important for some people to stick around, it's also important NOT to fault anyone who chooses to just be done with somebody instead of being either of those things. Although self-improvement is a lifelong process, everyone has the right to choose to accept someone else's improved self, or choose not to if they decide the person's past actions were simply too much. We all need to learn to respect others' boundaries, and maybe understand that they probably have a good reason for not being willing to extend the olive branch. Leave those people alone and let them live their lives away from this and feel the way they feel about it. If some people don't forgive you, that's their right and that's just how it is sometimes, there are plenty of other people in the world to meet and be your improved self around.

As for me, I think first steps are just that, first steps. What I'd like to see personally is an apology for the stuff Daniel pointed out, and a continued commitment to what I saw yesterday. I'm someone with almost infinite patience for most people, but that patience exists because I expect to eventually see the best. In reality, improvement takes a lifetime. I always like to be the one to be around when it happens, but I certainly am not going to suggest everyone needs to fall right in line with me. First and foremost, we all need to look out for our own safety, health, and boundaries, and more importantly, we all need to respect those who have already chosen to do exactly that -- especially those who are the most vulnerable.