Quiplash Prompts: Base Game

“Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” (BLANK)
“On the 147th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...”
“This just in! A (BLANK) has won the election and will become the new governor of Texas.”
A bad campaign slogan for a congressperson
A bad first line for your presidential inauguration speech
A bad name for a brand of bottled water
A bad name for a brand of hot sauce
A bad name for a hospital
A bad name for a pet goldfish
A bad name for a water park
A bad name for an Italian restaurant
A bad occupation for a robot to have
A bad place for your rocket ship to crash would be The Planet of the (BLANK)
A bad place to skinny-dip
A bad reason to call 911
A bad substitute for a toothbrush
A bad thing to say to a cop as he writes you a speeding ticket
A bad thing to yell during church
A bad title for a self-help book
A bad use for clam chowder
A bad way to remove unsightly chest hair
A bad, one-word slogan for a presidential campaign
A better name for dandruff
A better name for France
A better name for testicles
A better name for the game Duck Duck Goose
A better name for the human bladder
A better name for the Washington Monument
A birthday present you shouldn’t get for your grandmother
A body of water you definitely shouldn’t swim in
A brand name for a medication that intentionally CAUSES male impotence
A business or service that shouldn’t have a drive-through window
A catchy name for a sperm bank
A clever thing for James Bond to say as he throws someone out of an airplane
A club you wish they had in high school
A college major you don’t see at many universities
A completely untrue rumor about Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks
A completely wrong way to spell “Jennifer Aniston”
A crazy thing to find during a colonoscopy
A creepy thing to find scribbled onto a dollar bill
A cute name for hemorrhoids
A dangerous thing to do while driving
A double rainbow doesn’t have gold at the end of it. Instead, it has (BLANK)
A Facebook status you don’t want your grandparents to see
A faster way to get home from the Land of Oz is to click your heels three times and say <BLANK>.
A fun outfit to dress up the statue of David in
A fun thing to do with a bowl of pudding
A fun thing to think about during mediocre sex
A fun thing to yell as a baby is being born
A fun trick to play on the Pope
A fun trick to play on your doctor
A funny thing to write down on a form when it asks for your sex
A gift nobody would want: The (BLANK) of the Month Club
A Girl Scouts cookie name that got rejected because it was just too ridiculous-sounding
A good catchphrase to yell every time you finish pooping
A good fake name to use when checking into a hotel
A good improvement to make to Mt. Rushmore
A good name for a dog country singer
A good name for a pet cemetery
A good name for a restaurant that serves animals with the faces still on them
A good name for a sex robot
A good name for an elderly nudist colony
A good name for an erotic bakery
A good place to hide boogers
A good post-music career for Justin Bieber
A good puck replacement if they run out of pucks in a game of hockey
A good sign that you’ve drunk too much Mt. Dew
A good sign that your dog is really an a-hole
A good sign that your house is haunted
A good stage name for a chimpanzee stripper
A good thing to give trick-or-treaters on Halloween when you’ve run out of candy
A good use for toenail clippings
A good way to get fired
A great birthday present for your worst enemy
A great brand name for extra-extra-large condoms
A great gag gift would be an exploding (BLANK)
A great name for a nude beach in Alaska
A great name to have on a fake I.D.
