dev 7 - acceptance

The man would be guiding the previous knight towards a place that they are so very familiar with, a place that might even bring back memories. He heaves a heavy breath, bringing his palm up to his mask, to remove it, and allow his face to take on the breeze of air filling the fields.

"It's been a while since we've last been here, hasn't it?" - he'd smile ever so lightly, but the façade will not stop Nerin from simply feeling something off with the man by his side.

They were adults now, but that does not change much - they knew eachother, even though they had parted ways multiple times alongside their history.

"It's started some time ago, when the raid took place." - a pause is being made as he sighs once more, offering a chuckle of defeat, seemingly. He shakes his head, seemingly disappointed. "You see, have you ever..felt as if something was not right, as if..you should not have done something."

Lax's sight remained stuck forth, gliding through the flora and fauna that might be lying in the forests.

"The problem is, Nerin, I did not feel that way, when almost an entire village of innocents and guilty people alike got murdered, because of me. I know nobody died, but thinking that they'd die, I did not feel bad.

I can not say I enjoyed it, but I did not regret it. If I could, knowing this time they'd die, I would do it again.

Over, and over, and over again..."

That much he'd call out, licking his lips as in wetting them some, having been dehydrated for the past few days, seemingly.

"But this is only the beginning, Nerin. I have started realizing things, and I honestly...don't think this is wrong, or right. The World is far too gray to be split in two - it is just what needs to be done, so that others may live.

Things die, for others to be born and life, and on, and on...and on..."

With that much said, Lax crossed his arms - he knew it was a lot of information to take in, as to why he had been rather moody lately, but that was no excuse for anything that might happen. Nerin, however, would be left to think, silence following after the man's speech.
(Myrrdin)

Perhaps in the past, he would disagree with this point of view. But after experiencing the betrayal at many hands of the others, he couldn't exactly feel sympathy to these people anymore - because they'd all stab him in the back, despite his best intentions. Time and time again..

"Yes, it has."

This area.. it caused him to reminisce for a bit; here, a steady look around was given to observe the area and the changes that it had gone through, and yet.. it almost feels far too similar for what it was - something that he found rather bizarre, really.

If left alone..
Would nature persevere and remain unchanged?

"It's difficult for me to feel sympathy for that village, Lax. They've killed a close friend of mine, and I know it - no matter how much others try to tell me that Jasper is still alive, that he's actually the real one.."

".. I know that he's not."

You cannot lie to a heart like this. Deep inside, he knew all along that it would be far too late for Jasper, even if he tried to convince him otherwise. And when he confirmed all that he had to confirm.. he realized that it's over.

That his friend is dead.

"I.. began to realize that sometimes people die so others can live differently, so that they can become more." After all, Nerin felt rather incredible changes within. Starting from his magical potency, ending up with the results in his life.. it's almost as if hardly anything could stop him.

Was he high on determination..
Or anger and rage?

"Why? Been contemplating something lately?"
(Nerin)

The nature, the World, if left alone, it would reign over all. If only humanity would let it at peace, things could perhaps be different - that is something the Druids had learned, and yet they are all so selfish on passing the wisdom.

Fakes..

Destroy them, destroy them all...

This is what resonates through the man's mind as he remains silent for the time being. "Jasper is dead." - that much was said, following with: "I know because I was the one told to spread the word of him being alive and wounded. I know Cornelia very well, she would never be so peaceful. It was a clear lie since the beginning."

And where had this mission brought him? Would the results benefit him in any way? Had he gained anything from having worked so hard, for all these years, as an agent?

"Do you know what she's told me, after two years of constantly aiding the village, fishing a few Order secluded information to her, as well?"

Lax looked Nerin's way, with a questioning look on his visage, as if letting the man guess what the purple haired man would think of. "She told me that I was too slow, even though all I've done, it was done in the blink of an eye. That I am an outsider, and they do not trust me."

There was no God, and the bloodlust would be ralling within the man's veins - all the despair and pain gathered in the previous years, it would be finally running inside of his blood.

"I thank myself for being temperate, else I would have jumped at her neck." - such is said, the man's attention being directed from Nerin, to the wilds, as vines are brought forth, summoned.

