Discord's Candyland

>"I don't understand."
>Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shuffle the deck again and place them onto the board.
"Listen, it's really simple."
>Drawing a card, you show it to Discord.
"First, you pick up a card and see what the number says."
>Taking a moment to look at the face yourself, you pick up the plastic human-child shaped token.
"Then you follow the instructions on the card, in this case, to the next blue space."
>The child hops forward three spaces.
"And then the next person repeats the process."
>A lone fang hangs out of the draconequus' mouth as he scowls and picks up a card as well.
"So, do you get it now?"
>"Oh, I 'get' it."
>His sigh is plainly obvious.
>"It's just that, don't you think that this game is rather, fatalistic?"
>What?
"What?"
>"Oh, you know..."
>With a snap of his claw, the cards levitate upwards and are dealt to each of you in time.
>"Once you've shuffled the deck and drawn the first card, the game is over. You can't deviate from the predetermined future."
"...It's a children's game."
>"All the worse then!"
>Discord huffs.
>"Removing any and all opportunities for chance from a game? Certainly doesn't seem like my kind of fun."
>His claw taps on the board.
>"What about this 'Plumpy' fellow? He seems rather jolly; what purpose does he serve?"
"Decoration."
>"Oh, how drab... and you're sure this is a children's game?"
"I grew up playing it."
>"And we all see how you turned out."
>A sly smile dances across Discord's face as you lean back in your chair.
"Look, I never asked to be stuck watching over you for a week, but Fluttershy left me in charge. You wanted to learn more about my world and I said I had some old board games, but you keep over thinking them!"
>"I believe I'm thinking about them just enough, thank you."
>Letting loose a tired groan, you look over at the rather cross creature.
"Listen, we can either play games, or go back to watching paint dry; which do you want?"

>Discord looks thoughtful for a moment, then smiles.
>"Well I want to play a game of course. We'll even play Candyland!"
>Thank God.
>"Only-"
"Only what?"
>He gives the board a sour glare.
>"Not like this. I have a few changes in mind."
>Changes?
>Discord smiles and brings up is claw
>Wait...
"Discord, no!"
>Snap!
>Poof!
>[MAGIC!]
>You land on the ground with a thud
>Several popping sounds echo in the air and you hear grunts and groans as ponies hit the ground on either side of you.
>Most of them are strangers, but Twilight's brother is there, rubbing his hindparts.
>...Dressed in overalls and a striped shirt.
>Come to think of it...
>You look down at yourself and find similar clothing.
"...Great. Live Action Candyland?"
>"Hoo, hoo, very close, my friend!"
>Discord appears before you in a poof, dressed in a foppish hat and cape, with a licorice cane.
"You can't be serious."
>"Discord!"
>Shining Armor hisses through his teeth, his horn glowing at the sight of the 'former' villain.
>"Oh stop that."
>The draconequus reaches out, pinching the tip of Shining's horn and causing the magic to dissipate.
>The former guard captain looks confused as Discord smiles at you.
"So, this is your idea of a game."
>"Oh yes, I think it will be a roaring good time."
>A twirl of the cane adds an extra sense of foreboding to the roguish smile on the abomination's lips.
>"It's just a little thing to pass the time, having a little fun with my dear friends."
>"We're not your friends!"
>"Yeah, go back home, Discord!"
>Several of the ponies look none too pleased at the draconequus' claim, but he waves them into silence.
>"Come, come, it's just a little game."
>You scowl.
"I hardly think that any game you play will be 'little'."
>"I have made things a little more, robust? Exciting? Better? Please, take your pick."
>Crossing your arms, you glare at the smiling trickster.
"And what if we choose not to play?"
>"Well, I would be very disappointed."
"You're a bi-"
>Coughing, you shake your head and glare at him.
"Why would we play?"
>The dracoequus chortles.
>"Because I've locked away Princess Cadence in a candy tower, of course!"
>"You've WHAT? That's my wife!"
>Rolling his eyes at Shining Armor, Discord twists a claw around in the air, turning the white stallion away from him.
>"I told you, it's a simple game. If you want her back, just reach the end. She's actually quite excited to be a part of game night."
>Shining turns back around, his lip curled up into a snarl.
>You hold up your hand and step forward, giving the mixed-up monster a scowl.
"So, what, we take turns drawing cards until we reach the end?"
>"Oh no, I am not a cruel game master, and have provided all contestants with the ability to play the game as free participants."
>Despite his words, a deck of cards flashes into existence between his claws.
>The hodge-podge creature shuffles them several times, his smile never faltering
>"Though, I would be remiss to say that cards are not involved."