A great new invention that starts with “Automatic”
A great nickname for your armpit hair
A great opening line to start a conversation with a stranger at a party
A great pet name for a parasitic worm that lives in your ear
A great place to hide an Easter egg
A great thing to yell before jumping out of an airplane
A great way to cure the hiccups
A great way to kill time at work
A great way to start a conversation with a weird loner on the subway
A group activity at a really bad summer camp
A hip, new advertising slogan for socks
A historical event that would make a bad theme for a restaurant
A horrible charity: (BLANK) for Tots
A just-so-crazy-it’s-brilliant business idea to pitch on <i>Shark Tank</i>
A kinky weird thing that does NOT happen in 50 Shades of Grey (as far as you know)
A lawn decoration sure to make the neighbors mad
A lesser-known ingredient in most microwave pizza pockets
A lesser-known Knight of the Round Table: Sir (BLANK)
A lesson that probably wouldn’t be taught on <i>Sesame Street</i>
A little known-perk of being U.S. president
A little-known fact about Canada
A little-known fact about the Jolly Green Giant
A little-known nickname for New Orleans
A little-known way to get gum out of your hair
A magazine that should never have a nude centerfold
A mean text you would send to break up with a Muppet
A message found in a bottle floating in the sea
A more environment-friendly alternative to toilet paper
A movie that could use some nudity
A movie that should never be made into a theme park ride
A name for a board game designed to give children nightmares
A name for a brand of designer adult diapers
A name for a new cereal that’s for adults only
A name for a really bad Broadway musical
A name for a really cheap hotel
A name for a really scary swamp: (BLANK) Swamp
A new ice cream flavor that no one would ever order
A new name for kumquats
A new slang term for impotence
A new word for people that drive too slow in the fast lane
A new, completely BS holiday that greeting card companies would make up to sell more cards
A not-very-scary name for a pirate
A peculiar thing to see in a Help Wanted ad would be “Help Wanted: (BLANK)”
A phrase you would love to hear Morgan Freeman say
A place where you’re not likely to spot Bigfoot
A polite way to say “booger”
A poor substitute for a necktie
A poor substitute for underwear
A possible entry in Gary Busey’s dream journal: “Tonight I dreamed (BLANK)”
A prank the Supreme Court Justices probably play on each other
A punch line for a joke that would make children cry
A real weirdo would fall asleep to the sounds of (BLANK)
A realistic, honest fast-food slogan
A really odd thing to say on your deathbed
A really stupid idea for a phone app (that would still make you millions of dollars)
A reason to get into a fist fight with a koala bear
A reason to travel back in time to two weeks ago
A rejected crayon color
A rejected name for a ship in the U.S. Naval Fleet: the USS (BLANK)
A rejected phrase for one of those Valentine heart candies
A rejected safety technique for when you catch fire was to “stop, drop, and (BLANK)”
A rejected shape for Marshmallow Peeps
A rejected tagline for <i>Star Trek</i> instead of “Space: the final frontier” was “Space: (BLANK)”
A rejected title for <i>The Good, The Bad and the Ugly</i> was <i>The Good, the Bad and the <BLANK></i>
A ridiculous government agency that no one knows about: The Department of (BLANK)
A secret ability of boobs
A secret way to get stubborn ketchup out of the bottle
A sequel to the painting “Dogs Playing Poker”
A short motto everyone should live by
A sign that you’re a bad teacher
A sign you probably shouldn’t put up in your yard
A sign you wouldn’t want to see at a seafood restaurant
A slogan to get everyone excited about corn
A Socrates quote that nobody bothered to write down
A Starbucks coffee that should never exist
A strange place to hold a family reunion
A strange poster to hang in a college dorm room
A strange side effect to hear during a drug commercial
A strange thing to keep as a pet
A strange thing to read on a door mat
A street name you never see
A sure sign that a drifter has been secretly living in your house
A surprising job entry on Abraham Lincoln’s resume
A surprising purchase on Willy Wonka’s credit card statement
A surprising thing to find inside a piñata
A surprising thing to hear in a nature documentary
A terrible food truck would be one that goes around selling only (BLANK)
A terrible name for a 1930s gangster
A terrible name for a clown
A terrible name for a cruise ship
A terrible name for a funeral parlor
A terrible name for a king
A terrible name to have if you’re running for public office
A terrible sportscaster catchphrase for when somebody dunks a basketball
A terrible talent to have for the Miss America Pageant
A terrible theme for a high school prom
A terrible thing to sign on the cast of your friend’s broken leg
A terrible vacation idea: going to visit The Museum of (BLANK)
A terrible wedding gift
A terrifying fortune cookie fortune
A theme for a desk calendar that wouldn’t sell very well
A thought that keeps Santa Claus awake at night
A title of a self-help book for rats
A TMZ headline you really want to see
A tourist attraction in Hell
A trick you shouldn’t teach your dog
