memories

Nagito Komaeda - canon adjacent/main canon
-Hajime, Kazuichi, Gundham, maybe Chiaki found!
-needed glasses to read, but didn't wear glasses bc they'd always get broken or lost or stolen. luck, yknow.
-two rows of teeth. some people have three sets of teeth just bc their body decides thats a thing its going to do, and my third set grew in weird so i had almost two entire sets of teeth in my mouth. how does that even happen.
-circulation issues were why my hands were always Freezing compared to normal person body temperatures. Pretty sure it added to the whole ‘looks like a corpse’ thing more than necessary.
-absolutely terrible attention span. like. i just did NOT have an attention span. it just wasnt there! i couldnt even focus on something i was trying to tell somebody else.
-i didnt stop wearing my green jacket as part of the ultimate despair, i stopped wearing it bc hajime’s favorite color was green and after a certain point there was no point in wearing green if there wasnt anybody to appreciate it. i said green was my favorite but it was actually red, and that fit the ultimate despair aesthetic better anyways.
-when i cut off my arm, izuru watched. He didn’t do anything, or even say anything, and left afterwards. Mikan sewed Her hand onto my arm for me.
-some of the things the other ultimate despairs did to me are things i cant in good conscience write down but theyre very very very bad to think about
-izuru: i have no interest in you, nagito. me, right before leaving, in literally the most smug manner possible: maybe if you keep saying that you'll convince yourself of it! . izuru doesnt show emotion very often but when he does MAN is he cute when hes annoyed
-i would repair jataro’s mask or scavenge art supplies for him to use. i was very very very careful how i worded things around kotoko and i know she appreciated it. Nagisa was very adamant about not being seen as weak or childish, but he would always hold my hand in places with lots of people
-pushing monaca's wheelchair with an asleep masaru on my back, the other kids either holding onto my arm or the side of the wheelchair, going down a dark street at night. I had to carry masaru a lot...
-when we were in the simulation, whenever i couldn’t sleep, i’d go on a walk around the beach of the island. It happened almost every night.
-after the simulation they were able to salvage chiaki’s code and start her up again. She helped with people’s recovery a lot checking up on people
-i remember World Destroyer hugging me as i died in that dream-world and i went with him willingly at the end, i think he told me i had somewhere to go home to or something along those lines and i agreed to all of it
-was the last one to wake up from the neo world program, by at least half a year, haji cried for a whole entire hour when i did
-he said i was waking up for bits of time for several days before that, but i was never really lucid or fully awake until then
-haji got a version of my coat made because everybody had clothes made for them after the program, but i took longer to wake up so haji was super embarrassed about giving it to me when i did wake up
-him and mikan managed to get rid of my lymphoma, but my dementia was there to stay unless they severely altered my personality - which they didnt
-while i was recovering i woke up in the middle of the night and wandered through the halls a lot. Haji always found me and took me to somewhere we could sit down and i’d fall asleep on him, and be back in my hospital bed in the morning
-sonia played records in the hospital a lot while we were still recovering, mostly with ibuki or in ibuki’s room, so it echoed down the halls for the rest of it. It was eerie but comforting because i knew where it came from
-kazuichi is the one who made my robotic arm for me
-i re-acquired my collar at some point after the simulation. Don’t think about the implications of this. Seriously, don’t.
-i had a lot of fidget toys, a good amount of them made by kaz
-if haji held my hand in public it was Fine but if he put his arm around my shoulders or let me lean on him or anything like that i got just SO flustered and he thought it was hilarious
-i once fell asleep at the table while kazuichi was working on my arm and chatting with hajime. Probably because i fucked up the wrist joint again
-while at ibuki and ???(she lived w another but i CANNOT remember who)'s place, hajime and kazuichi playing some fighting game that chiaki had recommended, mahiru impatiently waiting to play against whoever won, ibuki and gundham providing constant commentary on the events, and sonia and peko watching from across the room + me leaning over the back of the couch to watch - hajime blamed his defeat on the fact that i was hovering right behind him, kazuichi was not buying that at all
-Me and haji got an apartment after we (finally) left the island and i remember the view we had from the balcony and haji’s head on my shoulder as we watched the city. we spent a lot of time like that
-gay and complicated is a constant mood