PA8(Scattered on the wind)L&N: a cold recount

[19:44] <~Kroked> Luna: you have been laid up for a good month now in this damned igloo, not allowed to even really leave, due to fear of overextending yourself. you're now close to full recovery. though nate has still be pretty strict about it
[19:44] <~Kroked> he hasn't left your side once
[19:45] <~Kroked> but... tonight, you wake up in the middle of the night, and... he isn't at his customary place by your side
[19:45] <~Kroked> his boots are also missing
[19:45] * +Luna rubs her eyes as she sits up and looks around
[19:46] <~Kroked> Spirit, his mentor, and the girl that looks like eri are all asleep
[19:47] * +Luna slowly gets out of bed and continues to look around the igglo for nate, she takes her blanket with her
[19:49] <~Kroked> the igloo isnt very big, and there really isn't  lot of places he could hide
[19:49] <~Kroked> predictably you don't find him
[19:50] * +Luna gets slightly worried at the lack of Nate and puts on her shoes and heads outside
[19:52] <~Kroked> heading outside, you find nate immediatly, he's stiing against a pillar of ice a ways away, his eyes are blank, and he stares intot he distance, but it's not the same sort of blankness as when he leaves his body
[19:52] <~Kroked> it's just sort of... empty, and kind of sad
[19:54] * +Luna crouches down an packs together some snow, chucking it at Nates head after she has a big one
[19:54] <~Kroked> he.... doesn;t react
[19:54] <~Kroked> its like hitting a statue
[19:54] <~Kroked> he doesn't even seem to notice
[19:55] * +Luna is now really concerned and walks up to Nate "Hhey.. Is anyone in there?"
[19:56] <~Kroked> still no reaction
[19:56] * +Luna grabs Nate and starts to shake him lightly "Common... this isnt funny Nate.."
[19:57] <~Kroked> he blinks for a moment, and turns to look at you "ah... Luna" he speaks, his voice sounding strangely empty
[19:58] <~Kroked> he seems to attempt to cover himself with a gentle smile, but, he doesn;t quite suceed
[19:58] <~Kroked> you've never seen him this out of sorts
[19:59] * +Luna sighs and reaches up to wipe the snow off his head "Thats better.. How come your out here in the middle of the night? Whats goin on?"
[19:59] <~Kroked> "Just... gettin some fresh air. is all. you should go back to bed, you're still recovering"
[20:01] * +Luna gives him a gentle smile "I was done 'recovering' weeks ago, and you know it. How come your so out of it, whats goin on? You know you can tell me if somethings bothering you, so spill it."
[20:02] <~Kroked> "he looks at you for a moment than sighs, looking away "Not always"
[20:02] * Saia is now known as Saia_at_work
[20:03] * +Luna gets around to his side and wraps him in the blanket with her "Dont give me that, talk."
[20:03] <~Kroked> "I can't"
[20:04] * +Luna hugs Nates side "Yes, you can."
[20:05] <~Kroked> he shrugs you off "/No/ I can't" he says firmly, and colder than normal
[20:07] * +Luna gives Nate a miffed look and wacks him on the top of his head "Oh no, now im really not lettin it go now. Whats going on? Tell me!"
[20:08] <~Kroked> "I already said no, drop it Luna. I can't, ok?"
[20:10] * +Luna huddles back against Nates side "And i said yes! And i wont drop it! And im not leaving untill you tell me!"
[20:13] <~Kroked> "Don't be so damn spoiled! JUst leave me alone ok? Even I need time alone"
[20:16] * +Luna hugs Nate tighter and looks down with a sad expresion "I..Im not spoiled.. am i? Im just worried... why are you being so.. cold.. all of a sudden?"
[20:18] <~Kroked> Nate goes quite after that statement
[20:18] <~Kroked> "...I promised I'd never hurt you"
[20:20] * +Luna still looking down "A-and.. you havent, so whats the problem?"
[20:21] <~Kroked> "You don't understand"
[20:21] <~Kroked> "I was answering your question"
[20:23] * +Luna looks up at Nate with tears in her eyes "No, I dont understand, so explain it to me will you?"
[20:26] <~Kroked> "... I already told you Luna, I can't" he genuinely looks sad this time, more depressed than you're used to seeing him, its kind of scary seeing it on Nate, who's always been either happy or serious, and always confident in things going right
[20:26] <~Kroked> "I told you before, right?"
[20:26] <~Kroked> "All Angels are a little messed up inside"
[20:26] <~Kroked> "I'm not any exception t that rule"
[20:27] <+Luna> has some anger mixing with her tears "Why! Why cant you?! Youve always opened up to me before, atleast i thought you have, whats different now?"