A trick you’d like to see a poodle do
A Tweet from a caveman
A unique way to escape from prison
A vanity license plate a jerk in an expensive car would get
A very unnecessary surgery
A weapon that should be added to the game Clue
A weird photo to keep in your wallet
A weird physical way to greet someone
A weird thing for a bank robber to demand in a hostage situation
A weird thing to find in your grandparents’ bedside table
A weird thing to hear from your doctor: “I’m afraid you have (BLANK)”
A weirdly enticing subject line for an email in your SPAM folder
A word that should be in the dictionary but isn’t
A word that should never follow “Beef”
Advice: Never stick your tongue into (BLANK)
After the Heimlich Maneuver, the second-best way to stop someone from choking
An alternate name for The Mona Lisa
An alternate use for a banana
An angry internet comment on a pet store’s website
An angry review you’d give this game (Quiplash)
An animal Noah shouldn’t have saved
An excuse to avoid riding the mechanical bull
An experiment mice actually like having performed on them
An idea for Lady Gaga’s next crazy outfit: a (BLANK) dress
An ill-advised outfit to wear to your first day at a new job
An image that would make the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling look more badass
An inappropriate theme for a set of kids’ pajamas
An inappropriate thing for a detective to say at a crime scene
An inappropriate thing to do at a cemetery
An inappropriate thing to say via skywriting
An invention by Thomas Edison that never caught on
An inventive way to get rid of head lice
An item NOT found in Taylor Swift’s purse
An item on every pervert’s grocery list
An odd casting choice would be Clint Eastwood as (BLANK)
An odd painting to hang above your bed
An Olympic sport that never made it: Synchronized (BLANK)
An unusual “Special Skill” to include on your resume
An unusual motif for a baby’s nursery
An unusual object to bludgeon someone to death with
An unusual theme for a kid’s lunchbox
Another name for a rectal thermometer
Another name for a sex-change operation
Another name for Canada
Another name for the Grand Canyon
Another name for toe jam
Another use for cooked spaghetti
Another use for gravy
Another use for marshmallows
Another use for tampons
Aw screw it... just type in something dirty
Bad advice for new graduates
Brand name of a bottled water sold in the land of Oz
Briefly describe your imaginary friend
CBS should air a TV show about lawyers who are also (BLANK)
Combine any two words to make a fun, new made-up word
Come up with a catchier, more marketable name for the Bible
Come up with a great title for the next awkward teen sex movie
Come up with a name for a beer made especially for monkeys
Come up with a name for a fast food chain that only serves rabbit meat
Come up with a name for a generic brand of hot dogs that you probably shouldn’t buy
Come up with a name for a kooky ostrich who solves mysteries
Come up with a name for a new beer marketed toward babies
Come up with a name for a new, very manly cocktail
Come up with a name for a rock band made up entirely of baby ducks
Come up with a name for a salad dressing by Lindsay Lohan
Come up with a name for a sitcom about a bunch of wacky nuns
Come up with a name for the most difficult yoga pose known to mankind
Come up with a new dessert that contains the name of a U.S. state
Come up with a really bad football penalty that begins with “Intentional”
Come up with a really bad TV show that starts with “Baby”
Come up with a slogan for the Russian Tourism Board
Come up with a three-word sequel to the book “Eat, Pray, Love”
Come up with a title for an adult version of any classic video game
Come up with the name for a new TV show with the word “Spanky” in it
Come up with the name of a country that doesn’t exist
Come up with the name of book that would sell a million copies, immediately
Coming soon to a theater near you: Benedict Cumberbatch is (BLANK)
Everyone knows that monkeys hate (BLANK)
Everyone knows there’s no such thing as (BLANK)
Everything tastes better with (BLANK)
Finish this sentence: “When I’m rich, my mansion will have a room called The (BLANK) Room.”
Four out of five dentists agree you should never (BLANK)
Fun thing to do if locked in the mall overnight
George W. Bush and Dick Cheney’s rap duo name
Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t spank you right now
Graffiti you might find in a kindergarten
Helpful advice you would give to Super Mario
How do you like it?
How far is too far?
How Garfield the cartoon cat will eventually die
How many monkeys is too many monkeys?
How would YOU fix the economy?
HR would probably get the most complaints on “Bring your (BLANK) to work” day
If a genie gives you three wishes, the best things to wish for are: 1) a billion dollars, 2) eternal life, and 3) (BLANK)
If a winning coach gets Gatorade dumped on his head, what should get dumped on the losing coach?
If animals took over, an exhibit you’d see at the human zoo
If at first you don’t succeed...
If God has a sense of humor, he welcomes people to heaven by saying, “(BLANK)”
If we can’t afford to bury or cremate you, what should we do with your body?
If we only use 10% of our brains, what’s the other 90% doing?
