View-Monster Commentary

VIEW-MONSTER COMMENTARY

This commentary is in the form of annotations on the lyrics pages for each song. The lyric each annotation is attatched to will be after the comments and in brackets.



AMNESIA WHAS HER NAME

Not to be confused with the B.B. King song of the same title.
	[on the title]

This song is about an amnesia patient who falls in love.
	[Amnesia was her name]

The patient, who can't hold onto a memory, falls in love with the doctor who's treating him.
	[Dr. Amnesia]

French for "That's love and injuries." I mispronounced the word "et" here, but seriously French can bite me.
	[C’est l’amour et blessures.]

The patient is having corrective surgery done on his brain.
	[Surgery]

Alas, Dr. Amnesia has been fired for carrying on an affair with a patient. Patient has no memories of her, but the feeling of emotional attachment lingers. What a happy little fable.
	[she wasn't there.]



THE MAN IN STRIPES AND GLASSES

Yes, this song regards the untimely death of Waldo of "Where's Waldo" fame (Also known as Wally, in England, where "Waldo" is an offensive term.)
	[a red and white bespecticled]

I never thought I'd get to use this word in a song.
	[hermetically]

This track is followed by a series of SPOOKY sounds produced by my mouth. These sounds are in the style of cheap "Halloween Sounds" CDs and cassettes you can purchase around October in various everything-stores. They make good soundtracks for driving
	[Forever.]



MARKETLAND

Narrator displays an immediate hatred of people in general, or at least nasty flea-market salesmen.
	[putrid people everywhere.]

If nothing else, this song promotes a healthily conservative mindset towards frill spending. I don't personally hold to this standard in my own life; I buy tons of garbage.
	[There's no trash that's worth my cash]

Poop joke quota met.
	[soiled shorts.]

Seriously, wash your hands after touching the world.
	[I'd go wash it off now.]



GADZOOKS

Gadzooks-- from "God's hooks!"
	[Gadzooks!]

Egad-- from "Ah God!"
	[Egad!]

By Jove-- from "By God!"
	[By Jove!]

Gorblimey-- from "God blind me!"
	[Gorblimey!]

Gee Willikers-- from "Jesus!"
	[Gee Willikers!]

Odds-bodkins-- from "God's body!"
	[Odds-bodkins!]

Each of these goofy little terms is a Ye Olde English "minced oath"-- a masked exclamation of blasphemy, similar to modern expressions such as "Holy cow!" or "Mother falcon!" There's your useless English trivia for the day.
	[Gadzooks!]



KNIFE FIGHT

Not to be confused with the Enya song of the same title.
	[on the title]

"Don't Wake Daddy," the hit 1992 Parker Brothers board game which featured Daddy, a single parent suffering from sleep paralysis.
	[Don't Wake Daddy.]

If you call it "scissors paper rock" or any other strange misconfiguration, you don't exist to me.
	[rock paper scissors]

Knifes are like knives but without that pansy letter V.
	[knifes!]

Introducing Marty Allen, lead singer of Uncle Monsterface, a viciously entertaining band and multimedia experience based out of New York
	[MARTY: Oh yeah?]

Throwing the Freudian camp a bone here. So to speak.
	[knife is way too small!]

This exchange is taken straight from the insult swordfighting sequence of "The Secret of Monkey Island", a 1990 adventure game.
	[NEIL: This is the END for you, you gutter crawling cur!
	MARTY: I've got a TIP for you, get the POINT?]

Marty and I have performed this song live on occasion, complete with plastic knifes and, yes, feathers. We try not to think about how we must look.
	[TICKLE FIGHT!]



THE ONLY HOUSE THAT'S NOT ON FIRE (YET)

Two kinds of knots that I don't know how to tie.
	[bowlines and zeppelin bends.]

The theremin is an early electronic instrument that creates a spooky spacy whistle noise based on how close your hands are to its antennae. I do not own one at the moment.
	[theramin]

A shameless allusion to "Neverending Hum", a track from my previous album.
	[hum that never ends.]

Maybe you've guessed by now, but this song isn't about anything.
	[The film's in the can like hocus-pocus.]

Anti-humor is a form of humor where the listener is built up in expectation of a punch line, only to be met with a decidedly mundane punch line, or no punch line at all. See: Chicken crossing the road.
	[The punch line is that there is no punch line.]

This song, like several others on this album, features a toy piano, a small piano with a distinctive tinkly sound. Mine cost me $150 and it's my favorite thing.
	[(Yet.)]



THE OCEAN

Don't drink tea with saltwater, it's probably really nasty.
	[literally.]

