Spree (2020) EN

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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org

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Hey, guys, what's up?
Kurt here from Kurt's World.

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Hey, guys, how's it going?
It's Kurt from Kurt's World.

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Hey, guys, how's it going?
Kurt from Kurt's World here.

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Hey, what's up, guys?
Kurt here from Kurt's World.

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Hi, everybody.
This is Kurt from Kurt's World.

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And today I'm going to
draw my life.

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Something in these videos
that I really appreciate

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is everybody's complete honesty
in telling their life story.

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And where does
this story take place?

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Los Angeles...
That's where I was born,

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although shortly after, my
parents had to move out to Azusa

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'cause it's just a little bit
more affordable

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and better for raising a family.

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Hey, Dozier.

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Mom's gone, so I'm in charge.

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I remember it
like it was yesterday,

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and we watched the planes
crash into the buildings

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millions of times.

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People jumping
out of the windows,

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running around,
the dust, the fire.

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And even though I didn't fully
understand everything back then,

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I knew that no one could ever
forget an event like that,

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real or fake.

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Hey, what's up guys?
It's Kurt from Kurt's World.

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I'm here with my dad.
We're in the studio.

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Working on this dope
new track for Bezar.

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- Really?
- Yeah yeah.

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Well, check...
yeah check this out, though.

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Kurt's World.
Dad, seriously put the hat on.

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Alright.

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There you go.

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After the divorce,
Mom was really upset,

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so I decided to stay home
with her and be a good son.

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And I don't know
how it happened,

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but one thing led to another,

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and I started really
getting into online gaming.

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I'm gonna fuck you h... so...

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I'm gonna fuck you so hard.

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In 2009, I officially
started Kurt's World,

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kicking off the empire
you know today.

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That's pretty cool huh?

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This is a program
where I've made all

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of some of the most
influential beats

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and some of my top beats.

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Control-shift.

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That's my favorite shortcut.

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Life hacks, reviews,

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and all the little things
in between

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that make life really cool
and so much fun.

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That's where
all the magic happens.

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Just kidding. Um...

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What I like about these
right off the bat is that...

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is how they seem.

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The mouthfeel
on this... otherworldly.

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And that's also
when I started babysitting.

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You know, 'cause
it's important to stay current.

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Those kids were a great source
for new content.

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And I'm still friends
with most of them today.

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Shout-out to my friend
Bobby Bud Lee @BobbyBaseCamp.

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You tell them, Bobby.

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Oh, fuck you, fuck you,
fuck you.

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God fucking damn it!

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What's up, guys?
Here from Kurt's World.

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- What's up?
- Oh, my fucking God.

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Here with BobbyBaseCamp.

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- Fuck! I just died.
- What's up?

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Kurt, do not fucking
double-dip my stream.

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- Okay?
- Sorry.

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These values have followed me

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all the way to my new job,
a Spree driver.

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And the cool thing about Spree

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is that you're interacting
with people all the time.

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It's amazing for content
and for just in general.

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Wow, that is an old
Smart & Final right there.

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But it's not always easy making
great content day after day.

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Sometimes it's just you,
yourself, and your brain.

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And that can be frustrating.

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I haven't made a video
in a long time

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because it's... things aren't
really awesome for me right now.

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And it's been kind of hard
for me to find Kurt.

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Especially in these videos,

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it's been really tough
for me to find...

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It's been really tough for me
to find Kurt, and I'm just...

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It's been really tough
for me to find Kurt...

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I don't even know why
I'm making these videos.

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Metrics.

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It is a numbers game,
and right now...

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...I just feel like a zero.

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But that's usually when you come
up with your best breakthroughs.

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I know I did.

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Yo, guys, what's going on?

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It's me, Kurt from Kurt's World,

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and I just realized
something big.

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And I'm calling it "The Lesson."

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This is a surefire way for me
to go viral, and guess what.

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The best part being
I can do it all

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from the front seat of my Spree.

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So you guys stayed tuned,
buckle up,

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and I'll show you the ropes.

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Alright? Peace out.
Much love, you guys.

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#PeaceOut.

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Peace out.
Peace out.

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Make sure to follow...
follow me for "The Lesson."

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Peace out.

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Hey, guys, how's it going?
It's Kurt from Kurt's World.

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And welcome to "The Lesson."

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For all of you out there
who don't know me, get ready,

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'cause you're about to know me.

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I'm Kurt.

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Step one...
organizing your bottles.

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If you check out the video
that I uploaded last week

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on Kurt's World,
you're already gonna know

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how to prepare them
before your ride.

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You've got to remember, guys,

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what we're doing here
is important.

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You're creating a brand.

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Actually, hold up.

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Real step one...
get... your... rig... together.

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If you're not documenting
yourself, it's simple.

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You just don't exist.

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And for my premium subscribers,

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if you hop on to Kurt's World,
you can choose your own angles.

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Plus, I'll be screen-sharing
my phone all night

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for unlimited
behind-the-scenes access.

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So don't sleep on that.

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Okay, guys, well, I guess...
I guess that's it.

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I hope you guys enjoyed
this live stream,

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and make sure to share
and comment on all your socials

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using the hashtag #TheLesson.

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- Thanks, Kurt.
- Shit, I almost forgot.

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Mom.

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Hey, Mom.

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Let's go!

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I know that we all
have our issues.

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So let me just say this.

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There's a trigger warning
in place.

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I'm not gonna be offended
if you can't watch.

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But, yeah, for all my real ones
out there,

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uh, it's time to go viral, baby.

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Okay, guys, so we're here
at the first passenger's house.

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Uh, here to pick up Frederick.

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And here he comes.

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Alright, guys, now, the record
for a rideshare driver is six.

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So you're gonna want to
at least top that number

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if you want to hit it big-time.

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- Frederick.
- That's me.

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Hey. I'm Kurt,
your Spree driver.

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And you're going to
Grand Castle Banquet Hall.

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- Highland Park, right?
- You got it, brother.

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Let's go.

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Uh...

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Hey?

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What's up, dude?

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What's, uh, going on here?

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What?

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Lot of fucking cameras
in here, brother.

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Oh, yeah, right.

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Hey, guys.
Hope that's okay.

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And what if I say it isn't?

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It's for my protection.

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Oh, right, got you.

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Oh, there's some water
back there if you want some.

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I'm good.

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Got a charger, though?

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You bet.

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ABC.

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- Always be charging.
- Uh-huh.

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Well, I've been working
on a speech all day,

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so this sucker's drained.

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A speech?
Big event?

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About 3,000 people.

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3,000 people?
That's a lot of eyeballs on you.

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Yeah.
Lot of people are excited, so...

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Actually, you want
to tell my followers

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how you greet your audience?

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That would be great.

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What do you mean your followers?

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Right, yeah, no, I'm actually
just recording a tutorial.

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That's cool.
About what?

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Oh, I'm giving people tips
on how to, like, you know,

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up their social-media game.

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- <i>LMFAO.</i>
- Very cool.

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- While you're driving, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.

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It's good to see men like us

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trying to master this, you know,
social-media stuff.

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We're gonna need it.

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Yeah.

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What do you mean men like us?

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White men.

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You are white, aren't you?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, you are.

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It's good.
Say it with me.

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I'm white and I'm proud.

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Uh... no.

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Wait, are you Jewish?

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Whites, blacks, Asians, Latinos,
we're all the same.

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Okay.

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Have you read the IQ studies?

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Do you know what's going on
in Chicago right now?

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Bobby, don't worry.
It's all good.

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Who's Bobby?

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Your gender-queer, uh, partner?

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It's actually Bobby Bud Lee.

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@BobbyBaseCamp.
You don't know Bobby Bud Lee?

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What's up, guys? I'm out here
on my influencer bullshit.

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I'm on the...
I'm on the hover board.

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Look at this place.
It's crazy.

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So you all know what happens
when I get bored.

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And... secured.
You got got.

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Just regarding, like, the party

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that went down in my pad
last night,

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that girl who got thrown
off the balcony

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and hit her ankle on the pool,
not my fault.

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That dude who threw her off
clearly wasn't strong enough.

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What's up, BaseCamp?
Today we are feeling grateful.

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I'm in my home fucking theater
right now, BaseCamp.

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And that is all
thanks to you guys.

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00:11:03,555 --> 00:11:04,523
Actually, can I borrow it?

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00:11:04,556 --> 00:11:05,924
I actually really need
to use it for something.

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00:11:06,292 --> 00:11:07,526
Yeah, dude, what's up?
Fucker!

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00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,295
He give it back to me, dude.

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Phone King!
Hey, I'm zooming out of here.

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Okay, well, he's huge,

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and he's promoting my stream
on his channel tonight.

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But he might not do it
if there's too much racist shit

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- on here, so...
- You mean authentic shit?

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Yo, everyone,
being racist is not cool.

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Alright?
It's toxic.

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Like Bobby, he's authentic.

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And he gets free hotel rooms
and swag,

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so take a page out of his book.

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Thanks for the tip, snowflake.

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Oh, Jesus Christ.
A lot of fucking stop signs.

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00:11:37,956 --> 00:11:39,024
Hey, I don't see
any cops around.

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Should I blow this next one?

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You're gonna run the stop sign?

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Oh, shit!

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Fucking A, dude.
You're crazy.

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Just trying to spice
things up for my fans.

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Right, right. Wow.

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Remember, there's water
back there if you need it.

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Yeah, alright.
I am a little parched.

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00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:01,413
Yeah, you know,
for your big speech.

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00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:04,350
Yeah. You know,
you're okay for a libtard.

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Thanks.

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00:12:06,585 --> 00:12:08,387
You just need to wake up.

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I'm really trying
to get ready for my speech.

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00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,495
Do you mind?

251
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,297
Hey, are there a lot
of members in your group?

252
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:20,232
Yeah.
How far away are we?

253
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,468
Hey, you should let them know
that you're not gonna make it.

254
00:12:25,237 --> 00:12:26,305
What?

255
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,008
Does this water have,
like, a taste to it?

256
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,510
Am I crazy?

257
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,480
What are you talking about?
It's just pure water.

258
00:12:34,513 --> 00:12:35,948
Just gonna want to make sure

259
00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:37,483
that you remove
all the air bubbles.

260
00:12:37,516 --> 00:12:39,385
Not really.
I just like to do that.

261
00:12:39,418 --> 00:12:41,620
And then we're gonna inject this
right on the label,

262
00:12:41,654 --> 00:12:44,923
because that way
the passenger will never notice.

263
00:12:49,194 --> 00:12:50,362
Simple as that.

264
00:12:50,396 --> 00:12:51,597
Take your glue gun.

265
00:12:51,631 --> 00:12:53,132
It's been heating up
for a second.

266
00:12:53,165 --> 00:12:55,234
And all you got to do,
just a little tap.

267
00:13:04,009 --> 00:13:05,144
Airtight.

268
00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:06,478
Well, watertight.

269
00:13:23,996 --> 00:13:25,665
It's perfect.

270
00:13:25,698 --> 00:13:27,499
Check this out.

271
00:13:27,533 --> 00:13:29,401
I've already got a bunch done.

272
00:13:32,337 --> 00:13:34,641
One down, lots more to go.

273
00:13:34,674 --> 00:13:39,144
Okay, next we are
picking up Andrea.

274
00:13:41,146 --> 00:13:44,516
Yeah, okay, Bobby, sure.
Yeah, that's fake news.

275
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:46,753
That's actually a pretty good
point, though, guys.

276
00:13:46,786 --> 00:13:48,320
No one should be able to tell

277
00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:50,589
what you're doing is real
at first.

278
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,325
Because you want to get
as many done undetected

279
00:13:53,358 --> 00:13:55,461
for maximum attention
down the road.

280
00:13:55,494 --> 00:13:57,463
#TheLesson.

281
00:13:57,496 --> 00:13:59,164
Legacy.

282
00:13:59,198 --> 00:14:00,667
Okay, here we go.

283
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:05,103
She should be right here.

284
00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:08,474
Is Andrea with her friends?

285
00:14:08,507 --> 00:14:12,010
Oh, looks like Andrea is alone.

286
00:14:12,044 --> 00:14:13,278
I like that, though, you know.

287
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:15,280
One-on-one,
get to know the person.

288
00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:17,115
Slice of life.

289
00:14:18,484 --> 00:14:21,420
Oh, you know, guys,
technically that's litter,

290
00:14:21,453 --> 00:14:24,791
but I think she'll
get away with this one.

291
00:14:24,824 --> 00:14:26,793
Tell him to fuck off.

292
00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:32,097
- It's open.
- Yeah, maybe.

293
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,532
I'll see what she says.

294
00:14:33,565 --> 00:14:35,501
Hey, Andrea.

295
00:14:35,534 --> 00:14:37,302
- Yeah.
- Oh.

296
00:14:37,336 --> 00:14:39,338
No, no, no, no.

297
00:14:39,371 --> 00:14:42,107
We got some good nibbles.
We did. Mm-hmm.

298
00:14:43,141 --> 00:14:45,678
I'm going to Lincoln Heights.

299
00:14:45,712 --> 00:14:47,279
Yeah, there was this one
investment property

300
00:14:47,312 --> 00:14:49,581
you would cream your jeans over.

301
00:14:49,615 --> 00:14:52,618
Oh, I got these cameras set up.
Hope that's okay.

302
00:14:52,652 --> 00:14:56,255
No, I think the cactuses
are creating the perfect vibe.

303
00:14:56,288 --> 00:14:59,157
Yeah, it's like that cheesy
L.A. thing that we talked about.

304
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:01,560
On to the next
future yoga studio.

305
00:15:01,593 --> 00:15:05,330
No. Obviously I would never
actually say that to a client.

306
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:08,735
Michael, I'm so tired of you
second-guessing me.

307
00:15:08,768 --> 00:15:12,371
Well, I don't see you out here
fucking doing this.

308
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:18,410
Yeah. Look, I am in my Spree.

309
00:15:18,443 --> 00:15:20,813
I am going to be on the red-eye
in a few hours.

310
00:15:20,847 --> 00:15:23,382
Let's just figure this out
when we see each other.

311
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:26,618
Yeah, okay.

312
00:15:26,653 --> 00:15:28,153
Yeah.

313
00:15:46,605 --> 00:15:48,540
- What's up, beat master?
- I can't... I cannot ta...

314
00:15:48,574 --> 00:15:51,577
- I can't talk right now. Bye.
- Wait, wait, wait.

315
00:15:54,847 --> 00:15:56,582
Stop.

316
00:15:56,615 --> 00:15:58,383
- Don't hang up on me, dick.
- I cannot talk right now.

317
00:15:58,417 --> 00:15:59,719
- I can't talk right now.
- I need a ride!

318
00:15:59,752 --> 00:16:00,853
Bye. Bye.

319
00:16:14,232 --> 00:16:16,368
Okay, guys, okay.

320
00:16:16,401 --> 00:16:17,737
Just like the last guy,

321
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:18,905
we're gonna want to
get in their phone,

322
00:16:18,938 --> 00:16:20,505
but it's not always...

323
00:16:20,539 --> 00:16:21,841
Looks like this is
a newer phone,

324
00:16:21,874 --> 00:16:23,342
so you can't always
use the thumb.

325
00:16:23,375 --> 00:16:27,479
Sometimes you have to
use their face.

326
00:16:31,183 --> 00:16:32,384
Usually takes a couple tries.

327
00:16:36,221 --> 00:16:37,623
Yes, got it.

328
00:16:37,657 --> 00:16:39,826
First open your Spree app.

329
00:16:39,859 --> 00:16:42,527
Perfect.
Rate your driver.

330
00:16:43,663 --> 00:16:45,530
Five stars, I think.

331
00:16:45,564 --> 00:16:48,266
And here it just
asks you for a tip.

332
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,737
Usually I do something
kind of in the middle.

333
00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:53,438
So I'll leave $2.
Submit.

334
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:55,908
Next to tie up loose ends.

335
00:16:55,942 --> 00:16:59,244
Michael says, "Sorry.
Can't wait to see you later."

336
00:16:59,277 --> 00:17:00,847
What shall we tell Michael?

337
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,280
Uh...

338
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,349
"Fuck off.

339
00:17:04,383 --> 00:17:07,519
Canceling my red-eye.

340
00:17:07,552 --> 00:17:14,192
No one even reposts
your stuff anymore."

341
00:17:14,226 --> 00:17:15,795
Send. Perfect.

342
00:17:15,828 --> 00:17:17,362
Alright, you guys,

343
00:17:17,396 --> 00:17:18,765
you're not gonna have to
worry about things like this

344
00:17:18,798 --> 00:17:20,432
when it comes
to the final stretch.

