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- > ...
- "Sunset, this is the little girls section. I feel distinctly uncomfortable."
- > "Don't worry, as long as I'm here no one will think you are a pedophile. Now what do you think would look the cutest on Twilight's dog?"
- "Her...dog?"
- > "Yeah, that little lesbian is trying to seduce Rarity. She asked me for help, and I couldn't say no to such a cute little puppy."
- "You do realize that Spike...is a male dog?"
- > "You sure? Her voice is really high and girly."
- "Yeah, I got an eyeful one time."
- > "Ew. Well, if we're not getting...him, gosh that's so weird, ah, cute underwear, is there anything you want here?"
- "What?"
- > She starts walking towards the adult underwear area of the mall
- > You follow closely behind
- > "Like, want me to get you a sexy pair of panties and a bra, so you can ironically cross dress or maybe just jack off into them?"
- > Sunset is always like this
- > Trying to be a bro
- > Can't she tell you'd rather have a sis?
- > You can never paint your nails right
- "N-no, I'm good."
- > "Already got some then? Niiiiice. You gotta let me see them sometime, I wanna know what gets your jimmies rustled."
- > Some people should not be allowed around memes
- "Anyways, let's just get out of here. You hungry? I'm hungry."
- > Hamburger for you, hotdog for her
- > She gives you a wink
- > "Guess who I am!"
- > She fellates the hotdog, bun and all
- > "I just can't stop sucking all of these cocks!"
- > Boner, now is not the time
- > You know what she's getting at
- > It was a dark day when she saw you browsing 4chan on your phone
- > Still, you feel obligated to get it wrong
- "Rarity?"
- > "Nope! Try again!"
- > She rubs the hotdog against her cheek
- > "Cocks are all I think about!"
- > You glance around, but only the Japanese guy at the sushi counter seems to have noticed
- "Pernka Po?"
- > She giggles
- > "I love how you get her name wrong, every time! So funny! No, I'm OP!"
- > You feel a dread building in your soul
- > "Because OP is a faggot!"
- > Yup, there it is
- > Nothing is sacred
- > You didn't think anything could be sacred on 4chan, but then Sunset has a special way about her
- > It'd make you angry, but your boner overrule you every time
- "What an impression."
- > "Yup!"
- > She takes a bite and almost immediately moans
- > Damn
- > You try to distract yourself with your hamburger
- > It's okay, for being mall food
- > Your eyes are glued to her face
- > Be Sunset Shimmer
- > You had thought that all your sadistic tendencies, your love of power and control would be wiped away in the friendship beam
- > You have learned that is not the case
- > You love the way Anon squirms when you give him a boner
- > The emotional pain when you ham-fistedly force memes into everyday conversation
- > Sometimes you call him right before you get in a shower
- > "Anon, I'm totally going to pee in the shower."
- > "Anon, what sound does the beta rooster make? Cuck."
- > If you're really lucky, you can hear his frustrated scream right before he hangs up
- > It wasn't a sex thing before, when you were queen of the school
- > Now though, you just imagine Anon squirming, or suffering through another bad joke
- > Shower time is always fun
- > Now what were you doing?
- > Oh yeah
- > You hold out the hotdog towards Anon
- "Want a bite? It's reeeaaaallly good."
- > Be Anon
- > She made an offer you can't refuse
- > You lean forward and take a bite, your tongue caressing the teethmarks she left behind
- > Are you being weird about this?
- > You are being weird about this
- > Still, gotta act casual
- > You chew, nodding slightly
- > "Looks like someone else likes to fill their mouths with wieners."
- > You swallow
- "Says the girl who ordered the hotdog."
- > She shrugs
- > "I'm a girl, I'm allowed to like cocks."
- "Whatever."
- > You back to eating, Sunset following suit
- > About halfway through, you realize something
- > You rotate the hamburger, switching to the uneaten side
- > You lower your head and start licking the mustard from between the meat and the bun
- > She falters mid-bite
- > "What are you doing?"
- "Eating out."
- > Two can play at the pun game
- > She glances around nervously
- > "Come on, stop that! It's weird."
- "You're blushing. Jealous of the hamburger?"
- > This is surprisingly fun
- > "Seriously, stop, the Japanese guy is watching."
- > You look up, and meet his eyes
- > You nod at him
- > He nods back
- "Naw, we're cool. Now if you excuse me, my tongue is scheduled for some deep sea diving."
