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- ------------------------------------
- PART ONE
- ------------------------------------
- >The door opens with a little ringing sound and you finally enter the gingerbread house.
- >So many cakes.
- >The designer of this place clear had candy on his mind.
- >Candycane-style red and white stripped collumns.
- >Walls colored with different shades of chocolate.
- >A large cloud of cotton candy behind the counter.
- >Is that cotton candy moving?
- >Upon closer inspection, it appears to be a tail.
- >The owner of the pink poofy appendage raise her head and begins what you assume would be a greeting.
- >She stops midway through a word when she notices you and lets out a loud gasp.
- >About half the air in the entire shop must now be in her lungs.
- >She bolts to your side in a pink blur.
- >That was ridiculously fast.
- >Then, she starts speaking.
- >That's even faster.
- >And now she's running around, inspecting your person.
- >You feel her touching your left shoulder and by the time you turn your head, she's already poking around your right arm.
- >Tired of having her jab you in various places, you grab her by the tail.
- >Lifting her to eye-level you put a finger on your mouth and shush.
- >Nope, still speaking.
- >You slowly bring a hand to her muzzle and twist around to face Twilight, a perplexed expression on your face.
- >"‹Pinkie Pie.›" she sighs.
- >You nod and turn back your head towards the pink pony.
- "Anonymous."
- >You settle the bubblegum pony back on her hooves.
- >Good, she slowed down her talking pace.
- >It's still twice as fast as what you're used to, but it's not like you could understand her anyway.
- >She seems to be asking some questions to you.
- >You can see Twilight about to interrupt her, but your stomach is first to object with a loud grumble.
- >Chuckling, you pat the protesting organ.
- >The unicorn at your side takes advantage of the brief moment of silence.
- >Quickly, she replies to Pinkie with a long string of words.
- >The hyperactive pony lets out another comically exagerrated gasp and begins to shove you towards a small table.
- >Pinkie Pie then bounces to another room, mumbling.
- >Twilight joins you at the table while you try to get comfortable on a miniature stool.
- >The aroma of freshly baked pastries is driving you insane.
- >You're pretty sure being in a building that looks like it is made entirely of sweets isn't helping either.
- >Soon enough, a platter cupcakes appear on the table in a pink flash.
- >Good thing too, because you were about to go gnaw on the walls.
- >You grab one of the cupcakes and take a bite.
- >Sweet sugar-soaked Satan on a stick!
- >Just how much sugar did she put in those things?
- >The two ponies in your company each grab a pastry and begin to chatter.
- >Since you can participate in the conversation, you stuff yourself with cupcakes.
- >They haven't yet finished their own small cake and you already ate the rest of them.
- >These things were delicious, but not very substancial.
- >Pinkie Pie eventually notice your lack of words and put a hoof on her chin, pensive.
- >She perks up and pulls out a few crayons and some paper from behind her back.
- >When did she even get those?
- >As Pinkie drops the drawing material in front of you, Twilight jumps off her stool with a look of sudden realisation on her face.
- >While burting out something to Pinkie, she picks up one of the crayon with magic and hastily scribble down some doodles on the paper.
- >When the unicorn bolts out of the bakery, you throw a confused look to the pink pony.
- >She pushes the sheet of paper closer to you and leave the table to go serve some new customers.
- >Okay, let's see what this is all about.
- >A scroll, a... tiara? and the sun.
- >What crazy non-sense is this?
- >The line at Pinkie's counter keeps growing.
- >Twilight Sparkle just left to go do god knows what.
- >And you're sitting alone in front of a now empty platter of cupcakes.
- >Maybe you could just leave and go on an ADVENTURE!
- >And by adventure, you mean finding more food.
- >Those four cupcakes you ate weren't very filling, but all the sugar was starting to upset your stomach.
- >So you'll be looking for something healthier.
- >But first, you need to explain your sudden departure to Pinkie.
- >Using the varied spectrum of crayons, you try to draw her the situation.
- >The combination of your meager drawing skills and ever-growing sugar-induced tummy ache results in a bunch of squiggles.
- >A puff of pink hair pops out next to you.
