Introduction:

Quest for the the Eye is a dungeon crawl RPG. Each player takes the role of a barbarian or ally to barbarians, and this party of adventurers fights and otherwise forces their way through a series of ancient rooms in pursuit of a legendary gemstone known as the Eye.

These rules are written assuming you already know what a dungeon crawl is and how an RPG generally works. What sets this game apart is its tone: where most RPGs attempt to emulate a great of fantasy such as Tolkein or Vance or Howard, this takes its primary inspiration from Jim Theis's "The Eye of Argon". The party will not merely defy death; they will defy logic, grammar, common sense, and narrative consistency. Actions can receive bonuses for being clever and character-appropriate, but the largest bonuses are earned by matching actions to cards specifying linguistic failures and logical fallacies.

The game is intended for 4-6 players, each of whom spends a roughly equal amount of time as GM. (More than 6 should be possible while still using the rules as written; 3 would require some house ruling, and 2 would require an overhaul of the system.) It is intended to be played in one-shots; characters are created at the start of a session and discarded when the dungeon has been completed. A session should take 2-4 hours.



Dungeon preparation:

During the course of the game, the role of GM will shift from player to player as the party advances through the dungeon. Each player is responsible for GM'ing one room, which he or she prepares in advance.
Any room has a chance of being selected as the final room, and so some details must have two versions.
The room must have at least the following features:
- a general size, shape, and appearance
- an entrance
- an exit, to omit if the room is chosen as the final room
- the Eye, to include only if the room is chosen as the final room
- at least two of the following:
-- opportunity for combat
-- opportunity for stealth or athletic challenge
-- opportunity for puzzle-solving or trap-defusing
-- opportunity for dialogue
- a deus ex machina event which will suddenly allow the party to bypass challenges unharmed and easily advance

Prepare a description of the room read to the players when the party first enters, written to the tone and quality standards of The Eye of Argon.

Do not flesh out room features in much detail; players must fill in details to earn bonuses for their descriptions. Do provide enough details to make it clear to players what challenges their characters face, and to suggest actions against those challenges.

The titular Eye should be some sort of crystal or gem, but its origin and details are entirely up to the GM; it may be magical or nonmagical, guarded or unguarded, colorful or vague. Its full name is the Eye of <something>, with the GM deciding the <something>.

The deus ex machina event is present to keep the game from getting "stuck". It will occur only if the players have been occupied by the room for at least 30 minutes, and only after a vote in its favor.

A player may keep their prepared GM information secret from other players before the game. In play, relevant secret information must be passed to the next GM. (For example, if the players unknowingly steal a cursed item which will trigger a challenge later, the next GM must be informed of that later consequence.)

The order for all rooms is selected randomly after character generation and before entering the first room. The GM of the final room is responsible for framing the quest by describing his or her version of the Eye itself to the players; the GM of the first room then describes their descent into the dungeon.

In play, the party will generally advance through the rooms in linear order without turning back until they acquire the Eye. After acquiring the Eye, they leave the dungeon the way they came, with the GM of each room briefly reprising their room and the GM of the first room concluding the adventure.

If during play it does not make sense for consecutive rooms to be directly connected, the GM of the newly entered room should briefly improvise a short, safe transitional passage.


Character generation:

Each player writes two character summaries, without consulting other players. At least one character must be some type of barbarian, and both must be consistent with the conventions of generic fantasy fiction. Magical and nonhuman characters are permissible for the non-barbarian. Races and backgrounds which are found only in a single fictional franchise are not permitted.
A summary contains the following seven blocks, none of which should be more than a few lines:
- Name
- Race and background
- Personal appearance
- Approach to problem solving
- Clothing, armor, and/or implements of defensive magic
- Weapons and/or implements of offensive magic
- Other interesting equipment

Players are then randomly assigned a draft order (or one is randomly chosen to go first and construction proceeds clockwise, if that's easier).
Construction goes around the table seven times. On a draft turn, a player chooses one block, with the following restrictions:
- you can't choose a block you wrote yourself
- you can't choose a block someone else chose
- you must select one block for each of the seven categories, not multiples of the same category
- you can't select multiple blocks from the same player until it's impossible not to (for example, in a 4-player game, your first 3 picks will be from different players)

Players are then free to fill in omitted details, but not to retract anything from their selected blocks. Where drafted selections contradict each other, players should make some token effort to reconcile them. Minor easily-acquired items which are relevant to a character's background may be assumed present during play, even if they are not declared at character generation time.



