Manonymous Part 4: Anon VS Everfree

>Apparently the Mane 6 were livid when they regained consciousness
>But when Twilight explained what you had told here, they seemed a lot more forgiving
>Rainbow Dash said it was cool since you were pretty much the second coolest person in town (next to her of course)
>Applejack finally roped you (figuratively) into showing up next Monday to help her buck in exchange for forgiveness
>Rarity made you promise to do some one-on-one drawings with her before she would continue work on your clothes, the blackmailer
>Pinkie Pie... Well, her visit was a little odd
>She forgave you when she heard you had a good reason, but she just kept on punching the air and scratching her chin
>With a sigh, you ask the inevitable
"Alright Pinkie, you've been doing that shadow-boxing every time I've seen you since I fought Shining Armour. What are you doing."
>She stops and looks at you quizzically.
>"Is it really fun?"
"Is what fun?"
>"Beating each other up. Is it really that fun?"
>Oh, of course! The crazy pony is all about parties and fun. But the thrill of fighting is probably a bit out of her understanding.
>"Cause you and Shining Armour were both grinning like crazy when you were hitting each other, but all you were doing was both getting hurt. How in the name of skitterball is that supposed to be fun?"
>You're not entirely sure what a skitterball is, so you ignore it, sigh and try to explain as best you can.
"It's hard to explain Pinkie. You need to have been born or learned to have a love of battle in order to truly understand it."
>She leans over the counter, frowning as she listens.
"It's not about hurting or getting hurt. It's about enduring the hurt you recieve. Trying to get into your opponents mind and figure out what they're thinking. It's about testing the strength of your mind, body and spirit. Knowing that you are up against someone equally as strong as you are, somebody with different weapons and tactics and trying to defeat them with a combination of strength, speed, stamina and skill."
>Just from speaking you feel your heartrate increase. Your muscles tense in anticipation as you remember some of your past battles, and you clench your fists in fond memory.
"I love fighting Pinkie. I love standing before a powerful opponent. I love trading attacks, dodging and weaving and blocking and countering. I love the clash of bone and sinew. I love the understanding you gain of your opponents way of thinking as you battle. And I love the feeling of absolute triumph, when you stand tall over your defeated opponent and know that you are the stronger, and you have earned that victory!"
>You relax and unclench, smiling at the enraptured pink puffball. Her eyes are wide and shining with awe. Apparently your enthusiasm is infectious.
"That's why fighting is fun. Do you understand now Pinkie?"
>You smile at her, and she regains her big grin and starts bouncing up and down.
>"I have absolutely no idea what you were just talking about! That didn't make any sense to me at all!"
>Groan.
"That's okay Pinkie. Not everybody understands why I do what I do."
>"Ooh, I know exactly what you mean THAT time! Nopony understands why I do anything!"
>And then she disappeared behind a tree and popped out wear a pair of Groucho Marx glasses while riding a unicycle away from you.
"What."
>Fluttershy... Was a lot more difficult than the rest of her friends.
>She ran and hid at the first sight of you, and then a bear jumped you when you tried knocking on her door
>Okay, so you may have accidentally knocked it off its hinges, but you wanted to make sure she heard you! How were you supposed to know that pony doors were made of such weak stuff!?
>The bear was also knocked out with a solid punch straight to the center of its forehead. Earth pony magic is the shit.
>It took a lot of hurried explaining and apologising to get Fluttershy out of her house after that.
>You explain that you only wanted them to know that they've got a responsibility, and they need to be strong to uphold that responsibility while she attends to the bear that now looks like it's part-unicorn with the lump you gave it
>"B-but, couldn't you have just t-talked to us about it? I'm sure everypony would take you seriously if you just s-said so..."
"Not if you're all anything like people back home, and from what I've seen, you're fairly similar. No, I needed a demonstration."
>"D-did you really have to be so scary about it though?"
"Twilight told me the other day that you once faced down a Manticore. Why am I so much scarier?"
>"A manticore couldn't beat the Captain of the Royal Guard..."
>Aw, shucks, she's flattering you!
"Well, thank you Fluttershy."
>"Th-that wasn't... O-okay, you're welcome."
"Well, what if I spent the rest of the day doing something to prove that I'm not that scary after all?"
>"L-like what?"
>You shrug off your back pack and pull out a pencil and sketchbook.
"I haven't done any drawing in a few days. Why not just let me hang around here and sketch for the rest of the day?"
>"I-I thought you only did that on the train to get us to let our guard down..."
>Ouch. She said that so innocently too.
"No, I actually do like to draw when I'm not fighting or eating or anything else. A guy's gotta have a hobby, right? Besides, a man that doesn't enjoy the peace he's fought for, fights for nothing."
>The soft-spoken pegasus stops and considers your words.
>"Well... Okay, I guess that's fine. B-but, please don't hit anything while you're here..."
>You raise your hand and smile.
"A man's word is his life. I promise."
>She hesitates for a moment, then relaxes and smiles.
>The rest of the afternoon is spent sitting in the shade and drawing whatever catches your eye.
>It's nice to relax after a morning of light exercise
>The warmth and the breeze is getting you kinda tired too...
>It's been a while since you've been so relaxed...
>What a great day... For a nap...

