A taste of happiness

>be (You) anonymous
>life is pretty boring
>got stuck into the wage cage since you left high school a decade ago
>a good chunk of your spare time is used cooking meals for one and watching stupid shit on the internet
>As such you had to get yourself a hobby to not go mad
>that hobby involves posing as a young 17 year old version of yourself on a ‘teen meeting’ site
>its complete bullshit by the way
>Your morbid curiosity made you use it for shits and giggles
>Your paranoia however makes sure its a public area in the day
>theres been more then a few messages for meeting in private
>You have your account set to public so it automatically pairs you with ‘similar’ people
>basically anyone in a 10-mile radius
>Needless to say the encounters have been priceless
>a good chunk of the time its someone way older then they said they were
>One time it was some old lady literally called granny smith
>She was kinda hilarious though, in that wierd old lady way
>and some times it was a dude
>The surprising thing is that they showed up at all since you aren’t catfishing as a girl
>You usually nope’d out of those encounters very quickly
>although one occasion the dude was a total bro
>you both had a laugh when it turned out you had similar goals and shared stories of your exploits
>he was also a total fag, but still a cool fag nonetheless
>Anyways this brings you to your latest meetup
>a ‘girl’ that goes by the username ‘pinkponk4lyfe’
>Her profile was like something out of a cartoon
>likes-fun, parties, cupcakes, balloons, cakes, candy, pink, fun cupcake parties... and so on.
>dislikes- sadness, frowns, fake parties, meanies, and pretty much anything negative
>She goes to the nearby canterlot school according to her profile
>Then when it got to the about me section is when it really just read like a fever dream
>it was all over the top txtspeech, full of emojis, txtfaces, abbreviations, and such about her
>You stopped reading past the first paragraph
>anyways you decided why the hell not
>either its some dude who takes his female persona to a whole other level, or an extremely autistic woman
>either way you already decided on meeting each other at the canterlot mall plaza
>nice open area full of benches and people, with one of those indoor fountains and large pots with small trees
>you are currently looking at your bargain bin smartphone to mindlessly distract you
>if her profile isn’t completely fake then she will have bright pink hair
>it should go without saying that pink hair stands out
>So you feel pretty comfortable distracting yourself
>in the corner of your eye you see bright pink so you look up to find
>nothing pink
>huh
>before you can turn back to face your phone in your hands a pair of hands cover your eyes
>”Guess who!”
>well shit either its a woman with a really high pitched voice or a guy with really good falsetto
>well might as well have some fun
“bane?”
>”no silly try again!”
“hmm... can you give me a hint?”
>”sure! I’m the best party planner in all of canterlot, and maybe even the WORLD!”
“hmm... doesn’t ring a bell.”
>”really?! Well I also make the best cupcakes in the known and unknown universe!”
“yeah I still don’t have a single clue”
>”hmmph! This is your final hint! I really really REALLY like pink!”
“Oh I know now. Is this ponkpinkforever?”
>”eeeeh. close enough.”
>she finally releases your eyes and you take the opportunity to turn around and face your mystery guest
>and holy crap what is that outfit
>and double crap its the girl in the profile pic
”Uhhhh. cool duds my dude?”
>”Glad you like em! these are my hangout clothes. For hanging out. Are those your hangout clothes?”
>you are still coming to terms to the image before you
“yeah sure they are”
>”hmm... oh I know!”
>she digs in her hair and pulls out another pair of shutter shades and puts them on you
>“There we go! now you are at least 20% percent cooler!” she says before breaking out into mad (madder?) giggles
“What’s so funny?”
>”hehe you wouldn’t get it.”
>ok then. You should really get out of this situation. You weren’t suppose to meet an actual teenager on these shady ass sites.
“So uhh bad news. It turns out theres something really important I have to do. So I can’t hang out.”
>immediately her face becomes serious and she quickly swaps out her hat and glasses for a pink detective hat and magnifying glass from her hair
>how much crap does she keep in it?
>”Are you lying?”
“No, lying is my least favorite thing to do,” you say lying through your teeth
>this only gets her to get closer to your face with the glass, her magnified eye piercing you
>”You said its your least favorite thing but that doesn’t mean you aren’t lying!”
>crap
>”And actually now that I think about it you look kinda different from your profile picture”
>She pulls out her phone and pulls up your profile pic and looks at you before looking at her phone
>”Your hair is neater, your face is brighter, and!” she exclaims while pulling off your shutter glasses, “Your eyes are more full of life!”
>ouch
>”It’s almost like your picture is a younger version of yourself... unless!” she says with dramatic zeal
>”You used photoshop didn’t you! My friend Rarity always says you need to use photo magic to make yourself look better then you really do but I always tell her ‘Rarity that’s not true I like how you look all the time’, but she says ‘darling I know you do but a little extra never hurts’,” she says making a mockery of a high class voice
>”So am I right or am I right?”
“Yeah you caught me. I used photoshop.”
>”Is that why you wanted to leave? to hide your shame?! because theres nothing wrong with how you look,” she says getting close and giving you a hug
>holy shit this is a strong hug
“yeah thats why”
>she hugs you even tighter
>you’ll need some bone-healing juice after this
>”Well don’t worry your newest bestest friend Pinkie Pie will never ever judge you.”
>She finally relinquishes you from her unbreakable grasp before grabbing your hand
>”Now lets go have some fun!”
>before you can protest she pulls you off the bench and you barely manage to keep your footing as she tugs you through the mall
>You can feel eyes on you and even hear a few laughs and you don’t like it one bit
>Unfortunately her iron grasp on your hand ensures you cannot escape without biting your own arm off
>thankfully she finally stops to a standstill causing you to bump into her but she stands firm as she lets go of your hand
>”This my friend is the best place to have fun in the mall. I present to you, the Space Warzone.”
>She flourishes with her arms towards the entrance
>”alright now lets go!”
>you are once again back to being dragged until your standing in front of a bored looking teenager running the front
>she begins ringing the bell incessantly catching the guy’s attention
>”hey can you- oh. It’s you Pinkie.”
