Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

1
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,649
Ahh.

2
00:02:32,951 --> 00:02:36,354
Master Pain, what do we do?

3
00:02:36,356 --> 00:02:39,824
Open the mouth.

4
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:52,870
The Chosen One!

5
00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:09,954
Huh? What?

6
00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:15,993
Baby...

7
00:03:26,338 --> 00:03:28,472
Kill it!

8
00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:48,359
We will all be cursed!

9
00:03:58,370 --> 00:04:02,340
Hmm. Hmm?

10
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:45,983
Mm? Hmm!

11
00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:54,692
Mm, lighter, mm-hmm.

12
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:55,720
So cute.

13
00:06:01,693 --> 00:06:03,828
Bye-bye!

14
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:33,958
It's starting now.

15
00:06:56,581 --> 00:07:01,018
The child had become a man.

16
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:04,054
Rolling to the bottom
of a gully,

17
00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:07,758
he was raised
by various rodents.

18
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:12,897
Having no true home,
he wandered the wilderness...

19
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:17,701
in search of the one
who stole his life.

20
00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:23,607
So on he walked...

21
00:07:26,711 --> 00:07:29,780
and sometimes drove.

22
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:33,651
And occasionally,

23
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:36,220
partied with
the desert creatures.

24
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:39,824
Party! Party! Party!

25
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:41,759
Little did he know...

26
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,795
that before him lied
a mystical road...

27
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:48,632
of great warriors and legends.

28
00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:52,536
Your days are over, mister.

29
00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:06,917
He lived under constant attack.

30
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:10,187
What they had not accomplished
when he was a child...

31
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:12,923
they sought to now finish.

32
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:27,538
Through his adversity,
he learned to fight...

33
00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:36,447
and fight well.

34
00:08:42,721 --> 00:08:48,926
The more he fought,
the more his powers grew.

35
00:09:10,048 --> 00:09:14,051
I mean, crap, man!
Look at that.
Ohh...

36
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:19,690
That's, like, his stomach plug
on the ground back there.

37
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:22,326
You don't see that every day.

38
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:28,098
I mean, that doesn't
really even seem possible
if you think about it,

39
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:31,802
with body organs and cartilage
and bones and...

40
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:36,140
I mean, I'm no doctor,
but it was like one clean chunk.

41
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:39,143
Uh-oh. Trouble.

42
00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:45,316
Open your mouth!

43
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,047
Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

44
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,750
Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi! Uuh!

45
00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:29,920
I need gopher-chuks.

46
00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:14,665
Uh...

47
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:40,891
Uuh!

48
00:12:43,328 --> 00:12:46,430
Our... sexual... preferences...

49
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:51,835
are... our... own...
business.

50
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,340
Yeah.
Oh, you.

51
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,943
Alfalfa.

52
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:05,215
Hey, oh. Huh?

53
00:13:07,986 --> 00:13:12,356
He's an outsider.
Have you ever
seen him before?

54
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:15,225
Mm-mm.
Well, twice.

55
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:18,195
Hey, who's he?

56
00:13:19,497 --> 00:13:20,597
I don't know.

57
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:27,371
And that day,
I vowed to find the man
who killed my family.

58
00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,873
Can you help me?

59
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,442
And why have you come to me?

60
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:36,380
You are Master Tang.
Your skills are greatly known.

61
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:39,283
I've traveled many years
and miles to find you.

62
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:44,221
How many miles?
Would you say ten million?

63
00:13:44,223 --> 00:13:48,225
Eh...
No, I don't think ten million.

64
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:52,229
Look, I need your help.
I live under constant attack.

65
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:56,466
Hmm. Your story
makes my heart heavy...

66
00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:58,302
and my prostate weak.

67
00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:01,238
My bladder is full to bursting.

68
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,074
I feel for you
and your grave loss.

69
00:14:04,076 --> 00:14:08,579
However, it will be impossible
for us to help you.

70
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:12,282
Master, I implore you
to reconsider.

71
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:15,419
Hmm. Okay!

72
00:14:16,254 --> 00:14:19,122
The man you seek,
his name is Master Pain.

73
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:23,894
He has great powers
and is well protected
by the Evil Council.

74
00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:31,001
But now I am in a quandary.

75
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:34,137
For if your story is true,
then you would...

76
00:14:34,139 --> 00:14:37,040
Huh?

77
00:14:39,244 --> 00:14:42,479
What are the odds of that?

78
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,317
You would be the Chosen One.

79
00:14:47,319 --> 00:14:50,020
Master!

80
00:14:50,922 --> 00:14:53,323
Ah, again with
the squeaky shoes.

81
00:14:53,325 --> 00:14:56,493
Master, I was hoping one day
I could be the Chosen One.

82
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:58,195
- Be quiet!
- Master!

83
00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:01,632
I don't like him very much.
Let's kill him.

84
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:05,469
- Sit down!
- Eeyah!

85
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:11,241
I must apologize for Wimp Lo.
He is an idiot.

86
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,710
We have purposely
trained him wrong,
as a joke.

87
00:15:13,712 --> 00:15:19,216
Hah!
If you've got an ass,
I'll kick it.

88
00:15:19,218 --> 00:15:22,586
- Hmm.
- Legend tells us...

89
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,588
that the true Chosen One...

90
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:28,625
will bear the mark
of infinite wisdom.

91
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:31,662
Yea, yea!

92
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,602
What in God's name
is that thing?

93
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:41,638
He seems to be the reason
I'm pursued.

94
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,374
There are so many things
I've yet to understand.

95
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:47,311
- Does it have a name?
- Tonguey.

96
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:50,280
I should not have asked.

97
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:53,417
Still, this is a glorious day,

98
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:59,990
for the Chosen One
has come to free us
from the Evil Council.

99
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:02,960
I remember a long time ago...

100
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,495
when a good friend of mine
told me...

101
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:09,866
there would be a Chosen One.

102
00:16:18,443 --> 00:16:22,512
There will be a Chosen One.

103
00:16:24,115 --> 00:16:27,184
Then he told me...

104
00:16:27,186 --> 00:16:29,519
of the significance.

105
00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:34,624
It will be significant.

106
00:16:35,493 --> 00:16:40,230
And then he killed the dog.

107
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:49,573
I now officially know too much.
And why are you in bed?

108
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:54,344
Oh, you won't even believe
what happened next.

109
00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:57,581
- No, please!
- Very well, Chosen One.

110
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,449
I invite you to train with us...

111
00:16:59,451 --> 00:17:03,053
until you find the whereabouts
of Master Pain.

112
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:05,155
- I'll do it!
- In your dreams!

113
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:09,026
Ohh...

114
00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:15,132
Yes, yes.
Yes, play me like a drum.

115
00:17:29,213 --> 00:17:33,784
By the way, my student Ling,
here, will assist you.

116
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:38,488
Be not concerned of her shyness,
for it will pass.

117
00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:47,397
There you go.

118
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:52,736
I will stay...
eh, to train.

119
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,072
Thank you, Master Tang.

120
00:17:57,242 --> 00:18:00,377
Now, you two,
on with your training.

121
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:04,214
Yes. Sure.
As you know,

122
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:07,617
I am a man of special needs.

123
00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:11,388
You will now receive
the Fist of Fury.

124
00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:16,626
Prepare the long rubber glove.