345
00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,636
But for now, it really helps
to fend off suspicion.

346
00:17:50,997 --> 00:17:52,932
Hey, man, you like this music?

347
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,568
It works.

348
00:17:58,437 --> 00:18:00,305
Slaps, man.

349
00:18:02,842 --> 00:18:04,342
I made this beat.

350
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:08,014
This is my soundtrack.

351
00:18:08,047 --> 00:18:11,651
Why does rush hour start at
2:00 p.m. in this fucking city?

352
00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:13,019
You know, it just depends.
Where we are...

353
00:18:13,052 --> 00:18:16,756
Stop.
I don't want your opinion.

354
00:18:16,789 --> 00:18:18,658
- Well, you just ask... you...
- Stop.

355
00:18:18,691 --> 00:18:21,928
I'm just fucking saying.
I got to be somewhere ASAP.

356
00:18:21,961 --> 00:18:25,631
Okay, so, like, fix it
or shut the fuck up.

357
00:18:39,478 --> 00:18:42,380
Where... Where the fuck
are you going, dude?

358
00:18:42,414 --> 00:18:44,583
Wait, you just...
you passed our exit.

359
00:18:44,616 --> 00:18:46,318
We're going to pick up
another passenger.

360
00:18:46,351 --> 00:18:47,787
Dude, this is already
taking forever.

361
00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:48,788
Are you serious?

362
00:18:48,821 --> 00:18:50,056
Well, I'm sorry.

363
00:18:50,089 --> 00:18:51,623
You requested SpreeSocial.

364
00:18:51,657 --> 00:18:55,962
I have a female waiting for me,
you incel.

365
00:18:55,995 --> 00:18:59,899
Well, there is a female
waiting for me to pick her up.

366
00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:01,701
And her name is Jessie.

367
00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:03,368
Okay?
This is SpreeSocial.

368
00:19:03,401 --> 00:19:05,370
This is what you signed up for.

369
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:06,706
You gonna drive around

370
00:19:06,739 --> 00:19:07,840
this fucking parking lot
for five minutes?

371
00:19:07,874 --> 00:19:09,041
Where is she?

372
00:19:09,075 --> 00:19:10,509
Got her.

373
00:19:10,542 --> 00:19:13,846
Oh, shit. Okay.
Here we fucking go.

374
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,048
Jessie. Jessie.

375
00:19:17,016 --> 00:19:18,517
Hey, Jessie.

376
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:20,653
- Yeah?
- I'm your Spree driver, Kurt.

377
00:19:20,686 --> 00:19:22,554
- Yo, what up, girl?
- No, thanks.

378
00:19:22,587 --> 00:19:23,890
What?

379
00:19:23,923 --> 00:19:25,490
Fuck.
Dude, don't be such a bitch.

380
00:19:25,524 --> 00:19:27,325
Get her in here.

381
00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:28,527
Go.
She's getting away.

382
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:29,729
- Go, go, go.
- Okay.

383
00:19:29,762 --> 00:19:30,595
Careful, careful, careful.

384
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:35,868
Jessie, Jessie.

385
00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:37,569
Hey.
Hey, listen

386
00:19:37,602 --> 00:19:39,604
- I'm a five-star-rated driver.
- I already canceled.

387
00:19:39,639 --> 00:19:41,406
Listen, I can see where
you're going on the map,

388
00:19:41,439 --> 00:19:42,775
and it's just
right around the bend.

389
00:19:42,809 --> 00:19:45,577
Just get in the car.
This ride could be on me.

390
00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:47,379
But I canceled,
so is that gonna, like...

391
00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:48,815
Oh, that's okay.
I don't mind.

392
00:19:48,848 --> 00:19:50,716
I don't do this just for money.

393
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,084
Uh, okay.

394
00:19:52,118 --> 00:19:53,920
Yeah.
It's okay. Get in.

395
00:19:54,854 --> 00:19:56,321
Hey.

396
00:19:59,725 --> 00:20:01,426
Knocked my camera off.

397
00:20:01,459 --> 00:20:03,129
Hope you guys like music.

398
00:20:03,162 --> 00:20:04,831
Oh, my God.

399
00:20:04,864 --> 00:20:06,999
- Oh.
- You a fan of music?

400
00:20:13,806 --> 00:20:16,042
What body part did you just hit?

401
00:20:16,075 --> 00:20:19,045
- What?
- What... What...

402
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:22,480
Dude, can you turn off
the shitty music?

403
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:26,384
Fully, fully off.

404
00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:28,020
Oh, yeah, totally.

405
00:20:28,054 --> 00:20:30,857
But you were just telling me
how much you like it, though.

406
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,992
Yeah, no, I wasn't.
Um...

407
00:20:33,025 --> 00:20:34,894
So, Jessie, I already
told him this,

408
00:20:34,927 --> 00:20:38,130
but I got these cameras in here
set up for everyone's safety.

409
00:20:38,164 --> 00:20:39,832
Full disclosure, FYI,

410
00:20:39,866 --> 00:20:43,135
I'm totally
and completely transparent.

411
00:20:43,169 --> 00:20:46,072
Yeah, watch out for him.
He's a fucking psycho.

412
00:20:46,105 --> 00:20:47,940
But like I was saying,
my name is Mario,

413
00:20:47,974 --> 00:20:51,576
and, uh, you must be Jessie.

414
00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:53,511
He has ears.

415
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:55,848
And eyes.
And... And three legs.

416
00:20:55,882 --> 00:20:58,583
Wouldn't be surprised
if you had rabies, too.

417
00:20:58,617 --> 00:21:00,920
Wait, hold up, hold up.
I know you.

418
00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:02,655
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do.

419
00:21:02,688 --> 00:21:05,590
Hey, "Mar-io" or "Mare-io"
or whatever your name is,

420
00:21:05,624 --> 00:21:07,693
just grab a water and chill out.

421
00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,161
Shut the fuck up.
Yo, she's a comedian.

422
00:21:09,195 --> 00:21:10,830
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

423
00:21:10,863 --> 00:21:13,933
No, you do the, uh,
"Hey, everybody look at me."

424
00:21:13,966 --> 00:21:15,735
It's, "All eyes on me."

425
00:21:15,768 --> 00:21:17,203
I fucking knew it.

426
00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:20,206
Yeah, yeah, you're like,
"All eyes on me.

427
00:21:20,239 --> 00:21:23,042
All eyes on me.
I said all eyes on"...

428
00:21:23,075 --> 00:21:24,143
- I fucking knew it.
- Wait, wait, wait.

429
00:21:24,176 --> 00:21:25,811
Hold on.
You're famous?

430
00:21:25,845 --> 00:21:27,213
No, I'm not famous.

431
00:21:27,246 --> 00:21:28,848
If I was, I wouldn't be
taking SpreeSocial.

432
00:21:28,881 --> 00:21:30,515
No, dude, she's got
a mega following.

433
00:21:30,548 --> 00:21:31,984
- She's legit, man.
- Wait, wait a second.

434
00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:33,920
- You have a huge following?
- Yeah, dude.

435
00:21:33,953 --> 00:21:36,022
That's amazing.
How did you grow your audience?

436
00:21:36,055 --> 00:21:39,524
Um... I'm, like, funny.

437
00:21:39,557 --> 00:21:41,593
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

438
00:21:41,627 --> 00:21:43,229
I mean,
having a big following...

439
00:21:43,262 --> 00:21:46,999
I can... I mean, yeah, all
those notifications coming in.

440
00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:49,068
I mean, I get it.
I do, too.

441
00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:51,569
So, Jessie, it's super nice
to meet you.

442
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,806
Follow for follow, and if you
post anything on my Spree,

443
00:21:53,839 --> 00:21:54,974
just make sure to tag me.

444
00:21:55,007 --> 00:21:56,742
I'm KurtsWorld96.

445
00:21:56,776 --> 00:21:58,177
Sir, are you a Twitter bot,

446
00:21:58,210 --> 00:21:59,812
or is there a real live
human boy in there?

447
00:21:59,845 --> 00:22:01,479
Do not touch me.

448
00:22:01,513 --> 00:22:03,916
I'm as real as you.
I don't...

449
00:22:05,751 --> 00:22:07,653
Yo, yo, I got to say,
you were...

450
00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:09,722
you were one of the better
sets that night.

451
00:22:09,755 --> 00:22:12,590
- Just very pro, I thought.
- Wow, thank you.

452
00:22:12,624 --> 00:22:14,060
- Thank you so much.
- Don't... Don't be...

453
00:22:14,093 --> 00:22:15,795
Glad you think I'm pro,

454
00:22:15,828 --> 00:22:18,698
even though I was doing
a professional gig.

455
00:22:18,731 --> 00:22:20,933
Okay.
Yo, yo, what up?

456
00:22:20,967 --> 00:22:23,568
It's your boy Mario,
and we out here.

457
00:22:23,601 --> 00:22:25,271
Guess who.

458
00:22:25,304 --> 00:22:27,940
Hot chick comedian Jessie Adams
in the house.

459
00:22:27,974 --> 00:22:29,909
Stop! Do not point
that phone in my face.

460
00:22:29,942 --> 00:22:31,077
- What is wrong with you?
- Yeah, point it at me,

461
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:32,610
your driver, Kurt's World.

462
00:22:32,645 --> 00:22:33,746
- Kurt's World. Follow me.
- You shut the fuck up.

463
00:22:33,779 --> 00:22:35,147
- KurtsWorld96.
- You come on.

464
00:22:35,181 --> 00:22:36,983
Give me a little smile.

465
00:22:37,016 --> 00:22:39,752
Oh, my God, are all the tanning
oils getting to your head?

466
00:22:39,785 --> 00:22:42,021
I thought all you frat boys
didn't like black people?

467
00:22:42,054 --> 00:22:44,657
What the...
Why would you say that?

468
00:22:44,690 --> 00:22:46,624
That's not fucking true.
Now I can't even post this.

469
00:22:46,659 --> 00:22:47,927
Oh, no.

470
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,962
Squirt's World,
just let me out here.

471
00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:51,630
No, come on, let me just do this
one more time, please.

472
00:22:51,664 --> 00:22:53,733
What? Are you serious?
You are pissing me off.

473
00:22:53,766 --> 00:22:55,801
Honestly, man, I'm about ready
to drop you off

474
00:22:55,835 --> 00:22:57,169
on the side of the road, okay?

475
00:22:57,203 --> 00:22:58,938
You're pissing off Jessie Adams.

476
00:22:58,971 --> 00:23:01,874
Just grab a water and get ready
to call another Spree.

477
00:23:01,907 --> 00:23:03,676
On the side
of the fucking highway?

478
00:23:03,709 --> 00:23:04,844
Are you nuts?

479
00:23:04,877 --> 00:23:06,611
No, no, I'm not.
And you know what?

480
00:23:06,645 --> 00:23:09,949
You just got yourself
a one-star rating, bitch.

481
00:23:09,982 --> 00:23:12,952
And you, you should really use
that beautiful smile

482
00:23:12,985 --> 00:23:14,253
a little bit more often.

483
00:23:14,286 --> 00:23:16,822
- Oh, wow. Okay, alright.
- Yeah.

484
00:23:16,856 --> 00:23:19,158
Hey, guys, I'm stuck
in a SpreeSocial

485
00:23:19,191 --> 00:23:20,793
with this defective clown.

486
00:23:20,826 --> 00:23:23,162
He's been nagging me
and asking me to smile.

487
00:23:23,195 --> 00:23:26,564
If you see him on the street,
just cross to the other side.

488
00:23:26,598 --> 00:23:28,934
Or just push him in traffic.
That'd be better for everybody.

489
00:23:28,968 --> 00:23:30,736
- He goes by the name of Mario.
- Hey, everyone, what's going on?

490
00:23:30,770 --> 00:23:32,171
KurtsWorld96 here.

491
00:23:32,204 --> 00:23:33,839
Follow me for "The Lesson."
Link's in the bio.

492
00:23:33,873 --> 00:23:36,175
- And I always follow back.
- Oh, my God.

493
00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:37,810
Why do I keep
doing this to myself?

494
00:23:37,843 --> 00:23:40,612
I'm in a fucking SpreeSocial
to save 3 bucks?

495
00:23:40,646 --> 00:23:43,548
For this headache?
This ever happen to you guys?

496
00:23:44,717 --> 00:23:47,787
I'm just saying that you
becoming Insta famous

497
00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:50,588
has really gone to your head,
'cause you're a total bitch.

498
00:23:50,622 --> 00:23:51,724
Oh.

499
00:23:51,757 --> 00:23:53,192
- Out.
- Me?

500
00:23:53,225 --> 00:23:55,795
She's the one being
all fucking mean and shit.

501
00:23:55,828 --> 00:23:57,595
No, fuck this.
I'm getting out.

502
00:23:57,630 --> 00:23:58,764
No, no, no, wait.
Are you sure?

503
00:23:58,798 --> 00:24:00,232
Fuck you.

504
00:24:00,266 --> 00:24:02,635
And you just, like,
reel it in a little bit.

505
00:24:02,668 --> 00:24:04,136
No one says "Follow for follow"
out loud.

506
00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:06,105
Wait, no, you...
you can't take that.

507
00:24:06,138 --> 00:24:07,973
- Why? 'Cause the ride was free?
- No, you just...

508
00:24:08,007 --> 00:24:09,742
- You cannot take that.
- Seriously?

509
00:24:11,644 --> 00:24:14,080
Hey, maybe don't be
such a bitch next time.

510
00:24:14,113 --> 00:24:16,048
Oh, how's this
for being a bitch?

511
00:24:21,053 --> 00:24:23,155
Just drive, faggot.

512
00:24:28,661 --> 00:24:30,029
You know what?

513
00:24:30,062 --> 00:24:34,867
The only way to fix this
is with some pussy.

514
00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:43,242
Yo, where the fuck
are we going right now?

515
00:24:43,275 --> 00:24:44,844
It's a shortcut.

516
00:24:44,877 --> 00:24:47,012
This is not a fucking shortcut.
Are you serious?

517
00:24:47,046 --> 00:24:48,380
Yeah, it is a shortcut.

518
00:24:48,414 --> 00:24:50,149
I know this park like
the back of my hand.

519
00:24:50,182 --> 00:24:51,350
Got to be kidding me.

520
00:24:51,383 --> 00:24:53,285
<i>Cross to the other side.</i>

521
00:24:53,319 --> 00:24:55,788
<i>Or just push him in traffic.
That'd be better for everybody.</i>

522
00:24:55,821 --> 00:24:56,989
<i>He goes by the name of Mario.</i>

523
00:24:57,022 --> 00:24:58,757
Oh, fuck, I...

524
00:24:58,791 --> 00:25:00,292
I don't feel so good.

525
00:25:00,326 --> 00:25:02,895
You don't... You don't...
Do you need me to pull over?

526
00:25:02,928 --> 00:25:04,930
Oh, yo, she's got
like 200K followers.

527
00:25:04,964 --> 00:25:06,966
I'm getting all this hate
already.

528
00:25:06,999 --> 00:25:08,267
Don't vomit in my car.

529
00:25:08,300 --> 00:25:10,136
Oh, God! Fuck.

530
00:25:10,169 --> 00:25:13,272
This fucking...
Got to be kidding me.

531
00:25:14,006 --> 00:25:16,108
What the fuck, man?
Keep going.

532
00:25:16,142 --> 00:25:18,844
No, if you're gonna barf,
get out of my car.

533
00:25:18,878 --> 00:25:22,081
I have some dumb bitch
waiting for me.

534
00:25:22,114 --> 00:25:25,184
And I need to go fuck her
right fucking now!

535
00:25:25,217 --> 00:25:28,053
I need to keep my car clean!

536
00:25:28,087 --> 00:25:31,690
So if you're gonna hurl,
get outside and do it. Go.

537
00:25:31,724 --> 00:25:34,793
Alright, you know what?
I got to take a piss anyway.

538
00:25:34,827 --> 00:25:36,295
That's the only reason
I'm doing this right now.

539
00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:38,097
You fucking beta.

540
00:25:38,130 --> 00:25:39,899
Zero stars for you.

541
00:26:09,962 --> 00:26:11,430
Wow, are you guys seeing this?

542
00:26:19,772 --> 00:26:20,940
Fun.