"Just get to the point already."
>Discord tuts a few times but holds out his paw.
>"Take a card then."
>None of the ponies move, not that you'd expect them to so, with a reluctant sigh, you step forward and pull one from his grip.
>After a moment, the others follow suit while you examine your own.
>It seems to be a rather intricate seal, nothing like a card game you've played before.
"So what are we supposed to do with these?"
>"Oh, these are your lifelines."
"I don't much like the sound of that."
>His smiles grows.
>"You shouldn't. But they'll certainly make the game a little more exciting."
"And the rules?"
>By this point, Discord may as well be nothing but teeth.
>"You're familiar with the game, I'm sure you'll figure it out."
>With that, the draconequus snaps his fingers and fades into the background as the world shifts again.
>The greens become greener
>The sky clears
>The wind whistles a merry tune through the grass
>And the sun... starts smiling at you.
"Creepy."
>The other ponies stand around, muttering amongst themselves.
>Most of them don't seem too keen on playing the game.
>You can't blame them.
>One, however...
>"All right, let's bring it in.."
>Shining Armor waves a hoof over his head.
>"Since we're already here, we should come up with a plan for rescuing my wife."
>Murmurs of dissent rumble through the crowd.
>You give a defeated grunt, rubbing at the back of your neck.
>If he's anything like Twilight says, Shining probably won't stop until he reaches the end.
>Which is great, but you can't go with him and try to keep the ponies out of trouble.
>So, you need to keep everyone together somehow.
>Raising your hand, you put on a smile.
"While that's all well and good Mr. Armor, that doesn't really help us much."
>The stallion shoots a glare at you, which you brush off with another smile.
"I mean, we're stuck here and you're going on about your wife. That really doesn't impact me."
>Small murmurs of agreement encourage you, as well as the glower on the Prince's face.
>"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is a member of the royal family. You can't just abandon her!"
"Right, right."
>A dismissive wave of your hand has the stallion snorting in frustration.
"But all I'm really interested in is leaving the game."
>The dissent grows in volume, and you grin as Shining opens his mouth again.
"But."
>A lull as the ponies turn their attention back to you.
"But, we apparently have to beat the game in order to leave. Which means none of us are going anywhere until Princess Cadence is safe and sound."
>You pause long enough for the reality of the situation to begin to settle in before you start again.
"I'm at least familiar with this game, in part."
>Lifting your hand, you point to Shining Armor, and then drag your finger out to the rest of the gathered ponies.
"You want to save your wife, while the rest of us want to go home. The fastest way to do that is by jumping through the hoops Discord has set up, together."
>The grumbling dies down as the ponies begin to nod at one another.
>Shining still looks pissed though.
>Well, whatever.
>Grinning, you look over your shoulder and spot a roadsign.
"It looks like there's our first stop. So if you're interested in leaving, or saving your wife, come with me. We'll be done within twenty minutes."
>That lights a fire under them.
>You laugh, jogging ahead of the pack as you make your way towards the roadsign, and the road just beyond.
>Things are going to be fine.
>You played this game countless times as a young child.
>Not even Discord could make this game difficult.
>The sign looms closer.
>'Yonder lie the Gingerbread Plum Trees'
>Right.
>You've got this.
>
>
>
>You hope.




>"I'm tired!"
>You flinch a little as the cry comes up again.
>Glancing over your shoulder, you scowl at the dull red pegasus lolling his head about, whining yet again.
>"How long is this going to take? My wings hurt. I have to get to work."
"It's not a very long game, so just sit tight."
>Your smile is forced, but 'Rusty' doesn't seem to notice.
>"But it's dumb! We've been walking forever and we haven't made any progress at all!"
>Well, he wasn't entirely wrong.
>Your trip had been on for ten whole minutes, and you haven't seen hide nor hair of a plum tree.
>Maybe you got turned around somewhere?
>Nah, impossible; Candyland runs on a straight track
>Sure you could get stuck somewhere for a few turns, but it's not like there are any real surprises...
>"W-Wah!"
>Rusty gives up a plaintive cry, joined by a chorus of other ponies before you can turn your head.
>When you do, a brilliant rainbow light blocks your field of vision, blinding you.
>After several seconds the light disappears, and when the spots clear from your eyes you see that a vast swath of the middle of your group is already gone.
>The remaining ponies behind you stomp and snort, their eyes wide as they glance about.
>"They, they're gone."
>"Disappeared..."
>"Vanished by Discord no doubt!"
