So this bitch Applejack

>Day So this bitch Applejack....in Equestria.
>It's been days since Fluttershy has tried any of her crazy bafoolishness.
>She still visits you every now and then.
>You just finished your morning routine and heading downstairs for some french 'nilla coffee.
>a few minutes later while you're enjoy a nice cup of hot coffee, you get a knock at the door.
"Damn it, it ALWAYS starts with a knock on the door."
>You walk over to your front door and take a deep breath.
"Okay, remain calm Anon, you got this."
>You answer the door and see Applejack with a bottle of Applejack Daniels and staggering back and forth.
"Applejack, you can't seriously be drunk right now, as EARLY as it is."
>"Hey you on' tell meh watado, it's appy hour somewhur."
>You pinch the bridge on your nose and close your eyes in annoyance.
>The shit you put up with.
"Ugh, look why don't you rest for a bit?"
>"Ah thought ya nevur aaaask."
>You sigh and move aside for Applejack to trot in.
>She plops on your couch and places the bottle she's been drinking on a nearby table.
>"Yur soooo gewd to meh Anony."
>You open your hall closet by the front door to grab a blanket, then walk over to her.
"Yeah I know."
>She turns on her back and looks at you.
>"Rub meh belleh monkey man."
"You really want a belly rub right now?"
>"Duh ya idjit now will ya-"
>Suddenly she stops mid-sentence and begin heave and puts a hoof over her mouth.
>Oh God no. She's gonna vomit.
"Applejack don't you-"
>"BLUUUUUUUURGH!!"
>Her vomit shoots out onto your shirt, splashing all on your face and pants as well.
>The smell of cinnamon and apples flood your nose as you gag a bit yourself.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
>She finally unloads the rest of her vomit on your floor and shoes.
>She wipes her mouth and giggles, "Well that did the trick, Ah feel a little bettur now."
>You groan in annoyance, this is how you start today.
"I'll get my bucket and mop..."

-5 hours later-
>You got on some cleaner clothes.
>You cleaned the mess.
>You're pissed as hell at Applejack.
>AND you just arrived at Rarity's boutique.
>It's a shame that shirt got apple sauce on it.
>Not to self: Be sure to Appleslap Applejack when you see her again.
>You knock on the door, and stand in place for a few seconds.
>Rarity answers.
>"Why hello dear, what can I do for you today?"
"I need another set of pants and shirt."
>"Oh sure thing darling, but...it's gonna cost yoooouu." She said that last bit in a sing-song tone.
"Whatever, I just need another shirt."
>"Come in please, I'll get to work right away."
>You walking into her place and take a gander.
>Jeez, what a snob.
>She points her way to her sewing room.
>"Come on Anon, we must make haste, I'm a VERY busy mare these days."
>You walk into the sewing room with Rarity right behind.
>"Alrighty dear, now why do you need to get a new shirt and pants?"
>You roll your eyes in annoyance.
"Alright so this bitch Applejack...."
======================================

>Day so this bitch Applejack in Equestria.
>Wake up.
>Mornin' ritual y'all.
>Walk downstairs and make yourself a bowl of Appa Snaps.
>knock knock at the door.
>Answer it, it's Appa Jak.
"Well this is a nice sursprise."
>"Ya bet it is sugarcube, now come here!"
"wat?"
>Applejack tackles you to the ground, and knocks the fuck out of you.
>Wake up in your bed.
"Ow fuck my head."
>You get up from your bed yet again.
>And walk downstairs to go outside and check the mail.
>You make it to your mail box and see Fluttershy setting up a net trap for you.
>"Morning Neighbor I'm going to rape soon!"
"Morning potential rapist."
>Fluttershy notices your left eye is bruised and rushes over.
>"Oh my, Anon are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine..."
>"What happened?"
"Alright so this bitch Applejack...."

======================================
>Day so this bitch Applejack...once again...in Equestria.
>Wake up.
>Mornin' ritual y'all.
>Shuffle your way downstairs.
>Time for some breakfast.
>You'll pass on the Appa Snaps today.
>You'll just have some coffee.
>A few minutes later, you're enjoy a nice cup of french 'nilla coffee.
>Suddenly a knock at the door.
>You answer it, it's Applejack.
"Morning Apple-"
>"YEEEHAAW"
>Suddenly, you're lassoed by the ankles and dragged to wherever in hell she's taking you.
"What the hell AJ?!"
>"Hush it boy, we're almost there."
>You try your best to squirm loose.
>"Quit yur figgitin' boy!"
>You keep your figgitin', you want to get loose.
>Applejack then drags you into a nearby bush.
"God damn it AJ! Watch it!!"
>"Oh stop yur bitchin'."
>She stops dragging you once you and her are hidden behind the bush.
>"That's more like it, sorry sugarcube, I just wanted get a little privacy with you."
"And you couldn't do it in the comfort of my own home?"
>Her brain dust of it's thinking cap and places it on top. You can tell she's trying too hard.
>You hear gears grinding as she makes this derpy retarded looking face.
>"Ya didn't have to call me a dumbass Anon, Ah know Ah'm not the smartest pony."
>She bursts into tears and runs off.
>....okay then sure.
>You break free of the rope AJ used and walk back home.
>On the way there, your run into Fluttershy.
>Instantly she comes running to your aid.
>"Oh my goodness are you okay? you look like you had a crazy day. What happened?"
"Alright so this bitch Applejack...."