>She’s still ringing the bell
>”yeah I’m gonna just take that”
>he pulls the bell away from her
>”Anyways I guess your here for a round of laser tag with this... guy?”
>he looks at you then at pinkie before shrugging
>”Yep! This is my new friend Anonymous! nonners for short.”
>you did not agree to that nickname
>”Yeah ok. you got your pass?”
>”Right here!” she says smacking down a card with her face on it
>”Alright then head over to the red door. We are running duos deathmatch.”
>she only thumbs up before once again dragging you away
>you give the teen a pleading look but he just laughs
>fuck him
>”Now nonners remember this is war! No mercy! Now show me your war face!”
>Is this real life
>”Now nonners how are you suppose to strike fear in the hearts of men with a face like that. Here let me show you mine.”
>She messes with her hair until its straightened and she gives you a serious look
>where does everything go now?
>”Now listen closely private nonners. Out there its hell, but you only need to remind yourself of one thing and one thing only! We are not trapped in here with them, they are trapped in here with us! Now show me your war face!”
>You do your best
>”Thats much better! Now time to suit up and gear up!”
>She leads you to the lockers where the laser tag gear is located
>its all stuff that can be worn over clothes luckily
>As for the weapons theres a bit of diversity
>laser pistols, laser rifles, laser snipers, and even laser trishots
>theres even ‘laser blades’ that look like knockoff lightsabers
>pinkie readily grabs two pistols and straps a laser blade to her torso piece
>You decide to go for the basic rifle and also take a blade because why the hell not
>After that she leads you to the starting zone for your team
>For the most part the arena looks pretty neat, plenty of repurposed objects and walls for cover and such
>Its all given a paint design that screams ‘futuristic’
>The rules are pretty straightforward too. 3 hits and your out for the round, with the exception of the ‘laser blade’ which counts as all 3 hits
>Its best of 5 with 4 teams of 2
>They don’t bust out the larger teams unless its busy
>Solid Pinkie is pretending to sneak around with her blade out in one hand and pistol in the other
>You do your best to pull yourself together. You might as well try to have some fun here.
>Before you know it a countdown plays on the center monitor
>Round 1 starts now
>Pinkie immediately rushes out and you do your best to follow her
>Its obvious she is very familiar with the arena as she leads you through
>eventually she catches her first pair of victims off guard
>They turn once they hear her rushing towards them but by then its too late, her blade ‘slicing’ into their chestpieces
>the two let out annoyed sighs and head back
>It didn’t take long for pinkie to make quick work of the rest
>You even managed to land a few shots so you weren’t completely useless
>However the next round the other teams were on high alert
>Specifically looking for anything pink
>You and pinkie are taking cover and peeking out by a wall looking at one team standing in a good vantage point
>She takes an exaggerated sniff
>”You smell that nonners? Thats fear. We already won the war in their minds.”
“So what do we do now?”
>”Simple my dear nonners. I’m going to get their attention while you go around and flank them.”
>she puts her hands on your shoulders
>”Its time to show them what you’re made of.”
>She gives you a light shove
>”Now go. The signal is cupcakes.”
>You nod and head around the wall to the other end
>You got visual on the two from here and so you wait for the signal
>”This is my world cupcakes! You are not welcome in my world!”
>Sure enough you can see the two starting to take shots
>You take out your laser blade and start sneaking up on them, doing your best to channel pinkie’s tactics
>As soon as you are close enough you rush towards them
>They are laser focused on pinkie and didn’t notice you until you slashed them
>”goddamn it not again.”
>You only smile at that as they head back
>Pinkie is already rushing to your side
>"Great job private! I kne-"
>She’s cut off at multiple shots hit her
>Her eyes widen before she falls on her knees and reaches towards you
>She slumps over, her eyes closing slowly
>if it weren’t for your mind reminding you this was a game you would honestly think she died
>You get a hold of yourself and take cover as you hear footsteps
>”Great job! Its really hard to take out the pink menace from what everyone said.”
>”What can I say, I’m just too smart for my own good.”
>”Anyways wheres the other one?”
>”Who cares. It’s obvious this one was carrying him.”
>You are kinda getting angry
>fuck these two
>You rush out of cover, rifle leveled at where you heard them
>You quickly gun down one of them, the other rushing behind a obstacle
>you don’t let up, making your way towards the other side of the obstacle
>Now its all mind games
>You do your best to focus on hearing him
>Sure enough you can hear soft footsteps leading to your right
>You sidle slowly to the end, pulling out your knock-off lightsaber
>wait for it
>Now!
>You quickly stab around the bend, hitting your mark dead center.
>”Really man, why use a saber in a lazer fight.”
>You just smirk your smuggest smirk and walk away
>Round Over
>You head over to pinkie who is still playing dead
>you kneel down and start poking her cheek
“Come on we still got a war to fight.”
>She blinks her eyes at then looks at you
>”Then give me a hand already”
>You grab her hand and she easily bounces to her feet and gives you a shoulder hug
>”That was an amazing attack!”
“Thanks, I learned from the best,” you say jokingly
>She lets out a giggle before going into serious mode
>”We win one more battle and we win the war. We got this!”
>Her excitement is infectious
“Yeah we do!”
>The both of you head back to the starting zone full of confidence
>The next batch of rounds was a cakewalk
>You finally got a hang of Pinkie’s style, the two of you working in sync to take out the enemy
>It is the most fun you have had in a very long time
>Your worries leave you easily as you catch sight of pinkies beaming grin
>As you wrap up the final round you wipe the sweat off your brow
>”Well it looks like you are no longer Private nonners, now you are officially Corporal nonners”
>She gives you a salute and you give it back
>The moment ends when she starts laughing and you start laughing yourself
>”Now its time to celebrate!”
>Without prompting her hair poofs back up, confetti flying out of it
>Will you ever learn the secrets of her hair?
>The two of you quickly put away your gear and head out into the mall proper
>Once again she leads you by the arm but this time you manage to keep up
>This time you are taken to a candy shop called Sugar Rush
>”This is the best candy shop in Canterlot! They got all the candy you could ever need!”
