[S] Leon: Enter

(((shit that got cut off)))

08:21	artificialAthanasia	AA: yup i know
08:21	DM	The machine comes out of nowhere and lands on the floor with a thud.
08:21	artificialAthanasia	AA: you're so welcome
08:21	artificialAthanasia	He drags the second machine into the random space he created along the walls.
08:21	perceptiveParagon	PP: Is this revenge for not liking mystery novels that much
08:22	artificialAthanasia	AA: B)
08:22	artificialAthanasia	AA: BP
08:22	perceptiveParagon	PP: I'll take that as a yes.
08:22	perceptiveParagon	PP:  what now?
08:22	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay this third machine is huge
08:22	artificialAthanasia	AA: like
08:22	artificialAthanasia	AA: youll need to clear off a sizeable portion of your room
08:23	perceptiveParagon	*sigh*
08:23	artificialAthanasia	AA: and you wont have much room to walk around it
08:23	artificialAthanasia	AA: hey it could be worse
08:23	artificialAthanasia	AA: i could be an idiot and put it on your roof
08:23	artificialAthanasia	AA: or like
08:23	artificialAthanasia	AA: fucking underwater
08:24	perceptiveParagon	Leon shoves a bunch of different cosplay items, his desk, a mannequin, and a framed photo of Terry Crews to the other side of is room
08:24	perceptiveParagon	PP: Is that good?
08:24	artificialAthanasia	Somnus smiles with only a *little* bit of glee as he drops the third machine, careful not to hit Leon
08:24	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay according to this
08:24	artificialAthanasia	AA: the first machine is called the cruxtruder
08:25	artificialAthanasia	AA: the second is the Totem Lathe
08:25	artificialAthanasia	AA: and the giant one is the Alchemeiter
08:25	artificialAthanasia	oh yeah and this too
08:25	artificialAthanasia	He drops the capatcha card on Leon's head.
08:25	perceptiveParagon	PP: So how do we use these eYOUCH!
08:25	artificialAthanasia	AA: dude its a card
08:25	artificialAthanasia	AA: its not that heavy
08:26	artificialAthanasia	Somnus is laughing a little bit.
08:26	perceptiveParagon	PP: It's heavy for a card
08:26	perceptiveParagon	PP: And that was mostly suprise
08:26	artificialAthanasia	AA: Actually, scratch that, more than a little bit.
08:26	artificialAthanasia	AA: so uh
08:26	perceptiveParagon	PP: Oh well, next step
08:26	artificialAthanasia	AA: it might not be the right time to say this
08:26	perceptiveParagon	PP: But?
08:26	artificialAthanasia	AA: but i have no earthly idea how to use these
08:27	artificialAthanasia	AA: B/
08:27	perceptiveParagon	PP: I don't know either
08:27	perceptiveParagon	PP: Check the wiki
08:27	artificialAthanasia	AA: just try like
08:27	artificialAthanasia	AA: i dont know attacking them
08:27	perceptiveParagon	I'll mess around until then
08:27	artificialAthanasia	AA: thats what people do with machines when they dont work right
08:28	perceptiveParagon	PP: That's called percussive maintenance and yes we do that occasionally
08:29	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay
08:30	DM	Seeing as the game just came out, the wiki for it doesn't contain any useful information.
08:30	perceptiveParagon	Leon: Attempt to pry open cruxtruder with shovel
08:31	DM	Just the things you can already see.
08:31	DM	Roll Strength.
08:31	artificialAthanasia	AA: well the wiki is useless
08:31	artificialAthanasia	AA: sooooooooooooo
08:31	artificialAthanasia	AA: lets hope your percussion maintenance or whatever works
08:31	perceptiveParagon	!roll1d20-1
08:31	Tyche[Dice]	(1d20) [15] : {15}
08:33	DM	Your makeshift crowbar pries off the lid. A reddish brown cylinder emerges and falls onto the floor. A circular... thing emerges shortly after and floats a few feet above the floor.
08:33	artificialAthanasia	AA: uh
08:33	perceptiveParagon	PP: Whaaaaaa
08:33	perceptiveParagon	PP: What is this
08:33	artificialAthanasia	AA: im pretty sure you can sue them for not having an ellipsey warning or shit on this
08:33	artificialAthanasia	AA: it's illegal in alternia at least
08:34	perceptiveParagon	The framed photo of terry crews falls off of the dresser and prototypes with the kernelsprite
08:34	perceptiveParagon	PP: No!