- >Pinkie is wildly pointing and shouting at your scribbles, apparently trying to guess what it represents.
- >She's too absorbed by the drawing to notice you make your way to the exit.
- >Even though she's still shouting and flailing, you wave her goodbye and then walk out of the bakery.
- >You really hope those customers are patient ponies.
- >Maybe you should go back to Minty and CandyFlank's- you mean Lyra and Bon Bon's house to grab your stuff.
- >You don't want to impose after all.
- >Walking towards your destination, you start to look through the book Twilight gave you.
- >Your belly growl as you flip to a page with an apple on it.
- >Oh shush you, you've been complaining since we woke up.
- >You begin to rub your stomach and a yellow pegasus comes flying to your side, keeping herself at eye-level with you.
- >"What's wrong little guy?"
- >Heh, little.
- >You show her the red fruit in your book.
- >"Oh? You want some apples?"
- >"Well, one of my good friends own the orchard over there. I'm sure she won't mind a little visit."
- >You follow her hoof and notice a rather large apple plantation in the distance.
- >Yes! So much food!
- >You grab the yellow pony in a hug.
- >She squeaks and hurriedly flies away as soon as your arms unwrap from around her.
- >Guess she's a pretty shy pers- pony.
- >...
- >Did that pony just say coherent words to you?
- >...
- >Naaaah, all that sugar must be getting the best of you.
- >She just saw the apple in the book and pointed to the orchard, that's all.
- >Since it's only a small detour, you're going pick your stuff up before heading to the orchard.
- >While approaching the residence, you notice the door opening.
- >Hey! It's Bon Bon!
- >And she's bringing your violin case outside for you.
- >What a nice girl.
- >She carelessly drops the case on the ground and re-enter her house, closing the door behind her.
- >It hits the ground with a light thud.
- >...
- >She must be really busy to not have time to speak with you.
- >Oh well. These apples aren't going to eat themselves.
- >ONWARD!
- >Soon enough, you arrive at the edge of the field of apple trees.
- >You look at one particulary big apple hanging from a relatively high branch.
- "Soon."
- >You jump up and grab a low branch.
- >Hoisting yourself up, you start climbing the tree.
- >Slowly but steadily getting closer to your fine prize.
- >You extend a hand to grab the apple.
- >Its slightly out of reach.
- "Come oooon~"
- >You stretch your arm a tad more, your fingers touching the fruit.
- >A sudden quake makes you lose your grip on the branch you were hanging from.
- >You fall flat on your back.
- >It wasn't really pleasant.
- >You stay still for a moment, laying on the grass and looking at the apple you were trying to grab.
- >That smug motherfucking apple.
- >Silently mocking you from up high.
- >Its demise has only been set back a little, it can sit there and laugh at your failure all it wants.
- >But it can't flee. Literally.
- ------------------------------------
- PART TWO
- ------------------------------------
- >An orange face appears upside-down in your vision, interrupting your flow of hatred towards the treacherous red fruit.
- >You roll to your belly and begin to stand up, your back aching like if you just took a 15 feet fall.
- >Oh wait.
- >As you finish standing up, the orange pony starts to speak loudly and angrily at you.
- >She's jabbing a hoof in your stomach and pointing at the tree.
- >From what you understand, and by that you mean 'not a goddamn word', this might be her orchard or something.
- >She has the right to be angry at some alien coming over to steal her apples.
- >You bow down in apology.
- >When you straighten back up, you can still see an angry pout on her face.
- >This is too much.
- >You burst out laughing.
- >She's just so adorable!
- >Just look at her!
- >She's like a little country pony!
- >The stetson hat, the freckles, the angry little pout.
- >It's like a little girl played dress up with her!
- "Pffff-HahahahahaOUCH!"
- >Your back chooses this moment to make you know it's still hurt.
- >The angry look on the blonde pony is slowly changing to a confused one.
- >You arch your back and a worrisome crack is heard.
- >You feel a little better, but it still hurts like a bitch.
- >The hat-wearing pony's face lost all sign of anger, worry and remorse taking its place.