Character appearance/disappearance:

The party composition will vary from room to room; these variations should be treated as "continuity errors" of the game's narrative.
When a character is in the party, all other characters should act as though the character has been in the party continuously. When a character is not in the party, all other characters should act as though the character never existed. Violating either of these rules results in an automatic partial failure to the next action of the character who violated it.

A character is not in the party if any of the following reasons hold:
- the character belongs to the new room's GM
- the character died in the previous room
- the character was unable to leave the previous room
- the character's player is physically absent when the new room is starting

When a character who was not in the party becomes part of the party again, the character is healthy and fully equipped, and any reasons for the character's absence are forgotten. This means that if your character dies in room 2, the character will be completely missing from room 3 and back in play in room 4 (or for room 5 if you're GM for room 4). This is the game's main mechanic for character resurrection.



Rocks fall, everyone dies:

For most of the game, if a room becomes impossible to complete, for instance due to party death or the collapse of the dungeon, the events of that room never happened. The events of previous rooms happened, but the party did not proceed into the failed room. They instead turned around for the day and rested at a nearby inn or campsite, where they had a premonitory dream warning them of the danger in the next room. Armed with this foreknowledge, they re-enter the dungeon.
The GM of the failed room GMs these events, glossing over details of the other rooms, unless players actively wish to spend more time in one of the earlier rooms. If they do, that room's GM takes over.

In the final room, the dream excuse can only happen once. A second quest-ending disaster in the final room is real and ends the game. Also, if disaster somehow strikes the party on the way back out of the dungeon with the Eye, that is real and ends the game.



Challenges:

Most of the time, the characters are faced with one or more challenges. A challenge can be nearly anything: a group of monsters, a trap, a maze, a single monster, a locked door, a magical curse, a hermit hiding a magical secret, etc.
The GM of a room should introduce at least one challenge when the party enters the room; additional challenges may be introduced over the course of the room. It may be possible for the party to advance from a room without overcoming all of its challenges.
Each challenge has a numeric rating, which is assigned by the GM when the challenge is introduced. This rating may be open or concealed as a matter of GM preference.
On the way into the dungeon, the maximum rating is 4 plus the room number (so 5 in the first room), plus an additional 1 in the final room. Exactly one challenge in each room should have the maximum rating; in the final room, overcoming this maximum-rated challenge should be necessary for claiming the Eye. The number of lesser-rated challenges in a room is at the DM's discretion.
On the way back out of the dungeon with the Eye, only one challenge should occur per room, and the maximum rating is 2 plus the room number; the exit is more a "victory lap" by the successful party than a threat.
There are four ways to overcome a challenge: one overwhelming success, three partial successes by three different characters, five partial successes total, or plot advancement.

OVERWHELMING SUCCESS
If a character attempts an action which narratively has a chance of entirely overcoming the challenge, and the modified action roll is at least 4 more than the challenge rating, then the action succeeds entirely and the challenge is overcome.

PARTIAL SUCCESS
If a character succeeds on an action roll by less than 4, or by 4 or more when the action is not something that narratively has a chance of entirely overcoming the challenge, then the character scores a partial success. On the party's fifth partial success against a challenge, or when a partial success has been achieved by the third character to do so, the challenge is sufficiently neutralized that it can be overcome without any further die rolls.

PLOT ADVANCEMENT
If the players have advanced the narrative in such a way that the challenge no longer poses any logical threat, the GM should consider the challenge overcome without requiring action rolls.

Of course, rules for success would be meaningless without failure. Characters may suffer total or partial failures; three partial failures by the same character against a single challenge are equivalent to a total failure.

TOTAL FAILURE
If a character attempts an action against a challenge and the modified action roll is 4 less than the challenge rating or lower, the character suffers a total failure. If the challenge is something deadly, the character dies; in any event, the character is in some GM-determined way unable to take any further actions against the particular challenge.

