Anonymous Bravo in: Cupcake Craze

Anonymous Bravo in: Cupcake Craze
“Yeah, ah don’t know, Pops. Ah’m still a little unsure about the party.”
>”Hey, don’t be so down on yourself, Anony! You think a burger’ll cheer you up?”
>You are in Sugarcube Corner, preparing for your welcome to P0nyville party with Pinkie Pie, or as you’ve taken to calling her: Pops.
“Yeah, hook me up! So long as it isn’t squirrel…”
>”Oh…” Pinkie puts the buns away and kicks a box of live squirrels back into the cupboard “Maybe you’d like a cupcake instead!”
>She zips into the kitchen. You can clearly hear a cow, a chainsaw, a clown, hammers and nails and an engine.
“Sounds like there’s already a party-HUH!”
>Pinkie Pie comes out with a rainbow colored cupcake.
>”Howzabout this?”
>You take a bite.
>…
“Tastes like hair.”
>”Oh, my mistake, wrong cupcake!” Another zip in and out and she returns with a neon green cupcake with a galaxy swirl patterned frosting. “THIS is the right one.”
>You down the whole thing in a single gulp.
>It…
>You…
>The cosmos is at your control, the universe is your pawn! All that lives and breathes will submit to your tastebuds in a level of transcendent-
>You are smacked on the head.
“Hey, watch the hair!”
>”Sorry, Anon, you were ‘spacing’ out there, for a minute. Heehee!”
“Yeah, whatever. It was pretty good, what do you put in that stuff?”
>”Oh, just a little something something the Doctor provides.”
“You mean Carl? Huh. Never figured him for a baker”
>”Well silly filly, that’s because he isn’t! I only ever hold enough in stock for one cupcake at a time, so if you want another tonight, I’ll have to go have a talk with him. Now, let’s get back to your party, do you like blue streamers, or red streamers? I think you’re more of a purple person myself…”
>You can’t hear her. You’re already out the door on a mission.
>A mission…
>For cupcakes!
>You knock on Carl’s blue clubhouse.
“Carrrrl! Carl! Get out here!”
>A window opens.
>”Yyyyes, Anon?”
“Ah need more of your cupcake stuff!”
>”Star-Swirled the cupcake’d frosting?”
“Yeah, whatever it is. Ah need it for tonight!”
>”Why on Equestria would you need something as potent as that? For that matter, how did you get ahold of it in the first place?”
“Ah don’t think you understand, Carl. Ah NEED that cupcake stuff!”
>”Reeeally now…” he opens the door and comes outside “…well if you’re so sure, then we’ll need to go hunting for ingredients.”
“Uh huh, uh huh. Ingredients, hunting, let’s go.”
>Minutes later, the two of you are face to face with the entrance to the Everfree forest.
>”Now I must warn you, Anonymous, that the necessary ingredients are very dangerous, and you must follow my directions exactly.”
“Uh huh, sure, let’s go already.”
>You’re so close to that cupcake that you can smell it…
>Actually, you can smell it!
>Using your sudden surge of scent related powers, you leap to the ground and snort wildly, tracking the position, ending in a pointing pose.
>”What is it Anon, have you got a scent?”
“Arf arf!”
>”I can’t understand you.”
>You get up and bound into the forest.
>”Well I guess that’s a yes!”
>By the time Carl…err, Doctor Whooves catches up to you, you are sniffing your way to a tree.
>”Alright Anon, how is it you have a scent? I never even specified what we’re going after.”
>You’ve found it.
>You stop in front of a tree, pawing at it with one of your hands.
“RRRRRARF! GRRRRRR…”
>Carl raises an eyebrow.
>”I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
“Nuh uhhhh…”
>You look up the tree again.
>Empty.
>The tree next to it has something in it.
“Well, whaddya know.”
>Doctor Whooves bucks the tree once, and down comes a giant scorpion with a moustache.
>”Uhh…woops. Close, but no cigar. Sorry about that, Reginald.”
>The scorpion puts a monocle on and skitters back up the tree, muttering and squinting at you.
“You know that guy?”
>”Never met him before in my lives.”