>You wake up with a start. It's dark out now. You must have been out for hours
>You shift around and notice that all of your drawing implements have been laid next to you
>You've also got a blanet laid over your shoulders
>Fluttershy must have noticed and left it for you
>You'll have to thank her later
>You pack up your things and start the walk back to Twilight's
>She's probably gonna have some choice words for you for staying out so long

>Day 4 in Equestria
>The same dream again. Running, failing, accusations, graveyard. No pony princess this time though.
>Surprisingly, Twilight knew where you were yesterday: she stopped by Fluttershy's and saw you napping.
>She also said you sounded like "an Ursa Major working a construction site". Her way of saying you snored like a motherfucker.
>Today was all planned out for you as well: retrieve clothes from Rarity and set up your room properly in the basement.
>But you had a more pressing thought on your mind however, something that had been weighing on you more and more as the days went by
>Meat
>More specifically, the lack of it
>You haven't had any goddamn meat since you got here
>Not even fish or chicken
>The only protein you've gotten is from eggs and nuts
>And telling the ponies you like to consume the flesh of other living beings after you beat the crap out of them a day ago sounds like a terrible idea
>You ponder that the only way you may be able to acquire meat among these vegetarian ponies is to hunt it yourself
>But where? You'd need to find some way of asking without raising suspicions
>You spend most of the morning wondering and thinking about how to find out where to hunt as your cravings grows
>Before you know it, you, Twilight and Spike are at Carousel Boutique
>Goddamn you need some meat. The craving's distracting you worse than you thought it would. This shit's gonna keep hanging over your head until you get some.
>"Oh, good day everyone! You're just in time, I've just finished the last piece for our otherworldly guests outfits..."
>Rarity is banging on and on about how exciting it was to work on a new species clothes, and male's at that, Twilight is smiling and nodding politely, and you can't pay any attention because YOU JUST WANT SOME FUCKING MEAT
>You shake your head and give yourself a quick slap. Focus Anon! Meat later, clothes now! Focus!
>Finally pulled from your stupor, you notice Spike is practically levitating from the ground with adoration. He appears to be completely taken with Rarity.
>You kneel down and nudge him with your elbow.
"Hey, little dude. Got the hots for Rarity, huh?"
>He comes out of his fantasy bubble with a start, and starts to sweat.
>"W-what? N-nah, dude! I'm just... Uhh... Uhhhhh..."
>He scratches the back of his head, desperately trying to think of some cover for why he was staring at Rarity with love hearts flying out of his eyes.
>After about 10 seconds of stuttering, he sighs.
>"I got nothing."
>You chuckle. Dude's got his first crush, huh?
"So why try and hide it?"
>"Well... What if she finds out and turns me down? I couldn't take that, man."
"So what, you just plan on staying in her shadow for the rest of your life? If you don't make a grab at her, how do you know somebody else won't?"
>That gets him looking nervous. "Y-you really think so?"
"Well yeah! I mean, look at her! Famous fashion designer, a national hero, and a classy lady in her own right. In fact, if you're not gonna make a move on her, I just might..." you say with a sly grin.
>"What!? N-no, wait! I mean--!" he starts to fall over his words in a rush, apparently terrified that you might make a go for her. You chuckle good-naturedly and pat his head.
