I remember everything. My life as a kid was pretty "rad" as the cool kids would call it. I was friends with everyone in my grade. One day I was walking home and a few meters from my home I found a pink backpack. It looked like it would carry all the Kindergarten needs like crayons. I just thought "Meh." and took a grab into the front pocket. I took out a used diaper. I was grossed out as hell. I chucked it across the road and hit the windshield of a pickup truck. I ran like hell into my house and locked the door and got a knife. I watched The Shining last night and probably expected a guy named Johnny to bust in the house and kill me. After a few minutes I realized I was just overreacting. I put down the knife and saw the pink backpack. I must have brought the backpack in while I was running for my life. I sat down and wondered where I should hide the backpack. I ruled out the garbage can because my dad would see it. I had an older brother but he was really chill. Also he took marijuana. I told him that he should stop it, and get some help, and that all the winners don't do drugs and if he still does drugs Mr. T will beat him up, but he never listened. I heard the lock open a few seconds later. At first I thought it was the pickup truck guy but then the door opened and it was my brother! He sped up towards a wall and rammed it screaming "OH YEAH!!!!!!" like the Kool-Aid Man. My bro then ran up to his room and closed the door. When the dust cleared I saw a room. It looked like some kind of boiler/AC room. I stepped inside it and took a view of the new BAC room (Boiler Air Conditioning) There was a recliner to the left, the appliances in front of me, and a huge drawer unit. I then thought of the perfect place to hide the backpack. I put the backpack into the drawer unit and plopped down on the recliner. I just lazed there for like 5 minutes. Then I thought of a huge flaw in my plan. How the heck is my dad gonna not notice a giant hole in the wall. I also thought about where the hell my dad is. I called him on my top notch Nokia 1610, and he said that he was at a bar in northwest Alabama and that he was gonna be back in a few months. I hung up on him and thought to my self, "How the hell is he in Alabama, we live in CANADA!" "How did he go from Canada to Alabama in the amount of time I'm at school?" I got out a map and by using my math skillz, it would take him 16 hours if he used the station wagon! I decided to ignore the fact that he got to Alabama in 7 hours and decided to clean up the giant hole in the wall. When I was about halfway done I heard moaning noises coming from my bros bedroom. I went up to investigate and creaked open my brother door and just saw a black screen and my bro getting mad at a VHS tape. After an hour or two I finally made it look good. When in reality I just threw all the debris at a stray cat. When I went to school the next day nobody wanted to talk to me. I just stood there alone. After a few weeks when my dad came back, he walked threw the door and didn't notice. I still think he was too drunk. 20 years later, I was watching a video on childhood memories in the same family house, when I remembered the pink backpack. I rushed to the drawer and sure enough, the pink backpack was in it. This time, I was prepared. I got out some latex gloves, a place mat, and some antibacterial lotion. I also got Domino's for some reason. I opened the backpack and dumped out all of the contents onto the place mat. There were 2 diapers that were covered in fecal matter, a pencil case, a photo album, a bag of marijuana and a Jurassic Park coloring book. I opened the photo album and inside there were pictures of me sleeping, from age 5 to 28. I was 28 at the time. I also lived alone. I then got that dreaded feeling of being watched. I felt a sharp knife on the front of my back, and I blacked out. I slowly opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend Maria. She was asking if I was okay and stuff but I didn't pay attention to that. I say a dark figure behind her. I yelled "BEHIND YOU!" I got up and RKO'd the person. I called the cops and they arrested him. Turns out he was the Zodiac Killer. After a few months I turned completely normal. I also gave the marijuana back to my bro.