Jump 010: Fate/Stay Night

Jump 010: Fate/Stay Night

Location: Tohsaka Mansion, 2003
Age: 13
Identity: [-600] Magus Heir, Demi-Servant
Drawbacks: [+2000] Nasuspeak, An Ego Greater Than All The World's Evils, Sealing Designation, Center Stage, Black Is The New Black, Class War, JUMPER

[Free]      Power Of The Tsun
[Free]      This Is My Absolute Territory
[300/2400]  Average One
[800/2400]  Sorcerer's Apprentice: First True Magic
[1800/2400] Sorcerer's Apprentice: Third True Magic
[2400/2400] Wish Granting

I kept myself busy over the course of the last decade leading up to 2003, and it was here that I made a breakthrough. Several, in fact. Surely I was a harmless kid who just so happened to go to the same school as the Second Owner of Fuyuki! Alas, I'm mostly the weird kid who likes older British music (fuck you for making me miss out on Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin in their prime, Clocktower). And so, one weekend morning in early 2003 I presented myself at Rin Tohsaka's residence.

"Hi! You're the Second Owner, right?"
>"... and you are?"
"According to the school register, Gil Aurum. I'm a couple years behind you, allegedly."
>"And a magus? Why are you here?"
"Oh, because I finally cracked two of the five True Magics, so I thought you might want to collaborate."
>"I. You. What?"
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure I mean Gilgamesh. You might remember me from such events as the last Holy Grail War where I would have absolutely won if not for Emiya cheating and destroying the cup, thereby removing the point of the conflict. Literally nobody is on my level, so I got bored and decided to subject myself to the torture of the Japanese school system to stay under the Clocktower's radar until cooler heads prevail, because I literally cannot take anything in the modern world seriously. Not kidding, this era is a fucking riot."
>"You. WHAT. Go back to the part where you were Gilgamesh, Goldilocks."
"You use jewelcrafting, right? I have more money than God, so I'll make sure you have as many jewels as you need while we collaborate."
>". . ."
"Also if things really take off I'll make you functionally immortal and make sure the kids are basically gods among magi."
>"It sounds like you've made my mind up for me-"
"I brought you coffee and a large stake in DeBeers."
>"SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY."

...okay, I may have embellished a little at the end there, but I'm sure you understand; Rin is quite possibly the only person in Japan whose ego can keep up with mine, without being a complete fucking cretin.

But it was the beginning of a beautiful partnership.

---

"So. Shiro Emiya, right?"
>"Yeah?"
"I've heard rumors about you. You fix things, and you want to be a hero, more or less. Right?"
>"Yeah-huh?"
"You mean like be a police officer, or private investigator or something?"
>"Police? No. I just want to save everybody."
"Huh. Right, well, what are you doing in order to be a hero?"
>"Iiii... what do you mean? I save people."

Note to self: Shiro is an idiot. But that's okay, I took Mr. Hero under my wing.

"100 push-ups! 100 sit-ups! 100 squats! 10 kilometers running!"
>"But Gil-san..!"
"EVERY SINGLE DAY!"

Whether he wanted to or not.

---

About a year later, I sensed a disturbance in the Force. As though a million egos cried out and were suddenly silenced.

(Shut up, Rin, I can like pop culture if I want to, don't make me ruin seafood for you again.)

But seriously, people started getting command seals. Again. Rin among them. And as a result, the Grail War started anew. I just knew this would lead to trouble, and so I made sure to never travel without popcorn because this would surely result in hilarity. And so the first time I sensed two Servants, I put myself in the area so that I could spectate. With a lawn chair prepared.

I was less prepared to find that both of the servants were the spitting image of me. If they were clones that had been chucked headfirst into Hot Topic. And sure, they were different palette swaps, one had blonde hair and red armor, and the other had white hair and black armor, but there was no mistaking their voices. Not that I was really paying much attention to them as they bickered.

>"NOW YOU WILL WITNESS THE NADIR OF MY SORROW!"
>"NUH-UH! MY PAIN IS MORE PAINFUL THAN YOURS!"

I waved a hand at them. "Hey, guys? Give it a rest, you're tarnishing my image here."

>"CRAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIN."

Or whatever it was that those useless emo kids used as their battle cry as they engaged me. And... actually, they gave me a surprisingly good fight. I mean, they actually destroyed my lawn chair. But frankly... like the fake from the last war, they just weren't up to the challenge of fighting someone on their level with thousands of years of experience who had fought in the majority of humanity's wars. Or, well, maybe not QUITE on their level - they had a bit of an edge - but still not enough to really stand a chance. Perhaps if there were more of them. Tragically... failure to entertain a king is not a thing that one who wishes to remain living should do.