>At the draconequus' name, the ponies begin flailing about, much to your chagrin
>Shining Armor's too, by the look on his face.
>But, players don't just up and disappear in Candyland.
>Is this one of Discord's tricks after all?
>Or...
>"Hey!"
>A familiar whine in the distance.
>You glance around with the ponies for a moment, before one points out the source of the sound.
>There, seemingly ages away, is a tired looking red pegasus waving his hoof.
>"Hey, what are you guys doing all the way over there?"
>You cup a hand over your mouth.
"Us? What about you? How'd you get over there?"
>Rusty blinks a few times and looks around.
>"I dunno. Magic?"
>These ponies and their magic.
>Although, perhaps it's not too far off.
"Could it be the Rainbow Connection?"
>"The what?"
>Snapping out of your daze, you glance down at a rather perturbed looking Shining Armor.
"Sorry, it's a special trail that lets you jump across almost half the board; if you manage to land on the square."
>Shining's eyes widen.
>"Really? So, why don't we all just move back to where they were?"
>Well, that would make things easier.
>Shrugging, you nod and move towards the empty space in the middle of the group.
>Only-
>Only, your legs won't move.
>It's like they're stuck.
>As if on cue, a familiar chuckle rings out overhead.
>"Oh no."
>A flower erupts from the ground off to the side of the road, reaching nearly waist height before it blooms; revealing Discord's grinning face
>"Anonymous, you're supposed to know the rules of this game!"
"What do you mean?"
>Flower-cord tuts a few times then giggles
>"There's no moving backwards in Candyland!"
"Of all the stupid rules to keep..."
>Gritting your teeth, you look to the other ponies behind you.
"Well, at least you guys can catch up with them."
>"I'm afraid that won't work either."
>This pansy is really getting on your nerves.
"Why not?"
>"Because it wouldn't be any fun if you could just step on the square and be done. It only works once. And that goes for the other one too."
"The oth-you mean Gumdrop Gully?"
>"Pass, but yes."
>A cheshire grin rolls across his flowery features
>"You only get once chance to activate it, so be careful when you use it!"
>"Ha!"
>You and the two-faced tulip turn towards the laughing pony
>Great
>Another pegasus
>"If that's the case, then I'll just fly to the end of the map!"
>Spreading his wings, the pony takes to the air and zips towards the transported troop
>Or rather, he would have if he hadn't smacked into an invisible wall.
>"Now, now, no cheating."
>Discord chides with a chuckle as the pony shakes off stars.
>"Those of you who remain would do well to hurry along. Plumpy's waiting for you."
>There's another ominous pop, and you see another Discord-odil appear beside the second group, but both speak in tandem.
>"And to the rest of you, it's on to Grandmama's house. Don't dally now!"
>With an explosive poof, the flowers collapse on themselves.
>With a heavy frown, you glance towards Rusty and his crew.
>"So, what do we do now?"
>Good question.
>Rubbing your chin, you consider that for a moment before calling back.
"It sounds like the game is pretty straightforward, so you can't get lost. Just go on ahead for the time being, but be cautious; there's no way to know what tricks are in this game until we see them for ourselves."
>The pony nods and the rest of them gather together before heading off.
>Shining makes an irritated whinny
>"If only that path had activated a few seconds sooner-"
"We might be the ones in a pinch if that were the case."
>The two of you exchange looks before moving down the trail again.
>"Maybe so, but I'd be that much closer to Cadence."
"And still with no idea how the game is played."
>"You said yourself it's straightforward."
"Nothing's straightforward with Discord, you should know that."
>Another huff.
>"Well, it doesn't matter. I'll be the one to end this game."
"In that case, I'll look forward to it."
>You both lapse into silence as you continue the journey.
>Thankfully, it doesn't last too long, as a grove of plum trees finally comes into view.
"Thank goodness, the first stop."
>A small groan of relief trickles through the dozen ponies behind you as they break into a gallop towards the trees.
>"It's strange."
>You glance towards Shining Armor.
>"That there would be plum trees in a game called Candyland."
>Managing a small grunt, you finally get close enough to make out the gingerbread-style faces on the trunks of the trees.
>They look extremely happy.
>It's unnerving, so you turn back to the unicorn stallion.
"Yeah, I never understood it myself. Having fruit in a game about candy is about as stupid as giving out toothbrushes on Halloween."
>"Hallo-what?"
"Nightmare Night."
>The white pony nods his head.
>"Ah, right. Good intentioned, but futile."
>"I don't know"
>A second unicorn stallion smiles back at the two of you.