543
00:26:40,159 --> 00:26:43,095
<i>Okay, look, I know this
face mask looks this way</i>

544
00:26:43,128 --> 00:26:44,296
<i>because it's a charcoal mask.</i>

545
00:26:44,330 --> 00:26:45,965
<i>I know that.</i>

546
00:26:45,998 --> 00:26:48,133
<i>But doesn't it feel like maybe,
just maybe,</i>

547
00:26:48,167 --> 00:26:50,769
<i>this was created so people
could try out blackface</i>

548
00:26:50,803 --> 00:26:52,871
<i>for 10 to 15 minutes at a time?</i>

549
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:55,541
<i>Look at this white lady.
Look at how happy she is.</i>

550
00:26:55,574 --> 00:26:58,978
<i>She knows she's getting away
with something.</i>

551
00:26:59,011 --> 00:27:00,546
<i>I'm just saying.</i>

552
00:27:00,579 --> 00:27:02,147
Shit.

553
00:27:02,181 --> 00:27:04,016
Wait.

554
00:27:05,584 --> 00:27:07,019
Let there be light.

555
00:27:07,052 --> 00:27:09,021
You think I would
let "The Lesson"

556
00:27:09,054 --> 00:27:10,556
continue in the dark?

557
00:27:10,589 --> 00:27:12,524
Check that.

558
00:27:12,558 --> 00:27:14,126
Perfect.

559
00:27:14,159 --> 00:27:15,928
She's got good content.

560
00:27:15,961 --> 00:27:18,297
<i>She needs me.</i>

561
00:27:18,330 --> 00:27:20,566
<i>Like, if a woman's
not smiling all the time</i>

562
00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:23,202
<i>or looking happy all the time,
she looks like a bitch?</i>

563
00:27:23,235 --> 00:27:25,938
<i>No, bitch, that was me.</i>

564
00:27:25,971 --> 00:27:29,208
<i>Damn, girl, your carpet
looking ratchet.</i>

565
00:27:29,241 --> 00:27:30,576
<i>Bew-bew-bew!</i>

566
00:27:30,609 --> 00:27:32,811
<i>I been scammed, bruh.</i>

567
00:27:37,516 --> 00:27:39,551
<i>I looked at my phone.
I looked back up.</i>

568
00:27:39,585 --> 00:27:41,820
<i>His dick was out.</i>

569
00:27:41,854 --> 00:27:43,155
<i>Learned my lesson.</i>

570
00:27:43,188 --> 00:27:45,958
<i>I don't tell anyone the time
anymore.</i>

571
00:27:45,991 --> 00:27:47,593
<i>That's my active bitch face.</i>

572
00:27:47,627 --> 00:27:49,128
<i>What time is it?</i>

573
00:27:49,161 --> 00:27:50,162
<i>Time for you
to go fuck yourself.</i>

574
00:27:50,195 --> 00:27:51,263
<i>That's what time it is.</i>

575
00:27:51,297 --> 00:27:53,098
<i>Alright, thank you very much.</i>

576
00:27:53,132 --> 00:27:54,533
Hmm.

577
00:27:54,566 --> 00:27:57,169
Doing a show tonight.

578
00:27:57,202 --> 00:27:58,537
Joke Bros.

579
00:27:58,570 --> 00:28:01,206
Big presence.
Joke Bros are huge.

580
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:02,574
Too bad I can't go.

581
00:28:02,608 --> 00:28:04,576
It's funny how the stars
will align like that.

582
00:28:04,610 --> 00:28:07,446
Me and Jessie, two big things...

583
00:28:07,479 --> 00:28:10,316
two big things happening
on the... on the same night.

584
00:28:12,418 --> 00:28:14,453
It's universal coincidence.

585
00:28:22,528 --> 00:28:25,364
Never miss an opportunity
for branding.

586
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:29,435
Are you with me on this, Bobby?

587
00:28:29,468 --> 00:28:31,638
I mean, I knew
this was going to work.

588
00:28:31,671 --> 00:28:33,405
I knew it.

589
00:28:33,439 --> 00:28:36,275
Uh, what does that mean?

590
00:28:36,308 --> 00:28:39,211
<i>Dude, I'm literally, like,
the only one watching.</i>

591
00:28:39,244 --> 00:28:41,413
Yeah, Bobby, that's because
everybody knows

592
00:28:41,447 --> 00:28:42,614
we're taking a break right now.

593
00:28:42,649 --> 00:28:44,616
I'm tipping off my tank.

594
00:28:44,651 --> 00:28:47,920
And they were...
It was double digits before.

595
00:28:55,394 --> 00:28:58,931
<i>Less than 10
equals single digits.</i>

596
00:29:03,001 --> 00:29:04,903
How is this even possible?

597
00:29:04,937 --> 00:29:07,139
I'm literally out here
giving everything I've got.

598
00:29:07,172 --> 00:29:11,043
I'm picking people up
and dropping them off.

599
00:29:11,076 --> 00:29:12,411
Dropping them off.

600
00:29:17,149 --> 00:29:20,986
<i>No one wants to watch a white
guy drive around and whatever.</i>

601
00:29:21,019 --> 00:29:22,054
Whatever?

602
00:29:23,288 --> 00:29:25,324
I...

603
00:29:25,357 --> 00:29:29,528
Dude, I'm literally out here,
like, live...

604
00:29:31,731 --> 00:29:33,232
...killing people.

605
00:29:37,670 --> 00:29:39,938
No, Bobby,
it's not stale content.

606
00:29:39,972 --> 00:29:41,674
It's authentic.
Alright, it's...

607
00:29:41,708 --> 00:29:45,210
It's like, um, homeless hero,
y-you know?

608
00:29:47,980 --> 00:29:50,015
<i>Watch it again LOL.</i>

609
00:29:55,688 --> 00:29:58,190
Now, you guys know
I usually prank the homeless.

610
00:29:58,223 --> 00:29:59,358
Homeless prank 17.

611
00:29:59,391 --> 00:30:01,226
Here we go, guys.
Check this out.

612
00:30:03,996 --> 00:30:05,330
It's not even real money, bro.

613
00:30:05,364 --> 00:30:07,332
But today we're doing
something different.

614
00:30:07,366 --> 00:30:08,668
Your boy had a little
change of heart,

615
00:30:08,701 --> 00:30:11,170
and I'm really glad that I did.

616
00:30:11,203 --> 00:30:13,740
I wanted to know what an
authentic homeless guy would do

617
00:30:13,773 --> 00:30:16,141
if he found a real $100 bill
on the street.

618
00:30:16,175 --> 00:30:18,745
So I set it up and secretly
followed him around.

619
00:30:18,778 --> 00:30:20,479
Let's go.

620
00:30:20,512 --> 00:30:24,183
Liquor store.
Pathetic.

621
00:30:24,216 --> 00:30:27,186
How many 40s can $100 get you?

622
00:30:29,555 --> 00:30:32,458
Now let's see where he's headed
with his big score.

623
00:30:37,496 --> 00:30:39,598
Oh, wait.
What's going on?

624
00:30:40,399 --> 00:30:43,001
Oh, my God, it looks like
he just gave them food

625
00:30:43,035 --> 00:30:44,603
and, like, supplies
for them to eat.

626
00:30:44,637 --> 00:30:49,041
Wow. Looks like this guy
really is a homeless hero.

627
00:30:49,074 --> 00:30:50,777
This guy went out
and made a huge difference

628
00:30:50,810 --> 00:30:53,145
for his community,
and you can, too.

629
00:30:53,178 --> 00:30:55,414
Drop a like and smash
that "subscribe" button.

630
00:30:55,447 --> 00:30:58,317
It makes a huge difference.

631
00:31:12,231 --> 00:31:14,233
Okay, okay, okay, Bobby.
Fine.

632
00:31:14,266 --> 00:31:17,069
You're right.
I promise to spice things up.

633
00:31:17,102 --> 00:31:19,238
But what about
your promise to me, Bobby, huh?

634
00:31:19,271 --> 00:31:20,740
What about your promise?

635
00:31:25,577 --> 00:31:28,046
You promised that you would
share "The Lesson" tonight.

636
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,216
I don't see... I haven't
seen anything from you.

637
00:31:31,250 --> 00:31:33,151
Not anything.

638
00:31:37,690 --> 00:31:40,660
It's not fucking evil.
It's awesome content.

639
00:31:47,266 --> 00:31:51,270
<i>Add some WTF moments or GTFO.</i>

640
00:31:51,303 --> 00:31:52,639
Okay.

641
00:31:55,675 --> 00:31:57,276
What the fuck?

642
00:31:57,309 --> 00:31:59,679
Stop! Stop!

643
00:31:59,712 --> 00:32:01,848
- Fuck you!
- What the fuck?

644
00:32:04,884 --> 00:32:06,719
I got it, I got it, I got it!

645
00:32:06,753 --> 00:32:08,620
I got it!
I've got it!

646
00:32:08,655 --> 00:32:10,790
- I've got it.
- What the fuck are you doing?

647
00:32:10,823 --> 00:32:13,425
Oh, my God, okay.
So boring.

648
00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:16,461
Oh, my gosh.
Check this out. Ohh.

649
00:32:16,495 --> 00:32:19,097
No one cares about your fucking
stupid lights, dude.

650
00:32:19,131 --> 00:32:20,165
You almost just killed us.

651
00:32:20,198 --> 00:32:21,868
No, I didn't.

652
00:32:21,901 --> 00:32:24,136
Come on, you guys,
this is what we said we wanted.

653
00:32:24,169 --> 00:32:26,338
- An adventure.
- No, London.

654
00:32:26,371 --> 00:32:28,373
Things that we can put
on the Gram, that's it.

655
00:32:28,407 --> 00:32:30,142
You know what?
Whatever.

656
00:32:30,175 --> 00:32:32,411
Next time why don't you guys
just buy a fucking Groupon

657
00:32:32,444 --> 00:32:34,346
and count me out, you pussies.

658
00:32:36,615 --> 00:32:38,350
She's mad.

659
00:32:40,586 --> 00:32:42,321
Is this okay?

660
00:32:42,354 --> 00:32:44,456
Yeah, yeah, sure.

661
00:32:45,490 --> 00:32:48,527
Don't listen to them, because
I think you're a badass.

662
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:49,896
Your lips are so pretty.

663
00:32:49,929 --> 00:32:52,598
- Thanks, babe.
- I need pretty lips.

664
00:32:53,766 --> 00:32:55,567
Hold on.
What the fuck is that?

665
00:32:56,301 --> 00:32:58,671
- Oh, what's this, Mr. Fix-it?
- No, no!

666
00:32:58,705 --> 00:33:02,441
No! No. No.

667
00:33:02,474 --> 00:33:05,611
- Don't touch his drill.
- Don't touch his drill.

668
00:33:05,645 --> 00:33:07,379
- It's cute, though.
- You know what?

669
00:33:07,412 --> 00:33:09,916
I think... I actually think
I know what you guys want.

670
00:33:09,949 --> 00:33:12,184
Get people to think you're
having, like, a big adventure,

671
00:33:12,217 --> 00:33:14,319
like, a total WTF moment,
am I right?

672
00:33:14,353 --> 00:33:15,354
Yeah.

673
00:33:15,387 --> 00:33:18,223
Well, honestly, I know this...

674
00:33:18,256 --> 00:33:20,258
I know this spot
that not a lot of people know.

675
00:33:20,292 --> 00:33:22,194
And it's a really
incredible view,

676
00:33:22,227 --> 00:33:24,897
and it'll be empty right now.

677
00:33:24,931 --> 00:33:27,566
- What if we go hit it up?
- Yeah, that sounds cool.

678
00:33:27,599 --> 00:33:28,835
Yeah? What do you guys
think about that?

679
00:33:28,868 --> 00:33:29,936
Would you guys want to go?

680
00:33:29,969 --> 00:33:31,370
Fucking incredible spot.

681
00:33:31,403 --> 00:33:32,471
Fuck it, sure.

682
00:33:32,504 --> 00:33:33,840
- Let's fest.
- Yeah.

683
00:33:55,527 --> 00:33:58,196
Alright, guys, get your phones
out, get up there.

684
00:33:58,230 --> 00:33:59,632
- Go for it.
- Up there?

685
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:02,567
Are you being serious?
Put our heads up there?

686
00:34:02,601 --> 00:34:03,836
Live a little.

687
00:34:04,771 --> 00:34:06,338
Okay, let's do it.

688
00:34:06,371 --> 00:34:07,840
Feel like prom.

689
00:34:07,874 --> 00:34:10,542
- Oh, we're prom queens.
- Get up there, guys.

690
00:34:10,575 --> 00:34:12,745
We're both prom queens.
Okay, stop yelling at us.

691
00:34:13,813 --> 00:34:17,282
Hey, guys, it's so random.

692
00:34:17,315 --> 00:34:18,918
I want to take a picture

693
00:34:18,951 --> 00:34:20,653
looking, like,
this super pretty,

694
00:34:20,687 --> 00:34:22,487
- against, like, the ugly stuff.
- Yes.

695
00:34:22,521 --> 00:34:24,456
Hey, you guys, make sure
to take some selfies,

696
00:34:24,489 --> 00:34:27,359
and if you do,
tag it #TheLesson, one word.

697
00:34:27,392 --> 00:34:29,361
Bless... #blessings.

698
00:34:29,394 --> 00:34:31,296
- No, #TheLesson.
- No, #TheLesson, one word.

699
00:34:31,329 --> 00:34:32,965
- #TheLesson.
- #TheLesson.

700
00:34:32,999 --> 00:34:35,635
- #TheLesson.
- Oh, my God, Kurt.

701
00:34:35,668 --> 00:34:37,602
This place is so funky.

702
00:34:37,637 --> 00:34:39,438
But so beautiful.

703
00:34:39,471 --> 00:34:40,840
Thanks, yeah.

704
00:34:40,873 --> 00:34:42,942
Yeah, my mom's dad
used to own this place.

705
00:34:42,975 --> 00:34:45,912
- So I practically grew up here.
- Really?

706
00:34:45,945 --> 00:34:48,580
Oh, my God, there's for sure
a dead body here.

707
00:34:48,613 --> 00:34:52,317
It smells like there's, like,
several dead bodies here.

708
00:34:52,350 --> 00:34:55,387
My mom actually found this here.
She gave it to me.

709
00:34:55,420 --> 00:34:58,523
That's so sweet.

710
00:34:58,557 --> 00:35:00,525
She must really love you.

711
00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:02,762
Yeah, she ditched my dad
right after that.

712
00:35:02,795 --> 00:35:04,429
She used to be
a major star fucker.

713
00:35:04,463 --> 00:35:06,999
Hmm.
That sucks, I guess.

714
00:35:07,033 --> 00:35:10,502
No, it's okay.
My dad's a fucking loser anyway.

715
00:35:10,535 --> 00:35:11,938
I kind of feel like
I'm having déjà vu.

716
00:35:11,971 --> 00:35:13,840
Did you know that means

717
00:35:13,873 --> 00:35:15,540
you're exactly
where you're supposed to be?

718
00:35:15,574 --> 00:35:19,779
It's 'cause I <i>am</i> exactly
where I'm supposed to be.

719
00:35:19,812 --> 00:35:20,947
Fuck.

720
00:35:30,555 --> 00:35:33,025
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Kurt! Guys!

721
00:35:35,393 --> 00:35:38,030
- Aah, London, what the fuck?
- Are you okay?

722
00:35:38,064 --> 00:35:41,067
Oh, my God, bitch,
this is amazing!

723
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:44,737
Driver,
you're getting five stars.

724
00:35:44,771 --> 00:35:46,973
Hey, roll your window down
and get your phone out.

725
00:35:47,006 --> 00:35:48,841
You're not gonna
want to miss this.

726
00:35:51,610 --> 00:35:53,512
Whoo!

727
00:35:53,545 --> 00:35:55,915
Wait, stop, stop.

728
00:35:55,948 --> 00:35:57,784
Fuck, fuck. Ow!

729
00:35:57,817 --> 00:35:58,785
Aah!

730
00:36:04,523 --> 00:36:06,659
Oh, my God, Kurt, be careful.

731
00:36:06,692 --> 00:36:08,326
Oh, sorry.
I'm just trying to give you guys

732
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:09,829
cool shit you can post.

733
00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:12,464
Oh, my God, look how many likes
I'm getting.

734
00:36:12,497 --> 00:36:14,533
Oh, show me.

735
00:36:14,566 --> 00:36:16,334
Aah! Ah!

736
00:36:16,368 --> 00:36:18,704
Oh, my God!
Roll the window up!

737
00:36:18,738 --> 00:36:20,840
Roll the window up.

738
00:36:20,873 --> 00:36:22,440
Roll up the window.

739
00:36:47,432 --> 00:36:48,835
What's up, dude?

740
00:36:48,868 --> 00:36:51,536
Yo, yo, did you
just fucking see that?

