I have an incredible desire to find one girl and excessively keep up with her. I strongly want to watch an unknowing girl doing her homework from her window. There is one girl in particular that I use as the face in my nonsexual fantasy. If she's crying about a breakup, oddly enough, I want to watch her sulk miserably after the event, never once stepping in to comfort her. If she has a boyfriend, I want to keep up with him and watch him when he comes over.

I want to wear a plain, undecorated mask and make myself barely noticeable to the boyfriend so that he becomes suspicious and looks outside, just to find that I'm no longer around, which in turn will arouse some paranoia in the victimized girl.

I want her to feel my presence, but look outside and find nobody around. I want her to know I'm watching her, when she thinks she's just letting paranoia get to her.

Eventually she'll overcome her paranoia and settle back down, like we all do after watching a scary movie and being antsy about whatever the horror movie was about. At that point, I want to enter her house.

While she's sleeping, I want to initially touch her hair. She may or may not notice. If she does, I can quickly leave. While I'm indoors, I want to take her clothes and feel them. I want to have her smell on my hands. After touching her hair on multiple nights, I want to take it a step farther. I want to make a physical change to her while sleeping. This can be done by handcuffing her legs to the foot of her bed and handcuffing her arms to the headrest of her bed. She will notice this, and she'll be deeply terrified. There's no way anybody would believe this happened to her, so I don't have to worry.

After she's a hystarical paranoid outcast who sleeps with her lights on, only with the help of strong sleep medication, I want to begin cutting her. I want to slowly make cuts along her body. At this point, she won't be able to sleep without medication, so she won't wake, due to her strong sedation. My cuts will begin on the chest and move down and outward along the body. She will soon have small, 2 inch long cuts on every part of her body from the neck down.

If she moves, I'll be monitoring her wireless data with packet monitoring software, so I'll find out where she's moving to. The day before she moves, I want to settle my strong nostalgia by, again, handcuffing her legs to the foot of her bed and her arms to the headrest of her bed. I then want to step outside her window and tap on it loud enough to wake her up (I would probably swap her sleep medication with something else, so she wouldn't be as heavily sleeping). She would look out the window, notice her binded state, and see a masked figure in her window (me). I would then come indoors and let her consciously cut her head off with a large blade.

None of this would be for sexual desire. I apologize if any of this is confusing. I'm venting my raw thoughts and my mind occasionally works in a confusing manner. This may or may not have come out in a logical, comprehensible way.