[20:28] <~Kroked> "...because you're fragile.... so damn fragile..."
[20:28] <~Kroked> "Everyone, everything..."
[20:28] <~Kroked> he sighs and shakes his head
[20:28] <+Luna> "SO WHAT! Thats no reason to just bottle it up!"
[20:29] <+Luna> "Your always there for me, and i want to do the same for you, and i cant do that if you stay quiet!"
[20:32] <~Kroked> "I'm staying quiet because if i don't it will change everything! Don;t you /get/ it! I'M PROTECTING YOU!"
[20:33] <~Kroked> he breaths hard for a moment afte rhe yells, something very odd for him in the first place
[20:33] <~Kroked> "...sorry"
[20:34] * +Luna flinches an closes her eyes at the yell "Its... its.. ok.."
[20:36] <~Kroked> "...if you really want to know" he says with a sigh, looking away "I'll tell you."
[20:36] <~Kroked> "But you won't like what you hear"
[20:37] * +Luna looks back up at Nate, tears still in her eyes "I do. I want to know whats bothering you so much to cause.. this.. and if i can help i will.."
[20:38] <~Kroked> "...than you have to make me a promise"
[20:38] <~Kroked> "Promise to keep it together, no matter what"
[20:38] <~Kroked> "Promise me, you won't break"
[20:39] <+Luna> "..Promise? Keep it together? I.. wha..."
[20:40] <~Kroked> "Just promise me"
[20:40] * +Luna shakes her head a few times and looks back at Nate, fire returned to her eyes "No, I Promise. Please tell me what all this is about."
[20:41] <~Kroked> he stares deep into the distance as he speaks "I'm still in love with someone else"
[20:42] <~Kroked> "And I have been running away from that for a very long time"
[20:42] <+Luna> "..K-kaia.. right?"
[20:42] <~Kroked> "...yeah"
[20:42] <~Kroked> "There are... things, I didn't tell you"
[20:42] <~Kroked> "Things I left out"
[20:44] <+Luna> "L-like what?.."
[20:44] <~Kroked> "Like why I was in Nona in the first place"
[20:45] <+Luna> "I thought you said they took that memeory of why away?"
[20:45] <~Kroked> "...they did"
[20:45] <~Kroked> "But...'
[20:45] <~Kroked> "I learned why anyways"
[20:46] <+Luna> "O-oh.. but thats good isnt it? Or is it not?.. I just dont know anymore.."
[20:47] <~Kroked> "I was in nona because..."
[20:47] <~Kroked> "Someone asked for me to be"
[20:47] <~Kroked> "Yes, I may have been doomed, but all in all, that is the real reaosn"
[20:49] <+Luna> "Who? Who did? I figured its cause you just wanted to save as many people as you could, friends or something.."
[20:50] <~Kroked> "Kaia did"
[20:51] <+Luna> "...Why?"
[20:51] <~Kroked> "Her Nate had died, and she had done everything she could to find a way to bring him back. and when she found out the true nature of Nona, she called in a favor."
[20:51] <~Kroked> "She... missed me"
[20:51] <~Kroked> "She loved me"
[20:51] <~Kroked> "She wanted to be with me in Paradise"
[20:52] <~Kroked> "...but, she failed that game"
[20:52] <~Kroked> "She died"
[20:53] * +Luna lets out a soft sigh without realising it "O-oh.. Im still not sure how all this ties together though.."
[20:53] <~Kroked> "So, as per the rules of Nona, when next she played, she was a Blue player"
[20:53] <~Kroked> "I... was apparently in that game"
[20:53] <~Kroked> "But... i don't remember it"
[20:53] <~Kroked> "Because that is the memory Delta took from me"
[20:54] <~Kroked> "Second memory taken, but that doesnt matter
[20:54] <~Kroked> "I Became Doomed a second time."
[20:54] <~Kroked> "I was Doomed in Nona"
[20:56] <+Luna> "You really do have some of the worse luck Iv ever seen... Im sorry.."
[20:57] <~Kroked> nate chuckles a little "It's ok. from what I was told, I wasn't"
[20:57] <~Kroked> "And knowing me as I do, I don't think i was either"
[20:57] <~Kroked> "That game, Kaia was the Demon"
[20:58] <+Luna> "...And you killed her?.."
[20:59] <~Kroked> "No"
[20:59] * +Luna lets out another soft sigh "Ok good.."