125
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:21,164
Eeny, meeny,

126
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,766
miney, moe,

127
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:28,305
I wonder where my glove will go.

128
00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:35,712
Open your mouth!
Open it!

129
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,547
You! Open!

130
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:42,219
Hey, guys, what's goin' on?

131
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:42,853
Hey! Ooh!

132
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:48,558
Master Pain, it is a great honor
having you beating random people
in our town.

133
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:53,396
Especially that helpless man
you just hit. Welcome!

134
00:18:55,733 --> 00:18:58,869
Hmm. My finger points.

135
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,570
Wimp Lo, you must be careful.

136
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:04,307
Your confidence
is disproportional
to your abilities.

137
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,510
You think losing is winning.

138
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,813
Heh?
Uh, uh... Huh?

139
00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:13,917
Hmm. The Chosen One
is here to help us.

140
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:18,288
- I like him a lot, and...
- Listen! Shh.

141
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:22,893
I see the way you look at him.
I'm a man, too, you know.

142
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:27,864
I go pee-pee
standing up.
Hmm. Mm.

143
00:19:27,866 --> 00:19:32,602
- I will defeat him!
- Please, don't.

144
00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,738
I will...

145
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:39,142
defeat him!

146
00:19:43,314 --> 00:19:45,282
Whee!
Whee!

147
00:19:58,696 --> 00:20:02,399
The Chosen One trained,

148
00:20:02,401 --> 00:20:07,304
for part of him knew
what lied ahead.

149
00:20:15,379 --> 00:20:19,349
Wow! I'll have some
of whatever he's smokin'!

150
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:22,152
Huh!

151
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,387
Huh!

152
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,189
Huh!

153
00:20:26,191 --> 00:20:30,527
The others soon
warmed up to him...

154
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,462
and his "friend."

155
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,898
Mm! Mm, mm!

156
00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:50,914
Hmm.
Knock, Knock. Who's there?

157
00:20:52,817 --> 00:20:56,486
Your butt that's
about to be kicked.

158
00:20:57,622 --> 00:21:01,591
Take a close look,
'cause I rule, baby!

159
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:06,529
And who do you rule?
The Large, Dark Nipple People?

160
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:12,602
I rock... and roll...
all day long, sweet Susie!

161
00:21:13,838 --> 00:21:17,274
I challenge you!

162
00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:32,622
Leap that wall
if you're so great.

163
00:21:38,696 --> 00:21:40,664
Hmm!

164
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:45,468
Big deal.
Up and over! Oi!

165
00:21:51,676 --> 00:21:53,476
- Hmm!
- Huh!

166
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:57,414
Now we'll...
learn who's the best.

167
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,250
Hmm!

168
00:22:01,686 --> 00:22:04,087
Huh? I... Uh...

169
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:08,325
Aha! Face-to-foot style.
How'd you like it?

170
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:12,896
I'm sure on some planet
your style is quite impressive.

171
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:16,466
But your weak link is,
this is Earth.

172
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:21,071
Oh, yeah? Try my
nuts-to-your-fist style!

173
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:24,274
Oh! Uuh!
Who's laughing now?

174
00:22:24,276 --> 00:22:28,378
Please, stop!
Wimp Lo sucks as a fighter!
A child could beat him!

175
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:32,649
I'm gonna count to three, and if
I hear one more friggin' squeak,

176
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:35,585
- I'm gonna take his shoes
and shove 'em up his...
- Chosen One!

177
00:22:35,587 --> 00:22:41,591
Master Pain's in town!
Did you hear that?
Master Pain? Are you sure?

178
00:22:41,593 --> 00:22:44,194
Gotcha now! Guy-ee!

179
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:46,329
Ay, ay!
Why? Why?
No! Please!

180
00:22:46,331 --> 00:22:48,598
I am bleeding,
making me the victor.

181
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:53,770
Master Pain's meeting
with the mayor.
Oh, this is bad.

182
00:23:05,783 --> 00:23:08,051
Eh, Master Pain...

183
00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:12,355
will perform his skill.

184
00:23:13,057 --> 00:23:15,792
Please.

185
00:23:52,062 --> 00:23:55,165
Mm, hah!

186
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,401
Towel. Mm, thanks.

187
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,572
Now, then, Master Pain
has heard rumor...

188
00:24:02,574 --> 00:24:05,475
that the Chosen One
was spotted in town.

189
00:24:05,477 --> 00:24:08,611
Do what he says,
or he'll cut off
your big toe.

190
00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:11,781
On that you can trust me.
Let him hear it.

191
00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:17,086
Oh, that's tender.
That is tender.

192
00:24:32,571 --> 00:24:37,707
Thank you.
I have been called "bad" before.

193
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:40,477
Many have said I do things...

194
00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:43,713
that are not correct to do.

195
00:24:43,715 --> 00:24:46,883
I don't believe in
such talk as this.

196
00:24:46,885 --> 00:24:53,623
I am nice man
with happy feelings
all of the time!

197
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,925
First, a joke.

198
00:24:55,927 --> 00:25:02,699
What do you get when you cross
an owl with a bungee cord?

199
00:25:06,871 --> 00:25:12,208
- My ass.
- Nyah, ha ha! Ha ha!

200
00:25:12,210 --> 00:25:14,577
- Enough!
- Hmph!

201
00:25:15,579 --> 00:25:19,616
Gentlemen,
from this day forward...

202
00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:25,755
you will all refer to me
by the name "Betty."

203
00:25:28,759 --> 00:25:33,096
But isn't Betty a woman's name?

204
00:25:37,835 --> 00:25:39,202
Easy, easy!

205
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:41,971
We don't want to lose
any more toes here.

206
00:25:41,973 --> 00:25:44,841
You'll all have to excuse
Master Pain... uh, Betty.

207
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:49,479
It's 12:00
and time for his nap.

208
00:25:49,481 --> 00:25:51,514
Heh, Betty?

209
00:25:51,516 --> 00:25:53,950
Hmm, sleepy time.

210
00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:57,854
Come along.
Whoo! Aah!

211
00:25:58,756 --> 00:26:02,659
I must find if I, too,
possess this special skill.

212
00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:05,528
Remember, do not stop
until I give you the signal,

213
00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:10,900
or dramatically
throw you to the ground
and request a towel.

214
00:26:10,902 --> 00:26:14,203
I'm ready.

215
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:37,760
Ooh, ow! You can't...

216
00:26:39,029 --> 00:26:41,531
Could you please...

217
00:26:48,739 --> 00:26:51,274
Er, uh, should we keep going?

218
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:56,279
He said to hit him until he gave
the signal to stop.

219
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:59,148
Did anyone hear the signal?

220
00:26:59,150 --> 00:27:02,619
Well, he was whining
for a while.

221
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:07,023
Do you think whining
was the signal?
Rr-rr!

222
00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:10,560
Hey, whoa, easy.
We should wait a second or so.

223
00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:13,696
Hey, guys.

224
00:27:13,698 --> 00:27:16,265
Come on. Oh, well.

225
00:27:28,612 --> 00:27:31,280
Hey, wait, wait.

226
00:27:31,282 --> 00:27:34,817
He did say the part about
dramatically throwing us
off his body.

227
00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:39,022
Oh, that's right. Yeah.

228
00:27:44,094 --> 00:27:46,329
Okay.

229
00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:48,765
Go ahead.

230
00:27:49,667 --> 00:27:52,268
Throw us off!