741
00:36:51,570 --> 00:36:53,005
See what?

742
00:36:53,039 --> 00:36:55,574
I just got, like,
the most epic fucking kill ever.

743
00:36:55,607 --> 00:36:57,643
It was a triple KO.
Bobby.

744
00:36:57,677 --> 00:36:59,145
Well, if a tree falls
in the forest

745
00:36:59,178 --> 00:37:00,980
and there's no one there
to see it,

746
00:37:01,013 --> 00:37:03,481
like, does it even
actually fall, dude? No.

747
00:37:03,515 --> 00:37:04,984
What the fuck is wrong
with everybody?

748
00:37:05,017 --> 00:37:06,384
This should be
going viral by now.

749
00:37:06,418 --> 00:37:07,485
I just got seven.

750
00:37:07,519 --> 00:37:08,788
Bobby I got seven
rideshare kills.

751
00:37:08,821 --> 00:37:10,656
Why... Why isn't this trending?

752
00:37:10,690 --> 00:37:12,758
'Cause you're not
fucking good at this.

753
00:37:12,792 --> 00:37:16,128
Wake up. Okay, some people
are born with influencer vibes.

754
00:37:16,162 --> 00:37:17,697
And some people are not.

755
00:37:17,730 --> 00:37:19,165
Okay, like that comedian girl

756
00:37:19,198 --> 00:37:21,067
who was in the back
of your Spree, Jessie Adams,

757
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:22,768
I checked out her shit,

758
00:37:22,802 --> 00:37:25,604
and she's got great energy
and an authentic brand.

759
00:37:25,638 --> 00:37:27,039
Why don't you take
a look at her story

760
00:37:27,073 --> 00:37:29,942
and see how it's done, retard?

761
00:37:29,976 --> 00:37:32,144
No 'roids here.

762
00:37:41,486 --> 00:37:45,024
Oh, my gosh,
it's a puppy parade.

763
00:37:45,057 --> 00:37:46,993
- Can I pet them?
- Yeah.

764
00:37:47,026 --> 00:37:49,561
Oh, my goodness.
This is how I want to die.

765
00:37:49,594 --> 00:37:51,898
Yes, yes, hi.

766
00:37:51,931 --> 00:37:55,701
Can I have one of these,
maybe two of these?

767
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:57,837
Oh, my God.

768
00:37:58,570 --> 00:38:00,106
The love of my life.

769
00:38:00,139 --> 00:38:02,474
He's been nagging me
and asking me to smile.

770
00:38:02,507 --> 00:38:05,845
If you see him on the street,
just cross to the other side.

771
00:38:05,878 --> 00:38:08,114
Or just push him in traffic.
That'd be better for everybody.

772
00:38:08,147 --> 00:38:09,949
- He goes by the name of Mario.
- Hey, everyone, what's going on?

773
00:38:09,982 --> 00:38:11,583
KurtsWorld96 here.

774
00:38:11,616 --> 00:38:13,019
Follow me for "The Lesson."
Link's in the bio.

775
00:38:13,052 --> 00:38:15,520
- And I always follow back.
- Oh, my God.

776
00:38:15,553 --> 00:38:18,791
It's in the past.
It's not gonna ruin my day.

777
00:38:18,824 --> 00:38:20,693
Silver linings playbook...

778
00:38:20,726 --> 00:38:22,962
Got to get your steps in
wherever you can.

779
00:38:22,995 --> 00:38:24,931
Everything happens for a reason.

780
00:38:27,099 --> 00:38:28,801
Okay, so you know
how I was saying

781
00:38:28,834 --> 00:38:31,203
tonight is gonna be
a very special night?

782
00:38:31,237 --> 00:38:33,973
Well, the Joke Bros
are coming to my show,

783
00:38:34,006 --> 00:38:35,241
and they're
live-streaming my set

784
00:38:35,274 --> 00:38:37,009
for their
midnight madness thing.

785
00:38:37,043 --> 00:38:39,745
Like a million people are gonna
be watching this tonight.

786
00:38:39,779 --> 00:38:41,579
She doesn't even
film her stories vertically.

787
00:38:41,613 --> 00:38:43,749
...for one of
my toughest critics.

788
00:38:43,783 --> 00:38:45,851
Do all of her fans
have neck problems?

789
00:38:45,885 --> 00:38:47,720
- You ready?
- She's going live.

790
00:38:50,022 --> 00:38:51,691
And this is vertical?

791
00:38:52,892 --> 00:38:54,126
That's totally inconsistent,

792
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:58,831
and consistency's
the first ground rule.

793
00:38:59,632 --> 00:39:02,600
Do you have any
brand identity at all?

794
00:39:02,635 --> 00:39:06,604
Makes me upset when
you're not being uniform.

795
00:39:06,639 --> 00:39:08,007
You fell asleep during my jokes.

796
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,575
Was you telling jokes?

797
00:39:10,608 --> 00:39:12,044
I don't think I would
have closed my eyes

798
00:39:12,078 --> 00:39:13,813
if I had heard jokes.

799
00:39:13,846 --> 00:39:15,648
Jessie Adams, if you're
listening, you disappoint me.

800
00:39:15,681 --> 00:39:18,851
If you think it's so easy,
then you say something funny.

801
00:39:18,884 --> 00:39:21,586
Something funny.

802
00:39:21,619 --> 00:39:24,589
Okay, now you all see
where I get it from.

803
00:39:24,622 --> 00:39:26,025
It's one of the oldest tricks
in the book.

804
00:39:26,058 --> 00:39:28,894
- But it still works.
- But it still works.

805
00:39:28,928 --> 00:39:30,629
Oh, my God,
like a broken record.

806
00:39:30,663 --> 00:39:32,564
This is not
very relatable to me.

807
00:39:32,597 --> 00:39:34,566
- 'Cause my grandma's dead.
- Uh-oh, Grandma.

808
00:39:34,599 --> 00:39:36,202
My fans think you're a snack.

809
00:39:36,235 --> 00:39:39,005
How would... How... How would
everyone relate to this?

810
00:39:41,307 --> 00:39:43,009
She's gonna get
a million views tonight.

811
00:39:43,042 --> 00:39:45,011
And I'm gonna get nothing?

812
00:39:45,044 --> 00:39:47,579
- The dog filter.
- No.

813
00:39:49,281 --> 00:39:51,017
I'm not letting that happen.

814
00:39:51,050 --> 00:39:52,985
I wish I could
hang out all night

815
00:39:53,019 --> 00:39:55,755
with this strong,
beautiful queen.

816
00:39:55,788 --> 00:39:57,622
But instead
I have to go hang out

817
00:39:57,656 --> 00:39:59,325
with you bozos
coming to my show.

818
00:39:59,358 --> 00:40:01,827
You promised me
an audience, Bobby.

819
00:40:01,861 --> 00:40:04,130
Don't be using me
as no ticket bait, either.

820
00:40:04,163 --> 00:40:06,699
- Damn, Gram.
- That should be my audience.

821
00:40:06,732 --> 00:40:08,067
And if I can't have it,
why can she have it?

822
00:40:08,100 --> 00:40:09,835
When you get to be my age

823
00:40:09,869 --> 00:40:13,039
and you just a few feet away
from the grim reaper,

824
00:40:13,072 --> 00:40:14,640
- you don't have no choice.
- Should be my audience.

825
00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:16,008
Please don't talk
about the grim reaper.

826
00:40:16,042 --> 00:40:17,343
You're gonna live forever.
Okay?

827
00:40:17,376 --> 00:40:18,944
I don't know
what I would do without you.

828
00:40:18,978 --> 00:40:21,280
Things have to be fair.

829
00:40:21,313 --> 00:40:24,917
Okay, now is the moment
you've all been waiting for.

830
00:40:24,950 --> 00:40:26,584
Things have to be fair, Jessie.

831
00:40:26,618 --> 00:40:27,753
Don't go anywhere.

832
00:40:27,787 --> 00:40:29,021
It's my house.

833
00:40:30,056 --> 00:40:31,623
Why would I go anywhere?

834
00:40:31,657 --> 00:40:33,359
JESSIE
Yeah, that's a good point.

835
00:40:33,392 --> 00:40:36,629
Oh, that's so sweet, Jonesy.
That means a lot to me.

836
00:40:36,662 --> 00:40:38,831
Yeah, let me know what you guys
think of the set tonight.

837
00:40:38,864 --> 00:40:40,733
It's gonna be a weird one.

838
00:40:40,766 --> 00:40:43,803
That phone's
making you act foolish.

839
00:40:43,836 --> 00:40:45,037
Thanks for ironing, Grandma.

840
00:40:45,071 --> 00:40:47,640
Hope you're watching this,
Bobby.

841
00:40:47,673 --> 00:40:49,375
What do you think
of these pants?

842
00:40:49,408 --> 00:40:51,609
Too Ronald McDonald?

843
00:40:51,644 --> 00:40:53,179
Honk, honk.

844
00:40:53,212 --> 00:40:55,681
Not trying to be
a clown tonight.

845
00:40:55,714 --> 00:40:57,850
Maybe this.

846
00:40:57,883 --> 00:41:01,720
I like this.
Maybe some "Kill Bill" yellow.

847
00:41:01,754 --> 00:41:04,123
Like a little bumblebee.

848
00:41:05,691 --> 00:41:07,626
Who the fuck is that?

849
00:41:12,131 --> 00:41:13,199
Grandma.

850
00:41:14,834 --> 00:41:16,836
Grandma, are you
expecting somebody?

851
00:41:16,869 --> 00:41:19,805
I told you
the reaper was close.

852
00:41:19,839 --> 00:41:21,173
Oh, my God.

853
00:41:21,207 --> 00:41:22,842
Who would come here
at this hour?

854
00:41:22,875 --> 00:41:24,743
I thought I was
your only friend.

855
00:41:28,047 --> 00:41:30,649
- Your chariot awaits.
- What are you doing here?

856
00:41:30,683 --> 00:41:31,884
I told you
I'd meet you at the show.

857
00:41:31,917 --> 00:41:33,119
Yeah, no, I saw your story.

858
00:41:33,152 --> 00:41:34,420
I figured you could
use some help.

859
00:41:34,453 --> 00:41:36,155
Like, I think we should talk.

860
00:41:36,188 --> 00:41:38,224
Are you streaming me
in your fucking shit right now?

861
00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:39,892
Sorry.
It's important.

862
00:41:39,925 --> 00:41:41,760
I knew I shouldn't have
told you where I moved.

863
00:41:41,794 --> 00:41:43,295
Dude, you need to go, okay?

864
00:41:43,329 --> 00:41:45,231
I don't want to be part
of your dumb evil shit, alright?

865
00:41:45,264 --> 00:41:46,765
No, you are part of it, okay?

866
00:41:46,799 --> 00:41:48,134
'Cause we're... we're...
we're collaborators.

867
00:41:48,167 --> 00:41:49,902
- We're big-time collaborators.
- No, no.

868
00:41:49,935 --> 00:41:51,170
For the record,
we're definitely not.

869
00:41:51,203 --> 00:41:53,205
- Alright, later, Kurt.
- No, no.

870
00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:54,406
No.

871
00:41:56,208 --> 00:41:57,376
Alright,
you asked for this, man.

872
00:41:59,011 --> 00:42:01,313
What is up, BaseCamp?
It's that time again.

873
00:42:01,347 --> 00:42:05,084
Bobby Court, where I am the
judge, jury, and executioner.

874
00:42:05,117 --> 00:42:07,753
Today I actually wanted to set
the record straight on something

875
00:42:07,786 --> 00:42:09,688
that's been bugging me
for a minute, y'all.

876
00:42:09,722 --> 00:42:11,157
See this motherfucker
right here?

877
00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:12,391
This guy's name is Kurt.

878
00:42:12,424 --> 00:42:14,226
And just because
he used to babysit me

879
00:42:14,260 --> 00:42:16,228
when I was, like, fucking 2,
he thinks I owe him something.

880
00:42:16,262 --> 00:42:17,963
I don't owe you shit dude, okay?

881
00:42:17,997 --> 00:42:20,733
Now Kurt's up to some super,
super-evil shit,

882
00:42:20,766 --> 00:42:22,168
and he's trying to pin it on me.

883
00:42:22,201 --> 00:42:23,836
You see, guys,
the thing about Kurt is,

884
00:42:23,869 --> 00:42:26,805
he really wants attention,
and he needs it, too.

885
00:42:26,839 --> 00:42:29,375
Fucking medical attention, dude.
You legally insane.

886
00:42:29,408 --> 00:42:31,210
That's my verdict.

887
00:42:31,243 --> 00:42:32,478
Dude, should I call you
an ambulance right now?

888
00:42:32,511 --> 00:42:34,013
Maybe they can
take you out of here.

889
00:42:34,046 --> 00:42:36,815
No. Honestly, Bobby,
I just wanted to...

890
00:42:36,849 --> 00:42:39,418
I wanted to... I wanted to tell
you that I had figured it out,

891
00:42:39,451 --> 00:42:41,086
something so important.

892
00:42:42,922 --> 00:42:45,257
Well, tell BaseCamp
something super important

893
00:42:45,291 --> 00:42:48,093
and then get out my fucking face
before I report your account.

894
00:42:48,127 --> 00:42:49,762
And quit fucking
filming me, dude.

895
00:42:49,795 --> 00:42:51,297
I don't want to be
on your fucking stream.

896
00:42:51,330 --> 00:42:53,199
You fuck... You asked for it.

897
00:42:53,232 --> 00:42:55,968
You... Okay.

898
00:42:56,001 --> 00:42:59,271
I fucking... I figured out the
last two steps of "The Lesson."

899
00:43:00,973 --> 00:43:03,142
Step one... hijack Jessie Adams'
comedy show.

900
00:43:03,175 --> 00:43:04,510
It's a shortcut
to a huge audience.

901
00:43:04,543 --> 00:43:05,945
A lot of people
are gonna be there.

902
00:43:05,978 --> 00:43:07,513
She's huge.
She has a huge following.

903
00:43:07,546 --> 00:43:10,115
Yeah, it's a really
good idea for you,

904
00:43:10,149 --> 00:43:13,519
being someone with no sense
of humor and no social skills.

905
00:43:13,552 --> 00:43:16,855
The face of an inbred dog.
What's step two, retard?

906
00:43:16,889 --> 00:43:18,891
Become the fucking president?

907
00:43:18,924 --> 00:43:20,426
What are you gonna do?

908
00:43:26,065 --> 00:43:27,299
What the fuck, dude?

909
00:43:27,333 --> 00:43:29,935
This shit isn't
supposed to be real.

910
00:43:37,276 --> 00:43:38,344
Bobby.

911
00:43:41,547 --> 00:43:43,949
- Wait.
- Get the fuck off me.

912
00:43:52,524 --> 00:43:55,227
What the fuck?
I'll kill you, motherfucker!

913
00:44:17,082 --> 00:44:18,784
<i>U got got.</i>

914
00:44:22,388 --> 00:44:24,923
Oh, my God, Miles,
stop trying to be Vin Diesel.

915
00:44:24,957 --> 00:44:27,026
You sound like a fucking hyena.

916
00:44:27,059 --> 00:44:28,827
"Thanks for the ride, Miles."

917
00:44:28,861 --> 00:44:30,396
I didn't ask for
the ride, Miles.

918
00:44:30,429 --> 00:44:32,965
You were stalking my grandma's
house for some reason.

919
00:44:32,998 --> 00:44:34,199
Fucking freak.

920
00:44:34,233 --> 00:44:36,268
Yeah, well,
I just didn't want you

921
00:44:36,302 --> 00:44:37,569
to be late for Joke Bros, okay?

922
00:44:37,603 --> 00:44:39,338
You don't have to
worry about me.

923
00:44:39,371 --> 00:44:41,407
- You're not my manager.
- I know I'm not your manager,

924
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:47,946
but someone needs to manage you,
and I guess I nominate myself.

925
00:44:47,980 --> 00:44:50,082
Okay, it's not
a nomination process.

926
00:44:50,115 --> 00:44:52,384
I'm just...
What I'm saying is, like,

927
00:44:52,418 --> 00:44:55,454
Jessie, you could be,
like, the next Chris Rock.

928
00:44:55,487 --> 00:44:57,122
You know what I mean?
You got that, like, classic

929
00:44:57,156 --> 00:44:59,892
black-comic thing
written all over you.

930
00:44:59,925 --> 00:45:02,995
- Chris Rock?
- Yes. "All eyes on me."

931
00:45:03,028 --> 00:45:05,064
I'm telling you,
next Chris Rock, for real.

932
00:45:05,097 --> 00:45:06,365
More like Chris Pebble.

