Thread 19: Stories 31-45

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Continuing the non-canonicity:

"Hey, Fizzle, what's good? You got my shit?"

[Heeeey, Spike, yeah, man, I got it right here! You got the money?]

"Th'fuck kind of question is that, of course I got the bits. Let's see it."

[Eh? Ain't no low-quality shit when I'm dealin' it, man. Take a look.]

"Man... uncut diamond dust. You weren't kiddin', Fizzbitch. That'll do just fuckin' fine. Just... (sniff)... just fine."

[Haha, yeah. So... where's my money?]

"I got your payment"

*POP*POP*POP*

'Sweet Celestia!'

"--right fuckin' here. Let's go, Armor."

'Oh my alicorn goddess, you shot him!'

"Yeah, your point?"

'You just fucking killed him! He was your friend, and you just killed h--'

*CLICK*

"Why was he my friend? Because he knew my name? Fizzle sold jemdust to kids, Shining. The world is a better place without him. That dragon was the biggest major violator of trade agreements in Los Pegasus. This is the game. I watched that hoarder deal this shit for 10 years with impunity, and now I got him. Now, take some of this dust."

'...What?'

"Take it. Or hell, don't. Toss it, use it to decorate Two's crayon drawings, I don't give a shit."

'...'

"Heh. Not going to, are ya? Good. Good to see you're learnin'."

'I'm... I'm not like you.'

"Not yet you aren't. But you will be, my zigga. You will be."
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>Coco
"Gaurds"
~~~

>AND JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, SOLDIER!?

"T-trying to get back on my hooves, Ma'am."

>OH, I'M SORRY! AM I PUSHING YOU TOO HARD!? I REALLY DO APOLOGIZE!

"I'm trying!"

>WELL KISS A BUNNY AND CALL HIM PRECIOUS, he's trying! You hear that, boys? He's trying! LET'S ALL WATCH HIM TRY, HE'S PUTTING SO MUCH EFFORT INTO THIS!

"Man, this drill Sargent is rough."

"Well, she's got to be. She's just barely not a rookie."

"...At least we got in after the bug monster training."

"Right? My brother still gets the shakes."

>ARE YOU TWO TALKING OVER THERE!?

"MA'AM NO MA'AM!"

>Well that's funny, I heard talking! What a shame, I do so love a chat! Only thing I love more than a chat is a night out holding hoofs, do you like holding hoofs soldier!?

"MA'AM YES MA'AM!"

>WELL WHAT A SHOCK! Just for that, you two get to hold hoofs while we do these runs! AREN'T YOU JUST SO HAPPY!?

"MA'AM YES MA'AM!"

>Thank goodness, I love making my soldiers happy. NOW RUN AND I'LL EVEN THROW IN A PLEASE!

"MA'AM YES MA'AM!"

>...Kissing rainbow this screaming gets annoying. I hope I'm not being too loud.
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>Spike
"Blueblood"
~~~~~~
>Hey, I have good news and I have good news.

Blueblood only gives an eyebrow raise.

>The good news is your parents are fine. Their place has already been rebuilt.

Blueblood gives a sigh of relief.
"That's what I needed to hear...what's the other news?"

>I found out something about you...Happy Birthday!
Spike reveals a cupcake.

Blueblood frowns
"..."

>Aw come on, it was the only thing I could get on short notice (and the only one Celestia would part with).

"My birthday was yesterday, you witless buffoon!"

>Oh...wow this is awkward.

"..."

>...

"..."