---

Three days later:

Oh hey there are more of them and the dead ones are back, and I just died twice while fighting them. Guess I should actually do something of value in fighting them ...

...naaaaaaah they still got slaughtered when I started using the Gate offensively instead of just plucking out random weapons to use against them.

But seriously how the fuck are there palette swaps of me in every fucking class except Archer.

---

Four days later:

Oh hey, Rin has a Servant too. Must be the Archer.

Oh hey, Rin's Archer is Archer From The Future.

Oh hey, Archer From The Future is trying to kill me--

Wait. He's actually Me From The Future, which means he's actually good.

"Commendable! I will honor you with ten percent of my power."
>"Stop screwing around and get serious! That's just an insult!"
"Very well! I shall honor you with FIVE percent of my power!"
>"That's just- oh, fuck it, I'LL fix the fucking grail instead of waiting for you to do it first, then! After I kill you!"

And so we traded blows, though I did actually take him halfway seriously. Enough to use more than the Gate, at any rate, even if he didn't rank Ea. Apparently I did, but that just made it for a more interesting challenge, what with the use of the First Magic to throw random crap at him, flinging various things from the Gate at him, using System Keuranos to flick coins at him a la Railgun, dodging him doing the same at me, and eventually coming out to a draw as we both withdrew. By which I mean, yeah, he died once and I died three times, but we were still standing so it's a draw.

---

Five days later:

"Who the hell is Angry Matthew and why does he keep sending clones after me."

---

Six days later:

"Oh. That's Angry Matthew. HEY MATT. HEY. HEY MATTHEW."
>"I am Angira Mainyu-"
"Yeah, but why you mad, bro?"
>"FfffFFFF-"

And then I shoved Excalibur up his tailpipe.

"...I was really expecting something more of a climax oh hello Futuregamesh-"
>"I'M SICK AND TIRED OF MY ATTITUDE."
"YAMATE GILGAMESH-DONO, YAMATE--"

---

Seven days later:

...the hell were you expecting? If He can rest on the seventh day, I can chill on an island and sip Mai Tais and no one can criticize me.

>"I don't care what that ID says, you're like, fourteen. Anyway, you're not getting a Mai Tai here."
"Mister Franklin thinks otherwise."
>"Sir this is an Arby's."

...fuck.

---

Eight days later:

Fine, fine, I may as well use what small amount of work I can do to deal with the Grail and oh hey this thing actually makes sense, in a 'I'm a first year mechanic and this is a ship's diesel engine' kind of way-

Why are all of the other Masters here and gunning for me suddenly. Except for Rin. And Shiro. But they're here too. Shiro you idiot why are you trying to defend me against five actual mages. RIN WHY ARE YOU HELPING HIM GO HOME. FUTUREGAMESH WHY ARE YOU HELPING THEM YOU WANT TO KILL ME.

>"Rin's command seal won't let me kill you until I deal with them, because they'll tell the Clocktower otherwise and screw her over! Make yourself useful and fix the fucking Grail, you hack!"

HEY. I resemble that remark. Fucking know-it-alls think their future knowledge means they know everything, rassafrassin-

What the fuck.

Did he just fucking pull that Sakura girl's soul out of her, magic up a new body, shove her into it, and shove said brand-new naked body onto Shiro. Huh, well, guess someone deserves a reward for being a hero and all of that, right? And what's he mumbling over there about the bone of his sward?

Anyways, at least the other Masters are either down or ... defected, in Sakura's case. The Grail is an overrated magical amplifier, and I have enough power that I should be able to basically brute-force the damn thing myself, right? I've got the Lesser Grail here and it's a conduit, it's just all this mud and the battlefield is in fire and there are Gilgaclones running amok again, Futuregamesh is looking like he's about to start ignoring his command seal and kill me if I don't do something soon.

Quick, treat it like an exam in school. That is, cheat when the teacher's back is turned.

"Hey! Rin!"
>"Little busy here, Goldilocks!"
"What's your wish!?"
>"Damn it, you're an eyesore, you get in my way, you annoy me, and I hate the way you look! I just wish you'd actually do something useful!"

And with that, I felt every circuit in me flare, practically glowing incandescent as I replied, "GRANTED!", and all that power was channeled in a blinding flash. For one shining moment, everything made sense. The Grails were linked, but imperfect, and so they could be corrupted. Enough energy could, in theory, burn through that corruption. But hitting the Lesser Grail with it caused a feedback loop... the Gilgaclones stopped fighting and started screaming before they abruptly converted to a half dozen bonfires. Somehow, Futuregamesh was unaffected, but that's neither here nor there. But the power of a half dozen Gilgameshes amplifying mine going into the thing...