231
00:27:53,837 --> 00:27:55,872
He's not gonna die, is he?

232
00:27:55,874 --> 00:27:58,775
You think he wants his towel?

233
00:27:59,343 --> 00:28:01,177
Hey, uh...
That's pretty still.

234
00:28:01,179 --> 00:28:04,614
Maybe it's time we should...
We better get home, guys.

235
00:28:04,616 --> 00:28:07,250
Nobody say anything to Mom.

236
00:28:16,794 --> 00:28:21,764
Hmm?

237
00:28:25,602 --> 00:28:28,571
Hmm.

238
00:28:32,342 --> 00:28:34,877
Hah!

239
00:28:41,952 --> 00:28:44,687
I am Whoa.

240
00:28:48,058 --> 00:28:50,093
Okay.

241
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:54,931
It is not yet your time.
You must not stand against
Master Pain.

242
00:28:54,933 --> 00:28:59,402
- It's "Betty" now.
- Oh. You must not stand
against Betty.

243
00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:01,938
If you fight, he will kill you.

244
00:29:01,940 --> 00:29:07,710
You need special training.
You cannot defeat him now.

245
00:29:10,881 --> 00:29:14,717
- I'm-I'm sorry?
- You cannot defeat him now.

246
00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:16,786
I will defeat him.

247
00:29:16,788 --> 00:29:22,859
If you can beat him,
then you should have
no problem beating me.

248
00:29:22,861 --> 00:29:24,360
Mm!

249
00:29:37,441 --> 00:29:42,879
Ah! Hmm, not bad.

250
00:29:48,719 --> 00:29:52,054
What's wrong?

251
00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,957
The supreme gift.
Hmm?

252
00:29:54,959 --> 00:29:58,394
You must trust
the power of the tongue.
Hmm?

253
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,496
But I must warn you...
Hmm?

254
00:30:00,498 --> 00:30:05,268
In the meadow you will find
Betty's great protector,
Moon Yew.

255
00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:11,140
Avoid the meadow.
We will meet again, Chosen One,

256
00:30:11,142 --> 00:30:15,211
many more times...
in the sequel.

257
00:30:18,115 --> 00:30:20,449
Ow!

258
00:30:48,212 --> 00:30:52,048
Well, at least I have you, boy.

259
00:31:06,231 --> 00:31:08,931
Master Tang,
what are you doing here?

260
00:31:08,933 --> 00:31:11,801
I've come to kick ass.
Oh!

261
00:31:17,241 --> 00:31:20,543
I know you seek the Chosen One.

262
00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:25,248
And I know...
what you did
to his family.

263
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:30,253
Now... Ooh! Oi!
I'm going to beat you up!

264
00:31:30,255 --> 00:31:33,623
Do you need a glass of water
or something?

265
00:31:33,625 --> 00:31:37,493
Jeez, at least
cover your mouth!

266
00:31:37,495 --> 00:31:42,131
- We're all going to catch it!
- Fight... or die!

267
00:31:42,133 --> 00:31:46,502
Okay, I'll shake
your bouncy booty!
Hit it!

268
00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:16,432
Please, Betty. Master Tang
is unable to fight you.
He's pretty sick.

269
00:32:20,938 --> 00:32:24,307
Why, I oughta... Ooh!

270
00:32:24,309 --> 00:32:28,311
Don't.
He'll kill you
like a small dog.

271
00:32:28,313 --> 00:32:31,814
Let your anger be
as a monkey in a pinata,

272
00:32:31,816 --> 00:32:36,585
hiding with the candy,
hoping the kids don't break
through with the stick.

273
00:32:36,587 --> 00:32:42,058
Aw, jeez.
And now the snorting starts.

274
00:32:42,060 --> 00:32:47,930
I'm sorry.
I must fight you
when I am stronger.

275
00:32:47,932 --> 00:32:50,800
Good-bye, Sally.

276
00:32:52,569 --> 00:32:55,504
It's Betty, you son of a pig.

277
00:32:55,506 --> 00:33:01,344
The name is Betty.

278
00:33:04,915 --> 00:33:09,251
But Chosen One,
I want to help you, but I...

279
00:33:09,253 --> 00:33:11,954
I-I-I-I...

280
00:33:11,956 --> 00:33:16,959
I... I just can't.

281
00:33:16,961 --> 00:33:18,361
I won't. Whee-ooh!

282
00:33:18,363 --> 00:33:21,597
He wasn't at the restaurant.
Do you know where he is?

283
00:33:21,599 --> 00:33:25,301
No, no!
He'll kill you.

284
00:33:27,638 --> 00:33:31,507
Don't go. Please.

285
00:33:31,509 --> 00:33:36,178
Stay alive. Stay and live
a life here with me.

286
00:33:36,180 --> 00:33:37,446
Ee-ooh-ee-ooh-ee!

287
00:33:37,448 --> 00:33:42,451
Look, Ling, those curlicues
on your face make me so hot
I can't think straight.

288
00:33:42,453 --> 00:33:46,989
He is well protected.
It's impossible.

289
00:33:46,991 --> 00:33:50,426
You'll never make it.
Never make it.

290
00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:53,095
Ever make it.
Never make it.

291
00:33:53,097 --> 00:33:56,432
Never make it.
You'll never make it,
ever.

292
00:33:56,434 --> 00:33:59,535
Don't you see?
You can't make it.

293
00:33:59,537 --> 00:34:02,538
I implore you to reconsider.

294
00:34:02,540 --> 00:34:05,141
Hmm. Okay.

295
00:34:05,143 --> 00:34:11,180
He spends his time
at the top of a waterfall,
swinging a chain around.

296
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:13,249
There.

297
00:34:13,251 --> 00:34:17,386
You've got what you wanted.
Now go!

298
00:34:21,024 --> 00:34:22,691
Hmm.

299
00:34:37,574 --> 00:34:42,478
Remember, avoid the meadow.

300
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:47,583
Hmm.

301
00:34:52,355 --> 00:34:55,091
Huh?

302
00:35:07,571 --> 00:35:09,672
Ahh!

303
00:35:11,675 --> 00:35:14,710
Hmm! Hmm!

304
00:35:47,110 --> 00:35:49,578
Whoa-oa-oa!

305
00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:52,047
Hmm!

306
00:36:02,659 --> 00:36:05,594
Hah! Huh?

307
00:36:50,874 --> 00:36:53,475
Hah! Hah!

308
00:36:55,312 --> 00:36:58,480
Mm?

309
00:37:00,884 --> 00:37:04,453
Huh? You like it?
Huh? Feels good, huh?

310
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:35,618
Well, you must be
quite a fighter
to make it past my cow.

311
00:37:35,620 --> 00:37:37,853
What is it you want?

312
00:37:37,855 --> 00:37:39,188
Evil Betty,

313
00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:45,294
I've come to finish something
I should've done years ago.

314
00:37:45,296 --> 00:37:47,229
Remember these?

315
00:37:47,231 --> 00:37:49,765
Well, you've grown.

316
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,734
I thought you looked familiar.

317
00:37:51,736 --> 00:37:55,604
Sorry, I didn't recognize you
without crap in your pants.

318
00:37:55,606 --> 00:37:58,774
I've trained my whole life
for this day.

319
00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:03,846
I spanked you as a baby.
I'll spank you now, bitch!

