Rantfuck

post 1:

I read the first several posts in this thread and I started writing a rebuttal before reading much further into the thread, and suddenly I look at the clock and two hours have passed and I've written two thousand words. I'm posting this anyway.
>waah homestuck jumped the shark at the trickster arc.
No. You are wrong. Fuck you. That wasn't even an arc, it was a fucking drop in the ocean. If you're calling that an arc it's because you probably started reading serially around the that time. Cry me a fucking river, if that shit was what made MSPA "bad" then it jumped the fucking shark SEVERAL TIMES during Problem Sleuth when random saccharine bullshit took over and diverted from the plot. That happened SEVERAL TIMES and it was just as tedious then. While we're on this subject, the bit where Hussie changed CAUCASIAN to PEACHY wasn't crumbling to pressure to Tumblr. When the fuck has Hussie ever cared random strangers on the internet think? He was changing a joke so people reading archivally (a group that keeps fucking growing in number) would get the punchline, since the original joke only made sense at the time. I bet you wish he also made some Vriska is Fat jokes when he proposed to her in the comic. Give me a fucking break.

post 2:

>I stopped reading at the alpha kids, Homestuck should've ended at Cascade.
Holy fuck how are you even this dense. Cascade resolved nothing important, it was a solution to the problem of "how do I represent starting over from scratch without throwing away my main cast?" All of you fuckers bitching about the Trolls are responsible for this (and I'm coming for you next) with your constant bitching when the story diverted away from our main cast for half an act. You wanted to focus on the main kids, well, okay, let's fucking try to focus on them AND the new kids who've been built up slowly in the form of the Guardians, by cutting between the groups as we go back and forth between intermissions and "real" acts. Great fucking idea, now we're focusing on nothing at once. Hussie's mistake wasn't that he added another group of players, his mistake was switching back and forth between three separate groups. You fuckers are the worst because you somehow simultaneously love like half the alpha kids individually but bitch about their inclusion in the story, as if adding characters you like somehow ruined things? And before you even think about bitching about there being too many characters, fuck you, the alpha kids actually weren't new characters, they were development of previous characters (the fucking guardians, remember them?) who died in order to make fucking room in the cast.

post 3:

>Homestuck went to shit when it turned into shipping drama.
I could make an Adventure Time reference but it's not even worth the effort. Shipping bullshit, really? This is nothing fucking new in Homestuck and it's hardly even shipping. Remember Dave and Rose's psychoanalytic flirting? Exact same fucking thing  and it happened years earlier. The four main characters talking about their feelings for one another is the alternative to spending the entire length of acts 1 through 4 building them up. We already had a cast of characters to get back to and a fuckton of mysteries in the universe to address, you can begrudge Hussie for having a character awkwardly blunder through conversations about their feelings (like actual teenagers sometimes do) as opposed to spending several hundred pages gradually allowing the audience to feel the character's pain for them? There's more than one fucking way to develop a character and what Hussie did with the Alpha kids allowed us to get back to the rest of the cast and the plot (isn't that what you fucking claimed to have wanted in the first place?) and also gave us some fucking hysterical dialog. Jane's reaction face when Jake asks if she likes him and she says "No" is one of the funniest fucking panels in the entire comic, fuck you if you disagree with me.
>Homestuck went to shit when it turned into shipping drama
I'm addressing this point a second time because I used to see it come up a lot in regards to the Trolls too. It served the same purpose when they were being introduced too. "Here's a group of twelve people! They have various relations to one another, some positive, some negative, some platonic, some romantic! Behold, as I fucking tell you about them as quickly as possible!" It was hamfisted at times, sure, but the whole point of the Troll arc was to introduce the team and show off their screwball dynamics as quickly as possible. And speaking of the trolls and their team dynamic...

post 4:

>Homestuck was good up until the end of act 4, then it went to shit when they introduced the Trolls. It should've just focused on the kids.
This can also be expressed as:
>Homestuck should have ended with the defeat of the black king and winning Sburb. Everything past act 4 was unnecessary bullshit.
First of all I hate you. Second let's address part that you somehow keep forgetting, the Trolls weren't introduced in act 5, they were introduced in act 3. At this point the kids weren't even fucking fleshed out all the way yet. Remember that abandoned character trait about Dave preserving dead things in jars? That went fucking nowhere because Dave was still fucking new around this point. Jade was barely even a character! And here we have this MYSTERIOUS ASSHOLE talking about what can could be... PLOT SHIT! But at this point you fuckers are expecting the story to be about winning Sburb and saving Skaia. And I bet you thought they'd somehow save Earth from the meteors too. Fucking come on. Karkat and the Trolls were big signs that the story WASN'T about four kids who team up and save the world with the power of friendship. This isn't fucking Digimon. But a bunch of this retarded fucking fanbase didn't take the hint, even when it was becoming INCREASINGLY FUCKING CLEAR that the game was NOT WINNABLE. Finally by the time Descend came around and Jack WRECKED EVERYONE'S SHIT and the flash ended with Jade's fuckhuge meteor in the sky about to destroy everything, it should have been clear that there was more shit going on than saving the world from fucking meteors. But when we went and explored Karkat and his friends you people started bitching about the Trolls.
>Fuck these aliens, go back to the kids!
No, fuck you. Karkat and several of the trolls have more entertainment value than the kids group does, just by having a more dynamic group.