- > You pleasure that hamburger with long, deep tongue strokes
- > Finally she just snatches it out of your hands
- > "You can have my hotdog, I am confiscating your lunch."
- > She takes a bite out of your burger
- "You do realize my tongue has been all up inside there, right?"
- > Her blush deepens
- "Deep inside, covering the meat with my saliva."
- > "Shut up."
- > You take a bite out of her hotdog
- "Do you have a ladyboner thinking about my tongue now?"
- > Haha, there are no brakes on the teasing train!
- > She won't meet your eyes
- > Sunset shifts a little in her seat
- > Wait
- "You really do have a ladyboner?"
- > Her face turns beet red
- > "Sh-shut up!"
- > You lean back in your chair, mind blown
- > It all makes sense now
- "You're actually shy? That's it, isn't it? You wanted to model lingerie, but you lost the nerve and made up some lie about thinking Spike was a girl!"
- > She puts the hamburger down and glares at you
- > "That's not it at all! I was just..."
- > She pauses
- "It's alright, Sunset, really. I like you. If you want to be my girlfriend, I'm totally on board."
- > She buries her face in her hands
- > She's pretty cute when she's embarrassed
- > You are Sunset Shimmer and everything has gone wrong
- > You are the one who is supposed to be making all the innuendo!
- > He's not supposed to be erotically removing condiments from sandwiches
- > Oh god, he went down on a hamburger
- > And now you have some of that hamburger in your stomach
- > You might be grossed out if you weren't so turned on
- > There has to be a way to salvage this
- > What's the bro thing to do?
- "N-no homo."
- > He laughs
- > "Unless you are secretly a man, you just implied yes hetero."
- > Abort! Abort!
- "I just remembered, I have to go do something, it's been nice eating you!"
- > Wait
- "Eating with you! No, ugh, goodbye!"
- > You grab your purse and powerwalk away
- > Your name is Anon, and today was a good day
- > Perhaps you'll call her tomorrow morning, right before you take a shower
- > Your name is Sunset Shimmer, and everything is under control
- > After sleeping on it, you realize that nothing has really changed
- > Anon is Anon, and a boy, so you have the advantage
- > You stand naked in your bathroom, phone in your hand
- > Is your heart supposed to be beating so fast?
- > Was this how it always was, and you just didn't notice?
- > You push the thought from your mind
- > With a decisive twitch, you hit Anon's number
- > "Hello?"
- > You smile involuntarily at the sound of his voice
- > You can do this
- "Hi Anon! I just wanted you to know how much I value our friendship."
- > Yes, this is how it goes
- > "That's nice of you. I value our relationship too."
- > Yes, friend zone established
- "So, Anon. My parents aren't home, "
- > Which isn't a lie, they just happen to be ponies in another dimension
- > You can hear his breath quicken at the news
- > You get a little shiver of pleasure at the thought
- "And I need a big, strong man to mow the lawn."
- > Perfect, the old bait-and-switch
- > "You know, I'm onto you now."
- > Your blood runs cold, yet oddly you find your arousal growing
- > "You just want my sweaty, hot bod all to yourself. I'll be right over."
- "No! I mean, "
- > What was the point of this call anyhow?
- > He laughs and hangs up
- > Crap
- "I just wanted your tortured psyche."
- > You set the phone by the sink, no longer feeling up for a quick shower
- > Everything is just muddled inside
- > Still, you should do something, you are naked
- > You turn on the bath faucet, waiting for the hot water to get going
- > You eye the column of water thundering into your tub
- > That just might be what you need to clear your head
- > You lower yourself into the shallow water
- > It takes a little sliding, but you rest your legs up on the wall on either side of the faucet
- > Water cascades inside you, filling you up with firm but gentle pressure
- > You lay back, losing yourself in the sensation
- > Unbidden, images of Anon come to your mind
- > Skin glistening with sweat, muscles rippling
- > H-hard to believe he thinks you're shy
- > You shove the images away
- > The insistent pounding of the water makes it hard to concentrate
- > The thought comes, ' He'd be gentle. '
- > You can just imagine him kissing your cheek, your nose
- > Your hands on his chest
- > He pecks your lips, but your tongue surges into his mouth
- > He pulls back in surprise and you hold your breath
- > He grins
- > The next kiss has you tingling all over, toes curling in-
- > Wait
- > Are you really fantasizing about Anon?
