anonpencil writes drunk: Don't Be Cross (oneshit)

“Anon, what’s a three letter word for what horses eat?”
>You look up over your morning paper, raising an incredulous eyebrow. Twilight, in recent days, has started doing the morning crossword during breakfast, probably as some bullshit way to bond with you. It wouldn’t be so annoying except she’s pretty terrible at it, and she’s always asking you for the answers. This morning seems to be no different.
>Well, it’s a little different. She’s been acting twitchy, nervous. She’s said she needs to tell you something, then never mind, over and over. You’re just waiting for her to tell you that she needs to cut off one of your toes for science, or she wants you to clean Spike’s potty training cage again. No idea how it keeps getting so dirty. But so far she hasn’t said much since she started the crossword puzzle, and that’s just fine with you. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, especially when living with Twilight Sparkle. Which is weird.
>Still, this particular question seems absurd. You stare her down, but she seems genuinely curious, so you roll your eyes and give a sigh.
“Hay,” you grumble. “You should know this, you make some sort of blasphemous fake hamburger out of it.”
“You told me you liked those,” she says with a pout.
“I tolerate them. And only because Fluttershy gets mad and screams if I try to steal a spring lamb to grind up gourmet-style. Anyway, does 'hay' fit?”
“Sure does, thanks Anon.”
>You go to hold up your paper again, but you once more hear Twilight clear her throat. With a soft groan, you turn your attention back to this needy-ass princess.
“What.” You grunt.
“What’s a needle pulling thread?”
“Sew.”
“Thanks, and also…”
“Oh god, how many are there?”
“I just have a few trouble spots okay?” she snaps, then trails her hoof down the page before continuing. “Three letters for the center of a storm?”
“Eye.”
>These are way too easy for you, is she stupid or are you just smart?
“To take without asking in the past tense?”
“Stole.”
“Four letters for long gone days, archaic.”
“Hm…. Yore? That one is a bit tough actually,” you admit, actually liking how smart you feel right now.
>Maybe this is why your dumbass mom always smiled like a lobotomized toddler while she did these.
“Yeah, but I think you got it right! It fits!” Twilight says brightly. “I just have one more, think you can do it?”
“Yeah, hit me,” you say, your attention now firmly turned towards this puzzle.
>You are a master crossword expert. No one can stop you. You’ll teach all these stupid horses why you kicked so much ass on vocab tests in elementary school.
>“Okay,” Twilight says, furrowing her brow. “What is the organ most responsible for filtering blood?”
>Somehow, somewhere, in the recesses of your brain, you manage to recall one of your lessons from high school biology. A confident grin spreads across your face like a plague.
“Kidney!” you say, pounding your fist on the table.
“That’s it!” Twilight crows. “Great job, Anon!”
>Your chest puffs up with pride as Twilight folds the paper, sets it down, and pushes herself back from the table. You’re almost disappointed this little trial is done. Maybe… maybe you wouldn’t mind helping her out with these words again tomorrow. Just as Twilight exits the room, you remember something.
“Oh, hey, Twilight? Didn’t you want to tell me something?”
“Nope!” she says cheerily. “My conscience is clean and clear! Have a good day, Anon!”
>And with that she's gone. You watch her go with a slight smile on your own face, then  go back to reading the obituary section in hopes of finding good yard sales for this weekend. You had a nice time with Twilight today, she didn’t ask to torture you horribly in some way, you don’t have to clean the potty cage, and now you have some peace and quiet for the foreseeable future. You can’t remember the last time that happened!
>If it wasn’t for that mysterious dull ache on the right side of your lower back, today would be a pretty perfect day.

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