Adoption Legislators, please...

Commentary 373595461
Adoption: Legislators, please make reconnection possible

Change the law on birth records as other states have. As my biological daughter and I can attest, the opening can be rewarding.


By Gloria C. Vee

March 25, 2016 — 6:40pm





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I waited 49 years for that phone call. The one I got in 2014 from the daughter I had given away for adoption in Minnesota in the mid-1960s.

I had thought of her every day since relinquishing her, hoping she had a good life. I wondered who adopted her. Was she treated well? Was she healthy and happy? Did she have a family of her own now? What was she like? Was she looking for me?


It was especially hard at Christmas when I gave my annual donation to the local orphanage. I prayed she had been placed in a good home and hadn’t grown up all alone.

I couldn’t just move on, forget about her and get on with my life — as the social workers told me to do after giving birth when I was 20. She was part of me. My flesh and blood. I wanted so much to keep her, but I didn’t have the means to care for her on my own. I knew I’d done the right thing for her, but it still weighed on me all these years.

Since I hadn’t heard from her, I thought maybe she didn’t know she was adopted. Turns out, she did know and she had thought about searching for me for a long time. She wanted to know where she came from — something children raised by their biological parents just know. While she had a great adoptive family, she felt there were parts of her that were different from them — puzzle pieces of her identity that didn’t quite fit.

So she checked reunion sites online to see if anyone from her birth family was looking for her. She considered working with the social-­service agency that handled her adoption to do a formal search. In what she thought would be a fruitless effort, she requested her original birth certificate from the Minnesota Department of Health Vital Records.


I had submitted an affidavit of disclosure to the Minnesota Department of Health Vital Records when she turned 18, giving my permission to turn over a copy of her original birth certificate if she requested it. I wasn’t ashamed, and I didn’t want to hide from her. In fact, I had told my family about her years ago — including my husband and son.

When she received her original birth certificate, our reunion began. With that phone call. We talked for hours and she thanked me for giving her life. I thanked her for finally giving me peace of mind. My prayers and questions were answered. She’s fine. She had been raised by loving adoptive parents. She’s had a good life so far.

Neither of us knew what would happen next. We just kept talking on the phone, since I was no longer in Minnesota, where she lives. Sharing my family and medical history gave her a better sense of herself and what to expect as she ages. While her identity comes in part from the nurturing of her adoptive family, it is also partly formed by her biological roots.

It may seem like a small thing, but she and I have the same laugh. Now she knows where that comes from.

Two years later, we still talk on the phone, and we’ve met in person several times. She’s met members of her extended family of origin and I’ve met members of her adoptive family. Best of all, she and my son — her biological brother — have grown close.


I’ve been watching as states around the country have opened birth records to all adult adoptees or are considering doing so. Minnesota is one of those states, and it’s the right thing to do. A bill, HF 2247/SF 2132, should be considered and passed this legislative session. It has broad support — birth parents, adoptive parents, adult adoptees, adoption reform advocates, social-service agencies and many lawmakers. It thoughtfully considers the needs of both adult adoptees and birth parents who don’t want contact.

Please, Minnesota: Pass this legislation on behalf of all the adoptees who want to know who they are, and for the birth parents who gave them life. It’s time.



Gloria C. Vee lives in Mesa, Ariz. This article is also submitted on behalf of her birth daughter, Stephanie L. Haugan of St. Paul.




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I waited 49 years for that phone call. The one I got in 2014 from the daughter I had given away for adoption in Minnesota in the mid-1960s.

I had thought of her every day since relinquishing her, hoping she had a good life. I wondered who adopted her. Was she treated well? Was she healthy and happy? Did she have a family of her own now? What was she like? Was she looking for me?


It was especially hard at Christmas when I gave my annual donation to the local orphanage. I prayed she had been placed in a good home and hadn’t grown up all alone.

I couldn’t just move on, forget about her and get on with my life — as the social workers told me to do after giving birth when I was 20. She was part of me. My flesh and blood. I wanted so much to keep her, but I didn’t have the means to care for her on my own. I knew I’d done the right thing for her, but it still weighed on me all these years.

Since I hadn’t heard from her, I thought maybe she didn’t know she was adopted. Turns out, she did know and she had thought about searching for me for a long time. She wanted to know where she came from — something children raised by their biological parents just know. While she had a great adoptive family, she felt there were parts of her that were different from them — puzzle pieces of her identity that didn’t quite fit.

So she checked reunion sites online to see if anyone from her birth family was looking for her. She considered working with the social-­service agency that handled her adoption to do a formal search. In what she thought would be a fruitless effort, she requested her original birth certificate from the Minnesota Department of Health Vital Records.


I had submitted an affidavit of disclosure to the Minnesota Department of Health Vital Records when she turned 18, giving my permission to turn over a copy of her original birth certificate if she requested it. I wasn’t ashamed, and I didn’t want to hide from her. In fact, I had told my family about her years ago — including my husband and son.