PARTIAL FAILURE
If a character attempts an action against a challenge and rolls a double 1 or rolls less than the challenge rating, but not a total failure, the character suffers a partial failure. On the first two partial failures against a challenge, the GM describes some minor negative consequence which does not render the character unable to continue. On the third, the effect is the same as a total failure.



Action rolls:

For a character to take action against a challenge, the following sequence of steps occurs.
1. The player describes the action to be taken.
2. The GM decides how the action applies to a challenge and which bonuses to apply.
3. Cards consumed by the action are discarded.
4. The player may choose an additional card to discard.
5. The player rolls a six-sided die and adds the bonuses, comparing the result to the target value.
6. The GM describes the outcome of the action.
7. New cards are dealt to replenish the card pool.

1. DESCRIPTION
Taking into account the current pool of cards and the character's background, personality, and equipment, the player describes the character's intended action. This description does not have to consist solely of the action itself; the player may embellish room details, digress about the character's state of mind, describe small inconsequential actions of NPCs, and depict the action's intended result. (Such flourishes are important towards accumulating card bonuses.) With another player's consent a described action may involve that player's character, but even so only the active character can be significantly affected by success or failure.

2. GM RULINGS
The GM decides:
- which challenge to apply the action to. If the action has no chance of helping against any challenge, then no action roll is made and no cards are moved. Where multiple challenges apply, the GM can be arbitrary about which to select.
- whether the action has a chance of overwhelming success; that is, whether it would make narrative sense that the action could entirely overcome the challenge on its own if it succeeds.
- which character bonuses apply to the action (see "Character bonuses")
- which card bonuses apply to the action (see "Cards")

3. DISCARD MATCHED CARDS
The GM puts the cards which apply to the action into the discard pile.

4. DISCARD ADDITIONAL CARD
The player may choose one card to put into the discard pile. This card is not counted as a bonus; it just allows the party to selectively skip past cards which do not apply to the situation.

5. DIE ROLL
In general, the player rolls a six-sided die and adds the GM-ruled bonuses to it. If the result is at least the challenge rating, the action succeds; otherwise it fails. Values at least 4 less or 4 more than the challenge rating can have additional consequences (see "OVERWHELMING SUCCESS" and "TOTAL FAILURE" above).
If the die roll is a 1, but the bonus is high enough that the action would succeed anyway, the player rolls a second die. If this is also a 1, the result is a partial failure; if it is anything but a 1, the first roll stands.
If the die roll is a 6, but the target is high enough that the action would fail anyway, the player rolls a second die. If this is also a 6, the result is a partial success; if it is anything but a 6, the first roll stands.

6. OUTCOME
The GM describes the result of the action, incorporating the outcome of the action roll. Specific logical and grammatical fallacies from cards may be incorporated or ignored at the GM's discretion.

7. REPLACE CARDS
The GM deals cards from the deck into the pool, replenishing it to the correct size for the room (room number plus 3, plus an additional 2 for the final room.) Whenever the deck is empty, the GM shuffles the discard pile into it.



Character bonuses:

Players do not declare that they are trying for a character bonus. If a player does declare it, the bonus is not awarded.
If the GM considers an action to openly contradict a character's background or equipment, and this contradiction is not earning a card bonus, then a -2 penalty applies. (The net "bonus" may thus in rare cases become a negative number.)
If the GM considers an action to be an appropriate application of a character's background or problem-solving style, a +1 bonus applies.
If an action involves the use of equipment which was in the character's starting summary or explicitly collected at an earlier point in the quest, and the GM considers the equipment to be correctly used and relevant to the action, a +1 bonus applies. This bonus also applies for incorrectly used equipment from the character's summary if the incorrectness of the usage is earning a card bonus.
If a player unexpectedly comes up with an action that the GM feels would be unusually effective for the specific situation, a +1 bonus applies. (e.g. finding a plausible way to use a room feature to attack a guarded weak point)
Multiples of the same bonus are not awarded; for instance, using 3 pieces of equipment is still just a +1.
It is not the GM's responsibility to otherwise assess situational bonuses and penalties. The main focus of the game should be on card bonuses, not character bonuses.