>She skips her way to the cashier, a girl with with two-toned pink and blue hair
>”Hiya Bon-Bon! or Sweetie Drops? Bon Drops? Sweetie-Bon?!”
>”It’s nice to see you too Pinkie,” she says in a way that makes you think she is lying
>She also gives you a look but is content with ignoring you after that
>Pinkie pulls up to the counter to get face-to-face with the girl
>”I’ll have my usual. As for my friend nonners here he will have...”
>She looks at your face scrutinizingly before turning back
>”A extra large dark chocolate almond bar.”
>How could she tell your favorite from looking at you?
>”Ok then. That’ll be-“
>Shes cut off by Pinkie Pie’s finger
>”Don’t worry I already have all the prices memorized! Now heres your money.”
>She puts down an assortment of bills and coins which Bon Bon counts before nodding
>”Yeah thats all of it. Heres your candy.”
>She puts down a large bag filled to the brim with candy and a smaller bag holding a single chocolate bar
>”Sweet!” pinkie exclaims before taking her bag and handing you the bar
>She makes her way out and you follow beside her while she stuffs her face with a handful of candy
>Now you know why she is so hyper all the time
>She heads to a bench and takes a seat and patting the spot next to her
>You take your seat and start nibbling on your bar as you watch her demolish what has to be 4 pounds of sugar
>You can feel yourself getting diabetes just by looking at her
>where does it all go?
>By the time you finish off your bar her bag is emptied, her face smeared with sugary dust and a look of complete satisfaction on her face
>”Now that hit the spot.”
“Yeah that chocolate bar was pretty tasty. How did you know thats what I liked?”
>”Its a secret to everyone. Including me!”
>She giggles
>”Sometimes I call it my Pinkie Sense, but maybe I should call it Pinkie Nonsense,” she says with a wink
>You give her a small chuckle
“So what now?”
>”Hmmmm...”
>She takes a thinking man pose
>”Maybe- Nah. Or maybe we- oh but that won’t work. Theres also that but where will we find the whipped cream?”
>Whipped cream?
>Pinkie stops rambling to herself and shrugs
>”I got nothin’. You got any idea nons?”
“Not really. These hangouts usually don’t last that long.”
>”Really? This is my first time using Hangoutz, I was really curious to see what new friends I could make.”
>You shrug
“That’s the thing Pinkie, you normally don’t get matched up with people who match their profiles”
>”What?!”
“Yeah. A lot of the times I met up with people its usually someone way different from what they say they are.”
>She gasps loudly
>”People do that? Just go on the Internet and lie about themselves?"
>Is she really this unaware?
“They do it all the time. Heck, some people have built entire social media lives based on nothing but lies. You are the first person I have met in person that actually matches their profile.”
>”But why? Don’t they know that in order to make friends you only have to be yourself?!”
>You barely hold back a sarcastic laugh at that
“Apparently not. Theres even been some instances where they get caught trying to scam people by making up fake sob stories. Some of these people have no limits.”
>”Wowie Zowie.”
>She looks like she just learned the secret of the universe and simultaneously wishes she could forget it
“Thats one way to put it.”
>”But at least you don’t do that right nonners? Sure you look a bit different but thats just photo magic right? Right?!”
>Aw shit
>Honestly you should just tell the truth
>No way you can get away with hanging out with a teenager forever, eventually someone is gonna call you out
>might as well get it over with
”Its not photo magic Pinkie.”
>Loud gasp
”I’m not 17 years old, I’m 28.”
>Louder gasp
“that profile pic is from when I was still going to high school.”
>Loudest gasp yet
“So now what?”
>”You’re not the man I thought you were nonners!”
>Welp here we go
>”I have no other choice nonners.”
>at least today was fun
>”You are no longer my friend nonners.”
>and there it is
>you decide to take your leave but before you can you are tugged back
>”I’m not finished! You are no longer friend nonners, now your my friend old man nonnerson!”
>what?
>she can read your face clearly
>”What? did you really think that I wouldn’t be your friend anymore just because of that?! That would just be an incredibly contrived method to adding angst to this sweet story!”
“what?”
>”Don’t worry about it,” she says nonchalantly
>”But still! You became my friend the moment you said my clothes were cool,” she says gesturing to her get-up
>You were kinda being sarcastic but you decide not to mention that
>”My friend Rainbow Dash is all about cool and she also said I looked very cool. So only good friends can tell how cool this is!”
>you are sure that isn’t how that works
>”Plus you went all rambo on those guys in the match. That was really cool!” she said mimicking blasting an invisible rifle, complete with pew pew sounds
“But Pinkie I’m still older then you.”
>She just shrugs
>”So what if you’re not a teenager, theres nothing wrong with being friends with people older then you.”
>she pulls out her phone again and opens up a Mystable profile of a bored looking little girl
>”See this is my friend lilypad. I babysat her a few times and at first she was all bored and uninterested but now we are good friends. She even sends me memes!”
>She shoves the phone in your face to show you a meme
>Its a picture of a angry wing-flapping duck chasing a dog with the caption ‘Now you quacked up!’
>You chuckle a little but get serious soon after
“It’s not the same Pinkie.”
>”Why not?”
“I’m an adult. I pay taxes, work a boring job, and rent a cheap old apartment. You and Lily are still kids so its fine for you two to connect.”
>”And who says I can’t connect with you huh?”
“Society Pinkie. We got lucky today but eventually someone is going to notice a grown man hanging out with a teenager still in high school and start asking questions. And unlike you and Lily I don’t have the excuse of being a babysitter. Best case scenario I lie about being a distant relative but I really doubt anyone would believe that.”
>”Who cares what ‘society’ thinks,” she says with extensive finger quotes and eyerolling
>”All that matters is what I think. And I think you are a great friend.”
>Once again your bones are crushed in a hug
>You are starting to enjoy it however
>you just sigh
“Pinkie eventually rumors will spread. People will start sticking their noses in our business. You got family right? You think they will approve of this?”
>she just lets out a gasp and releases your poor bones
>”Thats a perfect idea nonnerson!”
“What is?”
>”You can meet my family silly. If they like you, and I’m sure they will, then you won’t be such a worrying worrywart anymore right?”
