The Girl Abandoned By Ideals

I'll ask this question one last time to you
"How many times must I kill that side of me"
How many more times...
Do I need to keep doing this?

It's never been a fun experience in the first place
Humans are prone to emotions and can be rational
So why must I continue this accursed path
Of irrational decisions?

At this point, I'm not going to allow it
I don't care if we've known each other for decades
You let me down when it mattered most
That was painful enough for me to reconsider

So you know what? Do this yourself.
I'm going to find something better to do
Selfishness sucks in my mind, but for once in my life
I'll have to be just that: Selfish.