Cards:

When the party enters a room, the new GM shuffles all cards together and deals cards face-up to form the card pool. The number of cards in the pool is 3 plus the room number (so 4 in the first room), plus an additional 2 in the final room.
Each card denotes some quirk of prose or error of logic; action descriptions which match cards, in the GM's opinion, get a bonus of +1 per card matched.
Players do not declare that they are trying for a card bonus. If a player does declare it, the bonus is not awarded.
When a card calls for a character to perform an impossible or out of character action, the GM is to permit that action without penalty. At the GM's discretion, repeating the action may or may not remain possible for the rest of the room.
Some cards occur twice in the deck. If both copies are in the pool, an action can count both of them if it has multiple distinct counts of the specified offense; if there is only one count, only one copy of the card is matched.
A single word or phrase can match multiple different cards (the "TYPO" card is especially prone to this).


GM actions:

For the most part, the players drive the pace of a scene, and the GM has things happen to the characters when resolving the players' action rolls.
However, the GM can initiate actions taken by NPCs or traps against player characters, or even actions taken by player characters if some supernatural force is attempting to compel them. The GM does not roll for these actions or use cards. The GM describes an action up to the moment when a character has an opportunity to react in some way, and the character's player then describes that reaction using the same rules as a player-initiated action. If the player's chosen reaction is not an attempt to address the threat, the GM assesses an automatic partial failure instead of rolling. A GM action can only require a reaction from, or assign a failure to, one character at a time. A reaction's failure or success counts against a challenge in the same way as a successful player-initiated action.
After the reaction to a GM-initiated action resolves, the players can make at least two actions of their choice (two total, not necessarily two per player) before the GM is permitted to initiate another. This grace period does not carry between rooms; when entering a room the incoming GM can always initiate an action.



Player order:

In general, players should be polite about action priority, allowing everyone a reasonable amount of time to consider the card pool and situation and letting everyone have chances to act.
The first player to think of an action should be allowed to make it, except that the same player does not act twice in a row unless all other players who could act elect to allow it.
If a majority of the players of present characters prefer not to leave player action order freeform, a set rotation may be voted in for the duration of the room. The GM does not participate in this vote. Order becomes freeform again when the room (and thus the player lineup) changes.



Deus ex machina voting:

If the same player has been GM for 30 minutes or more, a simple majority of the players of present characters may vote to advance via deus ex machina. The GM must quickly wrap up the room without further action rolls or complications and allow the party into the next room, or allow the party to claim the Eye and retreat from the room if it is the final room.



Play example:

The GM announces to the 4 active players: "You enter a large pillared hall. The floor, walls, and ceiling are lined with white marbles. You discern a dark alcove on the far side of the hall leading downward and deeper. Amidst the room strides a fetid rhinoceros, no doubt the abandoned familiar of some wizard or warlocker. It has not yet seen you, and the pillars are broad enough that it might be possible to sneak past... on the other hand, slaying such a beast would be a deed worth recounting."

This is the second room and the rhinoceros is the only challenge, so it has a challenge rating of 4+2=6; the GM chooses not to announce this out loud.

The GM deals cards; since it's the second room, the number of cards is 3+2=5. NUMBER MISMATCH, ACADEMIC ASIDE, ARCHITECTURAL PROSE, FOR DECORATIVE USE ONLY, and SLASHING RAPIER form the initial card pool for the room.

Jokfolth, a swarthy barbarian with an oaken maple club whose problem-solving style is "blows to the head", declares "The rhinoceros are the only animal not afraid of its own shadows... but they still must fear my club! I charge, swinging for its mighty skull."

The GM counts out bonuses: +1 for problem-solving style, +1 for equipment, +1 for NUMBER MISMATCH ("rhinoceros are" etc.), and +1 for ACADEMIC ASIDE, then moves those cards to the discard pile.

Jokfolth can move one additional card to the discard pile: he moves ARCHITECTURAL PROSE, as the card is only usable when a surface has no unusual features and the white marbles rule it out.

Jokfolth rolls the die: a 3. He adds his +4 of bonuses for 7.

The roll is at least the target of 6, but does not exceed it by 4; a partial success. The GM declares "Your blow snaps off a tusk from the mighty beast. It has now been alerted to your group's presence; stealth is impossible."

The GM deals three new cards to replace the discarded ones: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, MAGICAL ASSPULL, and PLEONASTIC ADJECTIVE. The pool still also contains FOR DECORATIVE USE ONLY and SLASHING RAPIER.

