Fyodor stopped halfway through his climb up Burrow Street hill. He was looking through an entanglement of the branches and leaves of a magnolia tree and through a bathroom window at a naked figure. It was a cold day which produced condensation on the glass of the window, and he could barely identify the feminine features of the figure from this distance on the footpath, so with careful steps around the muddy roots of the magnolia he made his way down the bank. Yes, it was certainly a female, he thought excitedly to himself when he had got within range of the shower’s oblivious hissing. He felt himself stiffening through his school uniform and made some more careful steps towards the magnolia tree where he felt more secure. With a practised motion he undid his fly so that it made little sound and extracted himself with equal skill. Crunch, crunch, crunch – somebody was coming along the footpath! He quickly leaned against the magnolia and took out his phone, his heart racing and his branch softening. “Oh, hey, Fyodor,” a dreaded voice called from the footpath above. “What are you doing down-”
“Yeah, she’s probably finishing training about now so we could claim it before she gets home. Oh, hey, James!” Another voice coming along the footpath behind James had interrupted him. Fyodor supposed it was David inviting someone over to his house and continued to study his phone. “What are you doing down there?” he heard David’s voice call. He could only turn his head because his front was still exposed and replied. “Oh, nothing. Just stopping to rest.” There were three of them now up the bank looking at him – James, David, and Roald who was being invited to David’s house. They hadn’t noticed the girl in the shower. “Hey, we were going to go over to my place to watch TV before my sister gets home from training.” They all knew what training meant because all of their sisters, who were two years ahead of them, were in the same five-a-side football team for their high school. He was about to decline the invitation when there was a sound from the bathroom which everyone glanced to look at. “Woah!” Everyone but Fyodor exclaimed, including Marcel who couldn’t get up the hill as quickly as everybody else on account of his enormous stomach. They all scrambled down the bank to join him, Marcel losing his footing on a root and crushing him against the magnolia. The ball of fat was wearing his sister’s football coat – she was also in the five-a-side team – and it was now covered in sticky mud. Fyodor tried to use this distraction to zip himself up, but he risked mincing himself if he did, so he closed his eyes and waited for the bouts of laughter which were bound to begin at any moment. Then, Zip! Zip! Zip! Zip! Fyodor turned his head again, disgusted but strangely relieved to see his friends had joined him in spectating the girl in the shower. He turned his head back and with as little motion as possible, began. “Woah!” Everyone now said when another figure joined the first through the steamy window. The pace quickened when yet another female danced into the room which appeared now to be a sort of shower room rather than a residential bathroom. Everyone stopped for a moment before continuing more slowly when a third figure walked in who appeared to have tattoos on her bare arms and legs. The five boys were now panting loudly and a dense fog had formed around them which Fyodor liked to think concealed their position from the footpath. Not thirty seconds later two more had entered, and for the first time Fyodor could see that the new girls were covered in not tattoos but thick mud which they began scrubbed away at, their parts jiggling as they did so under the hot torrents of water. “Gah!” Marcel gasped from behind him. “You g-guys I’m just gonna wait up there for you.”
“Shut up, Marcel!” Everyone said furiously through clenched teeth. Fyodor hadn’t focused this hard all day, not even in his advanced Calculus class which he took with the final year students. When he had finished only Roald remained and he was bent over, exhausted, with one hand on the greasy magnolia which slipped off and sent him tumbling further down the bank in his own and everybody else’s discharge.
When they finally got back to David’s the rain which became heavier as they climbed had washed off Marcel’s and Roald’s respective markings and the boys were able to claim the TV remote before David’s sister came home from training. Soon after the front door opened and a long rush of cool air floated into the living room. David was about to shout for his sister to close it because everyone was still wet from the rain when giggling began to sound from the hall. The boys turned toward the sound and their five sisters walked by with towels drying their wet hair.