933
00:45:07,667 --> 00:45:09,368
See, that's what I'm saying.

934
00:45:09,401 --> 00:45:10,502
That wasn't even funny.

935
00:45:10,536 --> 00:45:11,970
You're quick.

936
00:45:12,004 --> 00:45:14,306
Jessie, like, you know I know

937
00:45:14,340 --> 00:45:16,408
the Comedy Central scouts,
right?

938
00:45:16,442 --> 00:45:18,410
I can help you.

939
00:45:18,444 --> 00:45:20,446
I wa... I want to help you.

940
00:45:21,213 --> 00:45:24,149
I'm just... I'm just saying,
you're in the right place.

941
00:45:24,183 --> 00:45:27,186
It's happening, Jessie.
So, like, now's the time.

942
00:45:27,219 --> 00:45:30,055
I'm saying, like pull the trigger.

943
00:45:30,089 --> 00:45:31,557
Miles, shut the fuck up.

944
00:45:31,590 --> 00:45:33,525
- What?
- You talk too much.

945
00:45:33,559 --> 00:45:35,561
That's... That's what
they pay me to do.

946
00:45:35,594 --> 00:45:38,897
You know they do not pay you.

947
00:45:38,931 --> 00:45:40,966
Yeah.

948
00:45:40,999 --> 00:45:43,001
They be paying me.

949
00:45:52,411 --> 00:45:55,347
Alright, alright.

950
00:45:55,381 --> 00:45:57,684
You guys.

951
00:45:57,717 --> 00:45:59,551
You guys.

952
00:45:59,585 --> 00:46:02,388
Holy shit, holy shit.

953
00:46:02,421 --> 00:46:04,456
Triple digits, you guys.

954
00:46:04,490 --> 00:46:06,959
It's happening, you guys.

955
00:46:06,992 --> 00:46:08,560
You're following me, you guys.

956
00:46:08,594 --> 00:46:11,130
Yes, yes, you're watching me.

957
00:46:11,163 --> 00:46:13,966
Here I am.
Hello.

958
00:46:13,999 --> 00:46:17,569
Oh, see, that wasn't that hard.

959
00:46:17,603 --> 00:46:19,605
And honestly, guys, thank you.

960
00:46:19,639 --> 00:46:22,074
Thank you so much for watching,

961
00:46:22,107 --> 00:46:24,343
all you guys who have been
with me this entire time.

962
00:46:24,376 --> 00:46:26,345
And guess what.
You will not believe this.

963
00:46:26,378 --> 00:46:29,481
I just bought tickets...
up-my-ass prices...

964
00:46:29,515 --> 00:46:33,118
to the Jessie Adams
comedy show tonight.

965
00:46:33,152 --> 00:46:36,021
So stay tuned. You guys are not
gonna want to close out.

966
00:46:36,054 --> 00:46:37,489
Just keep it open all night.

967
00:46:37,523 --> 00:46:40,359
I promise you guys
will not regret it, okay?

968
00:46:40,392 --> 00:46:42,629
Hey, I'm feeling pretty jacked
right now.

969
00:46:42,662 --> 00:46:44,196
You guys want to, I don't know,

970
00:46:44,229 --> 00:46:46,932
check out my...
check out my boner?

971
00:46:52,304 --> 00:46:53,673
I'm just kidding.

972
00:46:53,706 --> 00:46:55,407
You guys will have to
stick around till the end

973
00:46:55,441 --> 00:46:57,109
for that piece.

974
00:46:57,142 --> 00:46:59,478
Hey, and also for all you
BaseCampers out there,

975
00:46:59,511 --> 00:47:02,347
if you guys are confused,
that's totally chill.

976
00:47:02,381 --> 00:47:06,385
Welcome to Kurt's World.
This is "The Lesson."

977
00:47:07,787 --> 00:47:09,689
Sick.

978
00:47:09,722 --> 00:47:14,293
Oh, oh, my God, guys.

979
00:47:15,762 --> 00:47:17,996
Bobby's swag cam.

980
00:47:19,766 --> 00:47:22,100
Do not tell me.
He...

981
00:47:22,134 --> 00:47:23,602
Oh.

982
00:47:23,636 --> 00:47:26,038
Oh, hell, yeah.

983
00:47:26,071 --> 00:47:28,073
Alright, BaseCampers,
all you guys out there,

984
00:47:28,106 --> 00:47:30,576
I know you must be
kind of confused and stuff.

985
00:47:30,609 --> 00:47:32,411
But do not worry.
Spread the word.

986
00:47:32,444 --> 00:47:38,183
Because this... this right here,
this is an official takeover.

987
00:47:38,217 --> 00:47:40,319
Alright, you guys,
I'm redirecting the feed

988
00:47:40,352 --> 00:47:42,321
to my channel.

989
00:47:42,354 --> 00:47:44,490
Oh, guys, what's up?

990
00:47:44,523 --> 00:47:47,526
Hey, guys, hey, guys.

991
00:47:47,559 --> 00:47:50,062
Honestly, guys, the thing that
I always wondered about is,

992
00:47:50,095 --> 00:47:52,765
like, if all these swags
are free for Bobby,

993
00:47:52,799 --> 00:47:55,400
then, like, how do they
know his size?

994
00:47:55,434 --> 00:47:57,169
Is it just me, or is it, like...

995
00:47:57,202 --> 00:47:58,671
It must be just
pure guessing game.

996
00:48:01,708 --> 00:48:03,442
Fucking dad's texting me.

997
00:48:03,475 --> 00:48:06,144
Fuck.

998
00:48:06,178 --> 00:48:08,280
Anyways, tonight's gonna be
crazy with, like, the gun

999
00:48:08,313 --> 00:48:10,817
and killing Jessie Adams,
and I might even wear this...

1000
00:48:10,850 --> 00:48:13,318
Fuck.

1001
00:48:14,219 --> 00:48:16,555
Dad is texting me again.

1002
00:48:19,859 --> 00:48:23,295
Okay, this deadbeat is trying
to fuck up "The Lesson."

1003
00:48:23,328 --> 00:48:24,831
Jessie Adams' show
is in like two hours,

1004
00:48:24,864 --> 00:48:26,565
and this douche is texting me

1005
00:48:26,598 --> 00:48:28,635
and he wants me to go
to this deejay show with him.

1006
00:48:28,668 --> 00:48:30,269
Pbht!

1007
00:48:30,302 --> 00:48:33,605
DJ... DJ uNo.

1008
00:48:37,844 --> 00:48:40,479
Wait, you guys know who this is?

1009
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:44,216
What, you guys like DJ uNo?

1010
00:48:44,249 --> 00:48:46,786
<i>Yeah dude. You stupid?</i>

1011
00:48:46,819 --> 00:48:50,088
<i>Take us to uNo
right fuckin now.</i>

1012
00:48:52,224 --> 00:48:53,425
It's open.

1013
00:48:53,458 --> 00:48:55,127
It was open.

1014
00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:56,495
Wasn't open.

1015
00:48:57,697 --> 00:48:58,731
Fucking late.

1016
00:49:00,399 --> 00:49:01,567
Hello, dude.

1017
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,770
Get in the car.
I'm in a hurry.

1018
00:49:03,803 --> 00:49:05,504
Plastic? Really?

1019
00:49:05,537 --> 00:49:06,673
Get in the car.

1020
00:49:06,706 --> 00:49:08,307
Such a rookie move.

1021
00:49:11,577 --> 00:49:13,111
Thanks for the ride.

1022
00:49:13,145 --> 00:49:15,547
You're really coming through
in the clutch.

1023
00:49:15,581 --> 00:49:18,483
Whoa, you're not gonna
let your dad

1024
00:49:18,517 --> 00:49:20,385
get his fucking
seat belt on, bro?

1025
00:49:20,419 --> 00:49:22,454
Sorry, we don't have time,
and I'm charging you.

1026
00:49:22,487 --> 00:49:24,590
Go on your Spree app
and request a ride.

1027
00:49:24,623 --> 00:49:27,225
- What?
- Do you think this is for free?

1028
00:49:27,259 --> 00:49:29,328
Seriously?

1029
00:49:29,361 --> 00:49:30,697
Can you imagine me charging you

1030
00:49:30,730 --> 00:49:33,231
for every meal
I fucking gave you?

1031
00:49:33,265 --> 00:49:34,901
I wonder what
that would account to.

1032
00:49:34,934 --> 00:49:36,501
One cheeseburger?

1033
00:49:36,535 --> 00:49:38,838
Because Mom pretty much
took care of everything.

1034
00:49:38,871 --> 00:49:40,840
Ohhh.

1035
00:49:40,873 --> 00:49:44,276
So you want to get into details
about me and your mother?

1036
00:49:44,309 --> 00:49:47,245
Because I got fucking details

1037
00:49:47,279 --> 00:49:49,782
we can get into
about me and your mother.

1038
00:49:52,952 --> 00:49:55,888
I like the fucking cameras
and the lights.

1039
00:49:56,823 --> 00:49:58,223
Action.

1040
00:49:59,524 --> 00:50:01,493
Do they change color?

1041
00:50:01,526 --> 00:50:02,561
No.

1042
00:50:02,594 --> 00:50:03,863
Well, they should.

1043
00:50:03,896 --> 00:50:05,330
Red light.

1044
00:50:05,364 --> 00:50:07,332
What the fuck?

1045
00:50:07,366 --> 00:50:09,802
What the fuck is that?

1046
00:50:09,836 --> 00:50:11,536
Dumbass.

1047
00:50:14,874 --> 00:50:15,908
Fuck this.

1048
00:50:15,942 --> 00:50:18,711
Hey, hey, hey, what the fuck?

1049
00:50:18,745 --> 00:50:20,212
What the fuck was that?

1050
00:50:20,245 --> 00:50:23,181
The BPAs, bro, they're not good.

1051
00:50:23,215 --> 00:50:26,551
The BPA from the plastic
seeps into the water.

1052
00:50:26,585 --> 00:50:29,756
You're gonna get fucking
estrogen in your testes.

1053
00:50:29,789 --> 00:50:33,626
I'm getting a lot of anti-BPA
activism on my networks.

1054
00:50:33,660 --> 00:50:35,594
- On your networks?
- Yeah, on my networks.

1055
00:50:35,628 --> 00:50:36,663
Oh.

1056
00:50:38,330 --> 00:50:40,499
Where's that mixtape
we made of those beats?

1057
00:50:40,532 --> 00:50:41,566
I don't know.

1058
00:50:42,300 --> 00:50:44,503
What the fuck is this?!

1059
00:50:44,536 --> 00:50:45,738
It's a fucking gun.

1060
00:50:46,505 --> 00:50:49,474
Kurt, Kurt,
I told you about guns,

1061
00:50:49,508 --> 00:50:52,210
- me and guns, all my stories.
- I know.

1062
00:50:52,244 --> 00:50:54,981
I thought we were on the same
page about gun control, Kurt.

1063
00:50:55,014 --> 00:50:56,683
Listen, I have a gun, alright.

1064
00:50:56,716 --> 00:50:59,719
- I'm smart, unlike you, okay?
- That's crazy.

1065
00:50:59,752 --> 00:51:00,953
No, it's not crazy.

1066
00:51:00,987 --> 00:51:02,587
You're gonna fuckin'
kill yourself.

1067
00:51:02,621 --> 00:51:04,556
No, you don't know
what this job's like.

1068
00:51:04,589 --> 00:51:06,324
- Put that fucking gun away.
- You don't know... No.

1069
00:51:06,358 --> 00:51:08,995
You don't know what type
of thug or gangbanger

1070
00:51:09,028 --> 00:51:10,362
is gonna get
in the back of my car.

1071
00:51:10,395 --> 00:51:11,698
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, Kurt.

1072
00:51:11,731 --> 00:51:14,399
There's a police officer.
Put away your gun.

1073
00:51:14,433 --> 00:51:16,002
Put it down.
Put it down. Put it down.

1074
00:51:16,035 --> 00:51:17,737
It's my fucking gun.
I use it for safety.

1075
00:51:17,770 --> 00:51:18,805
Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, the...

1076
00:51:20,372 --> 00:51:22,008
The police officer.
Oh, my God.

1077
00:51:25,377 --> 00:51:26,779
Ah.

1078
00:51:30,382 --> 00:51:31,851
Why do you have a gun?

1079
00:51:31,884 --> 00:51:33,552
What the fuck?

1080
00:51:33,585 --> 00:51:35,420
Another red light.
And a fucking gun.

1081
00:51:35,454 --> 00:51:38,825
Why are you fiending through
my shit anyway, you junkie?

1082
00:51:38,858 --> 00:51:40,793
Kurt, amigo.

1083
00:51:40,827 --> 00:51:44,229
Are you trying to downgrade
my confidence before my set?

1084
00:51:45,297 --> 00:51:48,400
Well, yeah, I found
your baggies today.

1085
00:51:48,433 --> 00:51:50,302
Wait, what?

1086
00:51:50,335 --> 00:51:52,905
Yeah, I was helping Mom
move some shit for the house.

1087
00:51:52,939 --> 00:51:55,041
And behind a dresser,
shoved in the wall,

1088
00:51:55,074 --> 00:51:56,508
there were your baggies.

1089
00:51:56,541 --> 00:51:57,877
Yeah, you must have been
so fucking high

1090
00:51:57,910 --> 00:51:59,544
that you put them there
and then you just,

1091
00:51:59,578 --> 00:52:01,413
I don't know,
must have forgotten.

1092
00:52:03,716 --> 00:52:05,584
Classic.

1093
00:52:05,617 --> 00:52:07,720
Come on, Kurt.
Can we just have some fun?

1094
00:52:07,754 --> 00:52:09,588
Some real fucking fun.

1095
00:52:09,621 --> 00:52:14,426
Not, like,
an unboxing tutorial video fun.

1096
00:52:14,459 --> 00:52:16,495
Real fun.

1097
00:52:16,528 --> 00:52:18,998
If you don't rock out with
your fucking cock out tonight,

1098
00:52:19,031 --> 00:52:22,769
uNo is never gonna
tag you on her socials, alright?

1099
00:52:22,802 --> 00:52:27,807
You better get
a personality pronto, dude.

1100
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,477
'Cause right now,
Kurt's World is fucking wack.

1101
00:52:33,112 --> 00:52:36,949
Yo, we're at Club Dirt,
calm before the storm.

1102
00:52:36,983 --> 00:52:38,751
Tell all your friends
get down here.

1103
00:52:38,785 --> 00:52:41,020
We got bottle service.

1104
00:52:41,053 --> 00:52:43,823
We got Winston
and Bernardo in the house.

1105
00:52:44,891 --> 00:52:46,092
Yeah.

1106
00:52:46,125 --> 00:52:48,795
Here he is.
Here's my boy.

1107
00:52:48,828 --> 00:52:50,696
What do you think?
It's nice, huh?

1108
00:52:50,730 --> 00:52:53,633
Uh, breaking news, Dad.
This is a strip club.

1109
00:52:53,666 --> 00:52:55,835
This is not a dance club.

1110
00:52:55,868 --> 00:52:57,770
Well, you know,
they gave me a residency.

1111
00:52:57,804 --> 00:53:01,107
Every other Friday, so I'm not
gonna look a gift in the mouth.

1112
00:53:01,140 --> 00:53:03,075
I don't care, Dad.
How about I'm clear?

1113
00:53:03,109 --> 00:53:05,678
This place feels sad to me.

1114
00:53:05,711 --> 00:53:08,547
Oh, yeah, all the empty poles.

1115
00:53:08,580 --> 00:53:11,050
- That's not what I mean.
- It is sad.

1116
00:53:11,083 --> 00:53:13,953
But it costs more
to get girls here.

1117
00:53:13,986 --> 00:53:15,520
It's gonna be fun.
Come on, bro.

1118
00:53:15,554 --> 00:53:16,789
St-Stop.
Where's uNo?

1119
00:53:20,092 --> 00:53:22,594
- Just be fucking cool.
- Brittany.

1120
00:53:22,628 --> 00:53:24,362
That is my hat.

1121
00:53:27,532 --> 00:53:29,367
You can't...
I don't think you...

1122
00:53:29,401 --> 00:53:32,437
Hey, uNo.
Hi.

1123
00:53:32,470 --> 00:53:33,538
Okay.

1124
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:43,749
"Follow me."

1125
00:53:43,783 --> 00:53:45,517
Her necklace says "Follow me."

1126
00:53:46,085 --> 00:53:47,552
Hey, uNo.

1127
00:53:47,586 --> 00:53:48,821
Thank you so much.