>...Uh-

"Just give me the cupcake and leave!"
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Non-canon
>Spike
"Trixie"
'Crystal ponies'
-Spike's Sea People-
~~~
We join our heroes in the Crystal Empire

'Good morning, Great and Honourable Spike, the Brave and Glorious!'

>Heya, Quartz!

"This is an outrage!"

>Pardon?

"Do you not hear these Crystal Ponies and their title for you, you trigger-happy lizard?!"

'Greetings to you, Great and Honourable Spike, The Brave and Glorious!'

>'Sup, Shatterhoof? How's the wife and kids?

'They're great!'

"See what I mean? Your title! This offends The Great and Powerful Trixie with how short her own is in comparison to a midget as yourself!"

Spike shrugs

>Hey, I didn't ask to be called that, and it's not like I've got any more titles.

"Hmph, perhaps that's true, Trixies simply needs new suffixes and prefixes for her titles."

Suddenly, Sea People!

>Whoa! haven't seen you guys in a long time, how ya been?

-Praise, The Enkindler Spike: The Most Resplendent and Enlightened One who alone is Exalted on Heaven and Earth!-

'Don't forget, he's also Great, Glorious, Brave, and Honourable!'

>'sup, dawgs?

-'Suuuuuuuuuuuup?-

"AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGH!"
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Non-canon.

>Gwendolyn
“???”
‘Gilda’

Another weary day drew to a close for the Queen of Gryphons as she lumbered down the empty hallway towards her room. Her tail may have given up the battle, hanging low and dragging across the carpet, but the rest of her remained every bit as dignified as when she awoke: back arched, head high, wings firm-

>And hope decreasing every damned day I have to attend a meeting in the same room as that scurrying roach with fangs….

The painful beginnings of a headache pulsed just below Gwen’s temple as Chrysalis’s snickering face drifted through her mind. Celestia on high, that bug’s scathing laugh made her teeth itch and caused her talons to unconsciously elongate.

>It’s almost enough to forsake the entire concept of justice, when such a creature is allowed to not only breathe, but commingle within normal societal dwellings.

Her paw fell on the cold doorknob to her room and she paused, those alluringly piercing eyes of hers narrowing into slits.

>She lives happily, and is protected, and has near-limitless freedom, and goes about her business without a single fucking thought as to what her ignorant actions and childish mindgames are costing-

‘Gwen!’

Another paw landed on top of the queens, gripping firmly before pulling hers away to reveal a crushed metal ball in place of a doorknob.

>…

‘…’

>…I will not apologize that.

‘I’d call you an impostor if you did. Here, just let me….’

Even though the temperature of her room had not been fiddled with, it still felt leagues colder to Gwen as she sauntered inside, her lungs inhaling the frosty air. It was somewhat soothing and it was only because of that sudden bout of tranquility that she didn’t slam the door in Gilda’s face when she followed after her queen.

She found her desk and took a seat behind it, elbows on the table. She fixed Gilda with hollow stare.

>Well? Are you going to state the reason as to why you were apparently stalking me? I know it wasn’t to protect future doorknobs.

‘Ha, funny. Really, my sides are gone. Maybe you should drop out of politics and join a comedy club.’

>I would but I fear I could never match your dry wit.

‘Quick question. If I flipped you off, what would be the penalty of my actions?’

Gwen’s answer was swift, barely an ounce of thought put forth.

>Four days latrine duty and I would seriously consider turning you into little more than my whipping chicken like that rainbow-maned pony does to the former ‘Bolts leader.

‘Hmmm….’

>Think hard if you must.

‘Nah, not worth it. I can still call you a bitch though, right?’

>…

‘Your left eyebrow’s twitching.’

>Is it now?

‘Yup, and I think that’s my cue to leave. See you at the usual dignitary dinner, Gwen.’

>As always, I look forward to it with uncontainable excitement.

Gilda could only laugh as Gwen’s expression suggested she’d just swallowed a blood-spurting worm at the thought of slogging through another forced dinner meeting. Two seconds later, she had waved and left, leaving Gwen to sit alone in her semi-lit room.

>…Why in Equestria do I have so much faith in that birdbrained reprobate?

Surprisingly, she received an answer when a pair of hooves gripped her by the ankles. The first thought that rammed into her frozen mind was that an assassin had snuck in to do away with her… but when the hooves traveled further south, towards the underside of her sore paws, and began to move in comforting circles, pressing and kneading, Gwen backed her chair up and glanced under the table.

What she saw brought forth a roaring blush to her face and she lifted a forepaw to her lips to keep from squawking.

>…56…?

“Heyo, catbutt!”

She blinked. Then blinked again. Still, the smiling Changeling remained where he was, comfortably seated under her desk as he dutifully massaged her paws, tongue poked out to the side even. What astonished her more was that she hadn’t melted into a puddle yet.

>A-are you massaging my paws…?

“Yup! I saw you walkin’ around the castle a lot today and I figured your paws HAD to be on fire, ya know? Same thing happens with Moons so I thought I’d help ya out!”

Gwen may not have squawked but when 56 pressed into a particularly sensitive part of her hindpaw, she couldn’t help the little ‘eep!’ that escaped. He laughed. Her ears folded down.

“You make some pretty funny sounds there, catbutt! Oh… oh, I’m not hurtin’ ya, am I?”

>NO! I-I mean, n-no, you- I… it’s fine, I like you- ack! IT! Like IT!

Oh God, take her now….

“Hahahaha! Well good! So while I do this, tell me ‘bout your day? What’d ya do, eh? All that ‘ruler’ stuff goes right over my head, I swear.”

With one of her knuckles caught between her beak and her eyes squeezed shut, Gwen already knew speech was out of the question. He, a mere Changeling, had reduced her to a whimpering, toe-clenched, red-faced mess… her, the Queen of Gryphons…

>Nnnf…!

56 only smiled.

“It’s okay, it can wait until after I’m done, catbutt!”
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>Chrysalis
"SA"
~~~~