Grogwart, a mighty-thewed barbarian whose problem-solving style is "emulate the ways of the wild wolf", declares "I howl sensuously and charge into the battle on all fours. The ghostly specter of a wolf materializes to aid me, stabbing the rhino's tough hide with a sideways swipe of its claws."

The GM counts out bonuses: +1 for problem-solving style, +1 for MAGICAL ASSPULL (the specter having never been mentioned before), +1 for THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID ("howl sensuously"), +1 for PLEONASTIC ADJECTIVE ("ghostly specter"), and +1 for SLASHING RAPIER (stabbing with a swiped claw).

The GM discards those cards. Grogwart can move one additional card to the discard pile; the only card left in the pool is FOR DECORATIVE USE ONLY, which he judges as a reasonable card to keep on the table rather than discarding it.

Grogwart rolls the die: a 2. He adds his +5 of bonuses for 7.

Again, a partial success. The GM declares "The ghostly wound drains the rhinoceros of its vitality. Its eyes grow dimmer and its movements slow, but it is not yet defeated."

The GM replaces the four discarded cards: PLEONASTIC PHRASE, "MAY" CURSE, INCORRECT ADJECTIVE, and UNNECESSARY KENNING. FOR DECORATIVE USE ONLY also remains in the pool.

Vizzbinn, an eldritch wizardling with a crystalline staff whose problem-solving style is "fire; if it's immune to fire, try ice" announces his attack. "Leveling my oblong staff at the horned monstrosity of bulk, I shriek 'May the fires of Kakrafelt engulf your mortal form!' causing a hurricane of fire to arise centered on the beast, flames swirling around it."

The GM counts bonuses: +1 for style, +1 for equipment, +1 for INCORRECT ADJECTIVE ("oblong"), +1 for UNNECESSARY KENNING ("the horned monstrosity of bulk"), +1 for "MAY" CURSE, and +1 for PLEONASTIC PHRASE ("hurricane of fire", "flames swirling")

The GM moves those four cards to the pile, leaving FOR DECORATIVE USE ONLY. Vizzbinn decides to discard that one too.

Vizzbinn rolls the die: a 1. He adds his +6 bonus for 7. The GM instructs him to roll another die; the 7 would be a success, but the chance of a double 1 still exists. He rolls again and, unluckily, turns up another 1.

A partial failure. The GM announces "Although your flames are mighty, the rhino's hide barely notices them. It charges out from the circle of flame, dissipating it."

With all cards discarded, the GM replaces the entire pool: TYPO, SPECIFY GIBS, HAVING IT BOTH WAYS, INCORRECT VERB, and NEOLOGISTIC ADVERB.

The GM decides to initiate the next action, to force a reaction from the only player to not yet act. "The rhino rears up and whinnies, then crashes directly through a pillar to charge at Bjob, faster and deadlier than a mid-sized dragon."

Bjob, a stout dwarf with an enormous axe and a background of alcoholism, must now act or suffer an automatic failure. The players politely wait a few moments for him to compose his prose.

Bjob announces: "Gripping my axe in both hands and my flask in my left, I craunchingly swig the axe in the rhino's face."

Bjob was not declared as owning a flask, but it is a minor item consistent with his background; the GM does not penalize its presence. Since it wasn't in the explicit starting equipment or found in the dungeon, it can't be eligible for an equipment bonus.

The GM counts bonuses: +1 for equipment (the axe, that is), +1 for background (holding the flask), +1 for TYPO ("swig"), +1 for INCORRECT VERB (also "swig"), and +1 for NEOLOGISTIC ADVERB ("craunchingly").

The GM realizes Bjob was also probably trying for "HAVING IT BOTH WAYS" with his overuse of hands, but the GM can imagine the dwarf awkwardly holding the axe and flask simultaneously so does not count it as a contradiciton.

Bjob rolls: a 3. With +5 of bonuses, an 8.

Success! Three different characters have now scored a partial success. The GM wraps up the battle: "You craunch the rhinoceros from stem to stern, littering the marbles of the floor with crimson entrails. Nothing now stands between you and the far alcove."

The GM replenishes the pool of cards; there are no challenges left to be faced, but the party doesn't know this for sure.