>"I kinda like plums more than candy."
>With that, he plucks one off a tree with his magic before taking a large bite.
>"Mmm, juicy."
>Freak.
>And, it's difficult to tell...
>But the face on the tree doesn't look as happy as its neighbors.
"You probably shouldn't eat those."
>The stallion looks up at you, purple still staining his muzzle
>"Hm?"
"We don't know wh-"
>Rustle.
>Pausing, you glance back towards the trees, but see nothing.
>Rustle, rustle.
>Still, your eyes roam the foliage and
>RUSTLE, RUSTLE, RUSTLE!
"There!"
>You point towards one of the distant trees, but the leaves stop shaking as soon as you do.
>Then another bunch of leaves, closer this time.
>Another, and closer still.
>And then, right over top of the plum-plucking pony, a low voice grumbles out
>"Muh plums."
>"Eh?"
>An enormous fuzzy green paw swipes down from the foliage, smacking right into the wide-eyed pony.
>He doesn't even get a chance to wail out as he crashes into another tree.
>The gingerbread face on the bark contorts into a scowl.
>And then a branch moves, crashing downwards and whacking the stunned stallion across his head.
>With a thud, the pony drops to the ground and goes limp.
>You manage a half step towards the downed stallion when the guttural grumble rings out again
>"Muh, PLUMS!"
>The ground quivers as a furry, green creature drops from the tree and snarls at the ponies around it.
>Despite the rather vicious horned ears, giant claws, and gaping maw, it's pretty clear what the monster is supposed to represent.
"That's Plumpy."
>You absolutely hate Plumpy.
>While you struggle to process the change in the generally jolly critter, the ponies have taken to doing what they do best.
>Panic.
>"AHHHH!"
>"Run! Everyone run!"
>"He's gonna get me!"
>Snorts and whinnies rumble through the trees as you struggle to figure out how to handle a rampaging monster.
>Thankfully, someone seems to have their head on straight.
>"Everypony, get behind me!"
>Shining Armor glares at the snarling nightmare as Plumpy huffs and snaps his teeth.
>Eager to fall in line behind a confident personality, the ponies scuttle off to the side, quivering and whimpering as they try to collect themselves.
>Not that they have much time as Plumpy lunges forward with a howl.
>They shriek
>You flinch
>And then Plumpy rebounds off a sudden blue barrier that's popped up around Shining Armor.
>How is he-
>Oh right
>Magic.
>You remember Twilight saying something about her brother being a rather prolific unicorn.
>Guess it's not all posturing.
>Still, the pained look on Shining's face as he glances back at you doesn't give much hope.
>"This guy packs a whollop; can you figure out how to stop him?"
>Is he serious right now?
>That's a nightmare creature!
>You need to break out some rainbow deathbeam to deal with something that bad!
"Yeah, sure, let me just dig around in my pocket here and see if I've got some monster repellant."
>You make a show of jamming your hands into the pockets of the god-awful corduroys and digging around, when something catches on your fingertip.
>Scowling in thought, you pull out
"The card?"
>Flipping it between your fingers, you glare at the pale grey vine-like design decorating both sides of the plastic-coated paper.
"This? What the heck am I supposed to do with this?"
>Shining rolls his eyes, grunting as he repels yet another lunge from the enraged Plumpy.
>"We got those from Discord, right? Maybe they're magic?"
"What? No! This is a children's game; there's no such thing as candy magic in Candyland!"
>At once the card grows hot in your hand, the coloration of the design shifting to red.
>You wince and nearly drop the offending object, when something on the other side catches your eye.
>The design is threading itself into something new.
>Something familiar.
>Are those Fireball candies?
>As if on cue, the face of the card shifts, protruding outwards in a small sphere, until the spicy sweet plops into your palm.
>It's quickly followed by five more before the card returns to its formerly grey state.
>Pocketing the now useless object, you pick up one of the candies between your thumb and forefinger, inspecting it.
"Candy magic?"
>"ANY. TIME."
>The Prince of the Crystal Kingdom is looking pretty ragged.
>Oh right.
>Save Shining Armor first.
>Ponder candy later.
>But how is candy going to save you?
>Clenching your fist you-
"Whoops."
>The Fireball between your fingers slips loose, falling to the ground.
>And immediately engulfing the grass in flames.
>Very nearly catching the leg of your corduroys on fire to boot.
"Jesus, this isn't how the game works..."
>"ANONYMOUS! Do something now!"
>Fine.
>Whatever.
>Grumbling to yourself, you take another Fireball in hand, wind up, and hurl it at the charging Plumpy.