"I would have loved bathing in her blood, and I do not need to do it to be able to confirm it. To stab her, repeatedly, over and over again, to hang her against the tree that they most venerate, with more holes than humanly possible in her body, to bleed out, as an example to her people.

I will do that.

A lick of one's lips could be seen, with the man by Nerin's side smirking, seemingly simply pleased with the image of that. It was not something that brought him pleasure, it brought him ecstasy.

It was a different feeling, he lived for that.

He lived for Death...
(Lax)

Deep inside, he knew there would be little justice in this world. How could they forget Jasper's death? Why would they trust the Occultists, which are known for some trickery, to actually keep him alive? Why did they not suspect a thing, especially when Nerin questioned the man time and time again...

'He forgot', they said. Do they even listen to themselves? Do they hear the blatant lies that they're telling themselves? It's one thing to be fooled by another, when the masks of subterfuge are carefully obstructed behind the scenes.. where smoke and mirrors become something that a naked eye could not resist..

But this?
This was pathetic.

"Is it wrong.." His gaze trails off. ".. that when they claimed Jasper is alive, that when they condemned my truth.." Steadily, it points towards the ground.

"That I wanted them to be attacked.. to die.."
"So their deaths would be also discarded in such way."

'How does it feel, to be forgotten so quickly?' He imagines that it would be the first words he would say while standing above their graves.. for just as they discarded Jasper's death, someone who's done nothing wrong but follow orders.. for their lives, accomplishments, dreams and hopes - for all of it to be forgotten in an instance.

His heart cannot forgive. And it cannot forget.. because even now, he could've sworn that he'll bid and wait his time - that just like Lax here, he would sink his mind in temperance, await the right moment, await for his time to shine bright with the truth that they've denied for far too long.

That one day..
He'll kill her.

"..So would I. She's taken something precious from me. Something that can never return now." Eye for an eye, tooth for tooth. Perhaps, barbaric way of thinking, but.. when it comes to the people that would decapitate his friend..?

Does the butcher care.. when the pig squeals?

"What is it that you dream of..?"
(Nerin)

There was a difference in perspectives, when it came to the two of them, Nerin and Lax. One aimed to kill for revenge, while the other aimed to kill for..being denied knowledge, happiness...

That much was true, even though the latter would mask his selfish ways with the duty the World had entrusted him with - for some, it would be obvious, that he does it somewhat out of the thrill of it, if not...pleasure.

"It is not wrong. I will work on Atrosus myself." - that much is said, and nothing more. This man, he did not feel poetic, not anymore, growing stoic and militant, not allowing much emotion in his ways, except for the thirst of blood seemingly. For all intents and purposes, the purple rose, it became black, or as black as dark as purple can ever become...

Times changed, and so did people. Two smug, innocent children, sparring and arguing for a living, have come to discuss such things, in the place that perhaps reminds them the most of childhood.

But it feels like yesterday...

It does. It truly does, but unfortunately, one could not go back. One may not go back...

"She has taken my chance to become more, something that one may never do, for her mere absence and lack of integrity."

If anything, he hated with passion waiting in vain, which is what he's done for the past two years. Wasted time, only invested in turning on spiteful, throwing them into despair.

When it happens, they will not see it coming.

When their village burns, they will not see it coming. When the man will reign victorious, holding the woman's head in his palm, they will understand their mistakes. It was no threat.

It was a promise.

"I will make things right, as they are supposed to be. False people of the wilderness will not have place on this Continent as long as I have breath."
(Lax)

Isn't that what he wants? To bring justice to the world, and yet.. no matter how much he tried, that justice did not exist. Instead, he'd end up hearing about losses of people time and time again - and now, the losses of his own. The blood of the innocent spills, the people are denied their hopes and dreams, and the ever converging snake coils around everyone's necks. Yet, it used to be so simple..

Do you remember the time when little things made you happy..
Do you remember the time when simple things made you smile?

People sang, and laughter rang.. amidst the crowd, the Church bell rang.. these days were simpler, back when they were just mere children. But.. it's not possible to have them back, is it? To think that they used to bicker a certain way, to think that they used to decide among themselves who's right and wrong, with the constant back and forth that never truly led anywhere.. but how ignorant they were.

What happened to those days?
What happened to those nights?

