Lucky Just Got Luckier

Lucky Just Got Luckier

It was a very fine day in the temperate forests of Tikia. There was a hole in a Tikian Maple Tree; there was also a gold-gilded door. Inside that hole lived a very frustrated leprechaun named Lucky. Lucky got sick and tired of being caught by those meddling kids, so he moved to the abandoned, vast forests of Tikia.

But lately rumors spread and then children started to seek the cereal-loving leprechaun. It seemed like every week some group of kids just catch him and jack his damn marshmallow-rich cereal.

Lucky slammed his fist on the island of his kitchen. "I can't take it anymore! I thought I would be left alone when I moved here! It's time for some desperate measures! By Protuitis I will ask those three witches that assisted Macbeth to make sure that those kids will never steal me source of happiness again!" The leprechaun rubbed his hands and cackled the most evil cackle he could come up with.

Meanwhile on Mt. Krokorok, the three witches Morsa, Misera, and Maluma are just watching other people's suffering in their cauldron.

"Look at all those miserable people." Said Morsa.

"They should've been careful what they wished for." Said Misera.

"Wait! I see something… Something green this way comes…" Said Maluma.

And at that moment, Lucky jumped out of the cauldron. The three witches were startled and fell back. "Is this the place where the witches reside?"

"Foul dwarf! How did you get here!?" Asked Misera.

"Tell us your purpose!" Yelled Morsa.

"And you won't be harmed." Said Maluma.

Lucky explained. "Well I jumped through the reflecting pool to get here. And I came here to seek your assistance." The leprechaun helped the witches get back up.

"What kind of assistance do you require?" Asked Maluma.

Lucky formed his hands into a triangle and then pursed his lips. "Well it's kind of complicated, it's a problem with kids… They keep stealing me Lucky Charms and I don't know if I can't take anymore of this!"

"You came for us just for some tooth-rotting grain!?" Misera complained in disbelief.

"You're a fully-fledged adult! Why do you need OUR assistance with just some mere children!" Yelled Morsa.

"Wait a minute, ladies let's compromise!" Said Maluma.

The three witches huddled together.

"Do we seriously have to do this!?" Whined Misera.

"Have faith in me, this is our chance to play mind games with a leprechaun!" Said Maluma.

"Are you sure? Won't Hecate scorn us for performing this act of trickery?" Asked the concerned Morsa.

"You know how much she enjoys the suffering of dwarves, especially leprechauns!" Suggested Maluma.

"But what shall we do?" Asked Misera.

"We'll find a way…" Said Morsa.

The three witches separated and turned to Lucky.

"Ignore our past conflict, we will assist you with your problem." Said Maluma with a toothy grin.

Lucky giggled and jumped with glee. "Oh joyous day! Oh ladies! How will I get me Lucky Charms back?"

"We shall give you strength of a thousand men, speed of a peregrine falcon, and the voice of twelve howlers!" Said Maluma.

"But there is a catch, you have to give us your marshmallows for this spell to work! One of each type!" Said Misera.

"O-Ok! I have them in me pocket!" Lucky dropped the following items in the cauldron: A pot of gold, a blue moon, a rainbow, a diamond, a comet, a balloon, a horseshoe, a heart, an hourglass, and finally a clover hat.

"Excellent! Now let us do the rest!" Said Maluma.

Maluma started mixing the marshmallows.

"Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble!" Said Maluma.

"A pot of gold for some riches, a blue moon for some bitches!" Said Misera.

"A rainbow for some color, a blue diamond for his mother!" Said Morsa.

"A comet to reach the heavens, a balloon to cross the seas of seven!" Said Maluma.

"A horseshoe to outrun Sonic, a heart to enhance this tonic!" Said Misera.

"An hourglass to beat Father Time, a clover hat to commit the most heinous crime!" Said Morsa.

"Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble!"

The three sisters yelled out at the top of their lungs. At that moment, an energy serpent came out and went inside Lucky.

Lucky felt a new sensation. Not just one sensation, many sensations! He felt relaxed, tense, constricted, dark, hollow, energized, heavy, cold, burning, pounding, dizzy, queasy, and nauseous. It's hard to believe that such a small leprechaun can feel so many sensations at one time!

"What the hell's going on!? What have you done to me!? Are you sure that this is going to work!?" Said that panicked leprechaun.

"Don't worry my friend, we're making you better!" Reassured Maluma.

Then, Lucky started to undergo a life-changing transformation. His hair becoming a golden yellow, it straightened, becoming longer than Rapunzel's! His scarf became an anaconda, ready to strike at anyone who wanted to mess with his new owner! His boots became high heels, his hat becoming an emerald fedora, and he had grown a mustache and a beard even Chuck Norris would be jealous of! He also became more muscular. His calves were like the legs of a bull, except stronger! His torso and arms became chiseled like a stone statue! He grew an extra three feet or so. He practically became indestructible! His voice also got deeper, with him sounding more like a Scottish nobleman than a leprechaun.

"Wow! Look at me! I feel powerful! I feel invincible! I feel pretty!" Lucky screamed in glee.

"We're glad you're satisfied. Now go! We have stuff to attend to!"

Said Maluma.

"Sure!" Lucky burst through the wall and slid down the 60,000-foot volcano as if he were riding a surfboard.

When he reached the base of the mountain, he wanted to try his new powers on the king of the land, Joseph McDonald. Lucky wanted revenge on the king for taking the last of his Lucky Charms.

Meanwhile, back at the summit. The witches have watched as the leprechaun on steroids slid down the volcano.