1128
00:53:48,855 --> 00:53:50,589
You know, Kris.
Remember?

1129
00:53:50,622 --> 00:53:52,557
This is my son, Kurt.
He's a big fan of yours.

1130
00:53:52,591 --> 00:53:53,793
What's up?
I'm a musician, too.

1131
00:53:53,826 --> 00:53:55,094
And I just also want
to say to you,

1132
00:53:55,127 --> 00:53:57,562
congratulations
on all your followers.

1133
00:53:57,596 --> 00:54:00,900
He'd love it if you
tagged him on your social.

1134
00:54:00,933 --> 00:54:02,702
- He's...
- Oh, no, no offense,

1135
00:54:02,735 --> 00:54:05,771
but I cannot do that on
the same night as a deejay set.

1136
00:54:05,805 --> 00:54:06,906
Oh, okay.

1137
00:54:06,939 --> 00:54:08,607
Sorry, bro. We tried.

1138
00:54:08,641 --> 00:54:10,810
- It was nice, though.
- Hey, listen, uNo.

1139
00:54:10,843 --> 00:54:14,579
Uh, influencer to influencer,
and I know it's a huge ask,

1140
00:54:14,613 --> 00:54:16,514
but if you could just, like,
pop me onto your story,

1141
00:54:16,548 --> 00:54:18,784
I got a huge audience
watching right now.

1142
00:54:18,818 --> 00:54:21,854
And everybody loves you,
and it would just be huge.

1143
00:54:21,888 --> 00:54:23,723
- You are live right now?
- I'm live.

1144
00:54:23,756 --> 00:54:25,624
I actually have a brand
that could go viral,

1145
00:54:25,658 --> 00:54:27,592
and you would really
push me over the edge.

1146
00:54:27,627 --> 00:54:28,928
- What do you think?
- Okay.

1147
00:54:28,961 --> 00:54:30,830
Yeah? You don't...
You don't mind?

1148
00:54:30,863 --> 00:54:32,597
What's your name?

1149
00:54:32,632 --> 00:54:35,067
It's KurtsWorld96.

1150
00:54:35,101 --> 00:54:38,570
Okay?
Say hi to everyone.

1151
00:54:38,603 --> 00:54:40,605
Hi.

1152
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:41,774
- Sick.
- Dope, dope.

1153
00:54:41,807 --> 00:54:43,876
Okay, 90...

1154
00:54:43,910 --> 00:54:46,712
96.
K-U-R-T-S-W-O-R-L-D.

1155
00:54:46,746 --> 00:54:48,580
- Got it, got it, got it.
- Okay.

1156
00:54:48,613 --> 00:54:49,581
- Got it.
- Yeah.

1157
00:54:49,614 --> 00:54:51,117
<i>Kurt got got.</i>

1158
00:54:51,150 --> 00:54:53,618
And just to let you know, uNo,
I still haven't gotten...

1159
00:54:53,653 --> 00:54:56,554
Hey, why is the Club Dirt
so empty?

1160
00:54:56,588 --> 00:54:58,724
The promoter's
not working hard enough?

1161
00:54:58,758 --> 00:55:00,558
Oh, no, no, no, no.

1162
00:55:00,592 --> 00:55:02,995
They'll start coming in
about halfway through my set.

1163
00:55:03,029 --> 00:55:05,665
They just...
They come out late sometimes.

1164
00:55:05,698 --> 00:55:07,066
- You know.
- Yeah.

1165
00:55:07,099 --> 00:55:09,235
But there'll be
plenty of people for you.

1166
00:55:09,268 --> 00:55:12,038
And I still haven't gotten
that notification quite yet.

1167
00:55:12,071 --> 00:55:14,640
So when that goes through,
though, I will let you know.

1168
00:55:14,674 --> 00:55:16,876
It's alright.
You tried, bro.

1169
00:55:19,779 --> 00:55:22,248
<i>She ain't gonna tag u bro.
She lyin. LUL.</i>

1170
00:55:22,281 --> 00:55:23,883
How do you like Los Angeles?

1171
00:55:23,916 --> 00:55:25,685
Yeah, it's good.

1172
00:55:25,718 --> 00:55:27,653
Do you know where is taco truck?

1173
00:55:27,687 --> 00:55:29,755
Honestly, you guys?

1174
00:55:29,789 --> 00:55:32,590
You guys fucking suck,
and I predicted this.

1175
00:55:32,624 --> 00:55:35,261
- Oh, come on, Kurt. Sorry
- Have a good night, honestly.

1176
00:55:35,294 --> 00:55:38,130
You guys don't know how much...
important this day is to me.

1177
00:55:38,164 --> 00:55:39,899
I don't know what to say, guys.

1178
00:55:39,932 --> 00:55:42,001
Bobby cam is canceled
because it was not lucky to me.

1179
00:55:42,034 --> 00:55:45,871
And honestly,
you guys led me astray.

1180
00:55:45,905 --> 00:55:48,207
Let's just move on.
I'm not angry at anybody.

1181
00:55:48,240 --> 00:55:49,275
I don't have to harbor a...

1182
00:55:52,878 --> 00:55:54,847
uNo?

1183
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,083
Oh, do you know
where something is?

1184
00:55:57,116 --> 00:55:58,985
Uh, do I know
where something is?

1185
00:55:59,018 --> 00:56:01,287
Oh, you know
Los Angeles taco truck?

1186
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,189
There... There's a lot of
taco trucks in Los Angeles.

1187
00:56:03,222 --> 00:56:06,892
Okay, take me
to L.A. taco truck.

1188
00:56:06,926 --> 00:56:08,861
- And I will tag you, really.
- What time...

1189
00:56:08,894 --> 00:56:10,796
I'm kind of in a hurry?
What time is it?

1190
00:56:10,830 --> 00:56:12,530
I don't know.

1191
00:56:12,564 --> 00:56:14,734
- I mean, what do you...
- Okay, I'm in a hurry, too.

1192
00:56:14,767 --> 00:56:17,569
Need to take pictures
at L.A. taco truck.

1193
00:56:24,777 --> 00:56:27,079
- Okay, are we good?
- No.

1194
00:56:31,050 --> 00:56:33,019
Okay.

1195
00:56:34,020 --> 00:56:35,988
Alright, cool.

1196
00:56:36,022 --> 00:56:38,024
Great.
Okay, want to get some food?

1197
00:56:38,057 --> 00:56:40,192
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1198
00:56:40,826 --> 00:56:43,929
Well, hey, what are you doing?

1199
00:56:46,198 --> 00:56:47,867
You don't want to come?

1200
00:56:47,900 --> 00:56:50,803
I don't want to wait line.
You go.

1201
00:56:50,836 --> 00:56:52,805
Me? Okay.

1202
00:56:52,838 --> 00:56:54,206
What do you want?

1203
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:56,574
Just, like, a...
like, a carne asada burrito?

1204
00:56:56,608 --> 00:56:59,011
Get me most famous.

1205
00:56:59,879 --> 00:57:01,714
What does that mean?
Like, nachos or...

1206
00:57:01,747 --> 00:57:03,015
Get me most famous.

1207
00:57:03,049 --> 00:57:04,316
Okay, then you're gonna
tag me, right?

1208
00:57:04,350 --> 00:57:06,052
You're gonna tag me after that?

1209
00:57:06,085 --> 00:57:08,654
- Yes, I already make a promise.
- Okay, I know.

1210
00:57:08,687 --> 00:57:10,956
I'm just checking because
you can't always count...

1211
00:57:10,990 --> 00:57:12,324
I told...

1212
00:57:19,765 --> 00:57:22,001
Hey, I'm... I'm sorry.
Hey, do you know...

1213
00:57:22,034 --> 00:57:24,970
do you know what, like...
what's the thing to get?

1214
00:57:25,004 --> 00:57:26,639
I'm not sure.
It's my first time.

1215
00:57:26,672 --> 00:57:28,841
Okay, yeah.
Me too, me too.

1216
00:57:28,874 --> 00:57:30,676
Yeah. It's... Yeah, I heard...

1217
00:57:30,709 --> 00:57:34,713
But I've heard the carne asada
fries frigging slap.

1218
00:57:36,348 --> 00:57:39,318
You want...
Say something.

1219
00:57:40,186 --> 00:57:43,889
You got a lot of people looking
at the back of your head.

1220
00:57:45,658 --> 00:57:48,327
Hey, everyone,
my name's Daisy, and I'm 23.

1221
00:57:48,360 --> 00:57:50,930
Whoa. I'm 23.
That's crazy.

1222
00:57:50,963 --> 00:57:53,265
That's, like...
That's, like, fate, right.

1223
00:57:53,299 --> 00:57:55,334
- So you're a streamer?
- Bull's-eye, yeah.

1224
00:57:55,367 --> 00:57:57,703
I'm actually...
I'm here with a deejay.

1225
00:57:57,736 --> 00:58:00,106
A Korean...
Yeah, she's a Korean deejay.

1226
00:58:00,139 --> 00:58:01,373
- Where?
- She's in the car.

1227
00:58:01,407 --> 00:58:02,775
She just keeps it
on the down-low.

1228
00:58:02,808 --> 00:58:04,043
She's famous.

1229
00:58:04,076 --> 00:58:06,278
She actually got famous
from a sex tape.

1230
00:58:06,312 --> 00:58:08,647
But, yeah, it's like...
it's like I have experience.

1231
00:58:08,681 --> 00:58:11,717
Like, I've... Like, I've done
some, like, sex tapes myself.

1232
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:13,385
And it's like when
I put them out there,

1233
00:58:13,419 --> 00:58:14,920
I always feel like
I have a real, like,

1234
00:58:14,954 --> 00:58:16,388
huge boom in my numbers.

1235
00:58:16,422 --> 00:58:18,390
It's like I could, like,
make a sex tape at any time.

1236
00:58:18,424 --> 00:58:21,026
I could feel like
I'm making a sex tape tonight.

1237
00:58:22,928 --> 00:58:24,330
You get what I'm saying?

1238
00:58:24,363 --> 00:58:25,998
I'm just gonna go.

1239
00:58:26,031 --> 00:58:27,433
Okay, yeah, that's cool.

1240
00:58:27,466 --> 00:58:30,669
Hi.
One carne asada burrito, please.

1241
00:58:30,703 --> 00:58:32,104
- $4.25.
- Also, like, if...

1242
00:58:32,138 --> 00:58:33,839
if you want to hang
at the Jessie Adams show,

1243
00:58:33,873 --> 00:58:37,943
like, you... you know...
you know who's gonna be there.

1244
00:58:37,977 --> 00:58:40,379
- You... You are?
- Yeah.

1245
00:58:40,412 --> 00:58:42,848
<i>Fuck Daisy right now!</i>

1246
00:58:42,882 --> 00:58:44,049
Kurt's World.

1247
00:58:44,083 --> 00:58:45,684
Thank you.
<i>Muchas gracias.</i>

1248
00:58:45,718 --> 00:58:47,319
- Alright.
- Think about it.

1249
00:58:47,353 --> 00:58:48,888
- Have fun at the show.
- Yeah, see you later.

1250
00:58:48,921 --> 00:58:51,257
Okay, bye-bye.
Kurt's World.

1251
00:58:51,290 --> 00:58:54,760
Hey, four tacos with each meat.

1252
00:58:54,793 --> 00:58:57,129
And then the carne asada fries,
please.

1253
00:58:57,163 --> 00:58:58,931
- Ahh!
- How many fries?

1254
00:58:58,964 --> 00:59:00,199
Just one.
Thank you.

1255
00:59:01,867 --> 00:59:03,469
Ahh.

1256
00:59:03,502 --> 00:59:05,437
I'm gonna drink some of this.

1257
00:59:12,778 --> 00:59:16,081
<i>You're the worst streamer
of all time.</i>

1258
00:59:17,783 --> 00:59:19,385
Alright, get... get in the...

1259
00:59:43,209 --> 00:59:45,244
Fuck's this guy doing?

1260
00:59:45,277 --> 00:59:47,346
Friday nights.
You got to love them.

1261
00:59:47,379 --> 00:59:49,848
Hi. What's up guys?

1262
00:59:49,882 --> 00:59:51,350
It's... It's Kurt.

1263
00:59:52,885 --> 00:59:55,154
Welcome to Kurt's World.

1264
00:59:55,187 --> 00:59:58,424
- Want to check it out?
- Yeah.

1265
00:59:58,457 --> 01:00:00,826
uNo asked me to do a takeover.

1266
01:00:00,859 --> 01:00:02,194
So that's what's up.

1267
01:00:09,335 --> 01:00:11,870
- Hey, can I help you, Officer?
- Yeah, everything alright today?

1268
01:00:11,904 --> 01:00:14,540
- Uh, we've seen better nights.
- Mm-hmm.

1269
01:00:14,573 --> 01:00:16,442
My girlfriend, she had
a little bit too much to drink.

1270
01:00:16,475 --> 01:00:19,044
I pulled over.
It's not a big deal.

1271
01:00:19,078 --> 01:00:20,879
She's okay, you know.

1272
01:00:20,913 --> 01:00:23,115
I'm just giving her some food,
sober her up, get her home.

1273
01:00:23,148 --> 01:00:25,017
License
and registration, please.

1274
01:00:25,050 --> 01:00:26,819
Of course. Uh...

1275
01:00:30,022 --> 01:00:32,758
- She's just sleeping.
- Mm-hmm.

1276
01:00:33,559 --> 01:00:35,027
You a Spree driver?

1277
01:00:35,060 --> 01:00:37,029
Uh, yeah, yeah.

1278
01:00:37,062 --> 01:00:39,465
Uh, yeah, not...
not tonight, though.

1279
01:00:39,498 --> 01:00:42,401
No, no, I'm just hanging...
just hanging with my girl, yeah.

1280
01:00:42,434 --> 01:00:44,503
But you have driven today?

1281
01:00:45,537 --> 01:00:48,140
No, I-I don't...
I don't work on weekends.

1282
01:00:48,173 --> 01:00:51,410
Friday's
a weekday, last I checked.

1283
01:00:51,443 --> 01:00:54,179
Alright, Kurt, can I have you
step out the car slowly

1284
01:00:54,213 --> 01:00:55,981
and show us both
your hands, please?

1285
01:00:56,015 --> 01:00:58,450
- Is that necessary?
- Yes, sir, it is.

1286
01:00:58,484 --> 01:01:00,319
Kurt, please step
out the car, please.

1287
01:01:02,187 --> 01:01:05,057
Okay, that's not good, buddy.

1288
01:01:05,090 --> 01:01:06,992
I just close it?

1289
01:01:07,026 --> 01:01:08,494
Yeah, go ahead.

1290
01:01:08,527 --> 01:01:10,462
Just go ahead and stand
in front of the car.

1291
01:01:10,496 --> 01:01:12,298
- Sorry.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.

1292
01:01:12,331 --> 01:01:14,133
We're gonna do
a standard sobriety test here.

1293
01:01:14,166 --> 01:01:16,435
So I'm gonna need you
to stand with your feet together

1294
01:01:16,468 --> 01:01:18,237
and your arms to your side
like this, please.

1295
01:01:18,270 --> 01:01:20,973
And when we start, I'm gonna
ask you to lift your right foot,

1296
01:01:21,006 --> 01:01:22,474
point your toe,
and count like this.

1297
01:01:22,508 --> 01:01:24,209
One, one thousand,
two, one thousand,

1298
01:01:24,243 --> 01:01:25,878
three, one thousand,
four, one thousand.

1299
01:01:25,911 --> 01:01:28,414
- Alright?
- Let's go, buddy.

1300
01:01:28,447 --> 01:01:30,582
One, one thousand,
two, one thousand,

1301
01:01:30,616 --> 01:01:32,251
three, one thousand,

1302
01:01:32,284 --> 01:01:34,420
four... four, one thousand,
five, one thousand.

1303
01:01:34,453 --> 01:01:36,255
Should we make him
touch his nose?

1304
01:01:36,288 --> 01:01:37,356
- Jake, shut up.
- Seven, one thousand,

1305
01:01:37,389 --> 01:01:38,590
eight, one thousand.

1306
01:01:38,624 --> 01:01:40,993
Hey, your girlfriend's
pretty hot.

1307
01:01:41,026 --> 01:01:43,062
Eleven, one thousand.

1308
01:01:43,095 --> 01:01:45,431
- She's awake now.
- What the fu...

1309
01:01:46,666 --> 01:01:48,934
Jesus fucking Christ.

1310
01:01:53,972 --> 01:01:57,009
Officer down.
I need backup.

1311
01:02:01,113 --> 01:02:02,514
Thank you, God.

