Night of the Living Statue

Ugh, I can't believe it's back again. I fucking hate that thing! Why won't it go away?

Okay, you know he's a *living* statue, right? Emphasis on *living*? He must have a home that he goes back eventually. He can't just stand there for all eternity.

And his legs work. Which means that he's perfectly capable of walking himself over to another street corner, so I don't have to look at him every goddamn day.

Why doesn't he just go bother somebody else? It's not like he's making bank here. The only traffic is busy people on their way to work.

(shouting) Who would very much like to be left alone! Can you hear me, you stupid piece of tin? Your miming is not welcome here. Go away.

*sigh* And, of course, he still won't move. What do I have to do?

What a piece of shit...

What? I have plenty of reasons to hate him! The way he stares off into the distance with those beady little eyes. His ridiculous anachronistic outfit. The way he takes up the entire sidewalk.

And I bet he's a creep. I bet he stares at my ass every time I walk away. The pervert.

What? You can't *prove* that he doesn't. For all you know, you're masturbation fodder for his nightmares. I'm telling you. He's the type.

(shouting) Did you hear me, Mr. Statue Man? I think that you're a pervert. Huh? Going to do anything about it?

No? Just going to keep staring in that direction?

You're pathetic.

What? No, we're not leaving. Not today. I'm done. I'm going to break that statue like the sad little man he is.

No, don't try to stop me. He's had this coming for a long time.

*optional footsteps*

Ah, hello there Mr. Statue. Such a loving day isn't? It's a pity that you don't have any birds to enjoy it with. Such a shame that none of them will land on you. You know, because they know that you're not a fucking real statue.

(whisper) And you never will be.

Oh, you do need me to prove it to you? Well, I bet that real statues aren't ticklish.

Mhmmm. Do you enjoy how my fingertips taunt you? Doesn't my touch just make you want to giggle?

No? Well, if your arms aren't ticklish than about the backs of your knees?

Mhmm? Doesn't it feel good? Don't your knees just want to buckle?

Mhmmm.

Still no?

Well, if you won't laugh, how about if I see if I can get to you moan?

It must be so difficult standing on this corner all day. I bet that's been a long time since you've felt the touch of a woman. I bet your body is just begging for me to play with you.

*kiss*

Mhhm. Did that feel good, darling? Has it been so long since you've been kissed? Can you still the taste of me on your tongue?

Mhmm.

I promise that you can moan, dear. I won't tell a soul.

No?

Well, maybe you need another kiss.

*kiss*

Any better, sweetie? Doesn't it just make you want to lick your lips? Just a little?

*kiss*

Ooh, I guess you're still a little stiff. What is I kissed your neck? Would you like that? My sweet lips all over your tender neck?

*kiss*

Tell me, are you sensitive? Am I giving you goosebumps?

*kiss*

Mhmm. How about your ears? I bet they are even more sensitive?

Oooh, would you like me to tease them?

*kiss*

Mhmm. Feel good? Don't you like that?

Oh, can't you moan for me? Just once, please?

Mhmm?

*kiss*

*groan*

Alright, fine. You pathetic freak. I know that you think that you're all strong and mighty. But I'm not falling for it. I know that deep down-you're just a man. And like all men....you have certain urges.

*kiss*

I bet you're hard, right now aren't you? No matter how much you try to keep still. There are just some little reflexes that you just can't control.

Mhmm. I know that I'm right.

Mind if I reach down to check sweetie?

Mhmm. I know that I'm not supposed to, but I'm going to take your silence for a yes. As stiff as you are, I don't think that you deserve anything better.

If you *really* didn't want this, you'd move, wouldn't you?

Mhmm. Well, your cock certainly seems to like it. You're already so hard, baby.

*giggle* Did my little kisses do that to you?

Ooh, you poor dear. I guess I'll just have to take care of that.

Would you mind if I took your pants down? Mhmm. Would you like that? Your big hard cock hanging out for all to see?

*giggle* I suppose that you can always say no. But we both know that you won't.

Tell me....Are you that committed to your craft or do you just enjoy the thought of me touching it?

Well, if you won't say anything, I guess there's only one way to find out...

Mhm. Turns out these pants aren't made of a medal after all. Good thing too because I want to see all of you.

There you go, baby. How does the cold night air feel on your rock hard cock? Mhmm.

*kiss*

Poor dear, do you need me to warm it up for you?

*kiss*

How about I put my little mouth all over your nice long shaft? Mhmm. Good sound?

*laugh* I'll take your silence for a yes.

*wet sounds*

Mhmm. I definitely tasting man and not metal. Tell me, what other surprises do you have in store, Mr. Statue?

*wet sounds*

Mhmm. I wonder what your cum tastes like. Mhmm. Would you like to show me?

*wet sounds*

Come on, cum for me you little asshole. I know that you want to.

*wet sounds*

Cum for me. I want the world to see just how excited you are.

*wet sounds*

Come on, darling. You can't stay still forever. You'll have to give in eventually. There is no stopping it.

*wet sounds*

Just let go.

*wet sounds*

Ohh. Ohh.

Mhmm. Oh my, good sir. It seems that I've made you very happy.

And yet you still didn't make a sound? Mhmm. Maybe you're tougher than I thought.

*laugh* But I don't care, darling. I still won. I still got you to move. Or did you forget about the delicious cum sliding down your leg?

Poor dear. You can't even pull your pants up. I suppose that I *could* help, but I'd rather just leave you there all night. Exposed like the fraud that you are.

*laugh*

Good night darling, have fun standing there.

*footsteps*

Oh, um you're still here.

Um, yeah. I just gave a blowjob to a living statue. So what? I proved my point.

Um, come on. We should probably leave before the cops show up.