320
00:38:03,848 --> 00:38:06,415
- Good luck.
- Wait!

321
00:38:06,417 --> 00:38:09,518
You mustn't!
You are not ready!

322
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:14,256
Who are you?
Ling's father.
Oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-ee!

323
00:38:14,258 --> 00:38:16,859
Oh, dear.
No one man
can defeat Betty.

324
00:38:16,861 --> 00:38:22,398
When you girls are done kissing,
I've got some ass kicking
for you!

325
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,200
I have to avenge my family!

326
00:38:25,202 --> 00:38:27,436
Ohh!

327
00:38:33,777 --> 00:38:35,411
At that moment,

328
00:38:35,413 --> 00:38:40,416
the Chosen One learned
a valuable lesson
about iron claws.

329
00:38:40,418 --> 00:38:44,920
They hurt like crap, man!

330
00:38:45,889 --> 00:38:48,891
Chosen One! Oh!

331
00:38:51,428 --> 00:38:53,696
Shirt ripper!

332
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:00,469
Chosen One was
clearly not ready.

333
00:39:00,704 --> 00:39:04,306
He should have listened
to that one-boobed chick.

334
00:39:08,978 --> 00:39:10,879
Hmm!

335
00:39:10,881 --> 00:39:15,551
Water... everywhere!

336
00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:19,955
Uuh! All over me!
I'm... getting... wet!

337
00:39:19,957 --> 00:39:24,393
Uuh! I'm falling!
You're falling!

338
00:39:24,395 --> 00:39:26,495
We're falling!

339
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:28,797
A whale!

340
00:39:32,836 --> 00:39:38,707
Mm-mm. Hmm.
Mmm, memento!

341
00:39:40,543 --> 00:39:44,380
Huuh, Chosen One, I am sorry.

342
00:39:44,382 --> 00:39:47,416
I'll get you some help.

343
00:39:53,624 --> 00:39:59,828
Let me know if you see
a Radio Shack.

344
00:40:02,298 --> 00:40:03,332
Hmm.

345
00:40:03,334 --> 00:40:06,869
- Once again.
- With feeling.

346
00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:09,538
One... of us...

347
00:40:09,540 --> 00:40:12,808
is wearing... a pushup bra.

348
00:40:12,810 --> 00:40:14,676
It's lacy...

349
00:40:14,678 --> 00:40:17,279
Master Tang, please help me.

350
00:40:17,281 --> 00:40:22,518
- I'm bleeding.
- Hey! I remember you!

351
00:40:26,390 --> 00:40:27,856
Just like old times!

352
00:40:27,858 --> 00:40:32,528
Ah, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi!
Rikki-Tikki!
Too tight! Stop hugging me!

353
00:40:32,530 --> 00:40:36,064
I have a mortal wound!
Where?
Where does it hurt?

354
00:40:36,066 --> 00:40:39,334
Oh, pretty much around
the big, bloody spot. Oh!

355
00:40:39,336 --> 00:40:42,971
Come inside.
I'll get the Neosporin.

356
00:40:52,349 --> 00:40:54,616
Please, I'm dying.

357
00:40:54,618 --> 00:40:56,351
You must listen to me.

358
00:40:56,353 --> 00:41:01,423
I feel the Chosen One
may give up hope.

359
00:41:01,425 --> 00:41:02,691
This must not happen.

360
00:41:02,693 --> 00:41:07,463
The creature in his tongue,
although a little disturbing,

361
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:13,335
possess a great
supernatural power-r-r!

362
00:41:15,939 --> 00:41:20,776
W-Without Tonguey,
the council is invincible.

363
00:41:20,778 --> 00:41:26,281
They will come to Betty's aid.
Do you understand?

364
00:41:29,619 --> 00:41:32,754
No.
I don't understand you.

365
00:41:35,959 --> 00:41:38,660
- Aha!
- No. Don't do that. It hurts.

366
00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:40,929
No, it's good, it's good!

367
00:41:40,931 --> 00:41:44,666
No, no, please.
I have a wound there.

368
00:41:44,668 --> 00:41:46,802
Come on.
Don't spoil everything.

369
00:41:46,804 --> 00:41:49,605
This works for both of us, huh?

370
00:41:49,607 --> 00:41:52,908
Yeah-ahh!

371
00:41:58,147 --> 00:42:01,850
The news of your father
weighs heavy on my heart.

372
00:42:01,852 --> 00:42:06,421
Evidently, his wound
never closed up properly.

373
00:42:06,423 --> 00:42:09,658
He gave his life for mine.

374
00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:11,460
I'm so sorry, Ling.

375
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:14,596
He was my father my entire life.

376
00:42:14,598 --> 00:42:18,433
We were friends.
I loved him.

377
00:42:19,536 --> 00:42:21,470
And now he's dead...

378
00:42:21,472 --> 00:42:26,141
except for his hair
and nails... dead.

379
00:42:37,453 --> 00:42:40,355
I don't understand...

380
00:42:41,124 --> 00:42:44,126
why people have to die.

381
00:42:44,128 --> 00:42:47,062
Whee-ooh-whee-ooh-whee-ooh!

382
00:42:47,864 --> 00:42:49,998
And now...

383
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,634
if-if I lose you...

384
00:42:56,706 --> 00:43:01,577
Oh, man, I'm a little,
tiny, horny honey.

385
00:43:06,816 --> 00:43:08,951
Mm.

386
00:43:11,154 --> 00:43:14,923
- Hmm!
- Mmm!

387
00:43:14,925 --> 00:43:17,926
- Mm-mm-mm!
- Mmm!

388
00:43:17,928 --> 00:43:20,162
Ooh-whee-ooh!

389
00:43:20,730 --> 00:43:25,100
Oh, but I don't know.
It's so soon.

390
00:43:27,937 --> 00:43:33,008
I can't remember the last time
I felt like this.

391
00:43:33,010 --> 00:43:35,143
So ready for action.

392
00:43:35,145 --> 00:43:37,913
So ready for love!

393
00:43:39,849 --> 00:43:40,983
Hmm?

394
00:43:40,985 --> 00:43:44,987
I need you now in the worst way.

395
00:43:44,989 --> 00:43:47,522
I can't control it!

396
00:43:48,224 --> 00:43:50,192
Take me, man meat!

397
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:53,528
But I don't want you
to think I'm a slut.

398
00:43:53,530 --> 00:43:57,132
Huh?

399
00:44:03,873 --> 00:44:07,709
What? What now?

400
00:44:07,711 --> 00:44:10,646
How do I proceed?

401
00:44:17,220 --> 00:44:20,022
Simba.

402
00:44:20,690 --> 00:44:23,725
I... am not Simba.

403
00:44:23,727 --> 00:44:25,694
I am the Chosen One.

404
00:44:25,696 --> 00:44:30,732
Ah, yes.
I am Mu Shu Fasa.

405
00:44:30,734 --> 00:44:33,635
You must not be troubled,
Cho-Simba One.

406
00:44:33,637 --> 00:44:37,172
He took everything from me...
a family I never knew.

407
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:41,743
What good am I now?
His powers are greater
than mine.

408
00:44:41,745 --> 00:44:45,814
Yes, plus when you were
hit with his iron claw,

409
00:44:45,816 --> 00:44:48,116
you did scream like a wussy.

410
00:44:48,118 --> 00:44:51,586
Look inside yourself,
Cho-Simba.