Don't get a mermaid girlfriend, it's probably really nasty.
	[mermaid girlfriend]

Fun fact: Sea monsters are SO COOL.
	[monsters]

I don't always need real words to convey my emotions.
	[La la la la la la la the ocean!]

This is a horrible pun.
	[Pacified, or Atlanticized]

I don't actually like the ocean very much. I'm not sure why I've written at least two whole songs about it.
	[the ocean.]



THE AFTERNOON

MONSTER GOT HIM
	[no second set of footprints]

IT'S A WORMHOLE
	[a door that somehow leads into the basement]

This song is about the adventurous, imaginative, strange things that come easier to a young mind.
	[Live for the afternon.]

IT'S A CLUE
	[secret message]

Digging holes in the front lawn is just good old fun.
	[A place to dig.]

Unfortunately, as you get older, the harder it is to appreciate this sort of juvenile fun.
	[But oh, the more you grow up, less and less will show up.]

Unless, of course, you are emotionally stunted like me.
	[the less you old out, more and more will fold out.]



SPRING HEELED JACK

Okay, picture a man wearing a pair of spring-loaded boots.
	[the springs on his boots,]

Picture him bouncing from rooftop to rooftop, terrorizing people.
	[strange, elusive monster]

Yes, he has been known to breathe fire.
	[aflame.]

This is in Victorian England, mind you. Picture lots of fog, and befuddled mustached men.
	[unsuspecting Englishmen]

This guy was REAL (or at least, claimed to be real by dozens of disturbed witnesses.) Look him up.
	[Spring Heeled Jack's his name.]

Shh, I'm not mispronouncing "marquis" here. There was an Irish Marquess, Henry Beresford, who was often suspected of being Spring Heeled Jack's true identity.
	[Marquess of Waterford]

Oh yeah, he had claws. He was like Batman, Godzilla, and Wolverine all rolled into one.
	[handfull of claws]

There is the occasional modern day report of an attacker bearing odd similarities to Jack.
	[This day lacks tales of his acts]



BEING A ROCK STAR

Or at least, it should be. If nothing else, rock and roll should be about rock and roll
	[Rock and roll is everything to everybody that you've ever met.]

Who knows, there's always that freak chance that I'll become a world famous musician of some sort.
	[If I ever make it to the top]

The point is, if I were to get famous, and suddenly my life revolved around doing famous things, I'd try to avoid letting all my subsequent songs be about my stupid pampered existence.
	[If I ever write any songs about being a rock star,]

Granted, I'm probably safe, because I'm too odd to get famous, and I already write about strange things that have nothing to do with my life, so that wouldn't change.
	[That ain't me.]

Fun fact: "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston is actually about how Whitney Houston will always love smack.
	[secretly about heroin.]

Seriously, heaven help me if I ever sing about being rich or some dumb fluff. Leave that to mainstream rap and tycooncore.
	[slap me please, all right?]

Tycooncore is an obscure punk subgenre largely frotned by CEOs.
	["tycooncore" in the above annotation]



ASK FOR NOTHING

This is a metaphor; I hoard balloons.
	[I let it go just like a balloon.]

Also figurative; I only love things that I don't hate already.
	[I love everything.]

I don't believe in the afterlife, but I think it can be helpful to imagine one.
	[nothingness]

I happen to get a kick out of quoting the 3 Stooges in a song about agnosticism.
	[Hey you, wake up and go to sleep.]

Eyes.
	[in my.....]

P.S. - clicking "It's like the ocean" brings you to the lyrics page for The Ocean.



THE SATIRIST'S LOVE SONG

Not to be confused with the Aaron Carter song of the same title.
	[on the title]

The ancient Greeks pioneered the art of satire. I've never read any Greek works.
	[the Greek.]

Jonathan Swift wrote "A Modest Proposal", the definitive work on baby-eating. I have never read it.
	[Swift.]

Mark Twain was a famous American satirist, best known for "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn", which I have never read.
	[Twain.]

Voltaire was a French writer known for his satire of the Catholic Church, none of which I have read. I also considered using "Colbert", whose works I have, in fact, read.
	[Voltaire.]

Writing commentary for this song has made me feel rather uncultured. I need to go lie down.
	[flew over your head.]

This song chronicles the adventures of a man who, for no particular reason, begins to build a machine with no particular purpose.
	[Building a big machine.]

The machine grows organically, becoming more and more complicated and strange.
	[Now it's a mile wide.]

"Greebles" are small, futuristic-looking details used to make sci-fi movie sets and models appear more complex. They have no actual function.
	[greebles]

"It doesn't DO anything, that's the beauty of it." This quote has been analyzed by many on the internet. Many claim it sounds incredibly familiar, and it's been attributed to everything from Willy Wonka to Woody Allen to the Simpsons... but nobody's ever been able to confirm the exact source. Up until recently, it remained a mystery...
	[That's the beauty of it-- It doesn't do anything.]