>Sounds like a disaster in the making
>But a nagging part of you really doesn’t want to let go of your friendship with this sugary sweet girl
>The irrational part of you
>fuck it in for a penny in for a pound
“Fine. I’ll meet them. But if they pull out a weapon I’m out.”
>”Oh nonners you kidder, they don’t need weapons to hurt people.”
“well that’s reassuring.”
>she just laughs
>”Everythings going to be AOK nons. Just trust good ol’ Pinkie Pie.”
>You probably just signed your own death warrant
>Oh well
“So when should we do the uh... meet-up?”
>She gets up and grabs your arm
>”Right now silly billy!”
“wait what?!”
>”We gotta strike while the irons hot! Plus its still afternoon so nows a perfect opportunity to meet them.”
“But shouldn’t I dress up or something?” you ask trying to come up with an excuse to not do this today
>”You look fine non-non, they won’t mind.”
>Once again you find yourself being dragged, this time to what is most assuredly doom as you are pulled out of the mall and towards the streets
“Alright alright fine but we have to take my car.”
>She lets go of your arm
>”Why didn’t you say you had a car?”
“I didn’t really think it mattered. I usually don’t go anywhere else in these meet-ups.”
>”Well this is just dandy. Now you can take us straight to my home on the triple.”
“Yeah I guess. Just follow me I parked it over here.”
>she salutes you before skipping towards you
>”oooh is that your car?”
“nope.”
>”what about that one?”
No pinkie. Trust me you’ll know it when you see it.”
>As you pass various cars in the parking lot you finally reach yours
>Your good ol’ wagemobile
>A beat up jalopy that is in desperate need of fresh paint
>but hell it was affordable and it runs so who cares
“Here it is. Ain’t she a beaut?” you say gesturing to the ugly thing that is your car
>”Not really!,” she exclaims in her usual bubbly tone
“Yeah its crap. But it works.”
>you unlock the driver-side door, go in and open the passenger door
“Hop right in.”
>she does in facf hops right in, jostling your car
“Alright then. So can you tell me your address?” you inquire while pulling out your phone
>“I sure can! Its 475 Parkway Ave.”
“Alright. 475 Parkway Ave,” you repeat to yourself as you input it into your phone’s map
“And there it is. This won’t take that long.”
>You start up your car
“So you should probably give them a heads up. So they know I’m coming over yeah?”
>”Nah, they love surprises!”
“Yeah but I still think you should call ahead.”
>”Alright fine, but only because I can tell it worries you.”
>She pulls out her phone and calls someone
>”Hiya Limey! No everything went really well! Actually thats why I’m calling. Yeah I’m bringing him over how could you tell? Yeah he’s a guy. Whats wrong with bringing a guy over? Don’t worry he’s not a meanie. Ooh rock soup? That sounds good. Alright see you soon buh-bye!.”
>She puts away her phone
>”See nothing to worry about.”
“Alright then I guess.”
>You put all your focus on driving to what might be the last mistake you might ever make
>But your just being melodramatic right?
>You feel a squeeze on your shoulder
>”You really need to worry less nonners. Its not good for your health you know?”
“I’m just a bit anxious is all. Don’t really want to mess this up.”
>”Just be the you I know you are and everything will be okie dokie.”
>She gives you a wide smile which helps you calm down a bit
“Thanks Pinkie.”
>”No problemo nonnerito,” she says with a incredibly bad accent
>You laugh, Pinkie joining you right after
>Before you know it you find yourself in front a rather nice normal looking home, your gps telling you reached your destination
>Honestly you wouldn’t had been surprised if she lived in a gingerbread house
>”Home sweet home.”
“It looks pretty good. Definitely better then my place.”
>You park the car and Pinkie immediately bounces out and around
>”Come on nonners, the future awaits us!”
“Alright alright, just give me a moment.”
>You get out of the car, Pinkie again tugging you to her front door
>Once you get there She incessantly rings the doorbell
>”Coming!” says a rough voice from within
>she still keeps ringing it
>The door slams open just barely missing Pinkie
>”I SAID I’- Oh of course.”
>”You have your key right Pinkie?”
>”Right!”
>”And you know you what the key is for?”
>”Yep!”
>”Then why do you INSIST on ringing the doorbell!” she exclaims, her rage palpable
>”I like the way it sounds.”
>She looks like she is about to blow up but she manages to contain herself at the last second
>”Fine fine. You aren’t doing me any favors Pinkie, its way too early for this.”
>”So is this your new frie-“
>She cuts herself off as she gets a look at you
>”Pinkie, you want to exclaim why theres a grown-ass man behind you?”
>”Thats the friend I told you about silly.”
>”The friend? The one you were gonna meet up from some sketchy online site? The one you said was age 17?!”
>”Yessir!”
>”Pinkie. Does he look 17?”
>Pinkie gives an exasperated sigh
>”Oh we already went through this. He's actually 28, and yes he lied, but no he didn’t lie to trick me. Come on Limey you really think I would bring a bad guy to our house.”
>”It didn’t stop you from letting a raccoon in.”
>”Jeez I thought we got past that already. Plus nonners isn’t a raccoon.”
>”Yeah because some random man you met online is so much better.”
“Hey.”
>That grabs their attention
>”What do YOU have to say?”
“Look I know this is strange and all, but the whole reason I’m here is because I wanted to introduce and explain myself.”
>Pinkie nods encouragingly
>”Go on.”
”So yeah what Pinkie said is all true. I usually do these meet-ups because I like being surprised. You don’t meet the person you see on their profile often.”
>”Shocker”
“So I was really surprised when this sugar-powered Pink girl showed up,” you say gesturing to Pinkie, “I was kinda iffy on the whole thing after that but she can be really persistent.”
>”Don’t I know it.”
“So she takes me, forcefully, to the Laser tag place at the mall, and well. We became friends after that,” you say not wanting to go into extensive detail
>”Just like that huh,” she says crossing her arms
“Pretty much. I mean the time we spent there was some of the most fun I had. That’s why I hope that by showing up I won’t have to let go of that.”
