Hey I got another wall of text for you since I know how much you love them and I didn't really sleep so here it goes-
I'm not sure I should have be honest with you about I feel sometimes since I it's really not fair to you. I'm not trying to back you into a corner where you never want to say you'll do something with me since you know how I could react or you feel forced into doing stuff for the same reason. I know you have more important things/people to deal with sometimes and that you can't just be at my beck and call every time I feel a little sad so I hope I'm not ruining our relationship when I do shit like that. I know it's also probably exhausting hearing the same stuff over and over again from me when it seems like I don't really want to help myself. I am trying though, probably not as much as I could/should be but I've been getting outside everyday and really pushing myself to not eat junk (even if that just means I eat less it's a start I think). Like I've been saying, it just hard to do stuff for future me since it doesn't really seem to helping current me all that much. I've really been trying to find some to occupy my brain/makes me feel a bit better that isn't tft, talking with you or drinking but so far there really isn't much and I'm not sure what to do. I really do think I need to find something that will stop me from falling further into the hole everyday and just stop me at least before I can start to work on things to get me out of the hole if that makes sense. I also feel like so much of what I do (or don't do) and say is to push people away and I just don't really know why. So sorry again, let me know what you think of all this nonsense when you get the chance  and please be honest. I'll probably be hiding offline but I might go see another movie

Lys08/17/2019
If you keep telling yourself that you're not a strong person, there's no way for you to be a strong person. Saying that gives you an excuse. "Oh yeah well I can't/won't do this just because I'm not strong enough." You are strong enough, you're as strong as you make yourself.  People are flexible, we're not born with a certain amount of innate mental strength. We build that ourselves.

Stop thinking about it as I have "more important" things. I have things to do. You're also important. I will get everything done, and I will talk and help you as much as I can because I care.

I don't find listening exhausting, I find my inability to help frustrating. I try as much as I can, but I'm not a trained professional, which is why it will probably be good to have my dad coach me a bit in how I can help.

I'm really glad that you're putting in that effort to help yourself. You just need to keep at it and keep pushing yourself and at some point you'll hit a breakthrough where you realize it's working and you're helping yourself. The junk food is important to get rid of. The exercising is important to keep up. Even focusing on small goals like that will  help a lot in the long run. Even telling yourself to make your bed in the morning every day and then actually doing it, will help.
Distractions are nice and very good/helpful, but you don't want to over distract to the point where you're not being productive in moving yourself forward.

You push people away probably several reasons. Because you have so much self-doubt and you're always questioning what you mean to other people, you like the affirmation when they push back and make sure to keep themselves in your life. And then on top of that, you feel guilty for doing it, and therefore also feel guilty and then proceed to not feel like you deserve them and their help. It's a catch 22. I don't find it annoying, and it isn't going to stop me from wanting to help, but it's definitely not healthy for you. I would guess that it puts you in a decent amount of insecurity and stress to be continuously going through that cycle.