- >Well, she got over you stealing her apples pretty fast.
- >Maybe she feels bad for hurting you?
- >That's cute.
- >You push her hat down on her head, chuckling.
- >A surprised yelp escapes her muzzle.
- >She pushes the hat back up with a small coy smile.
- >Then jab you in the stomach again.
- >Ow.
- >You sit down to relax your back, leaning against the tree you just fell from.
- >Your eyes catch a glimpse of your fruit nemesis.
- >Just you wait apple. Soon, your flesh shall be devoured.
- >That orange pony can't protect you forever.
- >Speaking of orange pony, she notices your angry glare towards the apple.
- >She trots over to your side and lift one of her hind legs.
- >With a swift kick, a familiar quake resonates through the trunk and your spine.
- >An apple, YOUR apple, falls on the ground in front of you.
- >You pick up the fruit and take a vengeful bite.
- >Tastes like victory.
- >You make short work of your snack and throw to core over your shoulder.
- >Standing up, you extend a hand to the mare next to you.
- "Anonymous."
- >Her hoof grasps (how does- You know what? Fuck it, magic pony land) your hand and shakes it.
- >"‹Applejack.›"
- >You give the mare a quick nod as a goodbye.
- >Then, you walk back to the violin case you left leaning against a nearby tree.
- >You've been trespassing on her property long enough and you managed to have a taste of sweet, apple flavored revenge.
- >There's not much else to do around here, so you bend down and gra-
- >Nope. It's with a grunt of pain that you confirm that your back is officialy locked.
- >Fuck.
- >The case is just out of reach.
- >You flail your arms towards it, vainly hoping they would magically stretch or something.
- >After a few seconds, you stop flapping your arms around and your head droop.
- >With your inverted perspective, you can see a set of orange hooves getting closer to you.
- >You turn to face the mare.
- >There's a certain look of concern with a hint of pity on the pony's face.
- >She trots over to your stuff and lean her back against your violin case.
- >As she gets back to a walking position, it sticks to her back.
- >Meh, you're getting used to those guys doing stuff that makes no sense.
- >The orange mare beckons you to follow her with her head.
- >These guys really are hospitable, not that you mind. It's not like you have anywhere else to be.
- >You comply and go after Applejack.
- >A few minutes of walking later, you are lead to a barn-like building.
- >Applejack takes you the a door on the side of the... house?
- >Is it weird for you to consider it normal for ponies to live in a barn?
- >Maybe that makes you a racist.
- >Or is it speciesist?
- >Absorbed in your semantications...
- >Semanticizing? Semantalisa...
- >Fuck this.
- >Absorbed in your semantics-related thoughts, you didn't notice you just followed the pony through the door.
- >You snap out of it when you see a red stallion looking at you, perpexingly raising an eyebrow.
- >This guy is HUGE!
- >Well, he's only about chest-height for you.
- >But he towers over all the other ponies you saw.
- >His tallness could be somewhat intimidating, if he wasn't wearing an apple-themed apron.
- >You stifle a snicker and Applejack begins a conversation with the stallion.
- >Well, 'conversation' might not be the best way to describe it.
- >It's more like a pony having a riveting discussion with a brick wall.
- >A brick wall that nods. Sometimes.
- >After a few more words, the orange mare lifts a hoof and points it towards you.
- >"Anonymous!"
- >She moves her hoof so that it now face the stallion.
- >"‹Big Macintosh.›"
- >The apron-wearing pony gives you a nod of salutation.
- >You return it.
- >Silent type, huh? That's fine with you.
- >Suddenly, your eyes meet.
- >A fiery staredown occurs.
- >Both of you are standing still, the earth trembling as your gazes lock.
- >You can feel his emotionless stare peer into your very soul.
- >Slowly chipping away your sanity with is unwavering look.
- >...
- >Or maybe it's just bullshit.
- >The guy is probably just curious about the alien in his kitchen.
- >Really, the only unnerving thing in this room is the awkward silence.
- >Applejack gets behind you and pushes you to the next room with her head.
- >As she forces to another part of the house, the mare speaks to you.