>She looks pensively after that
>”You know what. Fine. You can come in. Pinkie take him to the dining table Marble should have set everything.”
>Pinkie salutes then marches in
>You try to follow but a strong arm catches you by the shoulder
>”This doesn’t mean your off the hook. I still want to have a chat. Me and you.”
“That’s fair. Thanks for giving me a chance.”
>she looks away
>”Yeah yeah. Now come in before I change my mind.”
>You go in and immediately a familiar hand tugs you
>”Good job non-non. I was almost worried.”
“Yeah I was too honestly.”
>”Anyways, off to the dining room!”
>You are led, to no surprise, to the dining room. There are already 5 seats set up with bowls of some kind of stew.”
>There are also two more girls sitting next to each other on one side of the table
>One of them gives you a glance before turning her attention to a small rock besides her bowl
>The other also gave you a glance and gasps when you catch her doing it, turning to face her bowl
>Pinkie takes a seat opposite of them and you decide to take the seat besides her
>You gotta admit this is by far the most awkward you have felt in a long time
>Eventually Limey (Is that her full name?) comes in and takes the seat at the head of the table
>”Alright. So I’m sure You are all wondering why this guy is here.”
>The shy one nods
>”Boulder has been asking non-stop,” the other says in a monotone voice
>”Well this is the guy Pinkie was telling us all about. The one on that site that she was going to make friends with.”
>The shy one gives a questioning look
>”Boulder is wondering why he looks to be older then 17.”
>”There was a misunderstanding. Anyways despite that Pinkie still managed to do what she always does.”
>You were not expecting he to cover for you but you won’t say no to it
>”Anyways lets get introductions out of the way. I’m Limestone Pie. I’m in charge here.”
>”I’m Maud and this is Boulder,” She says gesturing to the rock, “I’m currently attending Canterlot University for a geology degree. I like rocks.”
“Rocking.”
>“ha. Good one.”
>You will never be able to tell if she is mocking you
>You turn your attention to the quiet one, who actively avoids your gaze
>You hear her say something but its too soft to catch
“Couldn’t quite hear yah there.”
>Once again she murmurs too softly to catch
>Limestone decides to intervene
>”We’ll be here all day if you keep trying to get her to talk louder. That’s Marble Pie.”
>”Ah Marble then?”
>She lets out a soft mhm
“Lovely name.”
>She blushes and looks away
>”Alrighty then everyone is all introduced so lets chow down!”
“Hey Pinkie what is this?” you ask stopping pinkie mid-eating
>”It’s Rock Soup, an ol’ Pie classic!”
>Taking a look at the soup it does in fact look like theres rocks in it
>Welp might as well give it a go
>Using your spoon you scoop up a rock
>You bring it to your mouth and tentatively give it a bite
>It’s hard but there is some give to the ‘rock’
>You bite harder and successfully bite it in half
>Chewing it it tastes like a biscuit of some kind
>A really hard biscuit
>The spicy flavor of the soup blends well with it
>”So how is it huh?”
>You finish chewing before responding
“Best soup I have ever tasted. Who made it?”
>”Marble of course! She does most of the cooking here.”
“Well this is delicious Marble.”
>She just smiles before going back to eating
>You decide to do the same
>Looking at Pinkie you see her devour her bowl in one go while Maud appears to be feeding boulder
>It isn’t long before you ask for a second bowl
>In no time you are completely stuffed
“Well I cannot eat another bite.”
>”Me neither!”
>”Boulder and I are sated.”
>”mhm”
>Taking a look at the clock its around 6:30 already
>Time flew quickly today
>You get out your chair and stretch your limbs a bit
“Well it was nice to meet you all but I think its time for me to go. I got work tomorrow.”
>”Aww you can’t leave yet nonners. Tonight’s movie night!”
>”Yeah plus you and me still have to have that chat. Pinkie set up the living room. I’m be taking ‘nonners’ for now.”
>Once again you are dragged, this time by a much rougher hand
>Maybe dragging people runs in the family
>She leads you to the master bedroom, where a plaque with her name hangs
>She opens the door roughly and the two of you enter
>”She lets go of you and takes a seat on her bed facing you
>”So. Lets get a few things straight. If you do anything to hurt Pinkie I will break you. Understood?”
>”Yeah,” you respond with minimal fear
>”If you try to do anything inappropriate to Pinkie, or any of my sisters, the same thing applies.”
“Never crossed my mind,” you say with minimal lying
>”Good. When I reached adulthood ma and pa put me as the head of this household. Which also means I’m in charge of protecting my family. Now thats a tall order, but I guess you can tell that much right?”
“Yeah. I mean I’m pretty sure no other teenager would had hung out with some guy.”
>”Of course not. But Pinkie will be Pinkie. Which always worries me. I don’t worry too much about Maud, she might not look like it but she could crush stones with her bare hands. As for Marble she’s too sheltered in her ways. But in the end they are my family, and no one hurts Limestone Pie’s family, capiche?”
“Yeah I get it. I mean I was never really particularly close with my family but I always liked the idea.”
>She looks you in the eyes
>”Do you want to talk about it?”
>You shrug
“Not much to say. I had three brothers and we were all competing for our parents’ attention.”
“Maybe you could tell but I ended up in last place. I moved out at eighteen and never looked back.”
>”That’s rough. Our parents are strict but fair. They never stifled Pinkie’s eccentricities or pushed Marble out of her comfort zone.”
>Yeah you should change the topic
“So where are your parents anyways. In all honesty that’s what worried me the most when I got here.”
>”They are expanding the family business. They run a handful of quarries and are trying to open another one in Griffonstone.”
“Oh. I heard that the people of griffonstone are hard to make deals with.”
>”Yeah but ma and pa are very persistent. They are making headway from the letters we get here.”
“I see.”
>Limestone gets up
>”Well I think we are done here. Just one last thing. Your number and address.”
“How forward.”
>She scowls at that and looks away
>was that red?
>”Not like that moron. I know Pinkie and eventually she is going to want to have a party at your house. She’s done it with all her other friends. I’ll feel much more comfortable if I had your information before that.”