[20:59] <~Kroked> "The Deon's Goal is to kill a red player. if they do, they get to go to paradise"
[21:00] <~Kroked> "I tricked Kaia into killing me"
[21:00] <+Luna> "...Thats.. kinda sweet actually.."
[21:02] <~Kroked> *redact a small bit
[21:03] <~Kroked> "The Demon's Goal is to kill all red players, if they do, they get to go to paradise"
[21:03] <~Kroked> "I tricked Kaia into killing me"
[21:06] <~Kroked> "I was the last person alive that game. she couldn't bring herself to kill me"
[21:06] <~Kroked> "Acorrding to what i was told, I knew it was her doing the killing too"
[21:06] <~Kroked> "But i didn;t stop her"
[21:06] <~Kroked> "I couldn't hurt her either"
[21:06] <~Kroked> "So... I just simplified the matter"
[21:12] <+Luna> "So you just stood bye as she got rid of the other players? And then tricked her into getting you.. I know.. love.. isnt supposed to make sense.. but thats just.."
[21:12] <~Kroked> "...you... have to understand"
[21:13] <~Kroked> "I... watched her die, one moment she was by my side, the next moment, she was cold as a corpse, a bullet on her head"
[21:13] <~Kroked> "I think... I was thinking than... at least, I was able to save her this time"
[21:13] <~Kroked> "My life, for hers"
[21:14] * speedy|away is now known as Speedyinthesheets
[21:14] * Speedyinthesheets is now known as speedy
[21:14] * speedy is now known as Speedy
[21:15] <+Luna> "But.. you tricked her into killing you?"
[21:15] <~Kroked> "Yeah, she refused to kill me"
[21:16] <~Kroked> "she couldn't do it... I know how she must have felt"
[21:16] <~Kroked> "...so, I took the choice away"
[21:17] <~Kroked> "I died... but"
[21:18] <~Kroked> "I was an exception to the rules of nona."
[21:18] <~Kroked> "I may have died, but"
[21:18] <~Kroked> "I had been doomed"
[21:18] <~Kroked> "And I guess, somebody was interested in me"
[21:19] <~Kroked> "So, I played again, and Kaia knew, and waited for me"
[21:20] <~Kroked> "And so, I started again, memories gone"
[21:20] <~Kroked> "While playing, I learned about her, that she had played, and that she might be out there"
[21:20] <~Kroked> "...it... scared me"
[21:20] <~Kroked> "I was afraid of her, afraid to see her again"
[21:21] <~Kroked> "...no, no I
[21:21] <~Kroked> *"...no, no, I'm not afraid of her... I'm afraid of myself"
[21:22] <~Kroked> "I don't... deserve her"
[21:22] <~Kroked> "I never will, all I can do is hurt her"
[21:22] <~Kroked> "I let myself fall for another girl, telling myself i was moving on"
[21:23] <~Kroked> "Maybe i was just hiding"
[21:23] <~Kroked> "The games ended, and she waited for me still, but, I never came"
[21:24] <~Kroked> "I'm cursed to outlive her. I will never be able to make up for my sins... i can't protect her"
[21:24] <~Kroked> "I failed to save the Kaia of my story"
[21:25] <~Kroked> "How could I ever protect this one?"
[21:29] * GangstaSeifer (DSD@Org.XIII.Xemnas) has joined #RP
[21:29] * DrinkyBird sets mode: +v GangstaSeifer
[21:31] * +DarkSunDuelist (DSD@Org.XIII.Xemnas) Quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
[21:33] * PWOTAGONIST (DSD@Org.XIII.Xemnas) has joined #RP
[21:33] * DrinkyBird sets mode: +v PWOTAGONIST
[21:34] * +Luna has been quietly listening, processing all this, and slowly speaks up "Your Kaia is gone.. you talk about hiding like you did.. but tring to have other kaias take her place is the real hiding. You need to accept that yours is gone.. if you want to try and save them because thats who you are, thats one thing.. but if your just tring to find a replacment kaia.."
[21:35] * +GangstaSeifer (DSD@Org.XIII.Xemnas) Quit (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
[21:36] <~Kroked> "That's..." his face twists a little into anger, before he calms himself for a moment
[21:37] <~Kroked> "...you're wrong"
[21:37] <~Kroked> he says calmly and continues "THe Kaia of my story might be dead, but this kaia... is still my kaia"
[21:40] <~Kroked> "We share the same history, same memories... same everything"
[21:41] <~Kroked> "Only one difference"
[21:41] <~Kroked> "In her timeline, i died"
[21:41] <~Kroked> "In mine, she died"
[21:42] <~Kroked> "Our paths seperated after that, but both led us to nona"
[21:42] <~Kroked> "She's... my kaia"
[21:44] <~Kroked> "That's why..."
