the best vampire romance ever written

"alois my love i have baked a pie for you arent you so proud" luka said, hoisting the baked good highly above his head. emil was going to be so angry that luka had taken from him his favorite key lime pie mix and also an entire bag of his blood from the refridgerator but it was all going to be worth it when he saw the look on alois's face.
"luka you tremendous effeminate snowhomo i cannot eat this are you a fool. i am a kindred"
"but i made it with blood" luka said becoming increasingly distressed, "i tried so hard do you know how difficult it is to steal iv equipment and steal blood from your roommate before he notices you"
"i cannot even feed on this anyway i like young women not fat brown doctors you should have been more considerate" alois said, baring his teeth and growling like the noble wolf
"i am sorry" luka apologized sexily "is there any way i can make this up to you"
"yes" alois answered "you will inhale my massive turgid ventrue scepter"
"with pleasure" luka said laughing far too hard at himself as he did so, rubbing the pie against his face for good measure
eli was outside and he took a lot of pictures and sold them for big cash monies the end