“Oh. All right then.”
>You give her the information
>”Great. Well lets go then I’m sure Pinkie is waiting for us impatiently.”
>Once again you are led out and towards the living room
>In the living room is a comfy looking couch and armchair along with a large mounted TV
>A standard wooden coffee table completes the set-up with a large bowl of buttery popcorn on top
>Maud and Marble are already on the couch
>But wheres Pinkie?
>”I’m right here nonners!”
>You barely resist jumping as she yells behind you
“Oh. Okay then.”
>”You and Limey were taking so long. Everythings been ready forever,” she says whiningly
>She pushes you towards the armchair and you find yourself seated soon after
>Looking at the couch you see Limestone seated on the couch with her sisters
>”Now lets watch my favorite movie ‘Stormy With a Side of Pudding’!”
>”Pinkie no. We must have seen that move at least a hundred times”
>”A hundred and seven times,” interjects Maud
>Marble just looks bored
>”Well I bet non-non hasn’t watched it yet!”
“Yeah I haven’t se-“
>”See? Will you really deprive him of the joy of watching the best movie ever?!”
>You can see Limestone getting irritated so you butt in
“Pinkie we can watch it another day. Let’s watch a movie that everyone here can enjoy.”
>”Humph. Fine but I’m holding you to it,” she says with a pout
>Looking at the tv screen you can see she had it ready to go on quickflix
“Great. So what should we watch?”
>”How about you choose since you’re our guest.”
“Alright give me the remote.”
>Pinkie begrudgingly gives you the remote and you open up the search bar
>Hopefully they have what you’re looking for
>Found it
“Academy of Rock is one of my all-time favorites,” you say as you press play
>”Movies with rocks are always good.”
“Not exactly that kind of rock maud.”
>”Oh.”
>Looking at Pinkie still standing you realize theres no more room on the couch
“Hey Pinkie you got a extra seat?”
>She smirks
>”Yep. Theres a seat right here!”
>Before you can protest she launches herself onto your lap
>You can see Limestone glaring at you and you try your best to convey that you didn’t mean for this to happen
>Granted you aren’t complaining either
>Before you know it Pinkie has the two of you wrapped up in a blanket
>”There, all nice and comfy.”
>You gotta admit, its been a while since you been this close to someone
>seeing as limestone can’t see unless she has x-ray vision you wrap your arms around the cotton candy girl’s waist
>Pinkie only leans into your grasp
>A warm feeling overtakes you and you relax into your seat and begin watching the movie
>It’s just as good as you remember it
>Before you know it the movie is almost over
>Pinkie is captivated
>you realize this is the perfect opportunity
>Slowly you unwrap your left arm
>Then you gently move your hand up at a snail’s pace
>There. Now all you have to do is slip in your hand
>You do it as softly as possible to not disturb her
>Now you can finally now find out more about Pinkie’s hair
>You saw how it held hats and glasses. How it became completely flat only to poof up into a cloud of confetti
>You move your hand deeper into the wispy cloud-like hair, feeling around for any of the items she hid within
>You don’t find anything so you go deeper
>and deeper
>...and deeper?
>You are elbow deep, which makes no sense
>Her hair wasn’t that poofy was it?
>You should have reach her scalp by now
>You move even deeper trying to feel around for anything
>Wait what is that?
>You felt something but you can’t find it again
>You go even deeper
>none of this makes sense
>You try to go deeper but then suddenly you feel something grab your hand
>Nopenopenope-
>You pull your arm out quickly causing whatever grasped you to let go
>Pinkie lets out a giggle
>Maybe some secrets are better left alone
>You let the movie distract you from what will hopefully become a forgotten memory
>Eventually the credits roll
“Well? What did you all think of that?”
>”It was pretty funny, I’ll give you that much.”
>”I found it humorous as well.”
>You are pretty sure you didn’t hear Maud laugh once
>Marble just gives you a shy smile
“So how bout you ponk?”
>She isn’t responding so you lean your head over
>Oh she is asleep
“Well uh. I wasn’t expecting this.”
>”Yeah she usually doesn’t fall asleep during movie nights. Well come on then.”
“What?”
>”Well you can carry her right. I’ll show you where her room is.”
“Oh got it.”
>Being careful not to jostle her you pick her up as you get out from the seat as the blanket falls to the floor
>She looks really beautiful in her rest
>Limestone starts moving so you follow her to a heavily decorated door
>She opens the door for you
>”Go drop her on her bed. Normally Pinkie takes care of cleaning up but since she’s asleep I’ll have to do it.”
“Alright.”
>Entering her room you take precaution to not bump her against the doorway
>Her room is actually pretty tame which isn’t what you were expecting
>She has a nicer set-up then you do at your place thats for sure
>You stop examining her room and put her down on her bed
>You take the liberty to cover her with her blanket
>Well that’s that time to go
>You start walking away but you are tugged back
>nonners wait,” she said groggily
>”I-“
>She lets out loud yawn before smacking her lips
>”I still don’t have your number.”
“Limestone has my number, you can ask her for it. You should rest.”
>”Oh is there something I should know?” she asked teasingly
“It’s not like that,” you sputter out
>”Oh okie dokie I’ll remember to ask her. So one final last thing before you go. On a scale to one to ten how funtastic was your day.”
“Eleven. Now good night Ponks.”
>She smiles widely before yawning again
>”Nighty... night.”
>She falls fast asleep
>Being careful to not make too much noise you head out the door and close it gently
>You make your way back to the living room, seeing the pie sisters wrapping things up
“So I think this is my cue to leave, unless you need anything?
>”Nah we can handle this. You can go.”
“Alright. Bye girls it was nice meeting all of you. And you too boulder.”
>”Yeah I’m sure we’ll be seeing you again knowing Pinkie.”
>”Goodbye Anonymous. Boulder wishes you well.”
>Marble just gives you a small wave goodbye
>You make your way out the house making sure to lock the door behind you
>Well that went much better then you ever expected
>But you need to really start making your way home. You got work early in the morning tomorrow.