[21:44] <~Kroked> he shakes his head sadly and goes silent
[21:46] * +Luna looks down and away from Nate "O-oh... so the fork in the road so to speak, was the night of the shooting... kinda like flipin a coin i guess.. I can see why you still care about this one so deeply then.."
[21:46] <+Luna> "..Sorry.."
[21:48] <~Kroked> "...do you understand why I didn't want to tell you?"
[21:50] * +PWOTAGONIST (DSD@Org.XIII.Xemnas) Quit (Quit: Leaving)
[21:51] <+Luna> "No.. I still dont understand why... It doesnt change anything about how I feel about you.. and if it did.. its not like I could stop you anyway.."
[21:51] <~Kroked> "...I know it doesnt change how you feel"
[21:52] <~Kroked> "That's sort of the problem"
[21:53] * +Luna softly speaks with a hitch in her voice "...Im sorry.. sorry for being such a problem.."
[21:54] <~Kroked> he cringes "N-no, that's... that's not what I mean..."
[21:54] <~Kroked> "It's... it's not a problem for me"
[21:54] <~Kroked> "It's a problem for you"
[22:01] * +Luna continues the soft tone, hitches getting worse "How, how is it a problem? The one I love, love, is gonna go a-away and be happy with the one he l-loves.. If hes hap, happy, then im h-happy..."
[22:02] <~Kroked> "Luna..." his voice goes quiet "...I'm not leaving you."
[22:02] <~Kroked> "I told you, I promised I wouldn't"
[22:03] <~Kroked> "I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a liar"
[22:05] * +Luna looks up at Nate with anger in her eyes "Then what the hell is all this about! What does all that have to do with this?! Whats going on?!"
[22:06] <~Kroked> he turns and stares you hard in the eye's "I Love you luna"
[22:07] <~Kroked> "I do"
[22:11] * +Luna looks away "T-thats not.. you didnt.. you didnt anwser my questions..."
[22:14] * gonzo is now known as gonzo|afk
[22:17] * gonzo|afk is now known as gonzo
[22:17] <~Kroked> "Do really want the answers?"
[22:17] * Speedy is now known as speedy|sleep
[22:18] * +Luna almost whispers "I.. I do.."
[22:19] <~Kroked> ""It's like..."
[22:20] <~Kroked> "When I close my eyes... I can see her face."
[22:20] <~Kroked> "When the wind gusts, I feellike I can hear her calling out to me"
[22:20] <~Kroked> "but..."
[22:21] <~Kroked> "I love you"
[22:21] <~Kroked> "And I would never willingly do anything to hurt you"
[22:21] <~Kroked> "Because it wouldhurt me too"
[22:21] <~Kroked> "...but, she's waiting for me"
[22:21] <~Kroked> "And has been, ever since that night"
[22:26] * +Luna speaks up but just barely "T-then what do i have to do? What will it take... how long will it take... to get all of that out of your head..... but if all thats not possible, just tell me... like i said.. im not happy unless you are.."
[22:26] * ~StarSketch (Sketch@Star.Gazing.Sketcher) Quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[22:28] <~Kroked> "You don't have to do anything. I can't forget her. but... that doesn;t mean i will be unhappy either"
[22:29] <~Kroked> "As long a syou're safe and happy.I will be too"
[22:29] <~Kroked> "And I want to see you stay that way, for the rest of your life"
[22:29] <~Kroked> "I will make sure of it"
[22:34] * +Luna goes back down to a whisper "Yyour just saying that.. tonights proof enough.. Your just humoring me till I am... gone, just one of your blinks.. Then youll be off to stay with her.."
[22:35] <~Kroked> "...I'm almost insulted"
[22:35] <~Kroked> "You really think you mean that little?"
[22:35] <~Kroked> "Do you really think that I would just see you as some sort of... distraction?"
[22:36] <~Kroked> "I would never treat /anyone/ like thta"
[22:36] <~Kroked> "Least of all you"
[22:37] <~Kroked> "/Especially/ not you"
[22:37] <~Kroked> ""Maybe, /maybe/ one day I will go to visit her. but that day is not today. that day doesn't even matter. because right now, here. I have you."
[22:38] * +Luna still quiet "How... how can i compete with somethin like that.. im just a spoiled clingy kid afterall.."
