Unforeseen Consequences - Chapter 36

Jul 18th, 2020
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  1. >I was sitting at a very simple, yet also super comfy wooden desk in my room. The time must have been a little past midnight, or at least that’s what I thought judging by the dark purple hue of the Void’s sky and the swarm of giant mosquitos hanging just outside the window.
  2. >Why I was doing something so… unchaotic so late into the night? Well, I was actually reviewing another wicked cool, but completely unsalvageable idea that Discord had for his chaos carnival.
  3. “I dunno about this whole pool of doom thing, dude. The carnival’s already bloated as it is”.
  4. >Discord himself was comfortably lying on one of those turbo fancy couches you’d see at a super pretentious store for the filthy rich. Both he and MY pretentious couch were firmly placed on the ceiling, no reason for that, I just ran outta space to put furniture on the floor.
  5. >He snapped his fingers, bringing forth couple of cups with ice cream and chips in them. He dropped one on my desk, and gobbled the other cup in a single bite, “That might be true, but the carnival is a place for innovative ideas to show their greatness to the world”
  6. >I tried using my magic to put some jelly sprinkles on my ice cream, but I ended up drowning the darn thing with them. After casting another spell to make my mess go away, I let out a sigh and threw a ball of paper at Discord.
  7. “Get real, dude! Those two celestial hags ain’t gonna roll with the idea of throwing ponies into a pool filled with hungry hippos”.
  9. >Discord covered his eyes with his paw and started to dance around the ceiling while doing a cheesy mopey act, “Oh, my poor carnival! All of its great ideas are snuffed out before they can even get a chance to shine!”
  10. “OUR carnival, you mean. Most of the good ideas are mine anyway!””
  11. >With a snap of his fingers, Discord teleported from the ceiling to sitting on my desk. He was now wearing one of those hats that old timey directors use, and was holding a little frog on his talons while caressing it with his paw “Don’t get nitpicky, my dear. I’m just trying to have some drama going on here”
  12. “Whatever lets you sleep at night, dude. Speaking of which, I’m calling it a day, so get outta my room, will ya? I wanna hit the sack now”.
  13. >“Why you didn’t say so then?!” A gigantic sack appeared in the middle of my room, and Discord was now dressed like a boxer, the little frog was the couch of course, “This will the battle of the century! The raging draconequus vs the Sack o’ Doom. A match to 12 rounds, who shall come out victorious!”
  14. >I let out a small laugh as I used my magic to bring up a giant chalkboard to my side.
  15. “…Really, this again? Come on dude, give it up! That sack has has a score of 13-0 against your wrinkly old butt”.
  16. >“I swear that blasted sack cheats every single time!” He then made everything except the frog disappear as he chuckled, “Rest well, my dear. I’ll do the same, tomorrow’s the big day! Those two… how did you nickname the beloved princesses again?”
  18. “The celestial hags?”
  19. >Discord burst out laughing as he snapped his talons to compile the mess that was my desk into a neat, and super thick folder, “Yeah, not even them will be able to say no after seeing all the wonderful things that my genius and your… very helpful collaboration have in store for everyone in the kingdom”.
  20. “Just shut up and get your old butt outta my room!”
  21. >Discord opened his mouth, but conformed himself with chuckling and snapping out of my room.
  22. “Good night, old man”.
  23. > I let out a sigh, picked up the small frog and plummeted on my bed. Once I got all cozy and warm, I raised the frog and tapped its head with my paw.
  24. “You know froggy, I actually really hated the whole idea of the carnival, but now… well, I don’t gotta explain the obvious. Pretty crazy how things can change just like that, huh?”
  25. >The frog starred right into my eye and croaked exactly two times. Weird, it almost felt like the little guy… or gal actually replied to me. Which I mean, it wouldn’t be outta place in this frickin’ house.
  26. “Do you wanna hear my story?”
  27. >Again, the frog croaked only that this time it shot its tongue right at my eye.
  28. “Agh! Well, screw you! I’m telling you anyway!”
  30. >It actually started a few weeks ago, like the day after my ghost adventure in the Everfree Forest, and lemme tell you, I was in for one heck of a ride from literally the start of the day.
  31. >Like, when I woke up that morning I was in the living room instead of my own room. A weird start already, but get this! I was also tied up to one of those rollercoaster seats you’d see at every cheap fair in the slums. I couldn’t move or do magic, the seatbelt was locked in just the right way to prevent me from doing either of those things.
  32. >Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Discord to make his big appearance. He was wearing the ugliest shirt you can imagine, like it had this super brilliant red and was stamped with a buncha yellowish flowers, just a craptastic shirt if you ask me. He also snapped this super old projector and worn out screen into the living room.
  33. >These kind of shenanigans were actually pretty normal for Discord, the dude is always walking the line between eccentric and balls-to-the-wall insane. What actually caught me by surprise was the reason why he came up with this whole number. Discord wanted to come out clean with all the stuff he had been keeping away from me.
  34. >This was a pretty big deal, and I of course took it in the most mature and calmly way that someone like me could have done it.
  35. “Come on dude, I ain’t asking for the world here! Just gimme the run down and we’ll call it a day. No need for… I dunno what the heck this is supposed to be!”
  37. >Discord let out a chuckle as he clumsily placed a film reel on the projector and adjusted the lens, “Well you see my dear, I’ve always been a fan of the concept show ‘em, don’t tell ‘em! So while it is true that we could just have a long talk about my past… well, that’s simply too boring.”
  39. >After making sure the screen was set correctly and my seatbelt was still squeezing me like an orange, Discod patted my head in a super patronizing way and went back to the projector, “I know this might seem harsh, but it’s for your own safety. The act of remembering can be a little more dangerous than what you might think!”