"Hook, line, and sinker!" Said Maluma.

"That muscular oaf doesn't even know what's coming to him!" Misera cackled.

"Maluma, since he's going to kill the king, should we warn the cavalry?" Morsa suggested.

"Great idea Morsa! Misera! Disguise yourself as the most beautiful dame and transport to the king's strongest knights, and tell them that a burly, blonde leprechaun that has a snake around his neck is going to slay the king." Said Maluma.

"Well of course eldest sister! I'll be sure to tell them!"

Misera transported to the keep of the castle of King Joseph McDonald. "This is going to be a cinch!" The witch transformed herself into the most beautiful dame in all of Tikia. She walked up to the knights and rubbed one of their cheeks.

"S-State your business here!" Stuttered the flustered knight.

"Well, I came to warn you about a threat to the king." Said Misera in a seductive voice.

"W-What threat!?" Said the shocked knight.

"A threat like no other! A threat that was only created by the vilest of witches! That threat is a giant leprechaun with a familiar that looks like a frisky serpent! I saw him slide down and now he's on his way here to slay the king!" Explained Misera.

The knight put his hand on her shoulder. "We'll be right on it beautiful dame!" The knight turned to the others. "Men, prepare your battle stations!" Misera came out of the keep and transported back to her abode.

"I'm back!" Announced Misera.

"Well that what quick." Said Morsa.

"Did you convince the knights?" Asked Maluma.

"Don't worry, I don't think that Lucky will be lucky no longer!" Said Misera, turning back to her normal self. The three sisters went to their cauldron and watched as Lucky ran to the castle.

"This will be the greatest show we'll ever see!" Said Morsa.

"Indeed." Said Misera.

"Prepare yourself Lucky, because you're about to get thrashed!" Said Maluma.

Lucky finally arrived and busted through the keep wall and encountered the platoon of knights, ready to defend.

"Well, well, well! Look who's here!" Said the Captain of the knights.

"Out of me way! I'm here to get me Lucky Charms your king stole from me!" Announced Lucky in his best Batman voice.

"Can't you just make some more? It is your cereal!" Said the captain.

"It ain't that easy to make you know! It's quite the complicated process!" Protested Lucky.

"And what? Do you not have the time to make it? Are you too busy trying to figure out where to hide your pot of gold?" Questioned the captain.

That enraged the leprechaun. He never had a pot of gold in his entire life.

"Oh, you shouldn't have said that LADDY!" Said Lucky. "You just made me angry! And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!"

"Oh yeah... Are you going to use your magical marshmallows to beat us?" Said the captain sarcastically.

"Nope." Lucky grabbed the captain by the neck and proceeded to head butt him with tremendous force. Just one head butt was enough to crack the captain's skull.

Lucky dropped the dead body and charged at the now cowardly knights.

"P-Please don't bash our brains!" Pleaded one knight.

"Or smash our scrotums!" Pleaded another.

"Too bad. All of the king's forces will die the most painful way possible." Said Lucky.

All the knights whimpered as Lucky slowly approached them with a menacing grin.

"Say your last prayers, because they'll never be heard again!"

The three witches watched in shock as the rampaging leprechaun violently slaughtered the knights. After Lucky was done with the knights, he teleported to the throne room, where the king is sitting in his throne.

"Why didn't I teleport here in the first place? Oh well. The slaughter was fun!" Said Lucky.

The king quickly stood up from his throne. "Did you say that you singlehandedly took down all my forces!?"

Lucky nodded. "I came to take back what's mine! Me Lucky Charms!"

The king made a face of disbelief. "You did that for just some stupid cereal!? Who does that!?"

Lucky smirked. "Someone who has a life!"

"That doesn't make any sense!" Whined the king.

"It doesn't have to! I'm calling the shots now! Sick 'em my anaconda!" Commanded the leprechaun.

The anaconda lunged at the king and wrapped itself around him. It squeezed every last of his breath. The king then died of asphyxiation. The anaconda swallowed the corpse and got back on Lucky's shoulder, leaving the crown behind.

"Well look what we have here! His crown!" Lucky then put on the crown, it fitted perfectly on his head. "Perfect, a crown fit for a TRUE king!" Said Lucky.

Suddenly, the three sisters appeared out of thin air in front of him.

"That was quite the performance Lucky…" Said Misera.

"Indeed. You have slain the king!" Said Maluma.

"But now it's time to pay the price." Said Morsa.

"But I thought I already did! I gave you me marshmallows!" Said Lucky.

"There's a hidden fee. Give us the crown, or we'll take away your powers!" Demanded Maluma.

Lucky didn't want to lose his godly powers, so he put his head down and gave the crown to Maluma.

"Excellent! You made a great choice! Now leave this castle!" Said Misera.

Lucky did so.

Lucky was walking through the vast grasslands. "What am I to do? One leprechaun against three witches? That's an unfair fight! Unless I can get some allies…" He then saw a large Olorotitan grazing in the fields.

"That's it! I can use that hadrosaur as a steed!" Whispered Lucky, not trying to startle the creature.

He slowly walked up to it and offered it some Lucky Charms he had in his pocket. The Olorotitan sniffed the cereal; she liked the smell and proceeded to eat it directly from his hand.

"That's it, good girl!"

Lucky pat the dinosaur on the back. He then put reins on the Olorotitan. She bit the mouthpiece and Lucky mounted on the saddle and grabbed the reins.

"Alright lassie! Let's get my crown back!"

Lucky kicked the Olorotitan on her sides and she then galloped into the horizon...