The closest match anybody's ever found is the source of the clip that precedes this track*: an episode of the 60s detective show "Burke's Law". In the episode, a character shows off a strange machine and, when asked of its purpose, delivers the line "Do?? ...Nothing, nothing... that's the beauty of it."
	[That's the beauty of it-- It doesn't do anything.]
	*this is talking about the transition track that appears on the Bandcamp and Youtube uploads of the album

The world needs more arbitrary, chaotically applied engineering.
	[That's the beauty of it-- It doesn't do anything.]



BILL WATTERSON

Here's a nice little song about stalking Bill Watterson, the cartoonist behind the beloved comic "Calvin and Hobbes." He retired in 1995, lives in Cleveland, and has made few, if any, public appearances since.
	[Where'd you go when you were done?]

I really do love Bill Watterson's work, though I wouldn't go so far as stalking him. I'd shake his hand if I ever met him, assuming he was cool with it.
	[the cat's meow?]

The original, demo version of this song ended after this line. Babies.
	[I only wanna have your babies.]

Bill Watterson now paints landscapes-- each of which, it is said, he immediately burns after finishing. This is because A. He was told that "the first 500 paintings an artist creates are just practice," and B. He is a badass mother falcon.
	[Where's the tiger now?]

Bill Watterson is said to be a very private person, so writing a song about stalking him is all the more funny. He probably hides out of fear of people like this.
	[the reason you're hiding]

I'd like to see his face if he ever heard this song. Maybe I should send it to some Cleveland radio stations.
	[I only wanna try your face on.]



SOMETHING GLOWING

This is a song in the same spirit as "The Afternoon", only inspired by the creepier side of the childhood perspective. I tried to evoke the feeling I used to get staring out my bedroom window when I was supposed to be asleep.
	[outside my window.]

I don't know what a kaleidoskull is, but I liked how it sounded enough to both mention it in this track and name the opening track after it. It must be a relative of the View-Monster, whatever that is.
	[kaleidoskull]

Part of the reason I would stare out my window was my hope of seeing a UFO. I knew I'd be scared if I actually saw one, but I still really wanted to.
	[No sun, no moon, no weather balloon]

I'll save you the trouble-- this song has 66.5 beats per minute.
	[beats per minute]

Does that make sense?
	[I can tell it's there by the way it's not quite there.]






BEN BERNANKE

Not to be confused with the Partridge Family song of the same title.
	[on the title]

Where to start with this one? The backstory is a little complicated...
	[Hello there, Spencer.]

One day my friend and fellow filmmaker Ryan Murphy showed up at my house with a MiniDV tape containing over half an hour of footage he had shot with another friend, Jake Quilty-Dunn. Ryan asked me if I could capture the footage to my hard drive so he could edit it and put it on YouTube.
	[architect of my dreams]

As I watched the footage, Ryan expressed some doubt that I would be amused-- he assumed it was one of those things where you just had to be there. But he was wrong, and I found the footage hilarious. I told him I wanted to edit it myself. He was fine with that.
	[hand them to me.]

The footage was of Jake, sitting in a chair, saying very strange things in a strange voice to "Spencer", a silent man played by Ryan. You can watch the completed film here*.
	[That's what you do for me.]

Jake's rantings are a mishmash of private jokes, improv, overheard dialog, and menacing homoeroticism. The repeated "I'm a magician, a furious magician" line was something he and Ryan actually overheard somebody saying at the mall.
	[I'm a magician, Spencer. A furious magician.]

Spencer is named after a friend of Ryan's, Spencer Hensel, who had no clue his name was being abused in this manner until after the film was done.
	[Spencer.]

One day, several weeks after the Ben Bernanke video was released, I was inspired to put its dialogue to music. To my surprise, it fit rather well into a verse/chorus/bridge structure... perhaps I subconsciously edited the film into a natural rhythm of some sort? No that's dumb.
	[You think you're something brand new?]

Soon after I completed this song, I decided to take the footage from the original video and edit it so Jake's mouth movements matched my singing. What resulted was a full-on music video, which you can watch here*.
	[I'm a magician, Spencer. A furious magician.]

The real Ben Bernanke is the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. He has very little to do with how he's portrayed by Jake. There have been no reports of him seeking ownership of anybody's teeth.
	[I'm Ben Bernanke, Spencer]

I wonder if Ben Bernanke himself has seen the video. I wonder if there's anything in his power he could do to punish us.
	[Ben Bernanke.]

Another line Ryan and Jake allegedly overheard being repeated at the mall.
	[Are you proud of your country?]