"Relax, Spike. I'm kidding. Seriously though, if you're interested in Rarity, you gotta show her you're interested! If you're a man, then put your guts into it! A courageous heart makes all things possible!"
>"But I'm a dragon..."
"So what? A man is a dragon times 1000 in terms of how hot our blood runs!"
>He seems to be warming up to the idea, muttering to himself and nodding, looking more confident.
>"So, you think I should just come out and say it to her?"
"That's right! A man should be forthright about his intentions with a woman!"
>He starts beaming and giving a goofy grin.
>"Alright! I-I'm gonna do it! Thanks for the advice Anon!"
"Call me big bro from now, Spike. You be my little bro, and I'll make sure you know exactly how a man gets his jobs done." You drop him a wink.
>"Okay! Thanks again, big bro! If there's anything I can do to repay you, just say the word!"
>Repay you? Hmmm...
"Actually, there is something Spike..."
>You make sure the girls are still preoccupied with each other and drop your voice to a whisper. Spike leans in to hear you better.
"I need some meat. Dragons eat meat, right? So I figured you'd know how to get some in this town of vegetarians. Any ideas?"
>He pauses and scratches the back of his head.
>"I dunno big bro, I usually just eat gems and whatever everypony else eats. I don't think I've ever had meat before."
>Your heart sinks. So much for the chance of an ultra-rare steak in the future...
>"Buuuuuuuuut..."
>You perk up again.
"But?"
>"There is a lot of different creatures in the Everfree. I guess if you got really desperate you could always try looking in there.!
>Everfree Forest... Twilight made sure to tell you to stay away from there because of the wild magical beasts that lived there.
>So on the one hand, you could stay in Ponyville and be a vegetarian for the rest of your life.
>Or you could go have a kickass adventure in a haunted, spooky forest and get meat at the same time.
"Thanks little bro. I think I have a plan."
>He beams at you.
>"Glad I could help!" He puts out a tiny fist, and you hit it with your own.
>At least the manly tradition of the brofist lives on in this world.
>"Whatever are the two of you whispering about over there? Anon! Wuld you kindly come and make sure these clothes fit before you take them away for me, dear?"
>Rarity's calling. But now you've got an idea.
>You know where to get meat. You know how to get meat.
>The three of you say your goodbyes to Rarity after confirming the clothes od fit. You're surprised at how comfortable the new ones are: light and loose, but still looking good.
>Spike doesn't quite man up and tell her about his attraction, he gets too lost in his own world for that after a goodbye kiss on the cheek from the subject of his admiration.
>The evening is productive: you get a bed sized for you and desk with all of your art supplies set up as well as a closet filled with your training gear in the basement
>And then, you wait for midnight to strike

>Darkness falls across the land
>The hunting hour is close at hand
>You make your move
>Grabbing your bag, you pack away some essentials
>Rope, tinder and steel, a hunting knife, a good sized water canteen, and a hip flask full of whiskey from back home
>You nod. That should be plenty for what you're going to do
>You drop the note you wrote up earlier for Twilight on her table. If she respects other cultures as much as you think she does, what you wrote should prevent her from sending out the rescue squad when she finds you gone in the morning.
>With that, you set off into the night towards the dark forest