- > You come to yourself with your hands positioned rather intimately, your hips bucking against the waterfall
- > You are so close
- > Fuck it
- > Anon buries himself deep within you, whispering your name in worship
- > You hook your ankles behind his back, your every curve pressed up against his firm masculinity
- > Your heart pounds, his fevered breath ghosting across your ear
- > "Sunset."
- > It's a distant sound, muffled by your building climax and the limits of your imagination
- > "Sunset!"
- > Your body is wracked with waves of pleasure, a tributary flow to the torrent in your womanhood
- > "Sunset!"
- > Wait, that's not your imagination
- > You hear the front door open
- > "Sunset, are you alright?"
- "Uh, yes, I'm fine!"
- > Crap crap crap
- > You turn off the faucet and stagger out of the tub
- > "Oh, okay. Sorry for breaking in."
- "It's-it's fine."
- > You grab a towel and gain a semblance of modesty
- > You step out of the bathroom, and
- > "Oh."
- > You turn slowly to find Anon, standing at the end of the hall, eyes wide
- > You point a stern finger at him, your other hand tightly pressing the towel above your bust
- "Don't even think about kissing me!"
- > He holds up his hands defensively
- > "Gonna be honest here. I'm not doing a lot of thinking right now, and it certainly isn't about kissing. Well, it wasn't."
- > Your eyes focus on his pants
- > Yep, that's a boner
- > You wonder how bi-
- "Stop it! Get out of my head!"
- > "Okay?"
- > You storm off to your bedroom to get some clothes and maybe some dignity
- > Well Anon, this is not how you expected your yard work/booty call to go
- > So while Sunset presumably puts on clothes, you go sit on the couch
- > When she does come out, she's in jeans, maybe a shirt, but definitely a fluffy, white winter coat
- > Odd
- > First things first though, establishing why she asked you over
- "So, do you really need me to mow the lawn, or did you want me to mow your lawn, or what?"
- > She sits on the other end of the couch and puts her face in her hands
- > "I don't know, okay?"
- > Hmmm, this is a little serious
- "Alright, how about what -were- you hoping for, back when you called me?"
- > Sunset takes a deep breath and lowers her hands
- > "Honestly? I wanted you to have a case of the blueballs again."
- > Huh
- "And where does your bathing figure into this? And why is only the back of your head wet?"
- > She gingerly touches her hair, sensing the difference
- > She looks you square in the eyes, daring you to doubt her next answer
- > "It's a girl thing."
- > Unfortunately for her, she's been your "bro" for a while, so you know a fair bit about girl things
- "Cramps, huh?"
- > "No! I mean, yeah, cramps. It started yesterday, that's why I had to go so suddenly."
- "Isn't your period usually about two weeks from now?"
- > Her face colors
- > "How do you know about that?"
- > You roll your eyes
- "It's when you demand 'brocolates' and have me make you cinnabro tea. Now what's really going on?"
- > She just sits there, fidgeting with the coat sleeves
- > You wait a bit, watching her face
- "Maybe wearing a winter coat in the middle of the summer isn't a great idea."
- > Sunset glares at you
- > "I'm fine!"
- > You raise your eyebrows at that
- > You do have a theory, but it's a bit of a long shot
- "Is it that you thought you were a lesbian, but then you realized you are also attracted to me?"
- > She stares at you blankly
- > You stare at him blankly
- > That is the most absurd, ridiculous,
- > Halfway reasonable? Surprisingly useful explanation
- > Sunset Shimmer smiles, a beautiful smile
- > "That's it exactly."
- > Nailed it
- "I get it. You don't want to go too fast with your suddenly hetero feelings. How about we spend today like we normally do, with Super Smash Brothers catfights?"
- > She grins at that
- > "Promise you'll be gentle?"
- "Get real. I'm going to nail you so hard with Samus."
- > "You can try, but you'll be lucky if I let you get a shot off."
- > It's the sixth match, and you are killing Anon with the Wii Fit Trainer
- > It's not going to be like it was before, he isn't oblivious now
- > Still, he thinks you want to take it slow, and there is so much you can do with that
- > It's a useful lie, and you need to try it out, to see if you can still manipulate him
- > Samus claps from her lowly position in the final rankings
- "Hey, you will be gentle, right?"
- > He gives you a smile and nudges your shoulder with his
- > "I'll be what you want me to be."
- > You unzip your winter coat, catching the way his eyes drift to your bosom
- "Good."
- > You still have him wrapped around your finger, just as his girlfriend rather than his bro
- > You can live with that.
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