Vizzbinn says "I take some marbles off the wall." There being no reason to disallow this, the GM confirms "Ok, you pry about a dozen loose white marbles off and pocket them."

The adventurers proceed to the alcove. When they enter, the role of GM shifts: Grogwart happens to be the next room's GM, and the current GM will be taking the role of Brestilda, a bar wench with a checkered barbarian past.



Appendix A - List of cards

TENSE MISMATCH: Inappropriately combine verb tenses (past/present/future). "The weather beaten trail wound ahead into the dust racked climes of the baren land which dominates large portions of the Norgolian empire."
2x INCORRECT VERB: Use an English verb incorrectly. "A sweeping blade of flashing steel riveted from the massive barbarians hide enameled shield ..."
TERRIBLE GEOGRAPHIC TERM: Invent a poor name for a place or a people. "... bringing a heavy cloud over the Ecordian’s misting brain."
OMITTED VERB: Leave a grammatically required verb out of a sentence entirely. "A gasping gurgle from the soldier’s writhing mouth as he tumbled to the golden sand at his feet, and wormed agonizingly in his death bed."
INCORRECT ADVERB: Use an English adverb incorrectly. "Grignr’s emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier ..."
2x INCORRECT ADJECTIVE: Use an English adjective incorrectly. "... her stringy orchid twines of hair swaying gracefully over the lithe opaque nose ..."
UNNECESSARY KENNING: Needlessly refer to a thing or event by a cliched multi-word synonym. "A faint glimmer sparked from the pair of deep blue ovals of the amorous female  ..."
PERIOD DIALECT: Use an archaic English pronoun or verb inflection, correctly or incorrectly. "Thou hast need to occupy your time, barbarian"
2x PLEONASTIC ADJECTIVE: Use an adjective which is redundant with the noun it modifies. "... the stone masonry of the floor ..."
OVERLY MODIFIED SENTENCE: Modify five or more words in a single sentence with adjectives and/or adverbs. "The staggering soldier clumsily reached towards the pommel of his dangling sword, but before his hands ever touched the oaken hilt a silvered flash was slicing the heavy air."
2x TYPO: Use an inappropriate but real English word which is off by one letter from an appropriate one. "... to yield to the superior force in hopes of a moment of carlessness later upon the part of his captors ..."
GENDER CONFUSION: Use a word with gendered denotation or connotation for the incorrect gender. "The slut should have picked his quarry more carefully!"
TERRIBLE MYTHOLOGICAL TERM: Invent a terrible name for a god or mythic being. "By the surly beard of Mrifk, Grignr kneels to no man!"
OMITTED SUBJECT: Leave the grammatically required subject of a sentence out of the sentence. "'Before me, sirrah! Before me as always! Ha, Ha Ha, Haaaa...', nobly cackled."
CRAYOLA THESAURUS: Use three or more synonyms for the same color or shade. "the stygian cloud of charcoal ebony"
FATE WORSE THAN DEATH: Describe something as a fate worse than death. "Upon hearing this, Grignr realized that his fate would be far less merciful than death to one such as he, who is used to roaming the countryside at will."
PRURIENCE: Bring sex into a description which was doing fine without it. "To be forever refused further glimpses of the snow capped summits of the land of his birth, never again to witness the thrill of plundering unexplored lands beyond the crest of a bleeding horizon, and perhaps worst of all the denial to ever again encompass the lustful excitement of caressing the naked curves of the body of a trim yound wench."
FOR DECORATIVE USE ONLY: Describe an object as being designed in a way that would make it useless for its actual purpose. "... silver meshed chalices ..."
2x HAVING IT BOTH WAYS: Contradict yourself within a single sentence. "Cushioning their bare feet were plush red felt slippers ..."
ACADEMIC ASIDE: State an abstract, detached generalization (which may or may not make sense). "However, when the actions of the body are restricted its needs are also affected."
GET NUMERIC: Use at least three numbers to describe something that does not require any numbers to adequately describe. "... when free and active Grignr may become hungry every six hours and witness the desire for sleep every fifteen hours, whereas in his present condition he may encounter the need for food every ten hours, and the want for rest every twenty hours ..."
ANATOMY TEXT: Refer to an overly specific anatomical detail (which may or may not be correct). "Grignr grappled with the lashing flexor muscles of the repugnant body of a garganuan brownhided rat"
