Ninjagarten

    In this alternate version of Boruto: Naruto the Movie, Boruto didn't get off the hook so easily after cheating on the chuunin exams. When Naruto suspected that something was awry during his son's fight with Shikadai, he had Himawari use Byakugan on her brother after Hinata strangely kept making excuses as to why she didn't want to use Byakugan herself. Naruto stops the fight and strips Boruto of his ninja status when he shows that he was using a Shinobi Gauntlet. In defense of her son, Hinata goes out to the battle space and publicly reveals in front of thousands that she was the one who gave Boruto the cheating device! Naruto is abducted by Momoshiki and Kinshiki, and Sasuke takes it upon himself to pardon Boruto and enlists his help in saving Naruto like normal. But in this version, Himawari tags along with them and steals the show by being the one to land the finishing blows against her dad's captors. Boruto does some stuff too, but it's not really worthy of him becoming a village hero.


    It was now public knowledge that the Konohagakure's First Family had desecrated the sacred ritual of enlisting preteens into the military, and for the sake of wanting his family to be an example for the other villagers to follow, the Seventh Hokage took drastic measures. Without any notable heroics to excuse his actions, Boruto has his headband confiscated by Naruto once again, overruling Sasuke's decision (why did he think he had the authority to do that anyway?). Naruto stripped his wife of her chuunin rank and his son of his genin rank, and even declared that all of their Academy credits were invalid. In a sentence that would serve as punishment, atonement, and a chance at redemption, Hinata and Boruto were made to retake Konohagakure's very first step in becoming a ninja: Attending ninjagarten. Now, on every school day, the young boy and adult woman are dressed in juvenile smocks with bright yellow hats to match their fellow ninjagarteners, with whom they line up with every morning to walk to their new school. Each and every time, there is no shortage of snickers and jeers from those who know of the two overgrown ninjagarteners' crimes, as the two naughty perps keep their burning-red faces down.


    Instead of learning cool new jutsu or being a happy homemaker, the two cheaters now had to spend much of their time coloring, listening attentively during storytime, playing with building blocks, and playing duck-duck-goose. While this certainly sounds humiliating, the tasks at least seem easy, but Naruto wanted his son and wife to earn their way through the system and had a harsh curriculum made just for them. Their sessions with their coloring books were put on a short timer, and they were graded by how much they were able to color in while staying within the lines. Their teacher would call on everyone to answer questions during story time, but “Hina-chan and Boru-chan” had to be incredibly attentive as they were given obscure questions far harder than anything their pint-sized classmates were being given. Their block buildings were finely critiqued like they were engineering students. And the hardest part of all was the dreaded duck, duck, goose game. Many of the little tyrants formed a cabal against the two biggest kids in the class, and they routinely targeted them while going easy on one another (they’ll make really great ninja when they’re older). During one particularly frustrating game where the mother-of-two just couldn’t catch any of the little brats, she broke down crying and pounded her fists and feet against the floor in a tantrum. Coming to his mother’s defense, Boruto used some no-no words against his class “friends” when they had started laughing at Hinata. Their actions had earned them another trip across the teenage teaching aide’s knees, who blistered their butts without mercy (also a part of their special curriculum). After their behinds had been made searing-hot, the two were made to stand side-by-side up against a wall with their cherry-colored bottoms on display. Boruto mustered up all the nerve he had to shoot a look back at his cold-blooded classmates, but the tears in his eyes that he just couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried, and his scarlet fanny ruined any chance of him looking threatening. At least he wasn’t bawling like a baby like his mommy was.


    Things aren’t much better back home and are maybe even worse. Himawari’s prodigal skills had been recognized by the village bigwigs, and she very quickly enrolled in the Academy and became a genin. She’s already studying to become a chuunin, so Hinata and Boruto have to pick up the pace and do her chores for her. She also now has authority over both her mom and big brother and will punish them when she sees fit. While they may not be as embarrassing as having to be spanked at ninjagarten, Himawari has masterful control over the Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms technique and uses it to make sure her spankings are something her mom and brother won’t ever forget. While he may have been the one to order this punishment, Naruto seriously took Boruto’s words about not being around enough to heart and made an effort to spend more time with his family. Unfortunately for the two troublemakers, this meant that they’d have to undergo Naruto’s (powered-down) Rasengan spankings whenever he thought they were misbehaving. At least their 8:00 p.m. bedtimes would make sure they would have plenty of energy throughout the day.


    Do your best, Hina-chan and Boru-chan! You’ll graduate from ninjagarten and make it back into the Academy eventually!