>HOSHITSLAMMA!

"Do you know I ended up spending over a thousand bits on those little door stoppers? Those are for you, and only you. I have no other need for a tiny little rubber stopped, except for the fact that you slam my door like a Crystal-Fairy-Dust fiend looking for a fix."

>Okay, I will TOTALLY get back to there being drugs made from crystal in a second-

"Try it and pain."

>-but I've got bigger concerns. Equestria Games didn't happen yet, right?

"Riiiiight?"

>And they're still being held here, right?

"Seeing as we're the one place that hasn't gotten stomped yet, right."

>...I want in.

"Of course I was going to let you go, that would be mean otherwise-"

>No no, I want IN.

"In in?"

>In as in what I want you to do to my funspot over and over. In deeeeep.

"Ah. See, we have a problem here. The games are for races with actual, like, countries. You do not have a country. You have a ballroom. A ballroom ON LOAN."

>Okay, first off, my 'ballroom' is full of creatures that are provably capable of taking over a country. If I wanted to, I could depose most of those other guys and you know it.

"Comforting."

>Bigger point, I'm doing this for diplomacy. Right now, thanks to Queen Fuckzilla, ponies are afraid of us. Really afraid. As well they should, we're awesome and there is one of us out there who can eat ursa majors for breakfast. But afraid is bad, and we want good. Follow me? If they see us out there playing with them and NOT being invasive bug monsters, then maybe they'll stop thinking we literally eat souls. Which we don't, in case you were wondering.

"...Uh, wow. That's actually... the most political I've ever seen you. And you know what? Kind of makes sense."

>It better, I talked at a mirror for like an hour for this.

"Really? Just out of curiosity, how long do you prepare your 'pick up lines' for me?"

>Most are improvised.

"That's strangely relieving."

>Couple I work on for DAYS.

"Heartbreaking. Feels like I'm blowing your work apart now."

>I'll blow something of YOURS apart!

"...Ow."

>That was improvised.

"Was it really?"

>...Y-yes.

"Well, I agree with you about the Equestrian Games thing. This probably will help quite a bit, so long as you play fair of course."

>Fair warning, I'm entering 42 in there, 'fair' is a bit of a stretch. No cheating, if that's what you meant, unless it's you and me under the bleachers.

"Well, I'm all for it, but I have to ask...Why'd you ask me anyway? Should you have asked Applejack first?"

>HAH! Oh Shiny, Shiny Shiny Shiny, no.

"Why?"

>Because, dear Shiny, I am fully aware there is every chance Chitty Chitty is going to show back up at the event, and if that happens.

She brought her face close to his, very, very close.

>I want them protected by the one who WON'T lock them up in a rec room and throw them to the timberwolves. If dear Auntie Chitania shows up again... we're not sitting on the sidelines.

His eyes grew sad, just a bit.

"I wish you would trust more than just me."

She just abruptly turned, and headed towards the door.