If you don’t have extra money, an odd thing to use as a tip for your waiter
If you really want to impress the Olympic diving judges, try a dive that involves (BLANK)
If you really, really love something, let it (BLANK)
If you were allowed to name someone else’s baby any weird thing you wanted, what would you name it?
If you’d never heard the term “great white shark,” what might you call it when you saw one for the first time?
In a shocking poll, it was discovered that three out of four Americans (BLANK)
In the future, RoboCop actually retires from the police force and becomes Robo-<BLANK>
In the future, scientists discover that the secret to eternal youth is (BLANK)
Invent a Christmas tradition sure to catch on
Invent a family-friendly replacement word that you could say instead of an actual curse word
Invent a holiday that you think everyone would enjoy
Invent a new word for the toilet that sounds like it’s from Shakespeare
Invent a silly British term for pooping
It never ends well when you mix (BLANK) and (BLANK)
It would be awesome to win <i>Jeopardy</i> with the phrase, “What is <BLANK>, Alex?”
It would be most awesome for Chuck Norris to fight (BLANK)
It would be scary to read on a food package, “May contain trace elements of <BLANK>.”
It’s bad to be buried alive. It’s worse to be buried alive with <BLANK>.
It’s disappointing to put together a 1,000 piece puzzle and realize it’s just a picture of (BLANK)
It’s illegal to yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater, but it should also be illegal to yell, “<BLANK>!”
Italy’s newest tourist attraction: The (BLANK)Tower of Pisa
Jesus’s REAL last words
Kennedy’s original speech said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask (BLANK)”
Life hack! Lower your heating bills by...
Life would be so much better if we all lived in (BLANK)
Like “dinger,” “grand salami,” and “jack,” come up with a new slang term for a home run in baseball
Like chicken fingers or chicken poppers, a new appetizer name for your fun, theme restaurant: chicken _____
Like Plutonium or Einsteinium, what would you name the next Periodic Table element they discover?
Little-known fact: A secret area in the White House is the (BLANK) room
Little-known fact: An unaired episode of <i>The Brady Bunch</i> had the family dealing with (BLANK)
Little-known fact: Over the course of a lifetime, an average person accidentally eats ten (BLANK)
Little-known fact: the fourth Wise Man gave baby Jesus the worst gift of all: (BLANK)
Little-known fact: The government allows peanut butter to contain up to 10% (BLANK)
Little-known fact: The human body is approximately 80% (BLANK)
Little-known fact: the scariest animal in the world is the (BLANK) cobra
Make up a curse word
Make up a name for a silent-film porno from the 1920s
Make up a name for the space between your nostrils
Make up a schoolyard game that children should never play at recess
Make up a word for the watery substances that come out of a ketchup bottle when you first squeeze it
Make up a word that describes the sound of farting into a bowl of mac & cheese
Make up a word that means “to make up a word”
Make up the title of a movie that is based on the first time you had sex
Miley Cyrus’ Wi-Fi password, possibly
Miller Lite beer would make a lot of money if they came up with a beer called Miller Lite _____
Mother Teresa’s deepest secret
Name a candle scent designed specifically for Kim Kardashian
Name a children’s book by someone who hates children
Name a new movie starring a talking goat who is president of the United States
Name a new reggae band made up entirely of chickens
Name a TV drama that’s about a vampire doctor
Name the eighth dwarf, who got cut at the last minute
Name the next big sexually transmitted disease
Name the sequel to <i>Titanic</i> if there were one. <i>Titanic 2: <BLANK></i>
Name your new haircutting establishment
Never pay more than $3 for (BLANK)
New movie idea: <i>The Muppets Take <BLANK></i>
New requirement at amusement parks: “You must be this (BLANK) to ride”
New show idea: <i>America’s Next Top <BLANK></i>
New sport idea: professional (BLANK)
No one would guess this is where the treasure is buried
Okay... fine! What do YOU want to talk about then?!!!
On your wedding night, it would be horrible to find out that the person you married is (BLANK)
One place a finger shouldn’t go
One thing never to do on a first date
Ozzy Osbourne’s Twitter password, probably
Pants would be a whole lot better if they (BLANK)
Paul Bunyan’s replacement for Babe The Blue Ox when he dies
People wouldn’t respect He-Man as much if, to gain his power, he held up his sword and shouted “____________________”
Pick any city name and make it sound dirty
Queen Elizabeth’s deepest, darkest secret
Really awful cheerleaders would yell “<BLANK>!”