08:34	perceptiveParagon	PP: My photo!
08:34	perceptiveParagon	PP: That was a gift!
08:34	artificialAthanasia	AA: did you just put
08:34	DM	A brilliant flash of light appears out of it.
08:34	artificialAthanasia	AA: did you
08:34	perceptiveParagon	PP: It fell in!
08:34	artificialAthanasia	AA: i saw
08:35	perceptiveParagon	PP: Right off of the top of my dresser!
08:35	artificialAthanasia	AA: yup
08:35	artificialAthanasia	AA: im sorry about that
08:35	perceptiveParagon	PP: Geez, what am I looking at?
08:35	DM	When the light clears, the reddish brown circle has been replaced with the reddish brown torso of Terry Crews.
08:35	artificialAthanasia	AA: i guess im not the only one to lose a poster/picture lately
08:35	artificialAthanasia	AA: OH FUCK WHAT IS THAT
08:35	perceptiveParagon	PP: OHCCRAPWHATISTHAT
08:35	artificialAthanasia	AA: I am scared for my life right now.
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: I have been to Hades and back and nothing has terrified me more than this thing.
08:36	perceptiveParagon	Leon instinctively throws one of his steampunk cosplay covered mannequins at it
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: seriously though
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: why
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: are
08:36	DM	Roll Dex.
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: you
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: still
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: throwing
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: things
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: at
08:36	artificialAthanasia	AA: it
08:37	perceptiveParagon	!roll1d20+3
08:37	Tyche[Dice]	(1d20) [17] : {17}
08:37	perceptiveParagon	PP: I DON'T KNOW
08:37	DM	The mannequin flies into Terry Crews and there is a second flash of light.
08:38	DM	When it's over, Terry Crews is now wearing sick steampunk goggles + hat.
08:38	artificialAthanasia	AA: i am dying mentally right now
08:38	perceptiveParagon	PP: Um
08:38	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay
08:38	perceptiveParagon	PP: Is this a good thing
08:38	artificialAthanasia	AA; surely this will be the only time we see this guiy
08:38	perceptiveParagon	PP: I dunno
08:39	artificialAthanasia	AA: if this were a mystery novel this guy would be a throwaway character
08:39	perceptiveParagon	PP: His abs look great
08:39	artificialAthanasia	AA: ...
08:39	perceptiveParagon	PP: What
08:39	artificialAthanasia	AA: just
08:39	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay
08:39	perceptiveParagon	PP: I like Old Spice
08:39	artificialAthanasia	AA: You might not have noticed in your grief over your photo, but some cylinders came out of it too
08:40	artificialAthanasia	AA: you probs have to do something with those
08:40	perceptiveParagon	Yeah... Alright.
08:41	artificialAthanasia	AA: well they probably have something to do with the other machines
08:41	perceptiveParagon	Leon: Capatchalouge weird cylinder thing
08:43	DM	You do that.
08:44	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay both the lathe and the alchemeiter look like you can use it on them
08:44	artificialAthanasia	AA: so uh
08:44	artificialAthanasia	AA: idrk
08:44	perceptiveParagon	Leon approaches the  totem lathe and sticks in the cylander
08:44	perceptiveParagon	PP: yolo
08:44	DM	Nothing happens.
08:45	perceptiveParagon	PP: Um
08:45	artificialAthanasia	AA: is that card still on your head
08:45	perceptiveParagon	PP: I feel like this does something
08:45	perceptiveParagon	PP: Oh yeah
08:45	artificialAthanasia	AA: dude theres a slot right there
08:45	perceptiveParagon	Leon capatchalouges card
08:46	DM	Sure. You got the thing.
08:46	perceptiveParagon	PP: This seems rather redundant for some reason
08:47	artificialAthanasia	AA: BP
08:48	artificialAthanasia	AA: put it in the slot
08:48	artificialAthanasia	AA: on the thing
08:48	perceptiveParagon	Leon puts it in the slot, on the thing
08:49	perceptiveParagon	PP: What now
08:49	DM	The saws suddenly come to life and carve the cylinder into a weird-looking wavy thing.
08:49	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay
08:49	artificialAthanasia	AA: uh
08:49	perceptiveParagon	PP: Ooo
08:49	artificialAthanasia	AA: theres only like 1 machine left
08:50	artificialAthanasia	AA: so i guess
08:50	perceptiveParagon	PP: Capatchalouge wavy cylander
08:50	DM	Yeah sure, why not
08:50	artificialAthanasia	Somnus looks out of the hole in the wall.