DIFFERENT WORDS JUST BECAUSE: Refer to two entities by different synonyms or euphemisms, when the same word could have been correctly used for both. "... its beady grey organs of sight glazed into the flaring emeralds of its prey."
SPECIFY GIBS: Make a list out of gore, with at least four elements. "... a slimy string of disjointed vertebrae, snapped trachea, esophagus, and jugular, disjointed hyoid bone, morose purpled stretched hide, and blood seared muscles."
BLOODY DETAILS: Devote a compound sentence of two or more clauses to blood. "Grignr shook his blood streaked hands and wiped them against his thigh until dry, then wiped the blood that had showered his face and from his eyes."
FORCED EXCITEMENT: Use a verb which indicates sudden intense action, for an action which is neither. "The girl burst into a slow steady whimper ..."
WHAT YOU HAD FOR BREAKFAST: Mention the color of vomit. "... causing her to wrench her head backwards and regurgitate a slimy, orangewhite stream of swelling gore ..."
INCORRECT PREPOSITION: Use an English preposition incorrectly. "... he removed his callous paws from the girl's arms and replaced them with tightly around her undulating neck ..."
LOW BLOW: Have your own character attack genitals. "... lodging her sandled foot squarely between the shaman's testicles ..."
ANATOMICALLY INACCURATE SYNONYM: Refer to a body part by a biologically inaccurate term. "His hands reached out clutching his urinary gland ..."
ARCHITECTURAL PROSE: Describe a floor, wall, or ceiling which has no unusual features in ten words or more. "... the hand hewn granite laid pavement, worn smooth by countless hours of arduous sweat and toil ..."
CLOTHIER'S PARADOX: Refer to a piece of clothing or armor as being of a specific kind, but also refer to some property of it that contradicts that kind. "... beneath the folds of the g-string wrapped about his waist ..."
MUSEUM ARMOR: Use an obscure, specific term for a piece of armor (correctly or incorrectly). "Resting upon the manes of their heads, and reaching midway to their brows were smooth copper morions."
GOLD THINGS ARE BETTER: Use a soft precious metal for a function where a harder more common metal would be superior. "Spiraling the lower portion of the helmet were short, up-curved silver spikes, while a golden hump spired from the top of each basinet."
ALLITERATION: Begin four or more words in close proximity with the same consonant sound, including three consecutive words. "severing several scarlet locks from his scalp"
2x THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID: Use a word which tends to invite innuendo, without following through on any innuendo. "Ejaculating a curse through rasping teeth ..."
ADJECTIVE-ED NOUN: Add an "-ed" suffix to an adjective which would have been correct without one. "... spilling a pool of crimsoned entrails ..."
WORD ELONGERATION: Incorrectly add a syllable to a word which was already at least three syllables. "... lighting his way with the confisticated torch of his dispatched guardian ..."
ANIMAL METAPHOR: Metaphorically describe your character as an animal. "In grim silence Grignr treaded down the dingily lit corridor; a stalking panther creeping warily along on padded feet."
NEOLOGISTIC VERB: Coin a new verb. "Grignr appilevered the oaken haft, employing it as a lever whereby to pry open the barrier."
NEOLOGISTIC ADVERB: Coin a new adverb. "... the wench stated whimsicoracally."
NEOLOGISTIC ADJECTIVE: Coin a new adjective. "They slew the guard placed over me and abducted me to the chamber in which you chanced to come upon the scozsctic sacrifice."
"IT"?: Use a pronoun in a way that makes no sense with what should be its antecedent. "Their hell-spawned cult demands a sacrifice once every three moons upon its full journey through the heavens."
"MAY" CURSE: Use a curse starting with the word "may". "May the demons of Hell's deepest haunts claw away at his wretched flesh for this merciless act!"
INCORRECT NOUN: Use an English noun incorrectly. "A coral stood before the pair, enclosing two grazing mares."
VOCABULARY TEST: Cause the GM to use a dictionary.
THE FUTILITY OF LANGUAGE: Use two or more synonyms for "indescribable" in a description.
SLASHING RAPIER: Describe a thrusting as being used for slicing, or vice versa.
RHYME: Rhyme.
THE MOST SUBJECTIVE CARD: Cause the GM to laugh or wince.
NUMBER MISMATCH: Mix singular and plural forms incorrectly.
MAGICAL ASSPULL: Use a supernatural power or item which your character has no prior reason to possess.
2x PLEONASTIC PHRASE: Use a phrase which is redundant with another phrase in the same sentence.