Rename any famous work of literature so that it is ruined by the word “butt”
Rename Winnie-the-Pooh to something more appropriate/descriptive
Safety tip! Don’t eat a half hour before you (BLANK)
Santa Claus would be a bigger badass if his sleigh were driven by eight tiny…
Scientists say erosion, but we all know the Grand Canyon was actually made by (BLANK)
Sleepwalking can be a problem but it’s not as bad as sleep(BLANK)
So... what was that movie <i>Birdman</i> about anyway?
Something a talking doll probably should NOT say when you pull the string
Something a weatherman might yell if he completely snapped during the weather forecast
Something awful to hold in your mouth for an hour
Something fun to ask the old wise man on top of the mountain
Something fun to do with your kidney stones after you pass them
Something fun to scream at a farmer’s market
Something fun to scream when you win in a game of bingo, other than “Bingo!”
Something fun to yell during an opera
Something Godzilla does when he’s drunk
Something in a weirdo’s bedroom
Something inappropriate to do at the gym
Something it’d be fun to throw off the Eiffel Tower
Something it’s not a good idea to put in the overhead bin on an airplane
Something overheard at the Last Supper
Something people used to do for fun before electricity
Something pirates probably aren’t very good at
Something squirrels probably do when no one is looking
Something that absolutely doesn’t make you think of a penis on some level
Something that is currently legal that should be banned
Something that is probably on Nicolas Cage’s “To Do” list
Something that should never be “homemade”
Something that will get you thrown out of a Wendy’s
Something that would make a creepy replacement for the horses on a merry-go-round
Something that would make an awful hat
Something that would not work as well as skis
Something that would not work well as a dip for tortilla chips
Something that’s made worse by adding cheese
Something the devil is afraid of
Something they will probably never make a series of commemorative stamps for
Something upsetting you could say to the cable guy as he installs your television service
Something you can make out of body hair
Something you can only do in a Walmart if no one’s looking
Something you do not want to do while standing in a police lineup
Something you don’t expect to see when you spy on your neighbors
Something you don’t want to find in your Christmas stocking
Something you probably shouldn’t bring on a trip across the Sahara desert
Something you probably shouldn’t try to sell on eBay
Something you promise to yell if you win this game
Something you rarely see used as a car decoration
Something you should never put on an open wound
Something you should never say as the captain of a bowling team
Something you should never say to your mother
Something you should never stick up your butt
Something you should never try to heat in the microwave
Something you should never use as a scarf
Something you should not put in your kid’s sandbox
Something you should not say in front of a parrot
Something you should not whisper to your grandmother
Something you shouldn’t buy at a yard sale
Something you shouldn’t buy off of Craigslist
Something you shouldn’t get your significant other for Valentine’s Day
Something you shouldn’t stuff with cheese
Something you shouldn’t use a chainsaw for
Something you shouldn’t wear to a job interview
Something you would like to fill a swimming pool with
Something you wouldn’t expect a Ouija board to say
Something you’d be surprised to see a donkey do
Something you’d be surprised to see come out of a pimple you pop
Something you’d love to smash with a wrecking ball
Something you’d make a butler do the moment you hired him
Something you’d probably find a lot of in God’s refrigerator
Something you’d sneak into space, if you were an astronaut
Something you’d yell to heckle the performing dolphins at Sea World
Sometimes John Travolta wildly mispronounces names. How might he wildly mispronounce his own name?
Sometimes, after a long day, you just need to (BLANK)
Superman’s special power that he never tells anyone about
Surprising first words for your baby to speak
Survival tip! Start a fire by rubbing (BLANK)
Take any U.S. president’s name and turn it into something inappropriate
Take any well-known restaurant and slightly change its name to something inappropriate
The #1 reason penguins can’t fly
The 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not...
The 6,077th layer of Hell is reserved for (BLANK)
The beauty pageant no one wants to see: Miss (BLANK)
The best name for an obese rapper
The best news you could get today
The best part about being Donald Trump
The best pick-up line for an elderly singles mixer
The best place to bury all those bodies
The best prize you could find in a Cracker Jack box
The best question to ask God when you meet him
The best reason to go to Australia
The best shirt to wear next to somebody who’s wearing an “I’m with stupid” T-shirt
The best thing about being really dumb
The best thing about being thrown into a volcano
The best thing about going to prison
The best thing about living in an igloo
The best thing to use when you’re out of toilet paper
The best title for a new national anthem for the USA
The best use for a leftover meatball
The best way to catch a leprechaun
The best way to defeat terrorism is...