"I do not believe that Atrosus could change his ways. If anything.. I don't want to rely on Exarchs or Radiants anymore." A turn of a glance is given to Lax. "We don't need them. We'll be great on our own." Something that he's been mulling over in his mind time and time again.. the change upon which he discovered that only those that have truly opened their hearts to you are worth the trust.

Tell me I am not alone..
Tell me we are not alone in this world fighting against the wind..

At times, it feels desperate, as if they truly are alone. "..You can still become more, Lax. I-- we can discover the secrets to their knowledge. Together."

"This is not the end. It should never be."

Only death is the end. And sometimes, not even then.. for when he thinks of it, what would the deaths of many change? It would sate their lust for revenge, for blood, or quell the bitterness within..

But one must always think ahead.

"What will you do, once it's over?"
(Nerin)

Heartbeats could be heard.

The man's heart beats, harder and harder, as chills on his spines would start to grow more and more, all the time that he thinks of it, which means every moment since then...

When they were younger, none of this existed. When they were younger, things were simpler. When they were younger, they aspired to perhaps become renowned for their deeds as Knights, or Exarchs. When they were younger...

...they were blind.


This snake, the one coiling around people's necks had existed since the dawn of Creation, yet they were not getting to understand it, or even see it. The man, he perhaps took a taste of it too soon, as he understands how Creation rules, and what its regulations are, but that did not change much in his ways.

It only started to affect him now.

"I do not want to change Atrosus' ways. I want to kill him." - that much is being said, short and concise. "I do not need them, Nerin. All I have done, I have done for myself, trying to better myself, trying to become a good person and to help the World grow, as much as I could.

No more."

You are not alone, brother..
You will never be alone in this world, fighting the unwinnable.

"Their knowledge is not secret, I understood the way it works, but rituals must be upheld to gain access to Druidism, rituals that we can not yet perform.

This is not the end, Nerin, it will never be, as long as I draw breath."

Death. One must not be denied the Good Death as long as he had fulfilled his duty, but the man, he had not fulfilled what he had been entrusted with, and he will not accept It as long as he feels not whole.

Was it time to hope? One could not tell.

Was it time to think of the future's greatness? That much was true, and Lax would sadly be lacking on such.

"I will keep the balance on this Continent, of what means to be Natural, and what it means to be a true Druid. I will teach my ways to the worthy, and I will cut off those who do not deserve to live, those who are weak, and those whom have strayed from their Path.

The people of Moonfall, they will be my first mission."

Perhaps, that was too idealistic, or cruel of him - the weak have time to grow, but the World, it did not wait for nobody to grow.

It struck when one was the most vulnerable, which is when It tests the worthy, and separate them from the unworthy.

It was Life.
(Lax)

Trusting one's heart isn't as bad as some portray it to be. Back then, when he remembers everything that's been said, everything that they all have experienced.. and the way that they responded against it. It all was.. rather futile, was it not? All of it was somewhat lost, in the end, for there's only one truth upon such thing..

They're here to look out for one another.
And there's no one else.

To an extent, this gives him insight on what must be done next- for the moment that he presented even a single failure, even one that's not been fuelled by his own conscious effort, the rest were ready to turn against him as if he was a genuine traitor. As if he ever wanted this..

Why would they ever think..
That he became something else?

Something terrible enough to attack his comrades- something horrible enough to try their life. Neither his previous deeds nor his demeanor were taken in account, which only caused him to think of a different ways in which human mind works, in which it perceives the danger and salvation.

Or maybe they were just never his real friends, to begin with.

"Atrosus won't be an easy target, and it's not something you should focus on. If anything, the Moonfall village currently holds prevalence in how threatening things are."

"And.. you do need your Druidism, do you not?"

By now, he knows what he has to do. When he was told to seek inner peace, he assumed it would be some bland meditation, some sort of distancing from the earthly matters - but the truth to it was right under his nose the whole time.

It was simple acceptance.

Of all that's been happening, of maybe rolling with the punches.. and actually understanding what you have to od now. Yet- when Lax affirms that much, a single hand extends upon his shoulder, all to acknowledge his words and wants alike.

"Then so it'll be."

"Maintain your focus on Moonfall. You have your task, and I have mine. It'll.. get better soon enough. Don't worry."

For all that were lost, and for all of those whom they lost.. it'll get better. One day.

Eventually.
(Nerin)