post 5:

>but [character] added nothing and was irrelevant to the plot!
No fucking shit! Not every character in the story is part of the main fucking cast, THERE ARE OTHERS. But you fuckheads were so obsessed with the patterns established with the introduction of the kids (EVEN AFTER KARKAT'S FUCKING INTRODUCTION EXPLICITLY SAID THAT WE WOULDN'T BE FOLLOWING ALL THOSE CONVENTIONS BECAUSE THAT WOULD TAKE FOREVER GHFJGSDJHKK) and you just fucking ASSUMED that the likes of Feferi, Tavros, et cetera would be exactly equally important to the story as Terzi, Vriska, and so on. You don't have to be a professional writer to understand what the fuck a supporting character is. Hell, most of the time when there's more than two trolls present in a scene, all the others are just there to crack jokes! It's usually like that when there's one main Troll and one Human too!
>we should have just focused on the main cast
WE FUCKING DID! Out of all of Homestuck, how much time is actually dedicated to a scene with only supporting characters, with no main characters present? It happens, yes, and when it does it's usually just for some fucking joke. (and I'm not going to claim it's always a good joke; Hussie does make fucking mistakes, don't get me wrong.) Did you somehow forget that after Hussie finished introducing the trolls, showing off their team dynamic, and having them all enter the medium, we skipped over HUNDREDS OF FUCKING HOURS OF IN-GAME TIME in order to get to the parts that had more impact on the story as a whole?

post 6:

>act 5 act 2 was too fucking long
FUCK YOU.
>No seriously, it was. Hussie should have just cut things shorter and wrapped up the story
Okay I will grant you the possibility that Hussie could have had act 5.2 consist of the Kids and Trolls teaming up to somehow salvage the unwinnable session, beat the game, and live happily ever after. Except AS I FUCKING SAID ABOVE:
>"the point of the story WASN'T about four kids who team up and save the world with the power of friendship."
This was made clear across THOUSANDS OF PAGERS, YEARS EARLIER. Remember the Midnight Crew intermission? Remember the guy who can only be killed via exploiting glitches in spacetime? Remember the monitor inside Mom's lab showing a session with EIGHT planets? Remember how Jack started the reckoning early, and the game was fucked beyond winning after LESS THAN A DAY of in-game time? Remember how Karkat's team, a group of fucking bloodthirsty speedrunners who powergamed through the whole thing took WEEKS to finish the game? Do you remember anything Doc Scratch said? Have you picked up on the recurring theme of the futility of fighting destiny that keeps getting brought up every time someone time travels? THE GAME. WAS NEVER. WINNABLE.
>"the point of the story WASN'T about four kids who team up and save the world with the power of friendship."
I'm going to get this printed on a t-shirt, tattooed across my forehead, build a skyscraper in the shape of the words, and personally hand-write a letter to every man woman and child on earth containing this phrase. IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME A WHILE.

post 7:

>Okay smartass then what was the point of Homestuck?
What's the point of any story? What's the "point" of the Lord of the Rings? It's a story about a dude walking to a volcano. It's a story about the corruptive power of evil, and the strength to overcome it. It's a story about characters who do things and learn and grow and shit. Is any of that the "point" of the Lord of the Rings? I don't fucking know, it's a dumb question. Homestuck is a story about four kids who get caught up in a universe more big and incomprehensible than they can ever hope to deal with, who are forced to take responsibility for big decisions they don't fully understand until it's too late to change them, while forces greater than themselves work against them at every turn. They make at least as many allies as they do enemies, and sometimes one turns into the other for reasons they don't fully understand. They meet other people who're in the same boat as they are, and they try to help each other when they can, but ultimately the blind are leading the blind and it's only a matter of time before someone makes a mistake that can't be fixed, and people get lost or left behind. It's fucking scary, it's sometimes sad, it's frequently hilarious if you can get the joke, and there's a lot to keep track of no matter how you approach it. Kind of like life.
>the beforeus trolls were shit though
THEY WERE JOKE CHARACTERS. JOKE. CHARACTERS. Except of course for Meenha and Aranea, who, wow, have more fucking character development and more fleshed out personalities than the rest. It's almost as if those two were actual characters, while the rest of their team was only introduced to help characterize them. MAN IT'S SO CONFUSING HOW HOMESTUCK KEEP HAVING THAT THING HAPPEN OVER AND OVER

I'm fucking done.