>I wish they would let me.
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>Gwen
"Captain"
~???~
{???}
~~~~~

Even while she watched the world fly by out the window, she knew he was staring.

>Something on your mind, Soldier?

"I wish we didn't have to be in the same car with these ponies."

>You insisted we take the train home.

"Yes, but in the private car."

>I am a miserly sort, you should know this by now. Be happy I sprang for the crystal train instead of the more fragile pony train.

Wisely, he did not press the issue. Good thing too, she may have ended up agreeing with him otherwise.

It's not that she despised ponies, but their recent behavior annoyed her. Their leaders were all a bit too soft for her liking. That one prince, Shining Armor, especially was starting to grate on her nerves.

When he had seen that he allowed that damned Queen into his home, she had nearly lost her mind.

She raped his mind, and possibly his body, kidnapped his wife, assaulted his Princess and nearly wiped out his home and all he loved. That he would want anything but her death was madness. Any one of those would have been enough for her blood to have been spilt as payment, and yet there she was. No mind control, no threats, he had just welcomed her and there she stayed.

It honestly made her stomach turn.

She knew the Queen was not legally at fault for what occurred with Chitania, but she'll be damned if she didn't find herself blaming the insect all the same.

She just needed to find out how to word it so she could-

>...Why have we stopped?

“MAJESTY LOOK OUT-”
~~~~~~

The next few minutes were... hazy, to say the least.

She remembered her car being lifted into the air.
She remembered seeing flashes of green.
She remembered the walls collapsing in.
She remembered the floor dropping out from under her.
She remembered hitting hard gravel.
And then nothing.

...Please don't let that crunching noise be what she thinks it is.

>...Oh, thank goodness.

Admittedly, this wasn't normally the reaction one has when they see a giant dragon standing tall above them, but the fact he was munching on the train she had been riding in and not a pony, or king forbid one of her soldiers, was reason to be at least a little relieved. The fact she could not move her wing, and had very likely landed on it? That was another story. Still, it could have been much worse, she realized. Her Captain had taken the brunt of most of her fall, likely the reason she was still conscious, and looked quite injured.

A quick survey told her that most of her fellow passengers were still unconscious and hopefully not dead. All except for one. A green earth pony with a bright red mane, and an unconcerned look on her face. Poor thing must have gone numb...

>You...

The dragon only now decided to notice her.

>You will regret your actions.

She did not have her swords, nor her guards, but she'll be damned if she stayed down.

>I am the Queen of the Gryphons! I rule more land than you will traverse in your lifetime! And you have the audacity to attack me!?

{Reeeeally?}

Oh, okay, so the pony could talk. She'd be slightly relieved if said pony wasn't grinning like a lunatic, eyes flickering as her mind raced. But more pressing matters existed..

The dragon gulped down a mouthful of the crystal train, barely regarding her.

~You're a Queen?~

She puffed out, spreading her talons wide.

>I AM!

~Damn, royals get all pissy about stuff like this. Better not leave you alive.~

She did her very best not to show fear as his claws came down. She could not move quick enough to dodge, she could not fly away, and she could not strike back. At the very least, her end would be faced with dignity.

>There shall be a vengeance upon you. My kin shall-

Her resigned last speech died on her tongue, and with it any dignity she had been hoping to keep. Any chance of retaining a stern, strong presence was lost when the green earth pony raced forward and bucked the dragons claw. And, rather than the comical nothing she expected to happen...

~OW!~

He cradled his bruised claw close, wearily looking down on the pony.

~What in the name of Mother's Flame!? That hurt!~

{You think that is what it is to hurt!?}

Before the gryphons very eyes, her form was consumed by flame.

{You know nothing of pain.}

The flame exploded outward, covering more and more area and forcing her back.

{But today, you shall learn. For today, you face power incarnate.}

The smoke cleared, and her heart collapsed. It was her...

{You face CHITANIA THE TITAN!}

The dragon seemed to be unphased by the now massive beast that stood before him.

~Is your dumb pony trick supposed to scare me?~

Gwen may despise every single flake of the black, chitinous hide, but even she had to admit that was one hell of a headbutt. The shattered remains of the canyon wall behind him likely agreed.

~...WELL!~

He exploded from the rubble, dirt going off in every direction.

~FUCK YOU TOO!~

With a deep roar, he lunged. The Changeling before him let out another cackle, met his charge. Red scaled fists slammed into her tank like hide, hooves snapped outward and landed against solid scales, the rocks along the canyon wall shaking with every blow as the two massive creatures landed blow upon blow on one another. The dragon had believed she would fall in but a single blow. Every single strike that took the air from his lungs told him he had been wrong. Every time, he flinched away in pain, while she took the brunt with no reaction. She pressed forward, giving him no room to run as he so obviously was attempting to do, and he grew desperate.