Wait a tick. Is that the Gilgamesh that survived the last war? How the hell is he still around?!

"Why the fuck is Fakegamesh here and trying to shank me with Ea?!"
>"YOU ARE A WALKING INSULT TO ANYTHING THAT COULD BE CALLED KINGLY!"
"I am a king, Therefore everything I do is kingly! You're just the outdated idea of one! I'll fight you in a minute, this is very delicate work-"
>"FUCKING DIE, YOU-"
"-but if you insist, here-"
>"-GODS DAMNED MONGREL oh no"

And thus the final ingredient was served by my inelegant dodge of Fakegamesh. A massive amount of energy pumped into the Lesser Grail, coupled with his Ea severing that link, a particular hillside not far away detonated with the force of a bomb. Everyone was knocked ass over teakettle, including myself and Fakegamesh, but mission accomplished, Rin; you wanted me to do something useful, what's the most useful thing that someone who wants to not die could do in this moment?

That's right, kill the wish engine.

Angry Matthew, eat your heart out.

Of course, that still leaves me with my ears ringing from the bomb, and Fakegamesh blindsiding me with a couple of cheap shots, binding me with the Chains that I hadn't even bothered using against the Gilgaclones, and then spending the next thirty seconds punching me.

Leaving me mostly unaffected; "Hey, uh, you may be a king, but your fists aren't exactly A-ranked noble phantasms, bro." Which just sent him into an apolectic stage.

"My fists. My FISTS." He stepped away, picking up Ea from where it had been driven into the grass, and lifting it so that it was parallel with my heart. "I'm going to stab you. But I know you'll just come back, like you did ten years ago. So I'm going to stab you again, and again. Until you stop coming back. AND THEN I'M GOING TO USE YOUR SKULL AS THE CORNERSTONE OF THE NEW THRONE THAT I WILL USE TO RULE THE ASHES OF THIS DISEASED WORLD AFTER I BURN IT DOWN!"

"...Huh," I mused. "You look normal but I kind of think you got some of Matthew's mud too."

"You irreverent excuse for a--!" He was practically foaming at the mouth at this point, but he visibly calmed himself, closing his eyes a moment and then opening them again. "Very well. Have you any last words, you useless beast?"

With a smile, I said, "Of all the things I've lost and found, I miss my situational awareness the most."

Visibly confused, he responded, "Wait, wha-"

From behind him, a crackle of lightning could be heard. "Come now, please try to pay attention," my future self spoke, causing Fakegamesh to turn around, eyes wide. "System Keuranos," he added, a searing stream of electricity flowing from his upraised hand, engulfing both myself and the fake.

One of us screamed, briefly, but that one was not me. The smoking corpse in charred and cracked armor collapsed between the two of us, while I was largely unaffected, aside from my hair sticking on end. But the corpse, along with the chains I was bound in, dissolved into golden motes and faded away.

I rubbed my wrists, looking into the distance and the mushroom cloud that was growing. "You know, I'm pretty sure the Grail's defenses actually saved the city from exploding, considering that focused all that energy upward," I commented, before turning my head back toward my future self. "I was expecting you to skewer us both or something. Thanks for using something that I could actually ground myself against."

"Oh, sure, no problem," came the muttered response, "I definitely didn't forget about that until it was too late to change my mind."

"God damn it, Gilgamesh, you're not allowed to kill yourself," Rin snapped. The second of her three command seals flared and faded, and he nodded reluctantly. Then looked at me speculatively, before she reached up and grabbed him by the ear, "You KNOW what I meant."

Then she walked over to me and grabbed me by the ear as well. "Now. We're going to go home, and we're going to have a LONG talk. And then you're going to teach me everything you know. BOTH of you."

"Ow ow ow! Rin, why are you always so rough?!"
>"I can't believe I've missed this..."
"Wait, did she just say..?"
>"Actually, it was Shiro in the original timeline."
>"That guy? I'm feeling queasy suddenly. Carry me, Gilgamesh."
"I don't know. I think Sakura was dragging him into the bushes on the way home."
>"Uh huh."
"And you're still around. You anchored yourself with the Third, didn't you?"
>"Uh huh."
"So ... wait. That means..."
>"Just remember, in nine years, staying behind is my job- if you start talking about molluscs I'm going to tape your mouth shut."
"But the exquisite curves-" Slap. "MMPH."
>"Oh good, you came prepared!"
>"Always, Queen Rin."
>"Queen? ...I could get used to the sound of that..."

---

END