Mad World

Hey, darling

*kiss*

I missed you.

*sigh* Ten hours is way too long for you to be at the office. Especially when I haven't been able to get you out of my mind all day.

*kiss*

Shh...no apologizing for that. I know that it needs to be done. And I would never ask you to stop working unless you wanted to.

*laugh* I guess I just like to complain sometimes is all. It's just so hard for me to tear myself away from you.

But I know I that you work hard and I'm proud of you.

Now, come here and let me rub your shoulders.

(pause)

Mhmm, there we go. Just try to relax.

Come on, take a deep breath. For me, please?

*deep breath*

Mhhhmmm.

Good, that helped a little. You're still really tense though. I hope work wasn't too rough today.

(pause)

*angry sigh*

(angry) They were ignoring you again? I swear to-they don't even think about how rude it is. I have half mind to--

(concerned) Wait, are you okay with me getting angry on your behalf or did you want to rant yourself?

What? No, don't worry. I'm not going to offer solutions. That's why I never listed it as an option.

*kiss*

Because one, I know that solutions aren't what you want to hear right now. And two, me offering solutions would imply that *I* think I know more about the situation than you do....which I don't.

I do know that structural discrimination is often unfixable at the mirco-level though. And therefore, sometimes ranting is actually *much* more productive than problem solving.

*laugh* So, do you want me to get angry or not?

Excellent!

Okay, so your colleagues act like 12 years olds who think that they'll get cooties if they touch you. Seriously, no grown ass man should be that afraid of vaginas. How hard can it possibly be for them to have a basic conversation with you about the very thing that you all work on?

Yeah, I know that they don't realize that they exclude you. But, honestly, that just makes the problem worst. They don't even see the fact they don't talk to you as a problem. They don't ever stop to think "gee, it must be hard for her being the only woman in this office. I wonder if she minds being excluded from every major decision our department has made".

And no, it's not on you to self-advocate when everybody else in your work place seems to lack basic human empathy. I know that if the roles were reverse, you'd notice and try to include people. It's not too much to ask for them to do the same thing.

Besides, I know that if you bring it then they'll just assume that you're overly sensitive and dismiss whatever you say. Or, worst, they think that you're on period.

And, of course, if you tell them that it's sexist to make assumptions like that. They'll again attribute your justified anger to you being on your period. Isn't is *wonderful* how the whole fucking system only serves to silence you while further reinforcing their mistaken ideologies?

And isn't fucking fantastic that they are all completely unaware that you even experience this? Or any of other problems you face from working in a male dominated field?

You've had to dealt so many menos that outlined the dress code exclusively men's clothing. You've had so many supervisors treat you like a silly little girl who didn't know what she was doing-even though you have three freaking advanced degrees.

You still have to walk across the hall to use the bathroom three times a day because somehow your department doesn't have a woman's bathroom. In 20 fucking 20.

*sigh* I'm amazed that you're even able to put up with it all. I know that I couldn't.

*kiss*

Yeah, I know how strong you are. But it's not right for you to have to go through all of this. I just wish that there was more than I could do.

*sigh* Yeah, I know that I listen. But that never seems like enough.

I kind of just want to burn your entire building down.

Oh, don't give that look. I know that you've thought about it too.

And I promise I won't actually do it. Even thought it is tempting. I'm not going to lie.

Besides, I have other options....

How about....I march down your office and scream at everybody for being dicks?

No? Too extreme?

Honestly, it's not. But I doubt that they would listen anyway.

Let's see....

Hmm....what if I only torched *part* of the building?

What? Yeah, it's arson! But it's justified arson!

Alright. Alright. Fine. I'll be good.

I won't threaten your employer.

(softly) Even though they deserve it.

What? You think so too.

And you've had a hard week at work. So, if you won't let me commit a federal crime, at least let me spoil you for a bit.

*kiss*

Because you deserve it.

*kiss*

And because you're worth it.

*sigh*

So, just lay back and rest your head against me.

Put that uphill battle that you're fighting out of your head.

With me, everything can be easy and safe....

*kiss*

And fun.

*kiss*

How does that sound? Do you want to relax with me tonight?

*sigh*

Hmmm, good.