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>You are Twilight Sparkle
>Celestia's sun shining on your face never fails: your tutor makes the best alarm clock (not that you'd ever say that to her!)
>Wake up, sit up, yawn, stretch, wake Spike
>You've got a big day planned: you want to hear more from Anon about this so-called "internet" and he needs to learn more about ponykind's holidays
>You trot downstairs and knock on Anon's door
"Wake up, sleepyhead! We've got a lot to get through today, so rise and shine!"
>You wait a few seconds for a response before knocking again.
"Come on Anon, I'm not kidding. We've really got a big day ahead of us!"
>More silence
"I'm going to count to three and then I'm coming in to get you! Onnnnnne... Twoooooo... Three!"
>You open the door and canter over to his bed, drawing the covers off of it.
"Alright Anon, enough playing around, it's time... to... go..."
>Nothing. His bed's completely empty
>Oh Celestia no, what is that crazy man up to now?
>You sigh wearily and head back upstairs maybe he left a--
"Note?"
>Sure enough, there's a piece of paper with your name scribbled on the front
>You bring the paper in front of your face, opening it up and reading what's written inside

>"Dear Twilight,
>Gone to deadly, dark, haunted Everfree forest to practice ancient human martial arts techniques without being watched
>Imperative I am not to be disturbed
>These techniques are the secret to my power
>Cannot be shown to anyone under any circumstances
>Writing this letter to inform you I will be back in time for dinner and to not come in after me
>Sincerely,
>Anon
>PS, No, you cannot come and watch my secret techniques in action
>Seriously, if you see them, I'll have to kill you"

>So, he's disappeared into the forest filled with incredibly dangerous magical creatures to practice some kind of ancient, human secret martial arts
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!"
>"Twilight, can you keep it down? *yawn* It's too early for yelling like that!"
"Oh. Hehe. Sorry Spike."

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>You are Anon
>According to your internal clock it is now 2am
>Even with the moon and stars on a cloudless night, the forest is still incredibly dark
>Fortunately, you've had plenty of carrots over your lifetime
>As you try to stalk the undergrowth as quietly as you can, you keep your ear out for any unusual noises
>But there's nothing except for the hooting of owls and chirping of crickets
>It takes another hour of solid wandering before you encounter anything
>It starts with a rustling in the undergrowth
>You freeze in place and draw your knife cautiously, keeping still, eyes darting around trying to locate the source
>The rustling draws closer, along with the sound of claws scratching at the ground
>Whatever it is, it will probably be capable of putting up a fight
>Your heart starts beating faster, adrenaline charging your system as you envision what the creature might be
>Finally, it comes into your line of sight
>It's a strange beast: a hybrid of lizard and bird
>From the neck down, it's nothing but scales and claws, but the head is incredibly chicken-like
>It would almost be comical if not for its eyes
>Beady, shining, malevolent eyes. They seem to possess nothing but malice for you and an incredible killing intent
>A killing intent that lets you know it is something far more than meets the eye
>There's no doubt this is one of the magical beasts that Twilight warned you about: the Cockatrice
>Something about this beast and the way it carries itself makes it seem as though it is absolutely certain of its place on the food chain: above you
>And as its eyes lock onto your own, you feel your joints begin to stiffen, as if your very being was hardening into rock
>But you do not have time to consider why
>There is only one thought in your mind now
>"It looks like a chicken: therefore, I can eat it."
>A single mighty boot to the head and the thing is sent straight to a nearby tree: with a crack, its neck breaks instantly upon impact
>It has a look of incredible, dumb shock on its face
>You gotta kill your prey quickly, otherwise their adrenaline makes the meat tough
>Satisfied with your kill, you stretch out luxuriously in triumph, feeling very pleased with yourself, and claim your prize
>Funny, the stiffness in your joints vanished as quickly as it appeared
>You should probably exercise more than you have been doing
>It takes a while to set up a small clearing as well as to clean and prep your soon-to-be-meal, burying all the parts you don't use
>But the smell of it roasting on the spit makes the time well invested
>Once you're certain the bird has been cooked through completely, you tear off a leg and bite into it
>Hmmmmm
>A bit stringier than chicken
>But much juicier and with a gamey-er flavour
>Without waiting around, you start to tear into the remainder of the bird-lizard
>It's probably around 5am now
>This was a good night