>Checking your phone you see its already 9 p.m
>You’ll just go straight to bed tonight
>You get into the wagemobile and start it up
>Setting up your phone you start the ride back to your apartment
>It’s doesn’t take longer then 20 minutes to reach the rundown building
>You park your car and head to the entrance
>From there you make your way up the stairs. Theres an elevator but it’s been broken well before you moved in.
>You ignore the grimy walls and definitely keep your hands away from the guardrails
>Sluggishly you make it to your floor and move down the thin hallway
>And there it is
>Good ol’ apartment 404
>You pull out your key and jitter with the keyhole until it unlocks
>Giving it a good shove you open it up
>Your 1-room apartment is as empty and lonely as usual
>You go to the bathroom and take care of all the business you need to do
>Finally you are ready to sleep
>You turn off the lights
>Using your phone light you head to your twin bed in the corner of the room and lay yourself down
>You do your best to get comfortable
>Time to sleep
>Your blaring phone alarm wakes you up in record time
>5 A.M time to get ready for work
>You take care of bathroom business first
>Then you head to the kitchen and quickly fry some eggs and ham and toast some bread while also making a simple ham and cheese sandwich
>A easy breakfast sandwich is also easily devoured
>With a disposable sandwich bag you wrap up the spare sandwich
>Your future lunch
>You find yourself in front of your closet soon after and pull out your bland uniform shirt and pants
>In record time you are ready for another day of the rest of your life
>5:30 A.M, just enough time to head to work by six
>You leave your apartment and head down the stairs easily
>Your trusty steed in all its glory awaits you
>You start her up and make the familiar route to your personal purgatory
>Barnyard Bargains wholesale
>A large warehouse store owned by a wealthy man whose name only emphasizes how wealthy he is
>You been coming here for 6 years straight
>Still only a cashier assistant
>but it could be worse, probably
>You get out of your clunker and start the walk into the maw of the beast
>Sure enough there are others around you but you don’t bother acknowledging them
>People don’t stick around that long here
>When your inside you head over to the employee room to clock in
>Sure enough the reason why no one wants to stick around is there
>Pencil Pusher, the manager of this place
>Looks like hes too busy nagging some other schmuck to bother you
>He pisses off everyone around him
>If you had to guess he probably has an extreme napoleon complex with how compact he is.
>He has it in his head that since Filthy Rich lives in Canterlot then everything here has to be top-notch
>Yet you cannot recall seeing the rich bastard once here
>No matter, time to take care of your morning duties
>Each person is assigned to certain duties to set-up the joint
>You could go into full detail of the job but does anyone really want that?
>You head to do yours but a chime rings
>It takes you a while to realize it came from your phone
>You use your phone mostly for the convenience it provides and for work
>Checking it you see you gotten a handful of messages from some number
>taking a look at the messages it doesn’t take long to realize who its from
>’Good Morning!’
>’Unless I woke you up then woops’
>’Hope you have a wonderful day non-non’
>Each message is decorated with emojis and the final message is nothing but emojis that you cannot really decipher
>You don’t really care for emojis but seeing all of the messages makes you smile a bit
>You should probably respond
‘good morning. I’ll try to Pink but no promises. Oh and you didn’t wake me up so don’t worry about that.’
‘Also I’d wish you a wonderful day but you probably always have wonderful days don’t you’
>A part of you wants to put an emoji but you really don’t know which one so you pass on that.
>Another chime
>It another emoji, the laughing one
>However, you are getting distracted from work
‘I have to get to work. I’ll text you when I’m free’
>’okie dokie artichokie’
>You put silence on your phone for once
>Luckily Pencil neck wasn’t around or he definitely would had gave you hell
>Your job is monotonous and bland but time passes as usual
>When the store opens up you are given the pleasure of dealing with the carts
>No one uses those cart stations, they just leave them in the lot
>but it beats having to deal with customers
>The weather is nice and cool making it easier for you to travel the lot
>hours pass in dullness
>It’s time for your lunch break
>You make your way to the break room and pull out the compressed sandwich you had in your pocket
>It’s not very appetizing looking but it does the job of filling your stomach
>You get some water from the water cooler to wash it down
>Theres a few others in the room besides you
>Theres a T.V but its locked onto a news channel
>Just the usual crap
>A robbery here, a celebrity did something there
>Something something politics
>No point watching it
>You pull out your phone and open the messenger app
>You did say you would message Pank but you are completely lost on how to start
>maybe just say hello? That’s safe enough
‘hello’
>You watch the screen for a while before realizing how dumb that is
>You pull up your web browser
>At least theres wi-fi here
>Theres all kinds of dumbass videos to distract you on utube
>You decide on videos of monkeys doing stupid things
>However a banner notification shows you a message
>’hi nons, I’m in class now but its super boring’
>a part of you wants to tell her not to use her phone in class but that would be something a old man would say
>You aren’t that old yet damn it
>’History. The class wouldn’t be so boring if Cranky didn’t just read the textbook’
>She sends you a picture of the teacher. Now thats an old man
>And is that a toupee?
‘I see’
>’Yeah so wbu?’
>shit what does that stand for?
>goggle save me. A quick search tells you what it means.
‘Just on lunch break. The only good part about this job’
>’It can’t b that bad right?’
‘maybe, but its still pretty terrible’
>she sends you a picture of a cat on a tree branch with the caption ‘hang in there’
‘It’s fine. I gotten used to this job long ago.’
>sad emoji face
>Imagining her sad bothers you
‘Well on the bright side having you message me felt really nice.’
>’Then I’ll txt you every day! that’s a Pinkie promise.’
>Theres a chain of smiling emojis included
>Honestly you got really lucky finding this girl online
‘Thanks a lot.’
>This time you settle with sending the smile emoji. that’s tame enough.
>’I’d do anything to make my friends smile, which means you too’
>that warm fuzziness invades you again
‘Well if theres anything you need I’ll help you out too.’
>’I’ll remember that *winking emoji*’
>’When is ur birthday?’