Claws shaper than any sword lashed out, cutting alongside her face. In pain, she stumbled back just enough for him to spread his wings, and lift into the air. With the advantage of the skies a need to see her dead, he fell back on that most classic of dragon techniques. His head reared back, and then jutted forward abruptly, flame spilling from his maw in a wide wave of destruction.

She was unmoved.

Her own energy launched upward, far more focused and forceful than his flame. It cut through the red fire, blowing it back with the sonic force wind that followed it. Nimbly, the great reptile dodged the green lance that nearly took off his head. He prepared to make a sweeping run and unleash more hell upon the prone opponent, but he did not get the chance.

She had already joined him in the air.

Even though she knew that, logically, she should have no room to talk, Gwen still called bullshit.

The dragon would have joined her if a pair of very sharp and very painful fangs had not sunken into his arm at that very disbelief filled moment. She rolled to the side, painfully spinning him around in the air, and angling him just underneath her shoulder. His wings collapsed with the abrupt turn, and the advantage of the air gave way to the painful hard earth below. Surely, she must have made them go faster with some sort of magic, the Gryphon said to herself. How else could she explain the massive explosion of earth and stone, and the deep crater left in it's wake.

She rose above her downed opponent like a monolith of pain, a smirk of victory on her face. Her hooves struck out, catching him across the face, neck and snout, hammering him further and further into the grounf. Gasping and choking with every breath, he could only pitifully cover his face in fear beneath her, shying away and crying out with every strike.

~U-uncle...~

Her blows ceased, and she was thoughtful, considering of her next move. Her hoof was still poised to strike, eager and waiting.

{Will that skew it?}

~W-what?~

The black tip of her limb trailed along his neck, almost shaking with anticipation.

{...I suppose I had better not risk it.}

Abruptly, she stepped off him.

{Go tell your brethren what happened today. If I hear you have lied, I will find you.}

In a panic, he fled. Wings flapping pathetically amidst a limping, stumbling take-off. He couldn't fly straight, but he sure could fly fast.

{And now...}

Her eyes suddenly went wild again, and she turned them skyward, scanning for something in the clear blue air.

{BRING YOUR JUSTICE!}

And she waited.
And waited...
And waited...

{...WHERE IS HE!?}

Had she any means to collect her senses, Gwen would have asked her why she suddenly turned and furiously began counting her downed guards.

{...Six! There are six! SO WHERE IS HE!?}

She held back a flinch as the beast suddenly turned on her.

{WHERE IS WAN-PRIME HALIAETUS!?}

Hopefully, her pride would eventually recover from openly gawking at the Changeling Queen.

>You can't be serious.

{I met all the requirements! Six died beneath me when I arrived in your village, six saved from the fires of another, a land close to the sea from which he can emerge, and the Royal whom sought justice to preside over the ruling! Everything should be aligned, so why does the great Eagle not appear!?}

It took every single shred of her self control not to slap a talon to her beak.

>Because Wan-Prime Haliaetus is fake.

{...WHAT!? But... he was presented as fact in your literature!}

>He's presented as fact to the commoners, yes, but in reality he's a farce. There is no giant eagle who swoops down and weighs your sins against your deeds for good. He is just a mouthpiece my forefathers used to prevent any appeals from the common folk for their judgements, nothing more than one of his servants in a disguise. We haven't even done one of his ceremonies in over three decades. I found the whole thing stupid.

She expected the Queen to rage.
To lose her mind.
To stomp her flat.
To burn her in green fire.
To demand she call him forth, even though she may as well have been calling forth the feather-fairy.
She did not expect her to sigh like a disappointed hatchling.

{...Well, this was a waste of time.}

The callous brush off burned the monarch right to her very core.

>You are Chitania, right?

She cocked an eyebrow, disappointment still very visible on her face.

>I just wanted to give you a message, one Queen to another.

The feathered brow narrowed, and her eyes grew dangerous.

>Even though it will not come from a god, it will come all the same. You will pay for your actions, with blood. Be it by me or those who come after, you will pay with your life

She actually looked amused.