Appendix B - room content ideas

These are provided solely as a general guide for GMs in need of one. As an aid for uncreative GMs, they are numbered to allow selection by die rolls. Please ignore any die rolls here you dislike; this appendix is for inspirational purposes and has no rules associated with it.
If including things that wouldn't naturally belong, try to give them some token excuse for being there.

B1 - general type of room
1. natural cavern
2. mine
3. ancient construction, buried by time
4. recent underground construction
5. animal-dug
6. tomb

B2 - opponents for combat or stealth (for some, also dialogue)
1. undead
1.1 skeleton
1.2 zombie
1.3 ghost
1.4 vampire
1.5 mummy
1.6 undead animal
2. human
2.1 cultist
2.2 royal soldier
2.3 bounty hunter
2.4 wizard
2.5 tomb raider
2.6 assassin
3. mythic non-humanoid
3.1 dragon
3.2 manticore
3.3 hydra
3.4 sphinx
3.5 kraken
3.6 unicorn
4. animal
4.1 reptile (e.g. snake)
4.2 rodent (e.g. rat)
4.3 arthropod (e.g. spider)
4.4 invertebrate (e.g. leech)
4.5 canine (e.g. wolf)
4.6 feline (e.g. lion)
5. mythic humanoid
5.1 werewolf
5.2 dwarf
5.3 fairy
5.4 golem
5.5 giant
5.6 demigod
6. amorphous
6.1 moist blob
6.2 shapeshifter
6.3 living gas
6.4 living fire
6.5 intelligent cloud of vermin
6.6 living body of water

B3 - traps and athletic challenges
1. deadly chasm
1.1 no bridge, but chasm is narrow enough to improvise
1.2 narrow bridge
1.3 bridge with missing sections
1.4 decaying bridge
1.5 swaying bridge
1.6 magically appearing and disappearing bridge
2. trap wall, floor, or ceiling
2.1 moves to crush
2.2 fires projectiles
2.3 blade swings out
2.4 collapses
2.5 electrified or contact-poisonous
2.6 false panel hiding a monster
3. climb
3.1 artifically smoothed rock
3.2 natural rock
3.3 masonry
3.4 tree or other large, solid flora
3.5 rope or vine
3.6 ladder
4. environmental hazard
4.1 toxic gas
4.2 lava
4.3 freezing temperature
4.4 quicksand
4.5 acid
4.6 jagged ground
5. water
5.1 room starts filling with water
5.2 exit is underwater
5.3 fast-flowing river to cross
5.4 room is initially flooded, with a drainage mechanism
5.5 exit is behind a waterfall
5.6 magically breathable water
6. magical effect (something specific should emanate it)
6.1 darkness
6.2 artificial hostility amongst party
6.3 silence
6.4 dizziness
6.5 confusion
6.6 change of gravity

B4 - scenery items
1. statue
1.1 ruler
1.2 deity
1.3 erotic imagery
1.4 animal
1.5 monster
1.6 bizarre creation of a mad sculptor
2. signs of past habitation
2.1 inactive firepit
2.2 shrine
2.3 grave
2.4 furniture
2.5 clothing
2.6 journal
3. view obstructions/hiding places
3.1 tapestry
3.2 alcoves
3.3 winding corridor
3.4 scattered boulders
3.5 pillars
3.6 furrowed ground
4. light source
4.1 torch
4.2 lantern
4.3 active firepit
4.4 magically glowing object
4.5 phosphorescent flora
4.6 sunlight
5. talkative NPC
5.1 captive
5.2 dying adventurer
5.3 hermit
5.4 friendly monster
5.5 cryptically helpful wizard
5.6 defector from an enemy force
6. obligatory
6.1 torture chamber
6.2 sacrificial altar
6.3 portal to Hell
6.4 ancient science-fiction technology
6.5 vault of gold
6.6 gazebo