- >You give a shrug to the stallion, who answers with one of his own before going back to cooking.
- >Alright, now you think you just entered the living room.
- >Couch, front door, staircase and grandma on a rocking chair.
- >Yeah, living room sounds about right.
- >Applejack finishes pushing you through the room and stops next to a couch.
- >Guess you'll just sit down.
- >She drops your violin next to you.
- >The orange mare walks to the green elderly and begins a vaguely familiar speech.
- >Probably the same one she gave to Big Macintosh.
- >You guess that it might be how and where she found you.
- >She finishes with the presentations once again.
- >"‹Granny Smith, Anonymous. Anonymous, Granny Smith.›"
- >The old mare gets on her hooves and shakily move closer to you.
- >She extends a hoof towards you.
- >You carefully grab it, that thing looks like it could snap in two if you put too much force onto it.
- >Suddenly, you are yanked out of your seat and pulled to your feet.
- >God damn, Granny's on steroids!
- >She shakes you around by the hand like a ragdoll.
- >Even after she let go of it, you still feel like your arm went through a clothes dryer.
- >While trying to make your arm stop quaking, you feel your shirt lifting a little in your back.
- >The wrinkled mare is poking at your lower back, grumbling.
- >Woah, what the-
- >She gives you stronger jab, right next to the location of your back pain.
- >-FUUUuuuooohh...
- >You feel the ailment in you back satifyingly melt away.
- >With a relieved sigh, you sink back to your seat.
- >Applejack chuckles and Granny Smith slowly makes her way back to her rocker.
- >Note to self: Ponies get super powers as they grow old. Also, don't mess with Granny Smith.
- ------------------------------------
- PART THREE
- ------------------------------------
- >You can hear a small clip-clop coming from the stairs.
- >Turning your head, you spot what's making the noise.
- >It's a young pony!
- >She seems to be throwing some inqueries to the ponies downstairs.
- >Oh god, she even has a cute little country accent like the rest of the ponies that live here.
- >The filly notices you and stop dead her track.
- >Slowly, she passes her head between the railing of the stairs
- >She then stares at you with a pair oversized gamboge eyes and an even more oversized red bow on her head.
- >It's downright adorable.
- >Heh, 'gamboge'. When did you became a color swatch?
- >Applejack turns to the foal and says a short sentence that ends with your name.
- >The young pony nods then joins the three of you downstairs.
- >And she doesn't stop staring at you the entire time.
- >Once the filly is closer to her, Applejack takes a deep breath.
- >Oh boy, here we go again.
- >You could probably repeat this speech word for word by now.
- >Hopefully, this is the last time you'll have to sit through it.
- >As soon as the mare finishes her last sentence, a light ringing is heard from the kitchen.
- >The head of Big Macintosh slips through the doorway connecting the two rooms.
- >You chuckle as you see him still wearing the apron.
- >Applejack turns around and asks the red stallion something.
- >He answers with a nod and a single word, dragging the first syllable longer than what you're used to hear.
- >As you wonder what she could have asked him, the aroma of freshly baked food fills the room.
- >Smells great.
- >Dinner must be ready, so you'll take that as your cue to leave.
- >You stand up and make your way towards what you assume is the front door, waving goodbye to the occupants as you do.
- >Your exit is suddenly obstructed by a great adversary.
- >The yellow filly blocking your path gives you the biggest puppy eyes you've ever witnessed.
- >You kneel down to her level.
- >She looks straight into your eyes and asks you a question, her mouth changing to a pout once she's done speaking.
- >Low blow little one.
- >How could you say 'no' to that face?
- >You sigh in defeat and nod.
- >Whatever it is you accepted, it can't be that bad.
- >She jumps and let out a little squeak of joy.
- >You can't help but wonder what was her question as she runs past you.
- >You follow the filly with your eyes as she enters the kitchen.
- >She walks by Applejack, who is standing in the doorway and looking at you.
- >You give her a shrug.
- >The mare chuckles while slowly shaking her head.
- >She probably knows that you can't understand what any of them are saying by now.
- >With a wave of her hoof, she motions you to follow her in the kitchen.