1312
01:02:07,654 --> 01:02:11,290
<i>Any units in the vicinity
of 105 westbound at Inglewood.</i>

1313
01:02:18,397 --> 01:02:20,265
Oh, fuck.

1314
01:02:26,171 --> 01:02:27,906
Whoa.

1315
01:02:27,940 --> 01:02:29,508
Whoa.

1316
01:02:34,647 --> 01:02:36,515
- What is he doing?
- Tell me you got that.

1317
01:02:36,548 --> 01:02:38,283
- I got that. I got that.
- Did you get that?

1318
01:02:38,317 --> 01:02:40,586
If you guys had told me
that this is what "The Lesson"

1319
01:02:40,619 --> 01:02:42,221
would be like before,
I would have n...

1320
01:02:42,254 --> 01:02:44,089
I could have never
believed that.

1321
01:02:44,123 --> 01:02:46,191
This is crazy.

1322
01:02:59,004 --> 01:03:01,173
- Oh, my God.
- Whoa.

1323
01:03:02,508 --> 01:03:04,510
I got to lose these cops.

1324
01:03:19,759 --> 01:03:22,729
Do... Are you seeing
all these homeless people?

1325
01:03:22,762 --> 01:03:23,962
It's pathetic.

1326
01:03:26,031 --> 01:03:28,534
Zero social-media presence.

1327
01:03:28,567 --> 01:03:30,602
They don't even care
that the whole world

1328
01:03:30,637 --> 01:03:32,538
doesn't even know
that they exist.

1329
01:03:32,571 --> 01:03:34,373
If I ran over their tent
and killed them all,

1330
01:03:34,406 --> 01:03:36,141
no one would even care
right now.

1331
01:03:37,309 --> 01:03:38,544
Yes.

1332
01:03:38,577 --> 01:03:40,112
Cops can't stop me.

1333
01:03:40,145 --> 01:03:41,480
Dad can't stop me.

1334
01:03:41,513 --> 01:03:42,715
Mom can't stop me.

1335
01:03:42,749 --> 01:03:44,082
Bobby can't stop me.

1336
01:03:44,116 --> 01:03:46,051
The homeless can't stop me.

1337
01:03:46,084 --> 01:03:47,352
What's up?

1338
01:03:47,386 --> 01:03:50,155
Guys, I'm starting
to feel unstoppable.

1339
01:04:03,469 --> 01:04:06,338
Pumpkin emoji, pumpkin emoji,
pumpkin emoji.

1340
01:04:06,371 --> 01:04:07,740
Birthday hat emoji.

1341
01:04:07,774 --> 01:04:09,541
I just think...
I think it's all fucking...

1342
01:04:09,575 --> 01:04:12,244
I this it's like... I think
parents are doing it on purpose.

1343
01:04:12,277 --> 01:04:13,612
You have to call them.

1344
01:04:13,646 --> 01:04:15,447
You have to call them
to figure it out.

1345
01:04:15,481 --> 01:04:17,650
That's what they're... It's like
all they want is a phone call.

1346
01:04:17,684 --> 01:04:20,720
So they send you these weird-ass
coded text messages.

1347
01:04:20,753 --> 01:04:24,022
It's like, "You're getting
the phone call, Mom."

1348
01:04:28,661 --> 01:04:31,396
Fucking porn is crazy.

1349
01:04:31,430 --> 01:04:33,465
You know, I always
think about, like,

1350
01:04:33,499 --> 01:04:36,769
who are these people who are,
like, commenting on porn?

1351
01:04:36,803 --> 01:04:38,638
Do you know what I mean?

1352
01:04:38,671 --> 01:04:41,306
Like, they've got to, like,
fucking, like, sign up

1353
01:04:41,340 --> 01:04:43,609
to be like, "Who's she?

1354
01:04:43,643 --> 01:04:46,378
Where is this place?
I like this apartment."

1355
01:04:46,411 --> 01:04:50,650
I think it's bad that I fucking
beat off to this shit so much.

1356
01:04:50,683 --> 01:04:54,419
But I don't have a profile.
It's just porn.

1357
01:04:56,588 --> 01:04:58,023
Where's Jessie?

1358
01:04:59,324 --> 01:05:01,728
Alright, well, I guess
that's enough about me.

1359
01:05:01,761 --> 01:05:03,630
All eyes on me!

1360
01:05:03,663 --> 01:05:07,634
What do you say we bring up our
final performer of the night?

1361
01:05:10,569 --> 01:05:12,204
You know her.

1362
01:05:12,237 --> 01:05:14,807
Her holiness of hashtags.

1363
01:05:14,841 --> 01:05:18,110
The reaper of reposts.

1364
01:05:18,143 --> 01:05:20,579
The queen of all social media.

1365
01:05:20,612 --> 01:05:23,515
She's the reason you guys
bought your tickets

1366
01:05:23,549 --> 01:05:25,584
three weeks in advance,
I'm sure.

1367
01:05:25,617 --> 01:05:29,154
Please welcome the amazing,

1368
01:05:29,187 --> 01:05:33,660
the sexy, the hilarious
Jessie fucking Adams.

1369
01:05:33,693 --> 01:05:34,761
Give it up.

1370
01:05:41,634 --> 01:05:43,670
Hello, everyone.

1371
01:05:45,203 --> 01:05:48,240
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, Miles.

1372
01:05:48,273 --> 01:05:50,108
Wow, what you lack
in personality

1373
01:05:50,142 --> 01:05:51,744
you really make up for in puns.

1374
01:05:53,178 --> 01:05:55,715
Give it up for white guys, huh?

1375
01:05:55,748 --> 01:05:58,150
Yeah.

1376
01:05:58,183 --> 01:05:59,518
Can't live with them,

1377
01:05:59,551 --> 01:06:02,588
and, well, there they are
all over the place.

1378
01:06:02,621 --> 01:06:05,792
I'm so glad you think I'm
hilarious <i>and</i> sexy, Miles.

1379
01:06:05,825 --> 01:06:08,293
Thank you. That means a lot
coming from a guy

1380
01:06:08,327 --> 01:06:11,430
whose ideal woman
is a hentai body pillow.

1381
01:06:13,198 --> 01:06:16,268
Let's redirect back to me.
This is my show.

1382
01:06:16,301 --> 01:06:19,471
And I am the real Jessie Adams.

1383
01:06:21,506 --> 01:06:25,177
We got the Joke Bros
in the house from Chicago.

1384
01:06:25,210 --> 01:06:27,179
Hell, yeah.

1385
01:06:28,213 --> 01:06:32,217
Yeah, we're going out live to
a million neck beards right now.

1386
01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:35,722
Wow, such a big show,
so many eyeballs.

1387
01:06:35,755 --> 01:06:37,824
I should probably
play it safe, right?

1388
01:06:37,857 --> 01:06:39,324
- No.
- No?

1389
01:06:39,358 --> 01:06:41,360
You don't want me
to play it safe?

1390
01:06:41,393 --> 01:06:45,364
I mean, why would I?
I am the real Jessie Adams.

1391
01:06:46,264 --> 01:06:48,868
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

1392
01:06:48,901 --> 01:06:51,570
All eyes on me.
I want to be seen.

1393
01:06:51,603 --> 01:06:53,840
All eyes on me
I want to be seen.

1394
01:06:53,873 --> 01:06:56,843
I said, all eyes on me
I want to be seen.

1395
01:06:56,876 --> 01:06:58,878
All eyes on me
I want to be seen.

1396
01:06:58,911 --> 01:07:01,748
Great. Get your phones
out like we do every time.

1397
01:07:01,781 --> 01:07:03,650
This is our favorite part,
right?

1398
01:07:03,683 --> 01:07:07,419
You trying to see me?
You trying to see me?

1399
01:07:08,286 --> 01:07:10,522
You got me in focus?

1400
01:07:10,555 --> 01:07:12,557
You got me in that good light?

1401
01:07:12,591 --> 01:07:13,693
I got you.

1402
01:07:13,726 --> 01:07:14,961
Do I look good?

1403
01:07:14,994 --> 01:07:17,229
Thank you, baby.

1404
01:07:17,262 --> 01:07:18,931
So if you follow me
on social media,

1405
01:07:18,965 --> 01:07:21,466
you probably know I had to
put some skeezy bozo

1406
01:07:21,500 --> 01:07:23,903
in his place
during a Spree ride today.

1407
01:07:23,936 --> 01:07:25,270
He was the one who was all like,

1408
01:07:25,303 --> 01:07:26,939
"Come on, girl,
give me a smile."

1409
01:07:26,973 --> 01:07:30,375
Ugh. I mean, that's not breaking
news to any woman in this room.

1410
01:07:30,409 --> 01:07:31,778
We go through that every day.

1411
01:07:31,811 --> 01:07:34,212
- Fuck that guy.
- Right? Fuck that guy.

1412
01:07:34,246 --> 01:07:36,916
He was a date-rape drug
in a person.

1413
01:07:38,617 --> 01:07:42,621
And I was angry at this guy,
but then I got sad.

1414
01:07:42,655 --> 01:07:45,958
Because of the driver,
the Spree driver.

1415
01:07:45,992 --> 01:07:49,662
He was all like, "How'd you get
such a big following?

1416
01:07:49,696 --> 01:07:52,330
We should share tips."

1417
01:07:52,364 --> 01:07:54,466
And then he was kind of, like,
soft begging,

1418
01:07:54,499 --> 01:07:57,469
like, "Oh, please, Lord,
tag me."

1419
01:07:57,502 --> 01:08:01,440
And it was so sad and pathetic.

1420
01:08:01,473 --> 01:08:05,510
And it was just like me.

1421
01:08:05,544 --> 01:08:08,748
I went to my granny's house
after, my... my safe place,

1422
01:08:08,781 --> 01:08:10,717
like, my pre-show sanctuary.

1423
01:08:10,750 --> 01:08:13,518
And I could not shake that ride.
Like, I was so pissed.

1424
01:08:13,552 --> 01:08:14,921
And I was thinking
about that guy

1425
01:08:14,954 --> 01:08:16,723
and that "please tag me" energy.

1426
01:08:16,756 --> 01:08:19,659
And I was like, "Ugh,
God, that was pure me."

1427
01:08:19,692 --> 01:08:22,795
Like, he was me.
I've done that shit before.

1428
01:08:22,829 --> 01:08:25,297
And then I just, like,
reckoned with myself.

1429
01:08:25,330 --> 01:08:27,767
For the last two years, I've
been saying, "All eyes on me."

1430
01:08:27,800 --> 01:08:31,804
Now I finally have what I want,
and I am creeped the fuck out.

1431
01:08:31,838 --> 01:08:33,639
I'm serious.

1432
01:08:33,673 --> 01:08:36,408
It's like whether you have
20 million followers

1433
01:08:36,441 --> 01:08:40,680
or 20 followers, we're all being
watched and judged and hated.

1434
01:08:40,713 --> 01:08:42,447
And you love it, you love it.

1435
01:08:42,481 --> 01:08:44,549
You need it.
You're all addicted to it.

1436
01:08:44,583 --> 01:08:45,918
And you're addicted
to other people.

1437
01:08:45,952 --> 01:08:47,519
You're not doing you.

1438
01:08:47,552 --> 01:08:49,621
You're doing somebody else
for somebody else.

1439
01:08:49,655 --> 01:08:51,991
How are we supposed to know
who we are as people

1440
01:08:52,024 --> 01:08:54,026
if we're just
hamming it up all the time?

1441
01:08:55,795 --> 01:08:58,698
Okay, I can read the energy.

1442
01:08:58,731 --> 01:09:01,734
It's very quiet in this room.
I can hear a long-held fart.

1443
01:09:02,702 --> 01:09:06,038
And I'm sure you're like,
"Jessie, why so serious?

1444
01:09:06,072 --> 01:09:07,506
Where are the jokes?"

1445
01:09:07,539 --> 01:09:09,307
We're living in it.

1446
01:09:09,341 --> 01:09:12,611
You, me, that Spree driver,
we're all punking ourselves.

1447
01:09:12,645 --> 01:09:14,579
And that's why
when I wake up tomorrow,

1448
01:09:14,613 --> 01:09:15,614
I'm going cold turkey.

1449
01:09:15,648 --> 01:09:17,382
No more social media for me.

1450
01:09:17,415 --> 01:09:18,951
Okay.

1451
01:09:18,985 --> 01:09:21,453
Those are the devils on my
shoulder trying to hold me down.

1452
01:09:21,486 --> 01:09:24,489
Do we have any angels
in the house?

1453
01:09:24,523 --> 01:09:27,325
Do I have any angels
in the house?

1454
01:09:27,359 --> 01:09:30,029
So you ready for your log-off?

1455
01:09:30,062 --> 01:09:33,565
- <i>#KurtMegaFail.</i>
- You want me to smash this shit?

1456
01:09:33,598 --> 01:09:35,534
You ready?
Are you ready for this?

1457
01:09:35,567 --> 01:09:38,603
Okay, all eyes on this, bitch!

1458
01:09:40,039 --> 01:09:41,506
Yeah!

1459
01:09:54,854 --> 01:09:57,824
Hell, yeah, Jessie.

1460
01:09:57,857 --> 01:10:00,559
That was crazy cool.
I got all that shit.

1461
01:10:00,592 --> 01:10:02,061
That was tight.

1462
01:10:02,094 --> 01:10:03,428
Miles, get out of my face.

1463
01:10:03,461 --> 01:10:04,462
Hey, come on.

1464
01:10:04,496 --> 01:10:06,598
This is a historical moment.

1465
01:10:06,632 --> 01:10:09,035
Jessie Adams off social media.
I got to document this.

1466
01:10:09,068 --> 01:10:11,003
Why don't you pay me on time?
That would be historic.

1467
01:10:11,037 --> 01:10:12,705
I hooked us up.
Joke Bros, baby.

1468
01:10:12,738 --> 01:10:14,573
- God.
- Joke Bros in here.

1469
01:10:14,606 --> 01:10:18,110
Miles Manderville.
Jessie motherfucking Adams.

1470
01:10:18,144 --> 01:10:19,679
- That...
- I got to get some air.

1471
01:10:19,712 --> 01:10:22,648
- Get the fuck out of my way.
- Okay. Jesus.

1472
01:10:22,682 --> 01:10:25,450
We're in this!
Fuck, yeah!

1473
01:10:52,945 --> 01:10:54,546
Are you Kurt?

1474
01:10:54,579 --> 01:10:56,115
I'm Kurt.
That's me.

1475
01:10:56,148 --> 01:10:57,549
Okay.

1476
01:10:58,450 --> 01:10:59,752
Yeah, that's me.

1477
01:10:59,785 --> 01:11:01,553
Don't you recognize my name?
Kurt Kunkle?

1478
01:11:01,586 --> 01:11:03,022
I just want to say
I've known Jessie

1479
01:11:03,055 --> 01:11:04,190
for, like, over five years,

1480
01:11:04,223 --> 01:11:05,658
and she has always
been killing it.

1481
01:11:05,691 --> 01:11:07,059
This is not a sur...
Come on.

1482
01:11:07,093 --> 01:11:08,961
You still fixated
on that 700 bucks?

1483
01:11:08,995 --> 01:11:10,462
- Come on, Jessie.
- Fixated?

1484
01:11:10,495 --> 01:11:11,998
You owe me 700 bucks.

1485
01:11:12,031 --> 01:11:13,666
- And put the fucking phone down.
- Do you have any idea

1486
01:11:13,699 --> 01:11:15,467
how many people
are watching this, Jessie?

1487
01:11:15,500 --> 01:11:16,669
I'm not gonna
lose this audience.

1488
01:11:16,702 --> 01:11:18,436
What's up, people?

1489
01:11:21,674 --> 01:11:23,843
<i>Do sumthin.</i>

1490
01:11:26,112 --> 01:11:28,580
You got a dash cam
and everything, huh?

1491
01:11:28,613 --> 01:11:31,616
Yes.
You can never be too safe.

1492
01:11:46,032 --> 01:11:47,833
Yeah, I got one, too.

1493
01:11:48,901 --> 01:11:50,836
Come on, we should be
fucking celebrating.

1494
01:11:50,870 --> 01:11:52,638
Celebrating what?

1495
01:11:52,672 --> 01:11:55,675
The... The fact that
your set is gonna go viral.

1496
01:11:55,708 --> 01:11:58,576
All the right people
saw that, Jessie.

1497
01:11:58,610 --> 01:12:00,112
You're made.
I would...

1498
01:12:00,146 --> 01:12:02,480
I would... I would kill
for that, Jessie.