  40. “Dude, what the heck you’re talking about?! This is just a stupid projector, I even saw you loading the stupid reel into the stupid thing… wait a second, you ain’t gonna show me some creepy stuff, are you?”
  41. >Discord rolled his eyes, well actually his eyes spun so fast they popped outta his skull. He then put them back again and groaned, “It’s always a pleasure to see your sense of humor shining through. As for your actual concerns, well… show ‘em, don’t tell ‘em! Take a deep breath and hold to your seat, my dear, our trip to memories street is about to begin!”
  43. >The moment he started the projector, a purple vortex appeared on the screen and a set of rusty as heck rails appeared beneath my seat. As I struggled even harder to get out, the seat started to move. Just when I had managed to free my paw, the vortex managed to suck me inside it.
  45. >I don’t exactly remember what happened after it, everything went black. Next thing I knew is that I was lying on a patch of grass, I could hear the sound of thunder on the distance but every inch of my body hurt like heck, I needed some time to rest before getting moving.
  46. “Ugh… Gosh frickin’ darn it, Discord! A stupid movie would’ve been just fine if you didn’t wanna talk!”
  47. >The thunders continued growing stronger and getting closer, until finally *BOOOOOOM* I couldn’t ignore them anymore.
  48. “What the flying heck? That wasn’t a thunder, it sounded more like…”
  49. >Another explosion went off as my mind struggled to understand the scene in front of me. Ponies ran aimlessly for their lives as two mountain-sized ponies with both wings and horns towered over a small village.
  50. >The giants laughed as a rain of brimstone and fire poured from their horns, pillars of smoke rose from the now burning village, and more and more frightened creatures did their best to flee from the destruction.
  51. >I used my magic to try and calm the flames with waves after waves of sand and milk but… they simply phased through everything. The reason for this really didn’t dawn on my until one of the fleeing ponies, a filly as cute as a button, ran straight through me, kinda like if I were made outta mist.
  52. “What the heck, is this just an illusion or something? Hmmm… Oh, wait! Discord said something about this, right? Something about a trip down to the memory asylum or whatever. This is still pretty screwed up, though”.
  54. >The filly dropped to her knees and looked up to the blackened sky to proclaim in an oddly over-the-top way, “Oh, and now, who could defend us?”
  55. >A ray of sunshine emerged from the sky with a conveniently perfect timing. That said, the patch of grass grew a big a thump from which immediately Discord emerged, now dressed in some weird red armor with antennas. He placed his paw and talons on his hips and heroically exclaimed “Me!”
  56. >The filly clapped her little hooves together and started hopping all over the patch of grass, “THE CRIMSON DRACONEQUUS!”
  57. >Discord patted the filly and gave her a confident wink, “They didn’t count on my wits!”
  58. >The filly pointed at the giants, who now were cackling manically as more fire rained upon the poor village, “Luna and Celestia are destroying everything! Can you help us, Crimson Draconequus?”
  59. >“Why, but of course my little one! I’ll just to use my…” Discord stretched his limbs and with a snap of his talons, produced this stupid looking red and yellow hammer, “HOWLING MALLET!”
  60. >Discord raised his oversized toy and blasted up to the sky to face to the giants where… know what? I just couldn’t care by this point. Like, yeah it was a sick battle where the old guy used his goofy hammer to deflect every attack and all that.
  61. >Sure, he ended up winning at the last minute by basically bonking those two mares on the head, and don’t get me wrong, it felt good to see all the ponies happy and a cheesy rainbow lightening the sky. It’s just that, well…
  62. “Screw you, old man! This is more fake than a frickin’ three bit coin!”
  64. >Everyone, and I mean everyone stopped their little celebration, including making a golden statue of Discord to turn at me in disgust. Discord snapped his talons, replacing everyone’s head with his, then he… them, furrowed their brows at me, “What do you mean, my dear?”
  65. “Oh, shut up! You know exactly what the heck I mean, you old conman! Like, do you really think I’m gonna swallow all this cheesy garbage?! Come on, you’re the last dude who would be a hero!”
  66. >Discord let out a sigh and dropped his head in defeat, “You’re right…”
  67. “…Like what the heck was the crimson… huh? What did you say?”
  68. >The entire world popped like a balloon, leaving me and Discord floating in an endless… nothing. He snapped away his costume, threw the dumb hammer away and replied with actual sadness in his voice, “I said you’re right, my dear. I’m sorry for this little charade, I just wanted… I don’t know what I wanted to be honest with you”.
  69. “Hey dude, don’t beat yourself over it. Like, it wasn’t that bad… I was just angry, ‘cause… y’know”.
  70. >“I understand, my dear. Don’t worry though, I’ll make it right this time… I’m going to show you the truth and nothing more than the truth. I just hope you don’t hate me when all is said and done, and if you do… well, at least I’m going out with a bang!”
  72. >Discord snapped his talons, and in less than the blink of an eye the world had changed again. This time, I just… I’m not even sure what was happening anymore. I was standing on top of a small hill, but everything was wrong, even by the Void’s standards.
  73. >The world was like a bunch of purple and white tiles squares, mountains were suspended upside down in the air, trees grew popcorn, the grass had splashes of different colors… it was frickin’ cool to be honest.
  74. >There was also a small village, but this one was… like every building was crooked in so many ways, some even grew fruits from their windows, others were ponies transformed into houses.
  75. >What had me in complete disbelief was a giant the size of a mountain causing havoc on everything and everyone, the guy who laughed like an insane horse whenever a group of fleeing ponies was transformed into some random object. It was Discord, my Discord.
  76. “Dude, what the heck is going on?!”
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