When she received her original birth certificate, our reunion began. With that phone call. We talked for hours and she thanked me for giving her life. I thanked her for finally giving me peace of mind. My prayers and questions were answered. She’s fine. She had been raised by loving adoptive parents. She’s had a good life so far.

Neither of us knew what would happen next. We just kept talking on the phone, since I was no longer in Minnesota, where she lives. Sharing my family and medical history gave her a better sense of herself and what to expect as she ages. While her identity comes in part from the nurturing of her adoptive family, it is also partly formed by her biological roots.

It may seem like a small thing, but she and I have the same laugh. Now she knows where that comes from.

Two years later, we still talk on the phone, and we’ve met in person several times. She’s met members of her extended family of origin and I’ve met members of her adoptive family. Best of all, she and my son — her biological brother — have grown close.


I’ve been watching as states around the country have opened birth records to all adult adoptees or are considering doing so. Minnesota is one of those states, and it’s the right thing to do. A bill, HF 2247/SF 2132, should be considered and passed this legislative session. It has broad support — birth parents, adoptive parents, adult adoptees, adoption reform advocates, social-service agencies and many lawmakers. It thoughtfully considers the needs of both adult adoptees and birth parents who don’t want contact.

Please, Minnesota: Pass this legislation on behalf of all the adoptees who want to know who they are, and for the birth parents who gave them life. It’s time.



Gloria C. Vee lives in Mesa, Ariz. This article is also submitted on behalf of her birth daughter, Stephanie L. Haugan of St. Paul.






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Gweible44


Mar. 30, 16
7:47 PM





Time for the law to be changed here in MN. I'm an adult adoptee who was given my OBC by my mother who had no problem getting it for me in 1990 when we first met. There should be no privacy issue in regards to birth certificates. There are only names and the hospital you were born at. We deserve the same rights as non-adoptees to have our original birth certificate. This piece of paper helps us identify where we came from; it's part of our history that the current law is making difficult for us adoptees who were born in MN to have. Time to give us adoptees what is rightfully ours - our original birth certificate!


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romany777


Mar. 30, 16
7:15 PM






Once upon a time, a sealed record was indeed a barrier to obtaining the identities of one's parents if the person was adopted.




This is no longer the case as DNA testing at Ancestry.com, FamilyTreeDNA and 23andMe has given people the ultimate key to the identities of their ancestors, including parents and siblings they may not have known before.




Five years ago, you would be "hitting the DNA lottery" to get a single third cousin among your hundreds of matches.  Lately, when someone's results are posted to their account, they are very likely to see much closer relatives - whether they are looking for them or not.




A few days ago on the DNA Detectives FaceBook group, no less than three people reported getting half-sibling matches.  More commonly, people report second cousin matches - which means one of the match's parents is a first cousin of one of the adoptee's parents.




I don't think any state government should be promising eternal anonymity anymore, and certainly not as a specific "contract" with someone requesting "non-disclosure".

The state may well adhere to its part of the contract by keeping the record sealed but that's like locking the front door while ignoring the fact that the side door had been blown off its hinges.



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kristybarzee


Mar. 30, 16
6:12 PM





Thank you so much for writing this article!  I think the records should be opened!  I am adopted and had to pay big money to the adoption agency to contact my birth mother. (And they had a volunteer do all the work)  Both of my birth parents are so glad I reached out to them.  My husband is also adopted and his birth parents were just as happy that he found them as well.  My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are adopted too, and both have reconnected to their biological families as well, with a great response.  That is 4 different adopted children and all the biological families have been glad that we, the adoptees, reached out to them!  I think that is pretty good statistics!  Unless your adopted, you do not understand how it feels to not know where you come from.  It feels like an injustice; like we have less rights than others.  I understand that there are some biological parents who want to remain anonymous.  If the files are opened, then those biological parents that want to remain anonymous, will just have to tell their son or daughter that they are not interested in communication.  Hopefully, at the very least, they will offer them an updated health record.  It would be very painful to hear, but all of us adoptees that have searched and found their parents, have had that same fear: Rejection.  I don't know how I would have handled it if my biological parents said they were not interested.  I would be crushed.  I just had my first Easter with my biological mother's side and it was great!  Got a text from my biological father on Easter, just wishing me a happy holiday and letting me know he loves me.  I have been so blessed!  It really helps that void I had in my heart for so many years, I imagine they feel the same.



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SLH2016


Mar. 29, 16
9:38 AM






@jmhamilton
I am the adoptee referenced in the commentary. Thank you for your very thorough explanation of the history of adoption laws in Minnesota and the need to release original birth records to adult adoptees.
@kaquinrn

I think the stigma and shame back then from families, social service agencies and society at large likely drove those very young women at Booth to say they never wanted to be contacted. As time went on and much of the stigma dissipated, they probably feel differently today. There's a very interesting book entitled The Girls Who Went Away that speaks to all the forces at play and the psychological effects on birth mothers.




