Go Big or Go Home [Steg collab]

>Day Unreasonable Size in Equestria
>It’s a big day for you today.
>Today you begin your part time job as guardian of the citizens of Ponyville, a large responsibility indeed.
>Not much happens around Ponyville, and your job will likely just be keeping silly colts in check.
>The Elements of Harmony handle all the big threats, but that doesn’t mean that you can slack off!
>You patrol about town in your sharp new white uniform, it’s not official or anything, just something you picked up from Rarity’s; she’s marked it with three stars across the breast.
>It’s good to finally feel like you’re doing something to help out the town, especially since you’ve been here for so long.
>So far you’ve only been able to contribute in shouts and organization.
>That feel when stuck as a manly and slightly more angry Twilight Sparkle, but now that all changes!
>Now you are a manly, very much more angry Twilight Sparkle who actually holds a position of power.
>As you’re passing through the side street next to Sugar Cube Corner, you feel the earth begin to tremble and quake beneath your feet.
>Then, like a mighty storm, a shadow overs the town.
>Towering high over the town, the stern visage of Tirek the Devourer stares down at Ponyville with a disgusted sneer.
>He’s quite large, almost larger than you, however as a young boy when the doctors measured you their tools didn’t work.
>As it turns out your height is “Bigger than the other guy” at all times.
>Usually, it’s not that much of an issue, you run about eight feet and change except when there’s a visitor in town.
>But now, you feel the Height overtaking you.
>It is a good stretch...
>Your suit changes with you, getting no tighter than it was, Rarity truly is a master [thing]
>Tirek’s eyes flash with hate as he sees you grow.
>”AH, FINALLY, A CHALLENGE?” he booms, raising his arms out.
>Out of courtesy for the Elements of Harmony, you look around to give them first dibs.
>Lucky for you, they aren’t around.
>Pounding your fist against your chest, you square your shoulders and glare across the town at Tirek’s offensive Biggness.
>You collide faces with him, your sharp eyebrows nearly slicing apart his own.
“AH, SO YOU’RE THE CENTAUR THEY TOLD ME ABOUT.”
>“I AM, WHO ARE YOU?”
“I AM THE DEFENDER OF THESE TEENY WEENIE PONIES. MY MINIATURE EQUINES!”
>He lets out a hearty laugh, his face still glued to yours.
>He smells like Twilight or Rarity after too much magic use, I.E a burning rug.
>A bit of spittle splashes across your cheek.
>“WELL THEN, SMALL FRY, LET US SEE HOW YOU MEASURE UP!”
>Tirek’s face gets even redder as he draws in a deep breath, sucking in the spit from your face.
>That’s fucking disgusting.
>I-Is he absorbing your size?
>You’re not getting any shorter…
>But he’s getting taller off of you.
>THE TWO OF YOU ARE GROWING EXPONENTIALLY.
>What sort of witchcraft is this?
>Setting your lips into a scowl, you sneer up at him and open your mouth, singing the song of your people
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-WHW-QNswE
>He cackles at your silly song.
>”SIMPLE HUMAN,” his voice causes the fragile earth so face below you to shake, “YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT TIREK?”
>You nod, sending shockwaves through space.
>Yes, you and Tirek have continued to grow to such heights that you’ve broken the atmosphere.
>How are you still breathing?
>Better not to jinx it.
>Maybe your powerful lungs are sucking the air from below even from up here.
>At this point you can’t even see Ponyville anymore, and can barely make out Canterlot in the distance.
>Higher and higher you continue to grow, with Tirek laughing the entire way.
>The cold of space makes you a little nippy, nothing you can’t handle.
>Your eyes are glazed over with perfectly translucent ice, as are Tirek’s.
>Gazing to the left you spot Equestria’s only satellite, the moon.
>An idea comes to you.
>[Moon him].
>Yes.
>While Tirek is being a big fucking dumby you shoot your hand out and grab the goddamn moon.
>Yes, with your giant man hand you just grabbed the moon.
>You bring the pitiful pebble down on Tirek’s face, knocking him into space.
>He yells like the giant bitch nigga he is, floating off into the Milky Way.
>At least you think he’s headed in that direction, you don’t pay much attention.
>You want to keep your job after all.
>With no one to be big against you shrink down to your normal 8’ 5”.

>Celestia flutters down toward you, smiling in approval.
>A mighty party has been thrown in your honor, and the Princesses are the star guests.
>Along side you of course.
>”For your excellent performance in banishing Tirek from the realm I, Princess Celestia, offer you honorary Princesshood.
>The alicorn hands you a pair of giant cardboard wings and a big pool-noodle horn.
>You begin to tear up….
>Good end.
“And that, little fillies, is how I saved Equestria.”
>The Cutie Mark Crusaders stare up at you in awe.
>You cross your arms and give them a smug smile.
“Now what do you think of my very important position in Ponyville?”
>“That’s a’mazin Anon!”
>“Yeah, my favorite part was where you POWED Tirek in the face with the moon!”
>”Speakin’ ah which, how come the moon ain’t gone?”
“Celestia made a new one. Luna’s gotta go somewhere when she PMSes.”
>Applebloom and Scootaloo nod at each other in approval, while Sweetie Belle rubs her chin in confusion.
>“But Mister Anon… I don’t remember that ever happ-”
>You quickly shove your face into hers and scream at the top of your lungs
“BIG!”
>Today was an eat your spinach and grow big like me, Anon! kinda day