I say the name "Spencer" 34 times in this song (at least.)
	[Spencer... Spencer. Spencer...]

*Both the videos were removed. Reuploads exist if you want to find them.



EVERYDAY FRENCH

This song is based on samples of Pierre Escargot, a character from the 90s Nickelodeon sketch comedy show "All That".
	[May I take a nap in your nose?]

Pierre Escargot was played by Kenan Thompson (of modern SNL and Snakes on a Plane fame.) Pierre would sit in a bathtub, deliver a sentence in French, then its translation in English. These sentences were often comically wacky.
	[Monkeys are tickling my tummy.]

This obscure, stupid childhood memory was enough to inspire me to seek out samples and construct an elaborate dance song around them.
	[Oh no, the babysitter exploded!]

For this song, I was awarded one hundred Pathetic Nostalgia points.
	[I have not showered in thirty-six days.]

At 2007's Lemonic Demonade (an annual fan gettogether and performance I put on in my yard) we nailed actual pieces of bologna to a tree as a clever reference to this song. A bunch of flies were attracted to the bologna, and it started stinking after a while. The bologna remained for a few days after the event
	[Kiss me under the balogna tree.]

This song really needed a lyrics page
	[I have not showered in thirty-six days.]



HIP HOP CHERRY POP

This song was written for the opening titles of Hip Hop Cherry Pop, a film directed by my friend Kevin James. I have a short role in the film as a concerned citizen.
	[Hip Hop Cherry Pop!]

Sadly, it didn't fit with the opening animation, so they went with something else. Kevin has told me he'll feature the song in the DVD, though.
	[Pretty pretty pretty please]

The movie's about a bullied loser who drinks a magic potion that turns him Cool. He goes around being Cool, meanwhile causing various problems for the rest of the town.
	[paranormal charm]

After making this, I was excited to realize that it's basically a Prince song, but with better spelling.
	[All right... all right.]



MODIFY

This song is based on the potent subject of body modification, which includes everything from ear piercings to genital mutilation (the latter of which I felt was best left out of the song.)
	[height of style]

Each verse features an "initial rhyme" at the beginnings of the couplets. Howie/Now He's, Sally/O'Malley, Rooney/Soon He's, Mason/Adjacent, Johnny/Donnie, Stan/Plan. Yes, I just thought I'd point out how clever I am, ahemhem
	[O'Malley]

Scrimshaw is nautical artwork generally carved into whale teeth and bones.
	[Scrimshaw]

I don't know a lot about body modification trends, so for all I know some of the jokes in this song aren't even that exaggerated.
	[stuck through your eyelids]

Suicide joke quota met. (Going to hell quota also met.)
	[His plan kinda failed]

People do this too, but not to look cool.
	[Knock yourself out.]



NIGHTMARE FUEL

The Swedish Chef
	[puppets with human hands.]

Today's Special, Herbie Hancock's "Rockit"
	[Mannequins moving.]

Yes, this is yet another childhood-inspired song. This time, it's about all the things that freak a kid the hell out.
	[nightmare fuel.]

Child's Play, my great-grandmother's bedroom
	[dolls]

Can't think of any examples, but it would be creepy.
	[robots with human eyes.]

Uncanny Valley is a theory developed by Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori which explains why certain robots, mannequins, puppets, dolls, and bad CGI are often horrifying and creepy.
	[Uncanny Valley]

Stephen Gammel illustrated the "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" children's book series, and did this so disturbingly that they were banned in a lot of school libraries (but not mine.)
	[Stephen Gammel]

Walter Donovan in The Last Crusade
	[Rapidly aging]

The Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark
	[melting away...]

Judge Doom in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
	[Buzz saws for hands]

The stop motion effects of David Allen, Ray Harryhausen
	[monsters of clay..]

Intro logos and idents were creepycool in the 80s. See the music video for "DVNO" by Justice.
	[videotape logos]

The phrase "good old-fashioned nightmare fuel" originates on Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show which does not frighten but rather comforts me.
	[Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel]



SUNDIAL

This song is total nonsense crap.
	[This one doesn't have a meaning.]



THE WIGGLES HATE EACH OTHER IN REAL LIFE

Not to be confused with the U2 song of the same title.
	[on title]

If you are not a child: The Wiggles is the name of a popular Australian music group and television show for children.
	[the Wiggles]

Greg wears yellow and likes to do magic tricks.
	[Greg]

Anthony wears blue and likes to eat.
	[Anthony]

Murray wears red and likes to play guitar.
	[Murray]

Jeff wears purple and likes to fall asleep.
	[Jeff]



TREASURE MAP

No comments.



YOU GOT A TOOTHACHE

What a weird song.
	[Yes indeed.]