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eunilen78


Mar. 28, 16
8:55 AM





Two of my children's birth mothers were in the Home for Unwed Mothers also and they share lots of stories.  When we reunited with them they both said they wanted to find their child but didn't dare upset their lives but reunion hugs and kisses followed.  So what a 16 and 19 year said at the time of relinquishment is not what they feel now.



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kaquinnrn


Mar. 26, 16
8:08 PM





I had a daughter two weeks after my 18th birthday. I gave her up for adoption, as I could not give her the life and care I would want. I placed my name and contact information with the adoption agency, and kept it updated. She contacted me 30-odd years later, and it was wonderful! HOWEVER, I was at the old Salvation Army Booth Home, and there were several women there who DID NOT EVER want to be contacted! I believe their right to privacy needs to be respected, also! Opening up the original birth certificate would be a violation of the privacy they were promised!



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jmhamilton


Mar. 28, 16
11:33 AM






@kaquinnrn




I am sorry to read that Salvation Army's Booth Home may have made promises to the young women in it's care 30 years ago.  This was a matter far beyond it's control n 1986.  Any such promises had no basis in law at the time.  In fact, with respect to the information held by agencies, it directly contradicted the law.  For all but a very small number of women who relinquished their parental rights between 1977 and 1982, Minnesota law has always provided a pathway to the identities of birth parents.

 135,000 people were adopted in Minnesota between 1932 and 2014.  That equates to 270,000 birth parents.  The laws governing adoptees' access to their parents' identifiying information have varied over time.

 In 1917, adoption court records were sealed to the public at large, but left open to all parties to an adoption.  In 1945, as WWII ended, record access was further limited, by requiring a court order permitting an adoptee to access his or her file.  32 years later, in 1977, the Legislature radically changed the rules, retroactively.  It provided for the filing of affidavits of non-disclosure by birth parents.  One such an affdavit was filed, the adoptee had no means of accessing his or her own original birth certificate.  Those adopted whose records were not sealed in this way were subjected to a far more onerous process than had been in effect at the time of their adoptions.  They were (and are) required to pay an adoption agency hundreds and possibly thousands of dollars to search for their birth parents, in order to ask permission to access that information.  If found, birth parents are given the option of filing affidavits of non-disclosure.

 If birth parents are not found, those adopted befor August 1, 1977, may petition the court for an order releasing their information.  (They are not provided a hearing on the request.  The court rules on the basis of the petition and whatever biases the judge may have on the subject.)   Those who were adopted after August 1, 1977, whose parents are not located, are entitled to receive the information contained on their original birth certificates.

 This is the law today, with regard to release of birth certificate information.  However, identifying information held by adoption agencies for adoptions occurring since August 1, 1982, is subject to an entirely different set of rules.  Adults adopted since that date are entitled to the release of their birthparents' identifying information as a matter of law, unless the birth parents have filed affidavits of non-dicslosure.  Even then, adult adoptees are given the right to petition the court for release of that information, with the birth parents being required to prove why the information should remain sealed.

 Approximately 13,500 affidavits have been filed since 1977, in connection with adoptions as far back as the 1930s.  Of these, slightly more than 1300 have been affidavits of non-disclosure.  Of those, more than half were filed in connection with adoption which occurred before the law was enacted.  Another 400+ were filed after 1982.  ONLY 267 WERE FILED BETWEEN1977, AND 1982.  It is these 267 birth parents, and only these birth parents who can claim that the State of Minnesota made any commitment to their anonymity.

 That commitment, if such it was, is legally flawed.  We are all entitled, under our state and federal constitution, to due process of law, otherwise known as the right to notice and an opportunity to be heard on any government action which directly affects our individual interests.  Whether it is a grade school suspension, a parking ticket, or felony charges, we are entitled to an opportunity to make our case.  The law providing for affidavits of non-disclosure violates this right.

 The current bill addresses these inequities in a manner which considers the interests of all concerned.  Existing affidavits of non-disclosure remain in force, subject to the adoptee's right to petition for release of his or her information, under the same procedures already in place for release of agency held information. They may continue to be filed before and after the date the new laws take effect.  All other adult adoptees are given the right already held by every other person born in Minnesota: access to his or her original birth certificate upon request and payment of the standard fee.

 Birth parents who do not wish contact with their offspring are given the option of filing a contact preference form, which state whether they wish to be contacted and, if so, whether directly or through an intermediary.

 It is and always has been misguided to deny adult adoptees the same right the rest of us have.  It is and always has been misguided to deny those subjected to affidavits of non-disclosure an opportunity to be heard on the question.

 It's time we make amends for this mistreatment.




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