>Years of grade-school baseball serve you well
>In that you miss the monster entirely.
>You were a benchwarmer for a reason after all.
>But the Fireball keeps going and crashes into one of the plum trees.
>Almost immediately, the face on the bark contorts into a silent scream as its foliage bursts into flames.
>Plumpy pauses his attack, gawking at the now fiery timber.
>"Muh... Plums!"
>With an animalistic roar, he bounds towards the tree, scooping up great swaths of dirt and flinging it in an attempt to put out the blaze.
>Shining's body heaves as he watches the scene, a bitter smile on his lips.
>"A-All right. Everypony, head back to the trail; we'll leave while he's distracted. Anonymous-"
>The words die on his face as he looks over to you and sees you smiling, eying the Fireballs still in your hands.
"Oh, we're not done here yet."
>With a wide grin, you take second candy and hurl it at another tree.
>It too bursts into flames, which quickly spread to its neighbors.
>The wild eyed creature gawks as more of the grove begins to burn, forgetting the lone tree and hurrying over to your latest attack.
>Plumpy all but stumbles over his stumpy legs, again throwing dirt on the unyeilding blaze.
>Another toss, another fire, and you can almost see beads of sweat dribbling down from the creature's face.
>Only...
>Only he doesn't move to the fire this time.
>Instead, Plumpy sets his eyes on you.
>And roars.
>Crap.
>Your arms and legs begin pumping before you can even think to run away, the thunderous stomps of the enraged grove keeper following behind you.
>Round and round the trees you race, ducking below their groping branches as they seem to whimper and moan while reaching for you.
>The Fireballs rattle about in your palm, sending a dry sensation through your mouth as you consider your options.
>Well, option really.
>Throwing more candy at the trees would probably enrage him further, so...
"But I have to get close enough to hit him first."
>Scanning the trees, you find Shining Armor and make a b-line towards him.
>The stallion's eyes widen as she shakes his head, trying to get you to change course.
>Fat chance.
"Stop. Him!"
>With an obviously reluctant sigh, you see a faint light appear from the Prince's horn.
>There's a yelp from behind, and then an ominous crash and rumble through the ground as Plumpy faceplants.
>Turning, you glare at the thrashing titan.
>You step closer, though careful to stay out of his reach, then toss the remaining Fireballs through the air.
>They land on Plumpy.
>And the air is filled with the scent of singed fur.
>But the creature doesn't cry.
>Instead, he vanishes in an instant.
>And so do the flames around him shortly after, leaving behind nothing but charred ground.
>And another card.
>Shining trots up beside you and looks down at the vine-like design on the paper.
>"This game has rare item drops?"
"What does this look like, a pen and paper dorkfest?"
>The former guard captain shoots you an irritated look.
>"Monsters usually don't leave loot behind when you kill them unless it's a tabletop game."
>You sigh, kneeling and picking the card up.
>It's surprisingly cool to the touch.
"This isn't Candy Land; at least not any way that I ever played it."
>Shining sighs and shakes his head.
>"Right. Well, we've cleared the first leg of our journey, though it might have been better to hold on to those fire-things than to use them all at once."
"What are you, the party quartermaster?"
>"Ah, see!"
>The stallion grins and jabs a hoof at you.
>"You do know what I'm talking about!"
>Jeez.
>Outed by a slip of the tongue.
"Whatever. We've got an injured pony, right?"
>Shining gives an uncertain nod.
>"Right, we should tend to him before we head to the next stop."
>The two of you exchange nods before marching through the grove, careful to avoid the portions that are still burning.
>But when you arrive at the tree, the pony is gone.
>Completely and totally.
>Not even the grass where he landed is disturbed.
>But still, another game card gleams up at the two of you.
>Shining is quiet for several moments before tilting his head towards yours.
>"What kind of sick game is this."
"I don't know. I really don't."
>"Well, why don't I explain."
>You both turn to face the snaggletoothed grin of
"Discord..."

>"Spot on, spot on."
>The draconequss' voice carries a joyful lilt that doesn't fit the scene in the slightest.
>Shining Armor takes a step towards the chaotic caster ans snarls
>"What happened to the pony who was sitting here?"
>"Oh, well it's just as you see."
>Without dropping his smile, Discord leans down and picks up the card, flipping it back and forth between his clawed fingers.
>"He was knocked into a tree and now he's gone!"
>With a jovial laugh, Discord breaks off the bark of one of the trees and stuffs the gingerbread into his face.
"But that doesn't tell us where he went. Or if he's okay."