411
00:44:51,588 --> 00:44:57,125
You must take your place
in the great circle of...

412
00:44:57,127 --> 00:44:58,927
stuff.

413
00:44:58,929 --> 00:45:02,197
Behold the symbols.

414
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:04,866
One over here,

415
00:45:04,868 --> 00:45:08,270
the other over there.

416
00:45:08,272 --> 00:45:11,907
Remember, weakening
and defeating Betty...

417
00:45:11,909 --> 00:45:16,645
is the first step
to revealing
the council's identity.

418
00:45:16,647 --> 00:45:19,948
What is this Evil Council
everyone speaks of?

419
00:45:19,950 --> 00:45:25,887
The answer you seek resides
in the stars above.

420
00:45:25,889 --> 00:45:28,557
I don't understand.

421
00:45:28,559 --> 00:45:30,325
Of course you don't.

422
00:45:30,327 --> 00:45:31,960
I'm speaking in riddles.

423
00:45:31,962 --> 00:45:36,865
That's kind of the point,
like a clue that will
later make you go,

424
00:45:36,867 --> 00:45:42,671
"Oh, that's what he meant!
Stars above!"

425
00:45:42,673 --> 00:45:46,942
Please tell me.
What is my purpose?

426
00:45:46,944 --> 00:45:48,944
Train, Cho-Simba.

427
00:45:48,946 --> 00:45:52,748
You must reach the next level.

428
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:56,251
This is CNN.
Wait, Mu Shu.

429
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:59,755
CNN.
What of my tongue?

430
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:03,859
C... N...
Mu Shu!

431
00:46:03,861 --> 00:46:06,962
N!

432
00:46:10,801 --> 00:46:13,969
Hmm? A tiger.

433
00:46:13,971 --> 00:46:17,339
Hmm?
Tiger, tiger, tiger.

434
00:46:18,841 --> 00:46:21,243
Hmm! Bird.

435
00:46:22,512 --> 00:46:26,348
Birdie.
Birdie, birdie.

436
00:46:26,350 --> 00:46:28,884
Hmm.

437
00:46:28,886 --> 00:46:31,319
I am a great magician.

438
00:46:31,321 --> 00:46:33,255
Your clothes are red!

439
00:46:33,257 --> 00:46:35,824
Wow! Please.

440
00:46:35,826 --> 00:46:39,027
- Do it again.
- Wait, who's that?

441
00:46:39,029 --> 00:46:42,764
B... Betty.

442
00:46:42,766 --> 00:46:45,066
H-He's alive,
Betty.

443
00:46:45,068 --> 00:46:47,736
He's still alive, Betty.

444
00:46:48,171 --> 00:46:51,973
Still alive!
How can that be?

445
00:46:51,975 --> 00:46:55,410
Oh, this is bad.
This is very bad.

446
00:46:55,412 --> 00:46:57,345
Your clothes are black.

447
00:46:57,347 --> 00:47:00,382
Oh, the council
will not be pleased.

448
00:47:00,384 --> 00:47:03,251
Uh, but, Betty,
do they have to know?

449
00:47:03,253 --> 00:47:06,822
He's supposed to be dead.
I am responsible.

450
00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:12,060
Nyah!
He, alone, can disrupt
the Evil Council's plan.

451
00:47:12,062 --> 00:47:16,431
Him and that
infernal Tonguey!
Eh, red clothes!

452
00:47:16,433 --> 00:47:18,066
Uh, Master Betty,

453
00:47:18,068 --> 00:47:23,305
might I inquire, what is
the Evil Council's plan?

454
00:47:23,307 --> 00:47:25,874
Huh! It is evil.

455
00:47:25,876 --> 00:47:29,244
My, it is so evil!

456
00:47:29,246 --> 00:47:32,013
It is a bad, bad plan...

457
00:47:32,015 --> 00:47:35,217
that will hurt many people...

458
00:47:35,219 --> 00:47:36,818
that are good.

459
00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:39,821
I think it's great,
'cause it's so bad.

460
00:47:39,823 --> 00:47:42,023
I-I see...
I think.

461
00:47:42,025 --> 00:47:46,962
But, Master Betty,
what of the Chosen One?

462
00:47:46,964 --> 00:47:48,330
Hmm.

463
00:47:48,332 --> 00:47:52,500
I'll kill him.
I'll kill him dead.

464
00:47:52,502 --> 00:47:56,838
Hmm, like with...
with a rock or something.

465
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:58,974
Like a... like a stone.

466
00:48:10,187 --> 00:48:12,787
He carries the basket.
He carries the paper roller.

467
00:48:17,327 --> 00:48:20,095
Yaah! Hmm.

468
00:48:20,097 --> 00:48:23,498
Have you seen him before?
Never!

469
00:48:23,500 --> 00:48:26,735
Ventriloquists, huh?

470
00:48:27,203 --> 00:48:30,772
Nyah, nyah, nyah!

471
00:48:31,741 --> 00:48:35,310
You know the location
of the Chosen One.
Where is he?

472
00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:39,748
On the life of my dummy,
I swear this...

473
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:43,151
I'll never tell you
where he is!

474
00:48:46,555 --> 00:48:50,525
I am the Chosen One,
outside the wall!
Yeah, the wall!

475
00:48:50,527 --> 00:48:55,463
Your mouth tricks
will not work on me,
ventriloquists.

476
00:48:56,198 --> 00:49:00,368
And so began
Betty's killing spree.

477
00:49:00,370 --> 00:49:04,839
No one was safe.
Ouchie!

478
00:49:05,441 --> 00:49:07,375
Aiding the Chosen One...

479
00:49:07,377 --> 00:49:11,947
became an offense
punishable by death.

480
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:14,783
Hmm. Orson.

481
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:17,485
Welles.

482
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:30,231
I swing a bit more.
I swing a bit less.

483
00:49:33,503 --> 00:49:35,904
Got ya.
Whee-oh!

484
00:49:35,906 --> 00:49:39,808
What? Please!
Hold still, ma'am.
Here she is, Betty.

485
00:49:39,810 --> 00:49:43,345
The Chosen One disappeared
last night.

486
00:49:43,347 --> 00:49:46,381
- What have you
done with him?
- Funny.

487
00:49:46,383 --> 00:49:49,317
I thought you could tell me.

488
00:49:49,319 --> 00:49:52,153
Hmm. In your dreams.
Whee-oh!

489
00:49:52,155 --> 00:49:54,122
Hmm!

490
00:49:54,124 --> 00:49:58,860
I like 'em feisty.

491
00:49:58,862 --> 00:50:02,430
You disgust me.
Whee-oh-oh-oh!

492
00:50:02,432 --> 00:50:05,967
Ee-oh, whee-oh, pee-oh,
ee-oh, pee-oh!

493
00:50:05,969 --> 00:50:08,470
Whee!

494
00:50:14,311 --> 00:50:16,277
Whee! Ohh!

495
00:50:16,279 --> 00:50:18,613
She hit me, Betty.
No!

496
00:50:18,615 --> 00:50:22,083
Go follow her, then save her...

497
00:50:22,085 --> 00:50:24,019
for me.

498
00:50:42,572 --> 00:50:45,340
Coo-coo!
Coo-coo!

499
00:50:49,045 --> 00:50:52,547
I'm just a birdy too.

