A Crowns Weight - a Hazbin/Hellboy story

from /hhg/ - Hazbin Hotel #445
Girls like Cigarettes: https://pastebin.com/FkUUG2jE
Monkey Fever part 1: https://pastebin.com/JaA5wymA
Monkey Fever part 2: https://pastebin.com/5JveFhTT
Monkey Fever part 3: https://pastebin.com/i7p8WJYC
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> "Dammit... this hurts... knew I shouldn't have goaded him."
> "I'll say. Minotaurs were always nasty business. Especially their conception. Let me tell you, it was not pretty."
> "You..."
> "Why of course its me. Do you know any other demon or fallen angel that could dress as well? If you do, please tell me so I can ruin them."
> "Why're you here?"
> "Now that's such a silly question to asked my boy, so I'll let you try it again. C'mon, you had your stomach gouged open, not your lungs or throat."
> "Fuck off..."
> "Now that's a request, not a question. A very rude one I might add."
> "Not in the mood for yer crap, just leave."
> "Tempting as that might be, I don't think I will. Its not often I get a chance to speak with the one that will usher in the new world."
> "I won't do that."
> "You will, you just don't know it yet. Honestly, I don't understand why you're so resistant to the idea of it."
> "Because everyone will die jackass."
>" Everyone will die regardless at some point or another, what's the harm in pushing that time ahead a few eons or so?"
> "Because it ain't fair."
> "Fair? Oh Hellboy, you can't be that naïve. Nothing since the history of the universe started has ever been fair. Its all just been one massive pile to take what you can or could take, hold onto it for as long as you could, then piss yourself in your sleep as you die so someone else can take it. If you're truly worried about such falsehood, well then you haven't been paying attention."
> "... I don't have the right?"
> "Don't have the right? Now that it is funny. There's never been anything, or anyone, that's ever existed that's had more right to decide how the world will end and begin again than you Hellboy. Tell me something, if between me and the other Hell Lords decide to just gang rape humanity to death, while you could just snap your hands at end it at once, what would you decide?"
> "I'd kick the shit outta you if you tried that."
> "That wasn't one of your options."
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> "I don't give a damn what you say I can or can't do. Why don't you bastards get that through you thick head once and for all? Its my life, and I'll choose what I do with it. None of this end of the world crap, destiny, or given right crap matters to me. So I'll tell you again, leave me the hell alone, or the second I get back on my feet, I'll grab that prissy apple cane and shove down your throat."
> "You are stubborn Hellboy. I admire that, hell I might even agree with you on a level. But you still have a crown atop your head, and until you carry out the reason you were born, its weight will crush you. Trust me on it. But fine, I'll leave to sit there in your pool of blood, that hazy window between life and death might not matter to one such as you but the Mrs will notice if I'm gone too long, so toddles!"
> "Oh but a quick word of advice; sitting like that? Its terrible for you back."
>"Friggin' asshole."