>"Ah, well, he's fine."
>Bits of cookie fly from the monster's mouth as he speaks.
>"A little shaken up, I'm sure, but at the moment he's safely tucked away in the waiting room, observing and hoping that you all finish up this game shortly. Which, by the way, you have no chance of doing if you keep standing around here."
>Shining Armor doesn't seem to be too pleased, though if it's from Discord's response, or the chunks of cookie he's wiping off his snout is hard to tell.
>"And why should we believe you?"
>A handkerchief poofs into existence by the stallion's head and begins dabbing at his muzzle
>"Oh come now, you ought to know better than that. Fluttershy wouldn't let me hear the end of it if I willfully hurt any living thing; that includes ponies!"
>The Prince's reply is muffled as the kerchief continues groping its way along, giving the draconequus and extra chance to speak.
>"I assure you that nothing in this game will harm you."
>A pause.
>"Probably."
>"PROBABLY?"
>Sighing, your reach up and touch Shining on the back of his neck, earning a frustrated growl from the stallion who lapses back into silence.
"What about the cards?"
>"Oh, these are delightful little things."
>Discord giggles, clutching the card in his claws and holding it out to you.
>"All you need to do is say 'Candy Magic' and flip the card and it will activate. There are six 'classes' of candy, one for each square color on the bord and yours will be selected randomly."
>Reaching out, you take the card and scowl at the Game Master.
"What about the one I got from Plumpy?"
>"It works on the same principal, except you'll only be pulling from the 'green' class."
"Which includes...?"
>There's that smug smile.
>"Come now, if I told you that, where would be the joy of discovery?"
>Gettin real tired of Discord's attitude.
>Shaking his head, Shining takes the card from your hand and adds it to his own deck.
>"Well, there's nothing we can do at this point except continue onward. We can explain the situation to the others."
"Mm, I guess."
>Discord's giddy smile does little to make you feel at ease.
>"One last question though."
>"Go ahead."
>"My magical barrier seemed to be, uh, lacking. I understand that creature was powerful, but I should have been able to withstand several more blows. Are they just strong, or-"
>"You're weak."
>A quick titter leaves Shining stunned, and the draconequus scoots in again.
>"No, truth be told, I've severely weakened your magic. Your companions should be able to do minor telekinesis, perhaps even a spell that they're proficient in, but I wouldn't count on your magic to save the day. That's why I've given you 'new' magic, after all."
>"Gee, thanks."
>Discord wiggles his clawed hand and disappears in a blink of light.
>Shining Armor sighs, still glaring, and starts off down the road again.
>After a brief hike the two of you catch up with the rest of the ponies.
>The young Prince explains the situation to them as you continue around the bend and make your way towards the next stop.
>You can see the spring beginning to drop out of most of the ponies' steps, a little concerning seeing as you're looking to beat the game, not get beaten by it.
>Still, Shining's taken control of this situation, and you're not going to complain about that.
>When he's satisfied that the others are up to speed, he moves alongside you again.
>"So where's our next stop?"
"Mm, if I remember right it's the Peppermint Forest."
>"Well that sounds more appetizing than plums."
"Yeah, it was always one of my favorite stops on the board."
>"Anything we should know going in?"
>With a reluctant sigh, you thread your fingers behind your head and press your lips together in thought.
"I'm not really sure how what I remember about the game can help us at this point; you don't actually fight the residents in Candy Land."
>"Anything you know could be vital."
>Shining Armor looks up at you with a strong frown.
>"It could even save a life."
>With a sigh, you untangle your fingers and wave at the stallion.
"Right, right. Mr. Mint lives in the forest and swings an axe around to harvest the peppermint. He might be part peppermint himself on account of his long, gangly limbs."
>The Prince nods his head and, after a moment, raises an eyebrow.
>"Is that it?"
"It's not like this game comes with instructions detailing every character's backstory, Shining. It's a toddler's game."
>"Right, of course."
>Despite the rather lackluster response from the other ponies, you arrive at the forest in short order.
>Long white and red striped candies reach for the sky, decorated with all manner of green spearamint for foliage.
>That's new.
>Shrugging, you take point because no other pony will, and Shining positions himself at the rear.
>Within thirty seconds of entering the candy-scented forest the light from above becomes dim and scattered through the thick canopy of green freshness.
>Fat pieces of crushed peppermint give the ground an almost snow-like appearance as it rolls beneath your feet.
>At last you stop while the group waits for Mr. Mint to show himself.
>And waits.
>And then waits some more.
>Eventually, one of the Earth ponies gives a derisive snort.