The best way to keep warm on a cold winter night
The best way to quickly blow a million dollars
The best way to scare a burglar
The best way to start your day
The best way to survive a bear attack is (BLANK)
The best way to tell if a tomato is ripe
The best way to tell if someone is dead
The biggest complaint of people in Hell
The biggest downside to living in Hell
The biggest issue facing the town of Margaritaville
The biggest secret the government keeps
The celebrity you’d eat first if you were a cannibal, and the side dish you’d eat them with
The coolest way to die
The crime you would commit if you could get away with it
The difference between Grade A beef and Grade B beef
The dumbest method of birth control
The dumbest person in the history of all time
The first and second rules of Fight Club are “Don’t talk about Fight Club,” but what’s the 387th rule of Fight Club?
The first commandment in the new religion you started
The first inductee of the A-hole Hall of Fame
The first names of each of your nipples
The first sign that you’re old
The first thing a pig would say if it could talk
The first thing that pops into your mind right now
The first thing to do if you’re attacked by a shark
The first thing you would do after winning the lottery
The Four Horsemen wouldn’t be as scary if they were the Four (BLANK)men of the Apocalypse
The futuristic invention you can’t wait to see exist
The government should legalize...
The grossest thing you could find at the bottom of a swimming pool
The grossest thing you’d put in your mouth for $18
The hardest part about living in a submarine
The hardest thing about being Batman
The hit song from the Broadway show <i>Fart: The Musical</i>
The Katy Perry Super Bowl halftime show would have been better with (BLANK)
The last person you’d consider inviting to your birthday party
The least appetizing name for a restaurant
The least impressive Boy Scout badge
The least popular item in the Victoria’s Secret catalog
The least romantic place to propose marriage
The least-threatening name for a serial killer: The Boston (BLANK)
The liquid that would make for the worst salad dressing
The most awesome Guinness World Record to break
The most bitching thing you can airbrush on your van
The most boring graffiti you could see in the subway
The most common thing you’d hear if you could read people’s thoughts
The most creative thing you can make entirely out of boogers
The most embarrassing crime to get caught committing
The most embarrassing name for a dog
The most G-rated term for an erection
The most obnoxious name someone could give their kid
The most popular T-shirt slogan in Mississippi, probably
The most presidential name you can think of (that isn’t already the name of a president)
The most stereotypical country song title
The most surprising person to admit to being the Zodiac Killer
The name of a canine comedy club with puppy stand-up comedians
The name of a clothing store for overweight leprechauns
The name of a cocktail for hillbillies
The name of a dog food brand you probably should not buy
The name of a font nobody would ever use
The name of a hairstyle that will never catch on
The name of a law firm you shouldn’t hire
The name of a new game show that sounds terrible
The name of a new perfume by Betty White
The name of a new U.S. state you would never visit
The name of a painting Michelangelo was ashamed he created
The name of a pizza place you should never order from
The name of a really bizarre diet that just never caught on
The name of a sexy new dance move
The name of a shampoo for hippies
The name of a species of dinosaur you wouldn’t want to meet
The name of a toilet paper specifically designed for the Queen of England
The name of an all-male version of Hooters
The name of Jesus’ 13th apostle
The name of that cheese shop you’re going to open some day
The name of the music playlist that will definitely put an end to the party
The name of the next hot boy band
The name of the reindeer Santa didn’t pick to pull his sleigh
The name of the website that probably gave your computer a virus
The name of your new plumbing company
The name that cavemen probably gave to diarrhea
The name you would give to a really mopey pig
The newest health food: (BLANK) juice
The next product for Matthew McConaughey to endorse
The official medical term for belly button lint (probably)
The Old English term for “vagina”
The one phrase the NSA is tired of watching us type into Google
The one thing that isn’t better dipped in chocolate
The one thing you wish a politician would just say already
The password to the secret, high-society sex club down the street
The perfect day off is just twelve straight hours of (BLANK)
The perfect meal would be a (BLANK) stuffed in a (BLANK) stuffed in a (BLANK)
The perfect name for a second head that sprouts on your shoulder
The perfect song to hum on the toilet
The Pyramids would be even more impressive if they contained (BLANK)
The real reason the dinosaurs died
The real secret to living to age 100
The real way you can tell an alligator from a crocodile
The reason Pluto isn’t a planet anymore
The second thing said on the moon
The secret to a great marriage
The secret to a happy life
The secret to a healthy head of hair
The secret to being a great kisser
The Seven Deadly Sins are lust, gluttony, greed, envy, pride, wrath, and sloth. The Eighth Deadly Sin is...