- >Maybe that's what you signed up on.
- >Staying for dinner.
- >Might as well do it, lest you disappoint that poor kid.
- >Entering the kitchen, you can see what the stallion was preparingg earlier.
- >Apple salad, apple stew, apple juice, cider, applesauce and, of course, apples.
- >You sit at the table with your hosts.
- >A conversation begins around you as you start to fill your plate with various apple based food.
- >Since you can't participate in the discussion, you start to let your mind wander around a little.
- >It's quite a nice family you stumbled upon.
- >Applejack and Big Macintosh have the cutest kid.
- >They work the orchard together
- >They make a business selling apples and apple byproducts.
- >And they take care of Applejack's mother.
- >Yup, real nice family.
- >It's entirely speculations, though.
- >You wonder how close you are from the thruth.
- >Lost in your thoughts, you eat silently and pay no real attention to the ponies talking around you.
- >Time flies by and soon enough, everyone's done eating.
- >And all eyes are turned towards you, a smile under each pair of eyes.
- >...Is there something on your face?
- >You palm your face to check if there's some food sticking to your skin.
- >Applejack plant a hoof on her face.
- >She then starts to gesture something.
- >One hoof lifted to shoulder-length, about a foot of distance between said shoulder and hoof.
- >The other hoof moves back and forth in a line perpendicular to the space mentioned earlier.
- >You ponder for a few seconds, probably with the stupidest confused look ever, before you understand what she means.
- >Lifting yourself from your chair, you nod to the mare.
- >Leaving the kitchen, you go back to the living room.
- >And walk to your partner, who's sleeping comfortably in his wood and velvet coffin.
- >Freeing him from his restrains, you pluck each string to see if it's still in tune.
- >You then pull out your bow and feed it some of your rosin cake.
- "Time to shine, buddy."
- >You grab the instrument and move back to the kitchen.
- >As you re-enter the room, you can see that Big Macintosh is tuning an accoustic guitar.
- >You improvise for a minute or two to warm up, while you think about a song you could play for them.
- >Oh yeah, this'll do nicely.
- >You stop playing for a moment, trying to remember how it goes.
- >And then you begin.
- >goo.gl/RuYbu
- >The red stallion plays along nicely on his guitar.
- >Applejack and the filly are... dancing? Maybe?
- >You're not an expert in pony dances, so you can't really tell.
- >Granny Smith is tapping the table in rythm with the music.
- >The rest of the evening is spent playing music and dancing with your hosts.
- >You all stop when the little filly is too exhausted to continue.
- >Actually, you all look pretty tired.
- >Granny Smith is nodding in and out of sleep while mumbling.
- >Applejack is yawning loudly.
- >Big Macintosh has the kid on his back and is leaving the kitchen, probably to get her to bed.
- >And you, you're laying your partner back in his casket so he can go back to his silent slumber.
- >Time to get home now.
- >...
- >Fuck. You forgot that you don't really have a place to live in.
- >Well, you could go back to Lyra and Bon Bon, you don't think they would mind that much.
- >You pick up your stuff and walk to Applejack, extending your hand to her once you get closer.
- >She shakes it and give you a nod.
- >You move to the door that you first entered when you got here and open it.
- >Aaaand it's dark as hell outside.
- >Double fuck.
- >How are you supposed to find your way back to Lyra's place in this darkness.
- >You hate to do this since they already were so hospitable to you, but...
- >Sighing, you walk back to Applejack, who eyes you quizzically.
- >You put your palms together and bring both hands to the side of your head, pretending to sleep on them.
- >Applejack put a hoof to her chin and thinks for a while.
- >Oh great.
- >A barn.
- >A real one this time, not a home-barn hybrid like the country ponies live in.
- >Welp, beggars can't be choosers.
- >You lay in a pile of hay an try to make yourself comfortable.
- >...
- >'Try' is the keyword here.
- >That shit has to be one of the most unpleasant thing you tried to sleep on.
- >You'd have to be insane to like it.
- >Nevertheless, after a few minutes of turning and twisting around on hay, you manage to fall asleep.
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