>"He ain't comin."
"We don't know that."
>"It's been a dog's age already!"
>The stallion turns his angry gaze on you.
>"If he ain't gonna show then what are we waitin around here for?"
"Just a little while longer."
>"Fine, but I'm gonna rest my flank."
>Sneering, he huffs and breaks rank, moving over to one of the trees and taking a seat.
>The light from overhead seems to grow dimmer still, taking on an eerie, dusky glow as snow begins to fall.
>Catching a little on your tongue, you flinch.
>No, not snow.
>Peppermint, like the stuff under your feet.
>Somewhere in the distance, you can hear the quiet chime of sleigh bells.
>Oh, a Christmas themed encounter; great.
>Maybe the huffy stallion's right.
>It's better to leave than to get got.
"Looks like it's getting dark."
>Shining gives a small sound of agreement.
"We should probably head out and look to engage with Mint again tomorrow. Or try and bypass him entirely."
>"I don't much like running from a fight, but it's already hard to see and we have no idea what the moon looks like in this world."
"Probably cheese."
>The Prince raises an eyebrow, but you ignore him and point to the rest of the group.
"Tell them to saddle up, I'll go get our angry friend."
>Leaving the group behind, you walk towards the stallion.
>Stopping about two lengths from him, you call out,
"Hey, we're leaving."
>but he doesn't move.
>You try again with the same response.
>Oh, so he's going to be a smug little guy, huh?
"Last warning."
>The stallion lurches forward.
>And then disappears with an explosion of sprinkles.
>Leaving behind his card
>And a rather Cristmas-y looking red and white axe.
>...Wait.
>The bells begin to ring again, closer now.
>Ching-ching-ching.
>Clang-clang-clang.
>The percussive rhythm is familiar and sends a shiver down your spine, though you struggle to place it.
>Wait, now's not the time to get caught up in a game of 'name that tune'.
>Whirling, you cup a hand over your mouth and charge back towards the group
"Shining! He's here!"
>Out of habit, you glance over your shoulder and see that the axe is gone.
>But the chimes are drawing closer still.
>From up above.
>The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end and you dive into the peppermint grit on the ground.
>There's a whoosh of fresh wind that whips over your head, and a strangled grunt as Mr. Mint zips back up into another tree.
"Not just a Christmas theme, but a Christmas SLASHER theme?"
>You're going to need to have words with Discord about his tastes when this is all said and done.
>"Anon!"
>Spitting peppermint, you stumble forward towards Shining and the rest.
>Some of them already have their Candy Cards active and, well, you're less than impressed.
>From the look of it you've got gumdrops, fudge, and a tube of frosting.
>Not much for inspiring hope, though your Fireballs didn't seem like much either.
>But that's neither here nor there.
"We need to get out of here. Now."
>One of the stallions nods and immediately makes a break for it.
>He gets as far as three trees before bursting into a pile of star-shaped sprinkles while his card flutters down.
>But the most terrifying thing?
>You didn't see Mr. Mint at all.
"Well, things just got a whole lot worse."
>"Anonymous, what are we dealing with here?"
"Near as I can tell, Discord's decided to channel a really trashy trope for Minty here. If we separate, he'll pick us off one-by-one."
>"So all we have to do is stay together?"
>There's hope in Shining's voice, and you force it into your own with a grimace.
"Yeah, that's it."
>But, if the rules are anything like they are in the movies, Mr. Mint won't allow that.
>Still, Shining manages to get the remainder of the ponies into a circle facing outward.
>The bells still ring around you, giving some indication of where your latest challenge is traveling, even if you can't see him.
>And then, it stops.
>A brisk, biting chill rumbles through the forest, causing you to shiver.
>And then you hear it.
>Ching-ching-ching.
>Clang-clang-clang.
>From right behind you.
"Everyone, drop!"
>There's another cry as a pony falls prey to the Minty Monster, and several more as you watch ponies gallop off deeper into the woods.
>The sleigh bells give one last clatter before heading off into the distance, leaving you alone.
>"Anonymous!"
>Or, mostly alone.
>Shining hurries over and lifts your chin with one of his hooves.
>Despite the strong demeanor, you can see panic in his eyes.
>"He got the drop on us, what do we do?"
>Taking a breath, you look up at the Prince.
"You want to finish this game?"
>He nods.
"With as many ponies as possible, right?"
>Another nod.
"Then it's obvious."
>Getting to your feet, you shake the peppermint dust from your coveralls and smile.
"We've got to save them."
>Drawing both of your cards, you turn them once.