500
00:50:53,315 --> 00:50:57,085
Uh-huh? Uh-huh?

501
00:51:03,160 --> 00:51:05,527
- Huh?
- Yaah!

502
00:51:28,185 --> 00:51:31,352
Okay, so here were my options.

503
00:51:31,354 --> 00:51:34,989
"A," quickly duck sideways,
dodge the claw,

504
00:51:34,991 --> 00:51:37,892
then take him out
with a spinning back kick.

505
00:51:37,894 --> 00:51:40,695
Or "B," take the claw
in the face,

506
00:51:40,697 --> 00:51:44,499
then roll on the ground and die.

507
00:51:44,501 --> 00:51:46,968
Hmm. Should have gone
with "A."

508
00:51:57,513 --> 00:52:00,915
That's right!
Follow me!

509
00:52:02,318 --> 00:52:04,185
Right into my trap!

510
00:52:18,501 --> 00:52:22,070
You go that way.
I'll go home.

511
00:52:28,144 --> 00:52:31,212
Hmm? Hmm?

512
00:52:36,519 --> 00:52:39,287
Huh?

513
00:52:39,289 --> 00:52:40,722
Hmm?

514
00:52:40,724 --> 00:52:44,492
Oh! Chosen One!

515
00:52:46,663 --> 00:52:48,563
Ling?
Hurry!

516
00:52:48,565 --> 00:52:52,167
- I'm coming!
- Chosen One!

517
00:52:52,169 --> 00:52:54,335
I'm coming!

518
00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:56,237
Chosen One!

519
00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:58,406
I'm coming!

520
00:52:58,408 --> 00:53:00,308
Chosen One!

521
00:53:00,310 --> 00:53:02,677
I'm coming!

522
00:53:34,677 --> 00:53:37,111
Go get some snacks.

523
00:53:37,113 --> 00:53:40,615
Perhaps a carbonated soda.

524
00:53:41,350 --> 00:53:44,485
I hope they have Icees!

525
00:53:44,487 --> 00:53:48,089
I've chosen the large tub.

526
00:53:48,490 --> 00:53:51,459
My nipples look like Milk Duds.

527
00:53:51,461 --> 00:53:55,430
I've got some yellow liquid
for your popcorn,

528
00:53:55,432 --> 00:53:57,765
and it's non-dairy.

529
00:54:06,343 --> 00:54:10,111
I... will... not...
be stopped...

530
00:54:10,113 --> 00:54:11,813
by a tiny net!

531
00:54:11,815 --> 00:54:14,816
I'll reverse the capture method,

532
00:54:14,818 --> 00:54:17,085
and yaah... free.

533
00:54:17,087 --> 00:54:19,520
Now I have to find Ling.

534
00:54:19,522 --> 00:54:21,656
Ling!

535
00:54:25,228 --> 00:54:27,362
Wimp Lo?

536
00:54:27,364 --> 00:54:30,365
Chosen One.

537
00:54:31,834 --> 00:54:34,402
Huh? Master!

538
00:54:34,404 --> 00:54:38,373
- Chosen One.
- Oh, Master.

539
00:54:38,375 --> 00:54:41,142
Do I look all right?

540
00:54:41,144 --> 00:54:43,711
Uh, yeah, sure.

541
00:54:43,713 --> 00:54:46,748
O-On a scale
from one to ten...

542
00:54:47,750 --> 00:54:49,817
Uh... one.

543
00:54:49,819 --> 00:54:53,688
Come.
C-Come closer, please.

544
00:54:54,390 --> 00:54:56,891
Listen and listen well.

545
00:54:56,893 --> 00:55:01,362
I really like the band 'N Sync.

546
00:55:01,364 --> 00:55:04,899
My favorite member is Harpo.

547
00:55:04,901 --> 00:55:07,368
I think there's a Harpo.

548
00:55:07,370 --> 00:55:09,671
If not, there should be.

549
00:55:09,673 --> 00:55:12,440
I will write
their next hit, maybe.

550
00:55:18,248 --> 00:55:23,551
By the way,
you must be wary
of Betty's iron claws.

551
00:55:23,553 --> 00:55:25,820
They are sharp, and they hurt.

552
00:55:25,822 --> 00:55:30,258
And beware his song
about big butts.

553
00:55:30,260 --> 00:55:33,695
He beats you up
while he plays it!

554
00:55:33,697 --> 00:55:37,365
Master, no!

555
00:55:37,367 --> 00:55:39,734
Chosen.
Huh?

556
00:55:42,538 --> 00:55:44,706
Huh?

557
00:55:44,708 --> 00:55:46,841
Ling!

558
00:55:48,477 --> 00:55:52,714
Chosen One,
I'm... dying.

559
00:55:52,716 --> 00:55:54,515
No. Please.

560
00:55:54,517 --> 00:55:57,251
Remember,

561
00:55:57,253 --> 00:55:59,287
I will always...

562
00:55:59,289 --> 00:56:02,290
love... you.

563
00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:05,626
Whee! Ee-ee!

564
00:56:07,630 --> 00:56:09,764
Ling! Ohh!

565
00:56:09,766 --> 00:56:12,533
Huh?

566
00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:16,371
Dog!

567
00:56:16,373 --> 00:56:18,573
Oh, it's okay, boy.

568
00:56:20,944 --> 00:56:25,213
- No, it's not. Huh?
- Chosen One.

569
00:56:28,217 --> 00:56:29,951
Master!

570
00:56:29,953 --> 00:56:32,420
Oh, Master.

571
00:56:32,422 --> 00:56:33,821
You're alive.

572
00:56:33,823 --> 00:56:38,593
I only did this...

573
00:56:38,961 --> 00:56:42,930
That doesn't mean
a person is dead.

574
00:56:42,932 --> 00:56:45,400
Chosen.
Huh?

575
00:56:50,539 --> 00:56:53,674
Ling!
Chosen One.

576
00:56:53,676 --> 00:56:55,676
Why did you run off?

577
00:56:55,678 --> 00:56:58,012
Why did you leave me?

578
00:56:58,014 --> 00:57:00,815
- But I thought...
- Huh?

579
00:57:01,884 --> 00:57:04,952
Oh, dog! You're alive!

580
00:57:04,954 --> 00:57:10,725
Hey, if you're all alive,
then surely Wimp Lo...

581
00:57:10,727 --> 00:57:14,495
Wimp!

582
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:18,933
Oh.

583
00:57:21,503 --> 00:57:23,471
Betty has gone too far.

584
00:57:23,473 --> 00:57:26,407
Killing is wrong...
and bad.

585
00:57:26,409 --> 00:57:29,410
There should be a new,
stronger word for killing...

586
00:57:29,412 --> 00:57:32,713
like "badwrong"
or "badong."

587
00:57:32,715 --> 00:57:35,950
Yes, killing is "badong."

588
00:57:35,952 --> 00:57:41,689
From this moment,
I will stand for
the opposite of killing,

589
00:57:41,691 --> 00:57:43,624
"gnodab."

590
00:57:46,563 --> 00:57:48,596
Excuse me, kind blacksmith.

591
00:57:48,598 --> 00:57:52,066
Do you know where I can find
little, silver, triangular
pyramid caps...

592
00:57:52,068 --> 00:57:57,738
- roughly an inch
and a half in diameter?
- Right here in my hand.

593
00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:16,657
Yaah!

