hello. I really hope this works and that you're able to read this. I like thinking outside the box. If you're reading this and you're still not in a healthy place, I think you should use this opportunity to reflect on life and how everything is going. you have had so many fucking chances to get your shit together, if you are not physically-healthy and socially engaged, you really need to step the fuck up and get medical attention. you need to get on drugs or some fucking thing. for me right now, the number one thing is physical health and diet. everything else flows from that. my serious intention right now is get on strict ketogenic diet from basically tomorrow until you read this.

you should have acheived the following goals:
- strict ketosis
- have seen at least a few times saman, lw event, others
- biking to work
- develop r programming (and maybe vba)

from where i stand now, it's completely achievable to get my fucking shit together real good, crush it at work for the next few months, and come out in a place where, although it's probably too late get secure a permanent position at my work, at least set it up such that i can get a decent job somewhere and don't have to keep fucking running. i really, really need to stop running and hoping that a new city will change the game. i'm getting to an age whereby this becoming less and less achievable. i would love nothing more than to avoid grad school, but if that's what makes sense, i should have at least done some work towards taking the gre. remember, i don't have enough money saved up to really float for very long, and i really don't want to go back to montana without something to do.

i don't really have anything to say. i hope you've read some good books, are biking to work, have figured out all the bullshit paperwork that we need to do. i hope our new twitter account has a decent number of followers. i hope you've had sex tbh, although it's understandable if you haven't. okay, i gotta take a piss. good luck my friend.