The Skittles flavor that just missed the cut
The sound a tree actually makes when it falls and no one is around to hear it
The strangest reason to get a divorce
The terrible fate of the snowman Olaf in a director’s cut of <i>Frozen</i>
The three ingredients in the worst smoothie ever
The title of a new YouTube cat video that’s sure to go viral
The title of the most boring porno ever
The title you’d come up with if you were writing the Olympics theme song
The Tooth Fairy’s other job
The toy surprise in an Unhappy Meal
The unsexiest thought you can have
The weirdest combination of three items that you could buy at the store
The weirdest room you could see in an airport would be one specifically designated for (BLANK)
The weirdest thing you can buy at the Vatican gift shop
The world’s most boring video game
The worst advice a doctor could give
The worst advice your boxing coach could give you
The worst air freshener scent
The worst album: “(BLANK) Sings the Blues”
The worst breakfast: pancakes shaped like (BLANK)
The worst car feature that ends with “holder”
The worst charity: Save the (BLANK)
The worst children’s board game would be “<BLANK>, (BLANK) Hippos”
The worst combination of two actors that could possibly star in the next season of <i>True Detective</i> together
The worst excuse for showing up late to work
The worst family secret that could come out over Thanksgiving dinner
The worst flavor for a sno-cone
The worst halftime show: The (BLANK) Dancers
The worst Halloween costume for a young child
The worst invention that starts with “Spray-On”
The worst job title that starts with “Assistant”
The worst material from which to make a pair of pajamas
The worst material with which to make a snowman
The worst menu item that starts with “All You Can Eat”
The worst name for a “big and tall” store
The worst name for a funeral home
The worst name for a mountain
The worst name for a race horse
The worst name for a rap artist
The worst name for a robot
The worst name for a summer camp
The worst name for a tanning salon
The worst name for an SUV
The worst person to narrate the audiobook of <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>
The worst person to receive a sponge bath from
The worst person to share a hot tub with
The worst pizza is <BLANK>-style pizza
The worst question to ask during a White House tour
The worst ringtone for a cell phone
The worst shape for an animal cracker
The worst slogan for an erectile dysfunction pill
The worst song to play when stripping for your lover
The worst soup flavor: Cream of (BLANK)
The worst tattoo to have on your forehead
The worst theme for a pinball machine
The worst theme for your kid’s first dance recital
The worst thing a plastic surgeon could say after he botched your surgery: “I’m sorry, I accidentally (BLANK)”
The worst thing about being a billionaire
The worst thing about Canada
The worst thing for an evil witch to turn you into
The worst thing that could crawl out of your toilet
The worst thing that could jump out of a bachelor party cake
The worst thing to find frozen in an ice cube
The worst thing to find growing on your neck
The worst thing to find stuck in your teeth
The worst thing to overhear during your surgery
The worst thing to receive for trick-or-treat
The worst thing to say when trying to adopt a pet
The worst thing to try to sell door-to-door
The worst thing to vomit into when you suddenly need to vomit
The worst thing to wear to your court trial
The worst thing to whisper during pillow talk
The worst thing to yell while a professional golfer putts
The worst thing you can tell the kids about the death of the family dog
The worst thing you could discover in your burrito
The worst thing you could rub all over your face
The worst thing you could stick in a toaster
The worst thing you could stuff a bed mattress with
The worst things to juggle
The worst toy store: Build-A-<BLANK> Workshop
The worst Vegas casino: (BLANK) Palace
The worst warning to read on some medicine you just swallowed
The worst way to be murdered
The worst way to fly: (BLANK) Airlines
The worst way to remove pubic hair
The worst way to spell Mississippi
The worst word that can come before “fart”
The worst words to say for the opening of a eulogy at a funeral
The years 2011 to 2020 will be remembered as “The (BLANK) Age”
There’s Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff, but what’s the Hogwarts house few have ever heard of?