594
00:58:24,467 --> 00:58:28,736
Betty's protective caps
were the source of his power.

595
00:58:28,738 --> 00:58:33,808
In order to defeat him,
they would have to be removed.

596
00:58:33,810 --> 00:58:36,477
Chosen One tried and tried,

597
00:58:36,479 --> 00:58:40,348
but they were
too smooth to pull
and pointy.

598
00:58:40,350 --> 00:58:43,718
So they would, like,
poke your hands...

599
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,420
if you didn't get it
just right.

600
00:58:46,422 --> 00:58:51,692
So he got frustrated,
as any one of us would.

601
00:59:01,070 --> 00:59:06,574
Okay, maybe a little more
than any one of us would.

602
00:59:09,611 --> 00:59:13,080
I'll never be able
to do it, ever!

603
00:59:14,884 --> 00:59:17,485
Don't look at me!

604
00:59:21,623 --> 00:59:25,860
Your hands... let me see.

605
00:59:39,775 --> 00:59:41,943
It hurts?

606
00:59:51,486 --> 00:59:53,854
How 'bout now?

607
01:00:00,829 --> 01:00:02,897
And now?

608
01:00:12,741 --> 01:00:14,842
And this?

609
01:00:14,844 --> 01:00:18,779
You broke a thermometer
in my hands.

610
01:00:23,753 --> 01:00:27,388
Rub it all in my hair.

611
01:00:32,895 --> 01:00:37,965
You just get stranger
and stranger and stranger.

612
01:00:37,967 --> 01:00:41,736
Your hands...
How are they now?

613
01:00:41,738 --> 01:00:45,873
I don't know.
They feel like
they're on fire.

614
01:00:46,842 --> 01:00:48,409
Huh.

615
01:00:48,411 --> 01:00:52,713
So you really think that's hot?

616
01:00:52,715 --> 01:00:55,616
'Cause I'll show you hot.

617
01:01:00,656 --> 01:01:02,456
Now try.

618
01:01:23,879 --> 01:01:26,080
You have helped me reach
the next level.

619
01:01:26,082 --> 01:01:30,985
And here I was starting
to think you were just
a sadistic psycho bitch.

620
01:01:36,692 --> 01:01:40,261
So, what you...
what you guys doing
later, huh?

621
01:01:40,263 --> 01:01:42,897
I was just going
to hang out, but...

622
01:01:42,899 --> 01:01:46,100
maybe we could get a pizza
or, you know,

623
01:01:46,102 --> 01:01:48,903
scam some chicks
or something, right?

624
01:01:48,905 --> 01:01:51,872
'Cause, um, I don't know...

625
01:01:54,643 --> 01:01:58,179
I do like the ladies,
you know. I do like 'em.

626
01:01:58,181 --> 01:02:02,116
Hmm, I like-a them,
and they like-a me back.

627
01:02:02,118 --> 01:02:04,685
Master Betty, my compliments.

628
01:02:04,687 --> 01:02:06,821
That tiny net was surefire.

629
01:02:06,823 --> 01:02:10,925
Hmm, yes, a tiny net
is a death sentence.

630
01:02:10,927 --> 01:02:13,094
It's a net, and it's tiny.

631
01:02:13,096 --> 01:02:16,964
Sure.
At this very moment,
he's out in a field,

632
01:02:16,966 --> 01:02:18,299
rotting like a papaya,

633
01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:21,802
while we're in here,
cozy and enjoying
the good life.

634
01:02:28,610 --> 01:02:31,145
Huh?

635
01:02:31,147 --> 01:02:33,080
Oh?

636
01:02:33,082 --> 01:02:36,183
Oh, man!

637
01:02:36,185 --> 01:02:39,053
This is all I need.

638
01:02:45,894 --> 01:02:49,630
Hmm. Hmm.

639
01:02:52,701 --> 01:02:56,103
Uh, E-Evil Council?

640
01:02:56,772 --> 01:03:00,908
I-I, uh,
got-got your message.

641
01:03:02,544 --> 01:03:05,212
Hello?

642
01:03:05,214 --> 01:03:10,251
N-Now batting,
Mike Piazza!

643
01:03:12,922 --> 01:03:16,157
Whoa. Oh, s-sorry,
Evil Council.

644
01:03:16,159 --> 01:03:18,993
I-It's just echoey,
and I...

645
01:03:20,930 --> 01:03:23,898
No, that-that
is not possible.

646
01:03:23,900 --> 01:03:27,134
Not again.
He has to be dead.

647
01:03:27,136 --> 01:03:29,870
No, no.

648
01:03:29,872 --> 01:03:31,372
I can handle him,

649
01:03:31,374 --> 01:03:35,910
but, of course,
welcome your assistance.

650
01:03:38,114 --> 01:03:41,649
So he's at the temple.

651
01:03:41,651 --> 01:03:44,585
Thank you, Evil Council.

652
01:03:44,587 --> 01:03:47,555
This guy is toast.

653
01:03:53,995 --> 01:03:56,931
Tell me...
what you're thinking.

654
01:03:56,933 --> 01:04:00,801
Of how best to deal with Betty.

655
01:04:01,336 --> 01:04:04,872
But you've mastered
your technique.

656
01:04:04,874 --> 01:04:08,342
You should be able
to beat him now.

657
01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:10,911
I'm sorry?

658
01:04:10,913 --> 01:04:14,114
But you mastered your technique.

659
01:04:14,116 --> 01:04:16,917
You should be able
to beat him now.

660
01:04:16,919 --> 01:04:21,722
I got everything
but the last part,
through "you should be able."

661
01:04:21,724 --> 01:04:25,125
You should be able
to beat him now.

662
01:04:25,127 --> 01:04:28,262
Perhaps, but wooden dummies
don't fight back.

663
01:04:28,264 --> 01:04:32,266
While I'm ripping out the caps,
I'm completely defenseless.

664
01:04:32,268 --> 01:04:35,769
For instance,
the first move
could be like this.

665
01:04:35,771 --> 01:04:41,408
I could leap like a freak,
then throw in a back-snapping
eel strike.

666
01:04:41,410 --> 01:04:44,211
But he'd have
a clear shot at my ribs.

667
01:04:44,213 --> 01:04:48,582
I could always pretend
I'm a bird.

668
01:04:49,084 --> 01:04:54,688
But that would just look stupid
and leave my small, sensitive
balls completely exposed.

669
01:04:54,690 --> 01:04:59,927
The best approach would be
to go for both caps at once.

670
01:05:03,131 --> 01:05:06,233
No matter what the tactic,
they all have a flaw.

671
01:05:06,235 --> 01:05:09,436
You should be able
to beat him now!

672
01:05:09,438 --> 01:05:14,341
No matter.
I think I have an idea.

673
01:05:17,879 --> 01:05:20,114
We're children!

674
01:05:20,116 --> 01:05:23,717
We're children!
We're children!
We're children!

675
01:05:23,719 --> 01:05:26,120
We're children!
We're children!

676
01:05:26,122 --> 01:05:30,190
- I'll take a pound of nuts.
- That's a lot of nuts!

677
01:05:34,896 --> 01:05:39,833
That'll be four bucks, baby!
You want fries with that?

678
01:05:51,179 --> 01:05:55,015
He just left with nuts!

679
01:06:18,173 --> 01:06:22,109
I know you're here.

