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- [quote][i]The ad opens to thunderous applause. Text shows that the date is 2022, and the place is the Acme Mining Co. headquarters. A crowd of people dressed in miner gear applaud as a man in a suit walks speaks at a podium under a spotlight. Behind him are two men carrying something on a dolly under a tarp. He seems to be mid speech.[/i]
- SUIT: ...with the repeal of the PECA and MAGA Acts spearheaded by Senator Clark and the Allen Administration, Acme has been pursuing exciting new opportunities for the coal industry and West Virginia. And it's all thanks to our newest invention.
- [i]The tarp is removed to reveal a spider-like contraption with sharp picks on mechanical arms.[/i]
- SUIT: We've built robots to build cars. We've built robots to take your order. We've even built robots to fight wars. This is the next step for the coal industry. If all goes according to plan We'll be able to phase out human miners entirely by 2024.
- [i]The room has gone silent. The SUIT, oblivious to the worry of the miners, smiles. The shot turns to a miner standing up. The SUIT points to him.[/i]
- MINER 1: So wait. We're going to be retrained for new positions, right?
- SUIT: Uh no sir. That program was provided by PECA. It wouldn't be profitable to train you to get new jobs for a different company.
- [i]Another miner - a woman - stands.[/i]
- MINER 2: Well you can find us jobs in the company watching the robots right?
- SUIT: Actually without the MAGA bill, it's a lot cheaper to hire an office in China to monitor the drones. The internet is pretty incredible.
- [i]A third miner stands up.[/i]
- MINER 3: You'll be investing in our towns so we can bring new jobs and alternative energy to keep us working, right?
- SUIT: I mean maybe someone will. But those funds were a part of PECA. They were redirected to pay for tax credits that let us build these things. Its almost like you paid for them with your taxes, isn't it?
- [i]One last miner stands up. He's an old man.[/i]
- MINER 4: So what the heck do we do now?
- SUIT: Without PECA, that's not really the company's problem, now is it?
- [i]There are several shots of stunned coal miners as the screen goes black with the standard legal jargon.[/i][/quote]
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