[22:38] <~Kroked> "And if you think anything, would make me just forget about you? You're wrong"
[22:39] <~Kroked> "For years, hundereds, of years, I was alone, nothing but myself, and my guilt"
[22:39] <~Kroked> "I refused to get close to people, I wa son the verge of giving up my own humanity"
[22:39] <~Kroked> "...than"
[22:40] <~Kroked> "While I walked the barren dessert, a rain came,a nd brought life to the dead land"
[22:40] <~Kroked> "You"
[22:41] <~Kroked> "You were my wakeup call, my rain, you made me remember what it meant to be happy"
[22:41] <~Kroked> "Around you, i felt like I could really, truly, live again"
[22:43] <~Kroked> "Besides, you promised right?"
[22:44] <~Kroked> "that you wouldnt let this break you" he smiles gently and ruffles your hair
[22:46] * +Luna still a whisper "Aand.. if Kaia somehow came into view right now.. youd forget me just as quickly as that rain had appeared.. Some wakeup call that is.."
[22:46] <~Kroked> "But she did, remember?"
[22:46] <~Kroked> "And what was the first thing I did?"
[22:46] <+Luna> "..That was just some other fragment.. im talking about.. yours.."
[22:47] <~Kroked> "Mine.... or any other Kaia... it doesn't matter"
[22:47] <~Kroked> "right now, I'm with you, and I would never leave you"
[22:47] <~Kroked> "Besides, wanna know a secret?"
[22:48] <+Luna> "...Me wanting to know made this whole mess.."
[22:49] <~Kroked> "you know... Kaia..."
[22:49] <~Kroked> "She'd like you"
[22:50] <~Kroked> "And she'd kill me if i did anything to hurt someone like you. because she knows itd hurt both of us"
[22:51] <~Kroked> "I love you Luna, and that's a fact"
[22:51] <~Kroked> "It's also a fact that I will never leave you, ever"
[22:51] <~Kroked> "And the truest fact of all."
[22:52] <~Kroked> "Is that without you, I wouldn't be here right now"
[22:52] <~Kroked> "I din't just mean here, as in this place"
[22:52] <~Kroked> "Or even alive"
[22:52] <~Kroked> "I mean, I wouldn't be me, without you"
[22:53] <~Kroked> "I wa son the verge of becoming something, /someone/ different"
[22:53] <~Kroked> "But you, you saved me"
[22:53] <~Kroked> "And I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty impressive"
[22:55] * +Luna wipes her eyes "Yyour.. just saying all that to make me feel better.. again.."
[22:56] <~Kroked> "I told you earlier didn't I?"
[22:56] <~Kroked> "I'm many things, but I'm not a liar"
[22:59] * +Luna continues wipeing her eyes "Rright.. a big, stupid, easily lost, loner idiot... but not a liar..."
[23:00] <~Kroked> he smiles and grabs you gently by the shoulders, and plants a soft kiss on your forehead. "Yeas, but I'm your big, stupid, easily lost Loner idiot"
[23:01] <+Luna> "...For now.. atleast.."
[23:02] <~Kroked> "I will always"
[23:03] * +Luna looks away "..Right"
[23:04] <~Kroked> Nate moves his head to face you again "Always Luna."
[23:05] <~Kroked> "How about this. What can I do to prove it to you?"
[23:07] * +Luna drops back to a whisper again "N-no.. this is fine.. im just gonna go lay back down for now.."
[23:08] * +Luna starts walkin back to the igloo, leavin the blanket with Nate
[23:09] <~Kroked> Nate jogs to catch up, wrapping the blanket around her as he does, and picking her up in one fluid motion
[23:09] <~Kroked> "Woah there, not so fast"
[23:09] * +Luna gasps at the lose of solid ground "H-hey!"
[23:10] <~Kroked> "Aw come on, you really think im just gonna leave you be like that?"
[23:10] <~Kroked> "I know you well enough to not just do that" he says walking to the igloo
[23:11] <+Luna> "I-im just tired.. gonna go back to sleep.. You can put me down.."
[23:12] <~Kroked> "Nope"
[23:14] * +Luna looks away and poutes "F-fine.. atleast take me back inside.. its cold out here.."
[23:15] <~Kroked> "sure, how about I help warm you up a little too?"
[23:17] * +Luna squeeks as her cheeks burst into red "N-no... I just want some sleep alright?"
[23:18] <~Kroked> nate laughs "Ok, ok, come on" he lifts you up a little more, and next thing you know, you're riding on his shoulders
[23:19] <~Kroked> he carries you like that all the way back to the igloo
[23:19] <~Kroked> END RP