680
01:06:22,111 --> 01:06:24,445
My name's Betty.
Nyah!

681
01:06:24,447 --> 01:06:27,147
Huh?

682
01:06:31,386 --> 01:06:33,787
Yaah!

683
01:06:33,789 --> 01:06:36,123
Waah!
Shirt ripper!

684
01:06:37,492 --> 01:06:39,860
Hit it.

685
01:07:17,799 --> 01:07:21,835
Hmm, I could dance like that...

686
01:07:21,837 --> 01:07:23,804
if I felt like it.

687
01:07:23,806 --> 01:07:25,939
You killed my family,

688
01:07:25,941 --> 01:07:30,044
and I don't like
that kind of thing.

689
01:07:58,039 --> 01:08:01,508
Eh? Oh, doggie hump.

690
01:08:07,816 --> 01:08:12,453
And then all hell broke loose.

691
01:08:26,401 --> 01:08:30,104
Oh, yes, the council.

692
01:08:30,106 --> 01:08:32,973
Ho-ho!

693
01:08:38,947 --> 01:08:41,482
Yes, the Evil Council...

694
01:08:41,484 --> 01:08:43,917
are aliens.

695
01:09:01,337 --> 01:09:03,370
They're French.

696
01:09:03,372 --> 01:09:08,942
Ha-ha-ha!
Stinky pits and all, baby!

697
01:09:10,678 --> 01:09:14,281
Okay, fire me up.

698
01:09:16,751 --> 01:09:19,653
Oh, yes!
Ha ha ha!

699
01:09:19,655 --> 01:09:21,955
Ha ha!

700
01:09:26,327 --> 01:09:28,595
Oh, God.

701
01:09:28,597 --> 01:09:32,432
Hmm, as you've
probably concluded,

702
01:09:32,434 --> 01:09:34,601
the Evil Council
is based in France...

703
01:09:34,603 --> 01:09:39,673
and will soon rise
to world domination.

704
01:09:42,378 --> 01:09:46,246
Enjoy the paralyzer!

705
01:09:46,248 --> 01:09:49,316
Huh?

706
01:09:50,218 --> 01:09:52,452
Another paralyzer!

707
01:10:03,531 --> 01:10:06,300
Say good night, floppy.

708
01:10:14,676 --> 01:10:17,110
Hmm.

709
01:10:22,017 --> 01:10:24,685
Your booties.

710
01:10:37,566 --> 01:10:42,035
Do it for your family,
and so I can be in the sequel.

711
01:10:42,037 --> 01:10:47,040
Stars above. Aliens.
Was I right or what?

712
01:10:47,042 --> 01:10:51,011
Oh, you need to open your mouth.

713
01:11:03,758 --> 01:11:06,426
Sacrebleu!

714
01:11:11,633 --> 01:11:13,367
Uh... Huh?

715
01:11:13,369 --> 01:11:16,670
Oh, no, guys. Come on!

716
01:11:50,438 --> 01:11:54,808
Ouch. I fell
and hurt my tummy.

717
01:12:06,187 --> 01:12:07,487
Thank you, squirrel friend.

718
01:12:07,489 --> 01:12:11,558
Your soft, cushy body
helped absorb the force
of his blow.

719
01:12:11,560 --> 01:12:15,395
Now, for my part of the bargain.

720
01:12:25,407 --> 01:12:27,741
Chosen One!

721
01:12:31,312 --> 01:12:32,846
Chosen!

722
01:12:32,848 --> 01:12:37,551
Whee! Whee! Whee!

723
01:12:40,355 --> 01:12:42,556
Chosen, you're alive.

724
01:12:42,558 --> 01:12:47,194
It's okay, Ling.
There's nothing to
worry about anymore.

725
01:12:47,196 --> 01:12:50,263
That's what he thought.

726
01:13:13,555 --> 01:13:16,356
What is your purpose?

727
01:13:19,560 --> 01:13:22,362
Whee-ohh!

728
01:13:36,411 --> 01:13:40,180
Hmm. I see you brought
your friends this time.

729
01:14:01,903 --> 01:14:05,338
You mustn't.
You are not ready.

730
01:14:12,681 --> 01:14:15,248
Rub it all in my hair.

731
01:14:31,433 --> 01:14:35,869
Let me know if you see
a Radio Shack.

732
01:14:35,871 --> 01:14:39,673
He has great powers
and is well protected
by the Evil Council.

733
01:14:40,709 --> 01:14:44,778
He has great powers
and is well protected
by the Evil Council.

734
01:14:48,450 --> 01:14:50,517
And playback.

735
01:14:50,519 --> 01:14:53,487
That's a lot of nuts!

736
01:14:55,858 --> 01:15:00,660
That... Why don't you
turn it down a little bit?

737
01:15:00,662 --> 01:15:03,797
Open your mouth.

738
01:15:04,832 --> 01:15:06,566
Yea-yea!

739
01:15:06,568 --> 01:15:11,738
Okay, cut.
I-I can't work
with this thing.

740
01:15:13,841 --> 01:15:15,442
Yea-yea!

741
01:15:15,444 --> 01:15:21,248
At least the winking...
the winking has to stop.
Stop the...

742
01:15:23,384 --> 01:15:25,585
Yea-yea!

743
01:15:25,587 --> 01:15:27,521
Look, I'll get some tweezers...

744
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:30,624
and choke you
with a cotton ball,
you son of a...

745
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:35,962
Okay, I'm gonna
need a cup.

746
01:15:43,238 --> 01:15:46,373
Up and over!

747
01:15:50,479 --> 01:15:52,746
And now he's dead.

748
01:15:52,748 --> 01:15:55,882
Oh, jeez.
I forgot my line again.

749
01:15:55,884 --> 01:15:58,718
I think it's...

750
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:03,290
Oh, thank you.

751
01:16:07,462 --> 01:16:11,565
Oh.

752
01:16:11,832 --> 01:16:15,368
You don't seem
too sweaty...

753
01:16:36,792 --> 01:16:39,059
No, don't do that.
It hurts.

754
01:16:39,061 --> 01:16:42,028
Cut! Cut!

755
01:16:42,030 --> 01:16:43,964
The director said cut.

756
01:16:43,966 --> 01:16:46,499
You should stop that now.

757
01:16:46,501 --> 01:16:48,068
Yeah, I'm aware of that.

758
01:16:48,070 --> 01:16:52,772
I'm rehearsing.
You know...
Rehearse.

759
01:16:52,774 --> 01:16:55,075
From this day forward,

760
01:16:55,077 --> 01:16:59,412
you will all refer to me
by the game...

761
01:16:59,414 --> 01:17:03,316
Oh, jeez.
Did I say "game"?

762
01:17:03,318 --> 01:17:06,720
It was a long day.

763
01:20:48,576 --> 01:20:51,611
Hey, is someone
going to come get me?

764
01:20:51,613 --> 01:20:55,114
There's like a hawk
or something.

765
01:20:56,083 --> 01:20:59,719
Oh, dear.
That's not good.

766
01:20:59,721 --> 01:21:01,054
Um, Mr. Hawk,

767
01:21:01,056 --> 01:21:05,758
could you please, uh,
stop with the leg-eating?

768
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:09,996
Oh, my.
Hey, it's not funny.

769
01:21:09,998 --> 01:21:16,736
What's so...
He's a predator,
for crying out loud!