>You send her your birthday
>’ooh that won’t take too long before it’s here. Imma def throw u a party *party ball emoji*’
>Jeez you can’t remember the last time you celebrated your birthday
>All you know is it was before you graduated
>Some things are best forgotten
>Looking at the clock you notice lunch is just about over
‘That sounds good but I have to get back to work. Carts won’t push themselves.’
>’bye bye nonnon *waving hand*’
‘Bye’
>You shove your phone back into your pocket
>You get up and stretch your limbs
>Back to the grind of cart-wrangling
>Time passes once more and its finally time to clock out. You return the last batch of carts and head to the machine.
>Done. Time to leave before you get roped into something.
>Making your way out as fast as possible you get to the beat-up car
>Mindlessly you make your way back home
>Up the stairs and into the door 404. It is time to nap.
>You quickly get out of your stuffy uniform and into something more comfortable
>Then flop onto the bed
>Your weary body easily lulls you to sleep
>Your nap was dreamless as usual
>rubbing your eyes you notice your phone lit up
>missed some messages a few minutes ago
>’hi *waving hand*’
>’hello hello?’
>’non this is pink over *radio*’
>’I guess you are still busy. Rite now me and my friends are gonna hang at Sweet Shoppe *cupcake*’
>’You can come and hang out too :)’
>’if you want to if you can’t its no biggie’
>’I already told them all about you so no surprises *partying emoji*’
>’pls respond. kthxbai’
>Well you weren’t expecting that
>But do you really want to hang out with a whole group of teenage girls
>Plus you could still nap some more
>They already know about you though
>You can’t avoid Pinkie’s other friends forever
>Plus they outnumber you so it won’t be as wierd right?
>Lets get this over with
>pulling up the messenger app you start typing
‘Sure I’ll be there. I was napping so thats why I couldn’t respond.’
>In a few seconds a chime rings
>’Perfect! C U soon sleepyhead*sleeping emoji*’
>Well time to see how well this goes
>You already got along with her family so this shouldn’t be too hard right?
>You put on some casual clothes and make your way out
>Your reliable rusty ride awaits you
>Using the map app you search for the Sweet Shoppe
>Unsurprisingly its not that far from where ponk lives
>You start the route to another encounter you would rather not have
>At least she will be there
>It doesn’t take long to get there and find a spot to park
>You mentally prepare yourself and make your way inside
>right away you are hit with the scent of freshly baked pastries
>Theres plenty of people inside. Mostly teenagers but you spot some parents with their children.
>It doesn’t take long to spot Pinkie’s group when she waves her arms around wildly to get your attention
>’Over here non-non!’
>You take your time to get a good look at her group
>Definitely a diverse looking cast of characters
>it doesn’t help your nerves that all of them are focused on you but you soldier on
>Pinkie bounces out of her seat and before you could react a pink ballistic is launched at you
>Direct hit but you still manage to stand
>”Hiya nons!” she exclaims while constricting your body
“hey there. You know if you keep doing this my bones will soften.”
>She lets out a gasp and lets go
>”Soft bones are no good! but how will I hug you?”
“Like this”
>You take the opportunity to hug her back now that your arms are free
>She leans into the hug, this time not crushing you with her arms
>“How heartwarming,” says a fawning voice
>”Yeah you two should get a room,” remarks a raspy voice
>Oh yeah you forgot about her friends
>Looking past the pink cloud of hair you see her group of friends looking at you.
>Some bemused, others curious
“Hehe, uh. didn’t see you there.”
>”Oh don’t mind us darling,” says the same elegant voice from before
>This time you can pair it to the girl who looks like she spent hours on her hair alone
>Pinkie is still busy enjoying the hug
“Hey ponk a little help here?”
>”hmm? Oh right!”
>She slips out your grasp and quickly pronks over to her friends
>”Girls this is the one, the only, Anonymous!”
>”It’s kinda obvious dontcha think?” responds the cowgirl
>”Yeah probably,” shrugs Ponk
>In a flash she is behind you
>”nothing personnel nons” she whispers
>You find yourself pushed forward towards the group until you are led into a seat, all attention on you
“So all you know my name already, but I don’t know any of yours.”
>”Oh of course how thoughtless of us. I’m Rarity, a pleasure to meet you,” she says presenting her hand
>Huh, it’s been a while since you seen someone act like a lady
“Pleasure’s all mine.”
>you take her hand and give it a small kiss
>”Oh my, you really are as much a gentleman as Pinkie said you were”
>You can feel the fedoralord nodding respectfully from above towards you
>”Alright that’s enough of that,” interjects the raspy voice
>This time you can pair it to the girl with rainbow hair
>”The names Rainbow Dash and you better not forget it, cause soon everyone will know it!”
>She strikes a pose that you are pretty sure you saw in a movie
“And why is everyone going to know you?”
>”Well isn’t it obvious, I’m the greatest athlete in Canterlot. I already got to meet Spitfire and she told me I’m a shoo-in for the Wonderbolts,” she claimed self-assuredly
>You think you heard of them but you can’t remember where
“Yeah that does sound important.”
>It looks like dash was going to talk more but Cowgirl stops her with her hand
>”Rainbow ya’ll can chat up about the wonderbolts another time. Anyhow the names Applejack, at yer service.”
>She gives you a small tip of her hat, her voice tinged with a southern drawl
>Have you heard her name before?
>Oh shit now you know!
”Do you know an old lady called Granny Smith?”
>”Know ‘er? She is mah granny! How do you know her?”
“I may have bumped into her once before. She talked about you.”
>”Only nice things ah bet”
“Yep. Said you were a real hard worker and always reliable. Also that she ‘loved you so very much’,” you said trying to mimic granny’s voice
>”Aw shucks”, she bashfully replies hiding her face in her hat
>”I believe Applejack is done so I will introduce myself now,” comments the bespectacled girl
>”I’m Twilight Sparkle, it is nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
>seems like that introduction was pretty straight to the point
>”oh is it my turn now?” mutters a soft voice
>Your attention is drawn to a withdrawn girl, her face partially hidden behind her light pink hair
>”I’m Fluttershy. umm. Do you like animals?”
“Who doesn’t? If the place I lived at didn’t have a strict no-pets policy I probably would had gotten a hamster”