OH WOW.

[M4F] [Script Offer] You like ME?! Oh WOW! [Cute] [Short] [Funny] [Sweet] [Shy] [Awkward] [Innocent] [Goofy] [Nervous] [Lunch Break] [Sammich] [Quick Kiss] [Asked Out] [OH WOW]

| Summary |
The awkward but sweet main character is on lunch with a group of co-workers when his crush approaches the table asking to speak to him…

| Setting |
A group of employees at a local supermarket enjoy their lunch outside at a picnic table. It’s a sunny Friday afternoon, and the coworkers discuss their plans for the weekend.



[Pleasant chatter among a group of coworkers over lunch. The main character responds to someone.]

(Coworker: You doing anything this weekend?)

[Sighs, opening a sub sandwich.]
Nah. I’m probably just gonna stay in this weekend and play that game I just bought on Steam.
I mean– If I actually had something better to do, I would definitely do THAT but… I don’t so… [Laughs] Nah I don’t have much of a life besides work.
(Coworker: You’re boring as hell, dude!)

HEY! I am NOT boring! I just don’t see the point in going clubbing all weekend… every weekend.
It’s just not my scene, man. [Sighs and takes a bite into his sandwich.] Like… What’s the point? Just going out to meet girls, hook up and then brag about it to your friends on Monday?
(Coworker: Hey now…)
[Chuckles] No, I’m not ragging on you, man. I know YOU do that… But it’s just not my thing.

(Coworker: You need to quit being such a pussy and meet a girl, dude. You’re gonna be single forever.)
[Scoffing, takes another bite into his sandwich.]
Okay, I do NOT need to meet a girl. I KNOW a girl… I just… [Sighs]
I don’t know if she knows me. I don’t even know if she notices me around at all. You know? Like, I notice her all the time. Everything she does. When she changes her hairstyle, I notice. That kinda shit…

(Coworker: That’s fucking stupid and lame.)
[Swats at coworker] HEY! Fuck you, idiot. It’s not stupid! [Laughs and then sighs, looking longingly to his delicious sub sandwich] She’s… really, kinda perfect.

(Coworker: Is it anybody we know?)
[Swallowing hard, stammers into his sandwich.] Mmmugh… uhhh… maybeeeeeeee?
(Coworker: OH MY GOD. WE FUCKING KNOW HER. WHO IS IT?)
[Coughs, seeing his crush approaching the table. Anxiously takes a sip from his drink.]
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. FUUUUUUUUCK!

(Coworker: What’s your deal dude?)
Nothing! Nothing’s wrong. I just… realized that I have… mustard on my pants.
(Coworker: OH SHIT! THAT’S HER ISN’T IT?)
[Panics] SHUT UP, MAN. SHHHHH. SHE’LL HEAR YOU. Ugh. Okay… yeah. Just… [Sighs and groans]
UGHHH. I can’t believe this is happening. Why is she coming over here? WHY THE HELL IS SHE COMING OVER HERE? [Fidgeting with sub sandwich wrapping] Is… is she walking fast or is it just me?
….God she’s pretty. FUCK. Shhh! Okay. Just everybody stay cool.

(Coworker: We’re cool, you’re the only one trippin’, fool.)

[His crush, finally approaching the picnic table, greets everyone with a smile. She seems to peer over her shoulder just momentarily to another group of coworkers sitting across the way, a group of giggling women.]

(Listener: Hey, I was wondering if I could borrow you for just a sec? It’ll only take a bit. I don’t wanna kill all your break time.)

[The main character’s mouth is agape, still processing the words that were spoken to him, after a brief moment of awkward silence he nods and quickly stands.]
OH YEAH, sure! HEH! No…. nooooo problem mi’lady. Uhhhh… I’ll…. I’ll be back in a moment, guys. Just um… watch my food. Don’t let Jeff eat it… [Eyeing Jeff, he walks off with his crush around the corner of the building.]
[Clearing throat] So uhhh… You wanted to talk to me about… something? Anything wrong? Nobody is giving you a hard time right? I mean… I’ve known most of these people for two years now, and they can sometimes be assholes to newcomers. [Fidgets] They ARE being nice to you right?

(Listener: Oh yeah! Everyone is super nice.)

[Sighs with relief] Oh good. I’m so happy to hear that. You seem so sweet, I’d hate for anyone to be mean to you or give you a hard time.

(Listener: I just wanted to ask you something.)

[Gulps] Huh? You wanted to ask me something? [Fidgeting more] I mean… sure! You can ask me anything! Anytime! Heh heh.

(Listener: I was wondering if you would want to hang out tomorrow night?)
[Disbelief] You what now?...
(Listener laughs.)
[Laughs nervously] You… you wanna hang out… with ME? Tomorrow NIGHT? Am… am I hearing that right?

(Listener: Were you gonna be busy?)
PFFFF! Hell no I won’t be busy. I was gonna play some video games and eat pizza all weekend.

(Listener: Well, maybe we could do that together?)
SURE! DUH! Like… absolutely! I’d love to play video games and pig out on pizza with you. We… [clears throat] We… will have a… great time! [Anxiously chuckles]
(Listener: Awesome. I was really hoping you would say yes.)
[Confused] Why were you hoping I would say yes?
(Listener: Because I… really like you and… I think it’d be nice to spend time with you.)

[Absolute disbelief. Silent for a moment, allowing her words to process. He blinks.] Uh… You… what? You like… ME? [Face becomes hot and red, he laughs nervously.] Oh wow… Oh wow… uh… Heh. Wow. Um…
(Listener: Yeah. You’re so nice, and you’re funny and you’re cute…)
[Voice cracks as he has an outburst of laughter from denial] WHAT? Me? Cute? Nice? Funny maybe… I have my moments… But… how? Ohhhhh wow. You… [Laughs and rubs his face] You really like me? You aren’t like… playing aroun- [A brief peck is placed onto his lips, to which he stares blankly ahead in complete denial that it even happened.]  …. !!

(Listener: I’m not playing around. I like you. I want to hang out. With YOU. TOMORROW. Eight o’clock.)
[The listener pivots on her heel, giving the main character a grin and walks off, leaving him there in a state of blissful shock.]

Right…. Tomorrow… Eight… [Breath slowly coming back to him, he inhales deeply and tries to pull himself together, murmuring to himself until he is able to manage walking back to his table.] Ohhhh I’m in trouble… I’m in trouble, I’m in trouble….

End.