There’s only one time that murder is acceptable and that is when (BLANK)
Thing you’d be most surprised to have a dentist a find in your mouth
Three things are certain in life: Death, Taxes, and (BLANK)
Three things MacGyver needs to make a bomb
Tip: Never eat at a place called “Kentucky Fried (BLANK)”
Today’s music needs more (BLANK)
Tomorrow’s news headline: “Scientists Are Shocked to Discover That (BLANK)”
Trash talk you would hear at a chess meet
Turns out, the meaning of life is (BLANK)
Two people from history that should definitely have sex
USA! USA! America is still number one in...
Using only two words, a new state motto for Texas
Usually, it’s bacon, lettuce and tomato, but come up with a BLT you wouldn’t want to eat
We can all agree that (BLANK)
What a dog sext message might say
What aliens do with you after the anal probe
What an alarm clock could say that would wake you right up
What bears dream about all winter
What Big Foot complains about to his therapist the most
What Chewbacca has really been yelling all these years
What deer would use for bait if they hunted hunters
What do kittens dream of?
What do vegans taste like?
What dogs think when they see people naked
What FDR meant to say was “We have nothing to fear, but (BLANK)”
What happens to circumcision skin
What is a tree thinking all day?
What John Goodman’s belches smell like
What kittens would say if they could talk
What makes hot dogs taste so good?
What mustaches SHOULD be called
What really cracked the Liberty Bell?
What really happened to Amelia Earhart
What really happens if you stare at the sun too long
What really happens if you tear off that mattress tag
What robots dream about
What Sam Elliott probably nicknames his mustache
What Santa does with a dead elf
What Smokey the Bear does when he’s not fighting forest fires
What sperm yell as they swim
What tattoo should Justin Bieber get next?
What the boogeyman is afraid of
What the Easter Bunny does with his free time
What the genitalia on a Tofurky is called
What the government is hiding from the public in Area 497
What the hot trend in weddings will be in the year 2046
What the Statue of Liberty is hiding beneath that robe
What they call pooping in the Land of Oz
What they really found in King Tut’s tomb
What time is it?
What to do when your parachute fails
What to say to get out of jury duty
What two words would passengers never want to hear a pilot say?
What would make baseball more entertaining to watch?
What would you do if you were left alone in the White House for an hour?
What you call a baby sasquatch
What you hope the Mars Rover finds
What you think the word “pandiculation” means
What you want your gravestone to read
What you would do with two free hours and a flamethrower
What you’d guess is an unadvertised ingredient in most hot dogs
What your dog thinks when he sees you naked
What your pancreas tests revealed
What’s actually causing global warming?
What’s black and white and red all over?
What’s lurking under your bed when you sleep?
What’s really at the center of the Earth?
What’s really in a camel’s hump?
What’s that stain?
What’s the first thing you would do if you could time travel?
What’s the Mona Lisa smiling about?
What’s wrong with these kids today?
Where do babies come from?
Where do you think the beef really is?
Where missing socks go
Where’s Jimmy Hoffa?
Where’s the best place to hide from the shadow monsters?
Which new marshmallow should Lucky Charms cereal introduce?
Who let the dogs out?
Why did the mortician cross the road?
Why does the Tower of Pisa lean?
Why is the sky blue?
Why should you never turn your back on a penguin?
Why so serious?
Write a newspaper headline that will really catch people’s attention
You know you’re in for a bad taxi ride when (BLANK)
You know you’re really drunk when...
You need three things to live: food, water, and (BLANK)
You never forget your first (BLANK)
You never know when you’re going to need insurance. You could wake up tomorrow and (BLANK)
You probably shouldn’t hire a moving company called (BLANK)
You should never (BLANK) and (BLANK) at the same time
You should never give alcohol to (BLANK)
You should never share (BLANK) with someone else
You shouldn’t get a massage at a place called (BLANK)
You would never go on a roller coaster called (BLANK)
You wouldn’t want to share a prison cell with someone named (BLANK)
Your first decree after being named Supreme Ruler of Earth
Your personal catchphrase if you were on one of those <i>Real Housewives</i> shows