{Oh? And what if I were to, say, repent? Ask for forgiveness?}

>You will find my forgiveness at the end of a blade.

The rival Queen's eyes grew hard...

>OOF!

And then almost playful as she poked the mix of bird and beast in the breast, sending her tumbling back with not a single wisp of effort.

{Best of luck with that.}

In a flash of green fire, the gigantic beast was gone.

And at last, Gwendolyn could breath again, and began to tend to the wounded.

~~~~

Tens of Miles away, Chitania blinked in confusion. She had only intended to go out of sight, but her grasp on Fire Flight was... well, unsteady, to say the least-

That's when her breath hitched.
Her lungs filled with fire.
Her pupils shrunk.
Her lips curled back into a snarl.
And a bellow of pure, undiluted rage escaped her fanged mouth.

...And then she abruptly calmed down when she noticed her popcorn maker, with all of it's contents, were not two steps from her.

{Phew!}

In the sky above, you could not see the stars. But if you could... you would notice them twinkling as if in mirth.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

non-canon
>77
"Various Changelings"
~~~~

>Alright, what's all this talk about branching off into sections? That kind of talk is dangerous.

"Well I'm sorry, but we are not going to compromise on this!"

"Yeah, Gleaming Shield belongs with Cadenza!"

"CHRYSLYS!"

"CADENZA!"

"Dark Helmet!"

"81"

"Solestial!"

"Am I the only one that still ships him with Owt?"

"Fucking YES!"

"Sweet crispy chitin backside, man! That's his daughter!"

"...That is my fetish."

"You are going in the corner again."

"NO! IT'S DRAFTY!"

>...What the devil are you talking about.

"Okay, it's like this, Cadenza is actually MARRIED to the guy, but these idiots think he belongs with someone else."

"And this idiot can't see that Chryslys is perfect for him! She's wild, carefree, sexually forward and she trusts him more than anything! His life would be so much better if he ditched that boring nag!"

"Pfft, Dark Helmet is all of that AND loyal!"

"Pfft, 81's all of that, AND smart!"

"PFFT! Solestia is all of that, AND she has a history with the guy AND she's really powerful!"

"EAT A DICK! THEY'RE MARRIED!"

"You can ALL eat dicks, TRUE master race coming through!"

"Oh yeah, and who are you guys!?"

"The ones who know the truth. The truth is not ONE of them succeeding, but instead..."

"...Sweet mother of Chrysalis."

"It... it's brilliant."

"""""""""""""""""BRILLIANT!"""""""""""""""""

"Come here my brothers and sisters!"

They all embraced, a true hive once more.

>...You know, the fact she thinks one of you has the potential to usurp her is... worrying, I'll be frank.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon continuation...
>42
"Various changelings"
~~~
>Okay, what the hell, why are you guys standing at opposite sides of the ballroom?

"Those.... Philistines! They want to see Thorn get together with Crackerjack! He's already back to dating Charity, as he should be!"

"You dense motherfuckers! Charity had her chance with Thorn! She fucking blew it, and who was there for Thorn? That's right, Crackerjack!"

"You're fighting canon, asshats!"

"It's not canon when it violates everything that's been established in the stories so far!"

"Do I detect butthurt?"

"Only yours after I wrecked your mom last night!"

>Whoa! Whoa! Uhh... Not that I'm interested but.... Spike's decided to get with Princess Rarity?

The ballroom looks at 42 like she grew extra heads

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"We're not talking about Spike, Rarity, and Applejack. We're talking about the dragon Thorn and princesses Charity and Crackerjack in Princess Rarity's novels."

>... You all have shit tastes, those are just her crappy self-insert fics.

"... Them's fightin' words, 42."

>And wouldn't you know it? I love fighting!

The entire ballroom charges and so does 42
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon
~~~
A gilded hoof dipped into the basin of blood and began to carefully trace the glyphs, circles, and runes as exactly as they were in the book while reciting the incantation.

"I hereby propose thou shalt come under my command, and thy sword shall control my fate."

It was a lie, whatever she summoned, whoever she summoned, it was not her fate she worried about.

But his.

"Abiding by the summons of the of The Royal House, if thou doth ascede to this will and reason, answer me."

It was difficult.