>Shining does the same.
"Candy Magic!"
>"Candy Magic!"
>The card you picked off from Plumpy, true to Discord's word, turns green.
>And then spits out four fist-sized jaw breakers.
>They have a good heft to them, probably enough to knock a pony silly if thrown at a good speed.
>But, considering your track record from the last time...
>You pocket three of them and turn to the other card.
>Red again!
>You grin, waiting for the Fireballs to drop into your palm.
>Only...
>Only you end up with several long, red strings.
"Liquorice, are you kidding? Ugh. Shining, what'd you draw?"
>"Um, looks like jelly beans and some kind of candy dispenser."
>PEZ?
>Seriously?
"What terrible draws..."
>Shaking your head, you force a smile at the anxious equine.
"Well, who knows; maybe these will actually be really useful!"
>You aren't holding your breath.
>But the two of you head off into the wilderness anyway, following the faint sound of chimes.
>A terrified shriek lets you know that you're close, even if by the time you get close enough there's nothing let but sprinkles and a playing card.
>"We might get another draw from that card."
"We might."
>"But it might be best to let that lie for the moment."
"Agreed, at least until we deal with Minty."
>Ching-ching-ching
>Clang-clang-clang
>The two of you press your hindparts together, each protecting the other's flank.
>"Any bright ideas?"
"Not really."
>You don't need to see Shining's face to know that he's scowling.
>Still, he clears his throat and glances back at you.
>"Well, I might. Mind giving me your liquorice?"
"Sure, go nuts."
>Handing over the candy, you watch out of the corner of your eye as the Prince peels it apart, affixing a jelly bean to the ends of each strand.
>Somehow, he manages to weave a net of the red stuff.
>With a grin, he glances back at you.
>"And now we have a Candy net."
"You actually think that's going to work?"
>"Well, we need to slow this Mint-character down before we can take care of him, right?"
"I guess, but isn't he going to see that coming a mile away?"
>Shining shrugs and takes out his PEZ dispenser.
>"Maybe, but what if he thinks he's coming after me?"
>The head, kind of looks like him.
>Freaky.
>"If he thinks the dispenser is me, off on my own, won't he come after it?"
"Yeah, but there's no guarantee that he will."
>"Do you have another idea?"
>No.
>You glare anyway.
"That's a really stupid idea."
>"This entire game is stupid."
"Good point."
>Turning his head towards the ceiling of spearmint, Shining uses his magic to throw the net and PEZ up towards them.
>The bells stop ringing for a moment.
>And then go straight after the flying candy
>What the hell?
>The two of you follow the chimes with your ears, listening as it approaches the trap.
>A flash of red and white light hits the decoy.
>Which promptly explodes.
"WHAT!?"
>Shining's jaw drops nearly as fast as Mr. Mint does, the long-limbed slasher rolling about on the ground and grasping at his face with a howl of pain.
>Bits and pieces of what's left of the liquorice net drift down, disappearing as they hit the ground.
>So much for the plan.
>But it doesn't look like the game is over yet.
>Mint's rolled over onto his belly and is crawling towards you.
>Ah, of course, the monster is all but invincible.
"Shining."
>You hold out two of the jawbreakers.
"Why don't you throw these at the trees with your magic? We can pin him underneath his own forest."
>The perplexed Prince looks between you and the candy, then smiles and nods.
>"That sounds good to me."
>There's a flash of magic from his horn and-
>Crack!
>Crack!
>Several trees groan before falling inward, each landing on top of the intended target and pinning him to the ground.
>Mr. Mint thrashes about, his pale white face contorted in fury, pain, and tard strength.
>Taking the third jawbreaker, you walk forward and drop it on his head.
>Mint's thrashing stops abruptly as a crack runs down his face and then crumbles into the minty ground, leaving behind a card.
>Stooping down, you pick it up and smile at Shining.
"I think this one's yours."
>The unicorn offers a small smile and takes it with his magic.
>"Appreciated, Anonymous. What color do you think it is?"
"Red, probably."
>"Like your Fireball?"
"And the liquorice."
>Waving your hand, you laugh.
"Honestly, I'll pass on ever drawing that again, thanks."
>"If you're sure."
>The two of you fall silent before you go and pick up the card from one of the fallen ponies.
"Come on, let's go get the others and collect the cards."
>The Prince makes a small sound before frowning and leading the way.
>From the looks of things, it's going to be a long night.
>But, if nothing else, you’ve learned three important things:
>You can depend on Shining to be creative in a pinch.
>Any card you draw can be useful
>And PEZ is too OP.