>The scent is back.
>You walk along a trail until you come across a bush.
>”Is it in the bush, boy?”
“No. Duh.”
>You put your hand in the bush and split your fingers like it’s a windowshade, and peek through to the other side.
>A giant lion is licking its paw…and shaking its scorpion tail.
>”Ah, that’s the thing we’re after right there, manticore spit!”
>Well, better get started, eh?
>You roll up a sleeve, and elbow the bush, shattering it.
>You leap through and roll, coming up in a kung-fu pose.
“Ahm gonna warn you once, and only once: hand over your spit and you won’t get hurt! Ah know karate-HIH-HAH-HUH-and ah ain’t afraid to use it!”
>The manticore takes one look at you, and returns to licking itself clean…there.
“Aww, ohhhh, come on, man! Don’t you have any privacy? Uggg…”
>”Anon, I think you’ll find it best taken care of in my hand-er, hooves.”
“No, ah got it, Carl.”
>You turn back to the giant cat/bug thing.
“Here kitty kitty, nice kitty.”
>As you sneak close to it, it opens its mouth wide, allowing you to see inside.
“Wow, that’s a lotta spit.”
>Just as you put your hands on either side of its maw, a blinding flash occurs, and three figures step out before the light recedes.
>”Ah told ya we was takin the wrong turn, Larry!”
>”Don’t blame me for YOUR mistakes, Buck.”
>”Guys, calm down, we’re in the right place. We’re supposed to keep the last human from…”
>The three figures see your head in the manticore’s mouth as you turn to see them.
“Yyyesssss?”
>“Nevermind, I’m not dealing with this one.”
>The three figures step back into the light.
>”Are you sure that leaving is such a good idea, Otto? He looked to be in danger.”
>”He’s as dumb as he always was, there’s nothing wrong with the time stream.”
>The light flares up once more and they are gone.
“What was that all about? Who cares, manticore spit time.”
>You whip a glass out from your pockets and put it under one of the manticore’s fangs, then pull down on the fang next to it.
>Spit pours down from the first fang, and once you have a full glass, you take your other hand off of the manticore’s jaw, and it snaps shit like a rubber band.
“Well that wasn’t so har-”
>”RRRRRRROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!!!”
“Ok, maybe it’s time to go.”
>Carl and yourself exit the Everfree forest breathlessly, and you pass the cup to Doctor Whooves.
“GO! Take it to Pops! She’ll know what to do!”
>Carl gives you a salute and gallops off towards Sugarcube corner.
>The manticore sneaks up behind you and grabs you in one paw.
>As it brings you up to its face, the manticore snorts, leaving snot all over your chest.
“Ewwww, grosssss…”
>Content that its revenge ws enacted, it punts you away from the forest, brushes its paws off and walks back into the Everfree to finish its “alone time”.
>You are Pinkie Pie.
>According to a shaky tail, Anonymous was due back any second now.
>Well, of course it’s Anonymous, who else could it be? Doctor Hooves already brought the ingredient, and the cupcakes were prepared.
>5…
>4…
>3…
>2, lights off…
>1…
>You are Anonymous.
>You are hurtling towards Sugarcube Corner.
>Hey, at least it saved you the hassle of walking.
>With a crash and an “Ow.“ you enter Sugarcube Corner.
>It’s dark…
>”SURPRISE!”
>The lights flash on, and you can see the entirety of P0nyville all sitting in attendance.
“Did it work, doctor? Tell me the cupcakes are gonna make it!”
>Carl comes out holding the tray of galactic cupcakes in between his teeth.
>”Don’ wrry, hh got thss!”
“Careful Carl. Careful carl! CAREFUL CARL!”
>He trips and the whole mess ends cupcake first on your snot-covered shirt.
>You can’t even speak.
>You’re frozen in horror.
>”So, were you surprised? Were ya, were ya? I bet you were, so how happy are you? Everyp0ny, and I mean EVERYP0NY in P0nyville showed up to welcome you!”
>You begin to cry.
>They’re gone…
>”Aww, look at that girls, he’s so happy, he’s crying!”
END