Difficult to remember all these words and the meanings both to herself and the ancients who first recorded them. Remembering these patterns, how the flow of magic must be controlled, woven, and cast through time and space and beyond.

But if she succeeded, it would be useful to protect Shining Armor.

"I hereby swear that I am all is good in the eternal world."

She didn't like the arrogance of those words, but she would say them and mean them none-the-less and believe it with all her heart if she had to.

The circle, the runes, the portal. It was complete.

"I am disposer of evil in the eternal world. Thou, clad with the Great Harmony, come forth from this circle of constraint."

The magic in the air crackled and swelled, the scent of ozone began to fill the dark room and the runes flared to life with arcane energies.

Slipping off her shoes and pricking her legs with them, she let the blood fall onto the circle and finished the summoning.

"Guardian of the heavens!"

The light became blinding.

Something had gone wrong.

Of course it was, she wasn't powerful like Celestia, smart like Twilight, or even cunning like Chrysalis...

Instead of rising from the circle, a small explosion rocked the uppermost floors of the palace.

Cadence burst into the room where she could see smoke seeping from beneath the doors and shouted in panic to keep others from investigating.

But what if that was the wrong idea? She had made one mistake with the summoning, what if instead of calling on a hero she only unleashed some terrible monster.

Then she would confront it and not dare put him in danger.

As she reached out with a shaking, and still bleeding hoof, she thought that at the very least, if she died, a half dozen others would show him the love he deserved.

Moonlight poured into the ruins of the room, and instead of some strange terror, she was confronted with a handsome, alicorn prince of dusky grey coat, a faded, teal mane, and familiar, but cold grey eyes. He was otherwise dressed in a blackened armor that covered his cutiemark with a cloak around the shoulders and now sprawling on the floor beneath him.

He smiled at her in his relaxed seat atop the ruins of countless, priceless treasures.

"Well haven't I been summoned by the most particular of masters?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"Young Morlock"
'Trader Morlock'
-Soldier Morlock-

>...okay. Seriously. The fuck?

Chitania couldn't see her hoof in front of her face, the darkness around her was so pervasive. With a growl she alighted her horn aaaand...

>HOLY SHIT FUCK!

"Tegrask?"

The small pale, blue-veined creature looked up at her with yellowed eyes, a shaggy mane falling down to around his forelegs. He tilted his head curiously.

>WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE!?

"Shigra? Tuvarak tegrask?"

>...no, really, what ARE you? Aside from an abomination against nature.

The creature blinked.

"Heejara, ponik?"

>I'm asking the questions here, shrimp!

The creature's eyes went wide, then a smile broke across his face, showing off nubby little fangs on either side.

"Jukastus ponik!"

Chitania blinked as the creature turned tail and ran down the tunnel the two were standing in.

>HEY! DON'T YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME! GET BACK HERE AND START MAKING SENSE OR I'LL INCINERATE YOU!

"Traad Brokar! Traad Brokar! Ponik igroth traad!"

The little monstrosity's voice echoed down the tunnel. Chitania growled and was soon chasing after him, ready to punish the whelp for his insolence. She turned a corner and ran into him...as well as two larger ones, one slender, one muscular. The muscular one shrunk back, muscles tensing under armor of some kind of exoskeleton, pointing a stone spear at her. The slender one, however, smiled.

'Little brother was not lying, a pony has come to US to trade!'

>...fucking hell there's more of you!?

'Of course there are more! There are many! Welcome pony, we trade now, yes?'

>Trade? Trade what?

'Anything! Trading is important, says head of metal, we mostly trade glitterstones, but we can trade much more!'

>I don't have anything to trade, you fucking freak!

'What about machine on your back?'

Chitania looked back at her popcorn machine, then glared at the creatures.

>Touch it and die.

'Well then how can the trading happen, pony? We want to trade, but trade is not trade if things are not exchanged...learned that the hard way...'

>Okay, here's a trade for you. Tell me all about your gods and I won't lay waste to your civilization!

To her surprise, the monster brightened up further.

'We have gods, we have many gods, right Soldier Brother?'

-Yes, Trade Brother. Less than before though...-

>Less?

'Zhetri Tuulh revealed many truths to us, many of our gods were not gods at all.'

-Mostly rocks.-

'But gods remain, many gods! We may trade these gods!'