1499
01:12:02,514 --> 01:12:05,151
Honestly, that was...
that was crazy.

1500
01:12:05,184 --> 01:12:08,154
- Let me buy you a drink.
- Fine.

1501
01:12:09,822 --> 01:12:11,724
Pretty fucking cool, right?

1502
01:12:11,757 --> 01:12:13,259
Okay, just so you know,

1503
01:12:13,292 --> 01:12:15,995
I'm not the crazy driver
driving around tonight.

1504
01:12:29,607 --> 01:12:30,943
I know.

1505
01:12:32,845 --> 01:12:34,680
Dang, Jessie, you're
getting a little drunk.

1506
01:12:34,714 --> 01:12:37,515
- Can I take you home?
- No. Just order me a Spree.

1507
01:12:37,549 --> 01:12:38,751
No doubt.

1508
01:12:38,784 --> 01:12:41,821
Uh, weird.
Spree's down.

1509
01:12:41,854 --> 01:12:44,123
You know I could just give you
a ride in my car, right?

1510
01:12:44,156 --> 01:12:46,258
Oh, my God, no.
You're too drunk to drive.

1511
01:12:46,292 --> 01:12:47,960
You're not killing me
in your death trap.

1512
01:12:47,994 --> 01:12:49,962
- It's not like that.
- Just order us a GoGo.

1513
01:12:49,996 --> 01:12:51,931
- Order us? Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1514
01:12:51,964 --> 01:12:53,699
We go... We going to...
We going to my place?

1515
01:12:53,733 --> 01:12:56,135
- Or what's happening here?
- No, go to my place.

1516
01:12:56,168 --> 01:12:58,004
Oh, damn, okay.

1517
01:12:58,037 --> 01:13:00,272
Uh, alright, yeah.

1518
01:13:00,306 --> 01:13:03,009
Get a GoGo for sure.

1519
01:13:03,042 --> 01:13:06,812
Sweet. Yeah, there's one...
there's one down the block.

1520
01:13:06,846 --> 01:13:08,014
What kind of car is it?

1521
01:13:08,047 --> 01:13:10,216
It's a white coupe.

1522
01:13:10,249 --> 01:13:11,984
Okay, cool.

1523
01:13:12,018 --> 01:13:14,186
Alright, cool.
Alright.

1524
01:13:14,220 --> 01:13:16,088
Give me... Give me one second.

1525
01:13:16,122 --> 01:13:18,824
I'm live-streaming all night,
by the way, folks.

1526
01:13:18,858 --> 01:13:20,626
- Alright.
- Okay.

1527
01:13:22,161 --> 01:13:24,330
- What's up, Miles?
- Nice one, Miles.

1528
01:13:24,363 --> 01:13:26,098
Hey, what's up?
Hey, yo, hey, Je...

1529
01:13:26,132 --> 01:13:27,733
Excuse me.
Hey, Jessie, wait up.

1530
01:13:28,801 --> 01:13:30,336
Jessie!

1531
01:13:30,369 --> 01:13:33,105
- Jessie, wait up!
- Drive, drive, drive.

1532
01:13:33,139 --> 01:13:35,808
Oh, sucks.

1533
01:13:35,841 --> 01:13:37,877
- Nice one, Miles.
- Fuck you.

1534
01:13:44,884 --> 01:13:46,719
Wait, what address
did he give you?

1535
01:13:46,752 --> 01:13:48,654
375 South Hobart.

1536
01:13:48,687 --> 01:13:50,756
- Okay, good.
- Good.

1537
01:13:56,695 --> 01:13:58,798
Hey.

1538
01:13:58,831 --> 01:13:59,899
Hey.

1539
01:14:01,767 --> 01:14:03,769
Hey.

1540
01:14:03,803 --> 01:14:05,971
What, man?
I'm about to pass out.

1541
01:14:07,106 --> 01:14:10,176
I liked your set tonight.
It was... It was inspirational.

1542
01:14:10,910 --> 01:14:12,078
- You saw it?
- Hell, yeah.

1543
01:14:12,111 --> 01:14:13,979
I was there.
It was awesome.

1544
01:14:14,013 --> 01:14:15,915
Jessie, I think
you're actually a genius.

1545
01:14:15,948 --> 01:14:17,683
Thanks, man.

1546
01:14:17,716 --> 01:14:19,718
I'm so glad you didn't take
that water bottle earlier.

1547
01:14:19,752 --> 01:14:20,953
That would have been...

1548
01:14:21,921 --> 01:14:23,222
What water?

1549
01:14:24,356 --> 01:14:27,159
The water from earlier.
Seat pouch.

1550
01:14:27,193 --> 01:14:28,794
Left side.

1551
01:14:30,930 --> 01:14:33,265
Wait Ku... Kurtis?

1552
01:14:34,900 --> 01:14:36,168
Try again.

1553
01:14:37,837 --> 01:14:39,105
- Kurtis?
- Kurt.

1554
01:14:39,138 --> 01:14:41,407
- Kurt.
- Kurt's World, remember?

1555
01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:43,342
- Squirt's World, yeah, yeah.
- Follow me.

1556
01:14:43,375 --> 01:14:45,177
KurtsWorld96.

1557
01:14:45,211 --> 01:14:46,679
Uh...

1558
01:14:47,913 --> 01:14:49,882
- Okay, this is really weird.
- Yeah.

1559
01:14:49,915 --> 01:14:52,084
Isn't this weird?
I know. It's amazing.

1560
01:14:52,118 --> 01:14:54,954
I just, like... I pick you up
today, and then I go online.

1561
01:14:54,987 --> 01:14:57,823
I buy a ticket to support you,
and it's like,

1562
01:14:57,857 --> 01:14:59,325
what are the odds?

1563
01:15:00,759 --> 01:15:04,263
I mean, uh, okay.

1564
01:15:04,296 --> 01:15:06,165
- Thanks for your support.
- Totally.

1565
01:15:06,198 --> 01:15:07,967
Uh...

1566
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:09,268
Did you like the set?

1567
01:15:09,301 --> 01:15:11,303
I didn't mean to rag on you
that hard.

1568
01:15:11,337 --> 01:15:12,938
- Rag on me?
- Yeah.

1569
01:15:12,972 --> 01:15:14,406
Sticks and stones, Jessie Adams.

1570
01:15:14,440 --> 01:15:16,375
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm fine. I liked it.

1571
01:15:16,408 --> 01:15:17,843
I liked all what you did.

1572
01:15:17,877 --> 01:15:20,146
Because when you were
talking up there,

1573
01:15:20,179 --> 01:15:23,182
I realized inside me,
it was like this activator.

1574
01:15:23,215 --> 01:15:26,152
And it, like...
Whoa, all of a sudden,

1575
01:15:26,185 --> 01:15:28,721
the things that you were saying,
I realized they were in my head,

1576
01:15:28,754 --> 01:15:30,456
but I just had not
thought them yet.

1577
01:15:30,489 --> 01:15:33,125
- Okay, yeah.
- And that to me...

1578
01:15:33,159 --> 01:15:35,227
That to me...
That's not gonna work.

1579
01:15:35,261 --> 01:15:36,428
What?

1580
01:15:36,462 --> 01:15:39,098
That's not gonna work, Jessie.

1581
01:15:39,131 --> 01:15:40,466
Hee hee hee.

1582
01:15:40,499 --> 01:15:43,068
Your phone, you broke it
during the set, remember?

1583
01:15:44,336 --> 01:15:45,771
- Yeah, I remember.
- Of course.

1584
01:15:45,804 --> 01:15:47,106
Oh, my gosh,
how could you forget?

1585
01:15:47,139 --> 01:15:48,974
How could I forget?
How could anyone forget?

1586
01:15:49,008 --> 01:15:52,044
Oh, my gosh, I had this, like,
crazy breakthrough today, too.

1587
01:15:52,077 --> 01:15:54,280
Why are we going east?
We need to be going west?

1588
01:15:54,313 --> 01:15:55,781
You know what I'm
all about now, Jessie?

1589
01:15:55,814 --> 01:15:57,816
I'm all about love.
I'm a man of love.

1590
01:15:57,850 --> 01:15:59,385
You can just... just pull
over here and let me out.

1591
01:15:59,418 --> 01:16:00,986
Okay, just listen to me.

1592
01:16:01,020 --> 01:16:02,454
I'm just trying to, like,
make myself heard by you.

1593
01:16:02,488 --> 01:16:04,423
So, like, check this out.

1594
01:16:04,456 --> 01:16:07,226
Love is more powerful
than anything.

1595
01:16:07,259 --> 01:16:09,094
That's something that I figured
out back there at the show.

1596
01:16:09,128 --> 01:16:10,296
- It's like love...
- Just let me out, man.

1597
01:16:10,329 --> 01:16:12,798
- Just please...
- ...love is more powerful

1598
01:16:12,831 --> 01:16:14,099
than anything.

1599
01:16:14,133 --> 01:16:15,734
- You know what I mean?
- No.

1600
01:16:15,768 --> 01:16:17,169
It could break down
any sort of barrier

1601
01:16:17,203 --> 01:16:18,938
between any type of person.

1602
01:16:18,971 --> 01:16:22,808
It's like, man, how can
something that's so powerful

1603
01:16:22,841 --> 01:16:24,276
also just be such
a good branding tool?

1604
01:16:24,310 --> 01:16:25,511
Kurt, please let me
out of the car.

1605
01:16:25,544 --> 01:16:27,146
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like

1606
01:16:27,179 --> 01:16:29,848
imagine the audience
that you and me could get

1607
01:16:29,882 --> 01:16:31,917
if we just plussed
our audiences together.

1608
01:16:31,951 --> 01:16:33,152
Oh, my gosh,
can you imagine the numbers...

1609
01:16:33,185 --> 01:16:34,954
You are freaking me out
right now.

1610
01:16:34,987 --> 01:16:36,355
...from a leaked sex tape?

1611
01:16:36,388 --> 01:16:38,157
- That would be unbelievable.
- What?

1612
01:16:38,190 --> 01:16:39,792
And it's like having sex?

1613
01:16:39,825 --> 01:16:41,327
We're beyond having sex
at that point.

1614
01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:43,028
We're, like, making love.

1615
01:16:43,062 --> 01:16:45,397
Like, real love, though,
not, like, disingenuine love.

1616
01:16:45,431 --> 01:16:46,899
- It's cool, right?
- Where are we going?

1617
01:16:46,932 --> 01:16:48,334
I'm taking you home.

1618
01:16:48,367 --> 01:16:50,135
This is not the way
to my fucking house, Kurt.

1619
01:16:50,169 --> 01:16:52,004
Oh, no, not <i>your</i> home.

1620
01:16:52,037 --> 01:16:53,239
<i>My</i> home.

1621
01:16:55,274 --> 01:16:56,408
My home.

1622
01:17:27,873 --> 01:17:29,041
Aah!

1623
01:17:42,955 --> 01:17:45,124
Aah!
Let go!

1624
01:17:53,265 --> 01:17:54,933
What is wrong with you?

1625
01:18:01,974 --> 01:18:05,177
Didn't you listen to me?
I said I'm all about love now.

1626
01:19:01,934 --> 01:19:03,202
Okay.

1627
01:19:19,686 --> 01:19:22,054
Sorry, Jessie.

1628
01:19:57,423 --> 01:19:59,558
<i>Can't believe you got out
of the car bro</i>

1629
01:19:59,591 --> 01:20:01,393
<i>what a fucking dumbass.</i>

1630
01:20:08,500 --> 01:20:09,535
Shit.

1631
01:20:13,773 --> 01:20:15,541
Oh, my God.

1632
01:20:26,618 --> 01:20:28,520
<i>Run.</i>

1633
01:20:49,541 --> 01:20:51,043
Aah!

1634
01:21:00,820 --> 01:21:03,322
Why are you doing this?

1635
01:21:03,355 --> 01:21:06,291
Jessie, we could have
been a power couple!

1636
01:21:09,294 --> 01:21:11,997
No! Aah!

1637
01:21:33,552 --> 01:21:35,755
<i>Sis you're doing frickin great!</i>

1638
01:21:35,788 --> 01:21:38,123
Whoever the fuck is watching
this, you are sick!

1639
01:21:38,156 --> 01:21:41,059
What is wrong with you?
This is not a fucking TV show.

1640
01:21:41,093 --> 01:21:42,561
If you know where we are,
call the cops.

1641
01:21:44,396 --> 01:21:45,832
Shit.

1642
01:21:45,865 --> 01:21:49,067
Shit, shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit, shit.

1643
01:21:50,168 --> 01:21:52,371
What the hell happened here?!

1644
01:21:54,172 --> 01:21:56,341
Who are you?

1645
01:21:56,375 --> 01:21:59,077
What did you do?

1646
01:21:59,111 --> 01:22:00,345
I-I didn't do anything.

1647
01:22:00,379 --> 01:22:02,314
You're really
fucked up right now.

1648
01:22:02,347 --> 01:22:04,651
And I'm sorry if you're drunk
or high or...

1649
01:22:05,752 --> 01:22:07,452
I'm gonna have to call the cops.

1650
01:22:07,486 --> 01:22:08,721
Call them!
Tell them the address!

1651
01:22:08,755 --> 01:22:10,589
There's a fucking psycho
running around.

1652
01:22:12,725 --> 01:22:16,562
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Angela.

1653
01:22:16,595 --> 01:22:18,798
Did you do this?
Did you kill her?

1654
01:22:18,831 --> 01:22:20,432
What did you do to her?

1655
01:22:25,805 --> 01:22:28,540
Why don't you just kill me, too?

1656
01:22:28,574 --> 01:22:31,410
Angela's dead.
Nobody showed up to my set.

1657
01:22:31,443 --> 01:22:33,813
So come on!
Take me out.

1658
01:22:33,846 --> 01:22:35,782
Ah!

1659
01:22:38,350 --> 01:22:40,218
Kurt.

1660
01:22:41,520 --> 01:22:43,355
Did you do this?

1661
01:22:44,323 --> 01:22:46,391
Did you kill your mother?

1662
01:22:46,425 --> 01:22:47,827
Thanks, Kurt.

1663
01:22:47,860 --> 01:22:49,561
Shit, almost forgot.

1664
01:22:49,595 --> 01:22:51,363
Mom.

1665
01:22:51,396 --> 01:22:53,231
Tell me you didn't
kill your mother.

1666
01:22:53,265 --> 01:22:54,634
Hey, Mom.

1667
01:23:00,172 --> 01:23:01,406
No.

1668
01:23:01,440 --> 01:23:03,241
Kurt, seriously.

1669
01:24:14,681 --> 01:24:16,816
Wow.

1670
01:24:16,849 --> 01:24:18,383
Thanks for watching.

1671
01:24:18,417 --> 01:24:21,921
And hopefully a lot of you
now follow me.

1672
01:24:24,289 --> 01:24:26,591
What a crazy day for me.

1673
01:24:26,626 --> 01:24:30,562
<i>Jessie please go see
if Kurt is still alive.</i>

1674
01:24:33,598 --> 01:24:36,268
So many emotions.

1675
01:24:36,301 --> 01:24:39,706
Highs and lows.

1676
01:24:40,907 --> 01:24:44,777
And here we are,
the end of "The Lesson."

1677
01:24:53,052 --> 01:24:55,855
I really hope you guys
learned something.

1678
01:24:55,888 --> 01:24:59,659
I mean, I know
you learned something.

1679
01:25:02,527 --> 01:25:04,296
And as for me?

1680
01:25:15,574 --> 01:25:17,576
50,000 people watching.

1681
01:25:22,514 --> 01:25:24,549
I guess I got what I wanted.

1682
01:25:32,725 --> 01:25:35,661
<i>Grab a selfie with him!
YOLO!</i>

1683
01:26:00,052 --> 01:26:01,821
Looks like someone fucked up

1684
01:26:01,854 --> 01:26:05,390
and put your girl
in a fancy hotel. What?

1685
01:26:10,428 --> 01:26:12,430
All eyes on me!
I want to be seen!

1686
01:26:40,026 --> 01:26:44,130
But the thing about me is that
I'll continue to find Kurt.

1687
01:26:44,163 --> 01:26:46,065
I will continue to dig
until I get...

1688
01:26:46,098 --> 01:26:49,068
until I get the...
until I get real Kurt.

1689
01:26:49,101 --> 01:26:52,038
And that's why you're...
that's why you'll subscribe.

1690
01:27:47,026 --> 01:27:48,194
Hey, guys, what's up?

1691
01:27:48,227 --> 01:27:49,494
It's Kurt here
from Kurt's World.

1692
01:28:00,045 --> 01:28:05,045
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org