08:50	artificialAthanasia	Just because he's curious about sentai neighborhoods
08:51	DM	It looks like a human neighborhood do.
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: whoa
08:51	perceptiveParagon	PP: What
08:51	DM	Rows of houses on a street with yards and trees.
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: are these what your neighborhoods look like
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: this is cool
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: its so
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: peaceful
08:51	perceptiveParagon	PP: Yeah
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: how do you have this many people in one place without them ripping eachother to shreds?
08:51	perceptiveParagon	PP: Isn't your place like this?
08:51	artificialAthanasia	AA: no
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: And no
08:52	artificialAthanasia	AA: we live far apart
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: That's illegal
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: Yeah, I know
08:52	artificialAthanasia	AA: because if we were close together some of us would kill
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: Are you like
08:52	artificialAthanasia	AA: and others would be killed
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: In the middle east or something
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: That's pretty violent
08:52	artificialAthanasia	AA: Nah
08:52	artificialAthanasia	AA: I live in Troll Ireland
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: Right
08:52	perceptiveParagon	PP: Ireland
08:53	DM	Right on cue, a meteor falls out of the sky and takes out the house closest to Leon's.
08:53	artificialAthanasia	AA: fuck
08:53	artificialAthanasia	AA: OH FUCK
08:53	perceptiveParagon	PP: 0-0
08:53	artificialAthanasia	AA: UH
08:53	artificialAthanasia	AA: IS THAT LEGAL WHERE YOU COME FROM
08:53	perceptiveParagon	PP: That was my neighbor!
08:53	artificialAthanasia	AA: GIANT SPACE ROCKS CRASHING INTO HOUSES
08:53	artificialAthanasia	AA: IN THAT CASE I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT IT BEING PEACEFUL
08:53	perceptiveParagon	PP: AND NO THAT IS THE FARTHERST THING FROM LEGAL WE CAN GET HERE
08:53	perceptiveParagon	PP: WHAT IS GOING ON
08:54	artificialAthanasia	AA: just hurry this up!
08:54	perceptiveParagon	PP: THIS NEVER HAPPENS!!!!!!
08:54	artificialAthanasia	AA: you don't have much Time!
08:54	artificialAthanasia	AA: well uh sorry about your neighbor I guess
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: im sure he was a great person before he got decimated by a space rock
08:55	DM	Another meteor takes out a house down the street.
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: fuck
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: hurry up
08:55	perceptiveParagon	Leon: Hurry to other machine
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: these meteors are just
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: game abstractions
08:55	perceptiveParagon	PP: HOW DO I DO THIS
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: right?
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: okay
08:55	perceptiveParagon	PP: Uh
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: uh
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: put the cylinder on it
08:55	perceptiveParagon	PP: They seem real enough to me!
08:55	artificialAthanasia	AA: wasn't that the selling point of this game?
08:56	perceptiveParagon	Leon: Place cylinder
08:56	artificialAthanasia	AA: just relax and do your thing
08:56	perceptiveParagon	PP: I didn't read the intro okay
08:56	perceptiveParagon	PP: I just wanted to play a game with someone for once
08:56	DM	A laser comes out and quickly scans over the former cylinder.
08:56	artificialAthanasia	AA: basically there are two kingdoms fighting over an illegal as shit world-ending staff
08:56	perceptiveParagon	PP: And what do you know, the first time I get the chance the world is ending
08:56	artificialAthanasia	AA: and it's like a VR game
08:56	artificialAthanasia	AA: but without the V
08:57	perceptiveParagon	PP: So a reality game
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: exactly
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: except
08:57	perceptiveParagon	PP: This is quite a bit terrifying
08:57	DM	A reddish brown framed picture of your grandfather appears in the center of the larger platform.
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: add the V back on
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: because it's not real
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: it just feels like a just R game
08:57	perceptiveParagon	PP: Are you sure about that?
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: yeah
08:57	artificialAthanasia	AA: the internet would never lie to me
08:57	perceptiveParagon	PP: Because this feels pretty freaking real
08:58	artificialAthanasia	AA: anyway some weird dude is on that picture
08:58	artificialAthanasia	AA: you should do something before you get Game Over'd
08:58	artificialAthanasia	AA: itd suck to have to do this over again
08:58	perceptiveParagon	Leon: punch through picture out of stress
08:59	DM	The cracked picture lets out a brilliant flash of light.
08:59	DM	---FIN---