>Well, maybe this won't be a complete waste of time-

'We start with the giant yellow demon in the sky!'

>Oh fuck off you stupid-!

And like she was gone. The Morlocks blinked.

"Ponik witak?"

'I do not know, little brother, and stop speaking the old tongue, head of metal taught you better!'

"Sorry."

-Bad trade, Trade Brother?-

'Not at all, Soldier Brother!'

The trader beamed.

'We may not have gotten things, but we have traded! And head of metal says that one trade will promise two trades and on and on! Now come, ponies wish to trade with us, and soon we shall return to their white city and trade again!'

-But not for food bags.-

'No, never again for food bags...tricksy pony princess...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

She considered the idea of interrupting them, of telling them to sleep in their proper beds, she even had genuine concern for both to do it.

But when she saw the smiles curling both their lips, the comfort they seemed to share in the strange tangle, half-sprawled on the desk they found themselves in, how said position somehow made it possible for each one to drool on the other, or snore into their ears...

It made Rarity herself smile. Though she knew she'd have to start 'stepping up her game' as they say later. For now, she let Spike and Applejack sleep.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"SA"
~~~~

"42, I'm fine. Really."

>Well, I do suppose your recovery is going well...

"Should probably start sparring again soon-"

>NO!

"..."

>...Er, I mean... no. Not right now. You are doing better, but not that much better.

"I'm mostly healed."

>Mostly is not good enough. You are not well enough to fight.

"Hey, make no mistake, I'm enjoying my time off. But I've got to keep on my hooftips here. If Chitania had arrived back at the wedding, she'd have fed me my teeth one molar at a time. Only reason I didn't get beaten down like an errant schoolcolt is because you beat the lazy out of me."

>...I am very impressed that you fared so well against her, I admit. Chitania is a legend among the Changelings, the strongest Queen of them all.

"Oh?"

>Yes... at least, that is what Chrysalis said. I do not remember much. Never met her personally before that day. Which is why...

"...42?"

>Please don't fight her like that again. Shining Armor... we need you around. Currently, the only ones my species can rely on for assistance is Applejack, or you. If we lose you, especially to one of us...

"...Hey, come on."

He draped one of his forelegs over her tense shoulders, bringing her close.

"If she comes back, we'll face her together. All of us this time, no more solo stuff."

>I... thank you, that is very relieving to hear. I wish you would not engage her at all, but I will compromise.

"And I'm not going to leave you, I promise."

That floor mat must be very, very interesting.

>A-ah, y... yes, good. My hive is of course appreciative of your efforts, and-

"42."

Nope, still too interesting to look up from.

"I said I'm not going to leave YOU, either. Okay?"

>...You'd better not.

Oh dear, someone seems to have spilled some water on the mat.

Well, she'll have to get back to training later, no way can she train with water on the mat like that.

Good thing too, her chest was hurting.

Might have to get that checked out when she can finally move her limbs again.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Soarin'
"???"
~~~~~

In all his long, long years of training, Soarin' had seen many dangers.

Faced many foes.

Done many things that would test him both physically, and mentally. But nothing could ever come close to this. At last... he was broken.

>T-this...

He held up the plate, inspected it once more, and began to laugh.

>The Apple Pie tastes like...b-bluberry! Aha... Ahaha!...AHAHAH!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

From behind the door, the Changeling Queen shared a brief look with her two companions in crazy.

"Uh... maybe Coccinellidae isn't as useless as I thought."

Behind the door, the laughter ran long into the night.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Shining Armor"
~~~
"Hey, bro, what's up?"

>Shining, I'm in seriously deep- water and need help.

"Wow, well, just tell me how I can help. I mean what's a big bro like me here for?"

>Well... I've been forging, you know, metal forging, gifts for various ponies.

"That sounds pretty kickass, so what's the problem, need some design ideas? I'd totally love a chainsword if you're working on something for me."

>Noted, but that's not it. Two found out and she wanted me to make you a gift.

"Awww, that's sweet."

>Yeah, except she doesn't get basical metallurgy, so I don't know how to explain to her that you cannot actually forge a crown of 'marchmalleys' without breaking her heart.

"... You just don't, Spike. You just don't. Just gotta find some way to warp reality and hope for the best."

>Load of help you were...

"What's a big bro like me here for?"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________