BATTLESHIP

>Take fluffy pony to movie
>It's Battleship
>Sit in the very back, in an effort to distance fluffy from the action on-screen and possibly reduce the crying factor
>nope.jpg
>First scene with explosions, fluffy pony is dying in your arms
>MEWLING
>COOING
>SHOOTING PLACENTA OUT IT'S PONY PUSS (You can't even explain that one)
>This carries on through the first scene
>Now, usually people in a movie can angriy ignore the dry yelping of a baby
>But Fluffy Ponies always talk as they cry in a movie, whining, "HEWP, HEWP FWUFFY, MOMMA!", "FWUFFY SCAWED!!!", "NO WIKE BA' NOISES", "PWEEEEESEEEE HUGGIES!!!" in a voice with the pitch and tone of those that make up the studio audience of Blues Clues
>It's infuriating
>You're trying to pet her as hard as you can to soothe her childish worry, but it's not working at all
>Inevitably, a man in front of you turns around
>"Look, lady, this movie suck serious donkey dong, but I paid my money for it and I'm gonna watch it, so could you PLEASE take that fucking thing out of here!"
"Buh-, but I paid my money too..."
>"Who cares, the movie sucks!"
>You completely agree...
>But...
>...Liam Neeson... God damn it, he makes your knees like Jello
>Lots of people are booing you and your fluffy pony now
>There's only one way
>You pop the top off your $12 small Pepsi Max and dunk your fluffy pony's head into it
>At least it died under the sweet, refreshing aroma of Pepsi Max
>Everyone in the theater applauds your performance and you all enjoy the rest of this shitty movie
>Pick up a new fluffy pony on the way home
>It watches you schlick to Liam Neeson on the internets
>Everything went expeditions